The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

It was a combination of things. I watched Hairspray. Suffered with nightmares of John Travolta in drag for weeks! I started reading some introductory Tibetan Buddhism dogma. More specifically Shambahla - The path of the warrior. I saw Avenue Q. I was inspired to research burlesque and vaudeville by Chicago and E!'s top 12 sexiest jobs preview. Queen Latifah has always been a particular idol of mine, (again, back to Hairspray.)



There was a particular phrase that hit me hard. When the little (and I use the term little very loosely) starlet was trying to convince her mother to be her manager the mother replied: "Maybe after my next diet." Then there was a friend of mine who said "You really have no idea how cute you are, do you?"



Each time one of these single solitary situations move me to tears it washes away a bit of my delusions. Whereas back in the day I heard over and over again that I can't sing this or that because I'm a girl, I won't go anywhere because I'm short and fat, or I can't work in this restaurant as a singer, I don't have the legs for it; I come to realize that the only person anymore that has an issue today with my height, weight and sex, is me.



People are starting to see that fat people can be good dancers, they can be good singers; in short, fat people can be sexy too. Lately, in Pittsburgh, I say that I used to work on cars, no one blinks an eye. I sing a black sabbath song, and everyone cheers. People even tell me that I have a couple of moves when I dance.



What is happening to this world? What, indeed. Thanks to people like Queen Latifah, Pink, Krystal, Anne Hathaway, Oprah, John Popper, Lucy the Slut, the world is beginning to see changes that have been a long time in the making. It seems the size six glass skirt has broken and I am here to stomp on the remaining shattered pieces.



Yes, I can finally start to feel like I can be on stage singing and not be embarrased about my height sex or weight. Next Sunday I'll do it again. I'll be back at Ryan's pub singing a vaudeville jazz song, followed by old school metal.



I'll be going to the Jazz nights around town and dusting off the old pipes. I plan to have a band together and be gigging out again by early next year. And that's not just smoke. There's actually a real live fire under my ass now.

Shiny, shiny
bad days behind me
shiny shiny
Na, na, na, na!

I start a programming job on Tuesday.
I will be able to get furniture soon.
And health insurance for the two of us at Turtle Island.

Shiny, shiny... happy happy.

Well, I just want to cry.

I had an interview this morning, which went relatively well, they moved me up to take a data test. They give me data, instructions, I do work for them and send it back. It is the next step of the interview process for a job that will take me 1 hour and 45 minutes to commute to in traffic.



I have a phone interview for a one month job tomorrow. I had a feeling the recruiter was green from the way he kept calling me. Yup, I guessed as much. They screwed up with their last placement at this company and I'm really going to have to sell myself in this phone interview tomorrow to undo the damage that they already did with their client. No wonder they've been nickeling me down on the rate. This month is probably solely out of their pocket because they already screwed up.



I went to the job office to see about getting extended UC benefits or something because my job WAS outsourced... (don't they have a federal program for that?) Yes, in fact they do. The company I worked at already had over twenty claims denied because it is not a product that was outsourced, it was a service (and over 4000 jobs.)



Oh, and some good news, there is a postal job opening. It is right in my neighborhood, it pays just over $10/hr, and it is exclusively for displaced workers like me! Woot! Yeah. I filled out my name and address, and chainsaw through sails, I'll be getting a testing date in the mail in about two weeks.



Argh! This job search is so frustrating that I can't even go postal right now. Can you imagine that?!?



I called the temp agencies - There is no work on account of the holidays. You would think the opposite would be true - ne?



So we have no money, and thanksgiving approaches. We have a turkey in the freezer because I bought it way back when we first got our kitchen working in September, and the b/f wisely asked me not to cook it just yet.



So, I can make turkey. And I have some change, I'm thinking perhaps there is just a little bit of supplies I can buy to make a good thanksgiving. Recondensed milk, Some kind of veggie, what else, what else? I have no clue. My brain is as frozen as our turkey. It wants to go postal, but ironically, it has to wait two weeks.



This is supposed to be a time of plenty, but all I gots is plenty of frustration, sadness, depression and anxt.



Bah, Humbug!

The difference between a tweet, twit, twut, and twat....



Picture the dumb single minded shallow girls from the sorority in Legally Blonde. Didn't see that movie? OK, how about that girl down in marketing who jets off to paris to have her hair cut yet you can hear the jet lag (or is that the ocean) when you stand too close to her and she opens her mouth.



When this girl was about 4, 8, 10, or 12 years old she was really tweet.



When she turns 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, she becomes a twit.



By 24 she should know better right? You would think....

Round about age 24 she starts her transformation into a "Twut?" At the ages of 24, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38 you can talk to her, but all you can think of while you are being tortured by the dribble that is oozing from her brain is, "WTF?!?" That is called a "twut."



By the time she's marinated in diamonds and vodka long enough to turn her skin that perma shade of fake tan, and her wrinkles are showing through the best cover up she can buy, and she's still shopping at forever 21, going to clubs and dating a new guy every week, and quite embittered about life and the world around her.... Well, that's a twat.



There. An easy to follow documentation of the evolution between a tweet and a twat that almost anyone can understand.



Enjoy!

After having only 1.5 hours of very interrupted sleep, I got up at 4:30 am (with the help of my awesome honey) made myself presentable as best I could -sans water- took the b/f into work at 5:00 cleaned up a little in the store lavatory and then left for the hotel.



When I got to the hotel, no one aside from the catering staff was around. I managed to get someone to find the event book boxes with the bell station, but no other conference materials could be found.



The coordinator working with me was 30 minutes late. Thankfully, she had done one of these gigs before, so she knew who to call to get the stuffs we were missing. (Registration sheets, sign in forms, order forms, survey forms, completion certificates, packing and tracking information.) We were left out in the cold, high and dry and left to pull this off with no prep packets and none of the forms we needed.



It is because of this conference that I now consider psychologists, social workers, addiction counselors, and therapists the most pathetic, needy, whiny, self-deluded, and bottom feeding creatures on the planet.



The all day conference I coordinated today could have provided up to 7.5 hours continuing education units for certain licensed individuals. If they miss part of the classes however, some degrees offer partial credit for the CEUs, some degrees have no grace period for attendance and those people get NO credit for the class.



Contrary to the regulations which I found out about later in the day (because our information packets never arrived), I did not mark down anyone who was within 1/2 hour late. From those who were more than 40 minutes and up to two hours late, however, I got to hear them whine about how they should not be penalized for being late because... It's snowing, traffic is bad, they had to drop their kids off at school, they got lost, they didn't know what time the conference started because it was booked and paid for by their employer, etc.



By the end of the day we were in receipt and understanding of the rules. Anyone who came in late or left more than 5 minutes early gets a partial credit box checked on their completion certificate. They whined about having their partial credit box checked because they needed to beat traffic, it's light up night, they have clients that they cannot have waiting for them at their office, they have a doctor's appointment, they have an injury and have been suffering with it all day, etc.



This was an extreme exercise in what should be the full contact sport of Pookah-tongue-holding.



I wanted to say several things. One of these things was akin to: "Oh, I see how it is. You can't take responsibility for your own problems/shortcomings, so you go into therapy to distract yourself with someone else's problems!"



One lady came to me at the break after some announcements were made. She said, "Did you guys call my name, or was I having auditory hallucinations?"



I wanted to say: "No, I'm sorry, that must be a result of the amount of vodka you've been marinating in nightly for the last fifteen years. We didn't call your name. Dry up, ya ol' fossilized twat!"



The pookah was very good. She kept a smile on her face, apologized all day for every inconvenience that trickled down to the client for the vendor being ill-prepared, wrapped it up, got it done, drove home in rush hour traffic, made it to the water company on time, and got the water turned back on.



Oh... a bath is most assuredly on the agenda for this weekend.

Grr. Argh!



Even after my unemployment check clears tomorrow, my bank account will be $300 in the red. That is pretty sickening.



The water is shut off at the house, my tire blew today, it is after 2 am, and I have to be up in just under two hours to do a crappy min wage job from 5:45 am to ??



The money for today's job will get direct deposited, so it will chip maybe $80 off of my red, but then the tire incident will hit my account for $79, and the water bill will be $80 + whatever deposit or fees to get it turned back on and who knows how long that will take.



I have no idea how that will work out with me being at a job all day tomorrow from before dawn to after dark, but I hope to GOD we can get it paid somehow and get water back for the weekend. I'll be calling on my first break, if I get one. If it needs to be paid in person, I hope I can work it out with the water company to sent the b/f out, and I hope he doesn't have to close the shop during business hours to go and do it. I hope it won't be too much of a deposit, and I hope to god there is enough money to scrape together to get water back.



Grr. Argh!



I had to cancel all of my interviews for programming jobs next week to take crappy min wage jobs Monday thru Wednesday. Suckage, but we need the cold hard immediate cash more than I need yet another interview.



Yeah, showering would be nice.



Oh, and the car insurance will be cancelled on the 17th.



Oh, and the other front tire needs to be replaced too.



I'm not going to be able to shower before work tomorrow, and I feel real icky about that.



Things will be just fine in a week or two, I just know it. It's always darkest before the dawn /n@.



Gar. I need to get me at least an hour and a half sleep.



Boy am I going to be bushed tomorrow.



Gar.

Crazy stuff, right? Someone came into TI from the film shoot today. We didn't know who he was, but he wanted to use the wireless out in the parking lot. I said, "well, I dunno, you can try. But we've got a table in here we can clear off for you if you want."



He said, "No, I've got all my stuff in my truck." We assume he needs printers and whatnot.



"What'sa matta? We not good enough for ya?" says my b/f tongue in cheek.



The guy laughs, and as quickly as he stops in, he is gone again.



So I'm doing some research on the net, and it turns out that this was actually the Adventureland location manager, Jeff Carmon, that stopped in our little shop.



Last I checked at 9:18 pm they were still filming 1/4 mile up the road.



Turtle Island is planning on being open tonight until after they are done.



We may just open up at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow morning, too.

Sometimes I just spontaneously get the craziest ideas, and they are usually good, but I end up justifying them to myself until they die a cold and lonely un-fruited death.



Today was not one of those days.



As we were making the U-Turn to head into work today we saw what we thought was a commercial being filmed at the local plaza. Turns out it was a new movie. Adventureland.



I had the crazy idea that perhaps I should take some Turtle Island fliers and some Giorgio's Pizza menus out there and introduce ourselves as local businesses. I called Giorge to get his approval first. He said "heck yeah!" So off I went.



I hit up the costuming, the actors, the makeup people, the lights and sound people, the catering people, all the people I could find with walkie talkies, introduced myself, and let everyone know that I am a local business and I would be happy if they wanted to stop by check us out, we're offering free computer and wireless access for the day, etc. etc. Then I handed them the Giorgio's menu and let them know that he has the best pizza, calzone's, and burgers in the area, and he delivers.



I've got some large stones... let's hope that my boldness pays off today...



(xing fingers)



In other news, One of the ppl I met today was SCA. She asked what my SCA name is. I said, well my Dagorhir name is "Pookah Chu" I'm still working on my SCA name.



I got back and browsed for a bit, and I'm toying with the idea of using the name of "Catalina de la Puca."



Look it up. Essentially, it means: "Pure of the Evil Trickster Sprite." and people can call me the kitty-pookah!

Well, I typed the whole blog in spanish, and then accidentally hit back and lost it all. Damn. The gist of it is... I know I will have a job within a week or 10 days, but I still feel lost! I've started my resource center, which I know will grow to fruition within two years, I don't know... it's not like I'm making timeframe demands on the universe, I just have this internal map and compass and it's been pinging at me for the last eight months or so, so I fancy that I can guess the frequency of the vibrations and make a correlative guess to its fruition.



Here is what are on the hot plates at the moment. The resource center is doing a really good job with the local LARPs and RPGs, the b/f is doing an awesome job with Magus effects. Codev is getting tickled too. We almost have a very small web contract, a flier contract and another brochure contract. We got a query about doing travel hotel sound for conferences.



TI is starting to trickle. We have a bellydancing class coming up where if it is full, TI will make $100 for opening on Mondays for six weeks, and a meditation class is in the works that TI might make $50 on. Things are starting to trickle in, but we're not making rent just yet... Hence, I'm still looking or a programming job.



I was supposed to have a phone interview today, but I think the company forgot. They set a time when they would call at the given number, and they did not call. I left a message and I got a voicemail call back four hours later. I have to wait until tomorrow to see what happened.



Bank account is still in the red, and it looks like it will be that way for a while. Still working on stuff, but thinking we're getting desperate enough for me to get up at 4 am and do Labor Ready. I still think I'll be able to start a real job within 10 days, but can we squeak by until then?



Next, I'm thinking about singing. Can I get a paid singing gig? Should I start an all female Pink Floyd cover band? What about writing? I notice that my inspirational column is still getting unsolicited good hits, and I now have a camera to be able to do more inspirational products. Should I get back on that trip?



Then again I like the idea of hanging out at my resource center, brushing up on my languages, studying meditation, I ching, and reading some of the awesome books we have here. I could even install a musicing program and start writing again.



Then again, there is the whole health and fitness picture. I do need to get my butt back on the workout grind.



I picture the chaos symbol in my mind and wonder why I am allowing myself to be pulled around so much as such.



hrm.

Happy because the last of our stuff is out of storage. All of our stuff is for the first time, all in our house! Celebrated a bit too hard last night. Sad because the job I applied to, passed. That could be part of the reason I went a little overboard last night.



I'm feeling just a bit grr... arrgh! I'm trying to be patient because I know it will all work out, but I'm getting a bit anxious here. Part of me wants to hide under the covers, but the rest of me knows that hiding won't get my bank account back in the black.



My mom had an accident. A little too late to be a pirate for Halloween, she decided to try and take her eye out with a bush by falling off of her perch while trimming a tree. Thankfully, eye surgery is not required at this time. She gets her stitches out tomorrow, but from what I hear she will have a scar across her eye and up her forehead. We have some left over eye patches from ITLAP day. I could send her one.



Pooh. I want the store to be supporting me, not the other way around. Grr... Argh! I want to have the money to book the plane tix I need to go to my brother's wedding. Grr... Argh! I want a job and a paycheck in my account yesterday. Grr... Argh!



I need to go back into computers to pay the bills, yet I know going back to programming is not what I should be doing. I should be singing, or writing, helping people, or ....something.

Grr... Argh!



Sometimes life just takes its sweet time to work things out, doesn't it? Just when you think you're on the right path, it makes you start over at Mediterranean Avenue. Without collecting your $200 for passing go.