Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
15 entries this month
07:28 Dec 31 2024
Times Read: 186
Okay so I'm asking for direction...
I'm old, I just want simple things, lol.
I am looking to add some of the imagery I had once upon a time on my profile. It used to be FULL of graphics and beautiful images, but I 'vanished' for many years from VR, and lost many things...related to this site/profile
My photobucket is deleted AND the graphics (horizontal line bar) etc.
So my question(s) I hope are simple.
I want to add photos to my profile, can I do that without photobucket? AND if I can, how?!
I would like the silver horizontal line (like a page/paragraph divider) how the hell do I get that again?
Thank you in advance to anyone that's willing to help the rusty at coding QOC?
05:26 Dec 28 2024
Times Read: 316
I made this entry 11 days ago...
10:55 Dec 16 2024
Times Read: 525
I was asked last night by a friend what compelled me to "come back" to VR
I haven't logged in, in well years...a minute here or there, but haven't
come back like I once was...I feel like one of the OG's of the site, lol
But this would today be my response when
I think about that question,
because really...
why?
Returning to this place "VR" that once served as my escape feels like
reconnecting with a part of myself.
Even though I haven’t been here in a while, there’s still a pull to keep that space
open for the friendships that I've made.
Some memories may be tinged with sadness, but the bond with those
connections remains strong,
and the space holds a quiet significance,
a reminder of growth, warmth, and shared moments
TONIGHT
I now know the REAL reason I was "called" to come back to VR.
That someone needed to hear my words
How POWERFUL words are...
I am blown away from the inbox message I received from a beautiful young woman
who I have spoken with many many years ago. Filled with actions, words, thoughts,
memories and moments that are unspeakable.
Their strength and the true vulnerability they expressed and shared with me, is a space that I
hold dearly and it will ALWAYS be open as that SAFE SPACE to enter, share and
be truly heard.
SHAME ON YOU
Keep my name out of your fucking dirty filthy disgusting mouth
I NEVER knew you
Just a fucking pig
Recognizing and Responding/Handling a narcissistic person
23:38 Dec 27 2024
Times Read: 372
What is the BEST way to handle narcissist's?
I've come to realize over the years that the best way to handle a narcissistic
person is to simply NOT engage. They’ll often escalate, becoming
angry and, 9.5 times out of 10, try to turn others against you, portraying you
as 'crazy' or 'abusive.' (hmm..yup)
This behavior reveals the true nature of their manipulations. They cling to their
'flying monkeys' and play the victim, while the constant emotional turmoil they inflict is
truly overwhelming and can be catastrophic.
If someone is not mentally strong, the narcissist can leave you emotionally
drained often experience
feelings of confusion, inadequacy, and anxiety.
The constant emotional rollercoaster/mind
FUCK can erode your sense of self-worth.
I'm grateful that I was able to walk out, after YEARS of "mental gymnastics".
Don't get roped back in
Cut your ties and MOVE FORWARD
See YOUR worth, YOUR voice & YOUR emotions THEY MATTER.
Breaking the cycle can be hard, but worth it.
Then sit back and watch them sink their own ship.
It's crazy how I saw this so many years ago, and have moved past
this...but then to see the "typical" text book scenario play out before you
is sad nearly a DECADE later. Actually it's fucking disgusting what I read...
I tried to be a friend, but they don't have "friends"
It's THAT simple.
Oh how I love to retire for the evening...
07:08 Dec 27 2024
Times Read: 416
The room is cold, the window open wide to the winter’s breath.
The bed sheets, like the winds, are cool, crisp to the touch.
My skin, tender to the chill, shivers, responds to the touch by an arching back, a ripple of
goosebumps running across the surface of my being. The winter’s kiss meets the
stillness of the night, a longing heart reaching for comfort, yearning for peace.
The cold, sharp and real, transforms beneath my skin,
A slow dance of warmth beginning to stir from within the blankets. What was once dreadfully
cold begins to cradle my body in its embrace, a slow, gentle heat rising up,
seeking me where I need it most.
In this stillness, where each breath is a reminder of longing,
I find solace in the embrace of this quiet. The peace that comes with surrendering
to the cold, and the love that grows in the warmth beneath it.
Tonight a different scent fills my room, a scent my Daughter gave me in my stocking.
It's like a different place tonight, calmness fills me...a reminder to just be present
and take everything with a new perceptive to the same safe space.
21:02 Dec 26 2024
Times Read: 457
I've found myself this morning again in self reflection, something
I do numerous times throughout my days, it's something I've always practiced starting
back when I stepped into my lifelong career as a Nurse.
It's the simple process to gain insight about my entire practice, 'reviewing' or 'analyzing'
one's experiences, one's actions and most certainly one's decisions.
Why some ask? For the soul intent to IMPROVE one's self.
However this morning all I can keep circling around as I nod to myself taking
drink of my tea, and an expression that I've said 1000's of times in my life,
"Don't throw stones in a glass house"
*shrugs*
Interesting
05:04 Dec 26 2024
Times Read: 531
Personal growth...
Life's lessons...
Building yourself up and starting over...
What I will say is that I’ve grown a lot over the years.
I’ve worked hard to move forward in my life and leave behind the old
routines that once held me back.
I’m not the same person I was, and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made.
I’ve focused on personal growth, building positive connections,
and staying grounded in what matters.
I’ve come to realize that holding on to negativity and misrepresentation
doesn't serve anyone, least of all me.
Staying stagnant has NEVER been me. I’ve always put in the effort to grow,
improve, and evolve.
I’ve worked my ass off to better myself, not just in terms of skills or achievements, but in understanding how to communicate more effectively and truly hold space for others.
I’ve actively sought out ways to be a better listener, to be more compassionate, and to create healthier, more meaningful connections.
I’m not someone who shies away from change or personal development; I embrace it every day. My focus has always been on progress, not on holding onto old habits or drama.
I’m proud of the work I’ve done on myself, and I will continue to strive to be better.
I'm not perfect, yet I've NEVER claimed to be
I'm not always the BEST at communicating BUT I show up
I've hurt people, not intentionally, non the less I still hurt others
I own my shit
I'm glad I came back here, I've seen to have settled much SHIT, without even fucking trying
*shrugs*
A White Christmas04:29 Dec 26 2024
Times Read: 537
A White Christmas
This year, the snow stayed shy, just a few speckles, like whispers in the air,
fading before they could settle. I long for the quiet that comes
with a blanket of white, where each tree wears its winter coat,
branches etched in frost, looking like snow ghosts in the soft morning light.
How I miss the way the world slows,
under that quiet, frozen spell when Christmas feels complete,
wrapped in the embrace of snow.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate
...curve balls
07:29 Dec 25 2024
Times Read: 611
Why does it feel like life is always throwing curveballs my way,
each one harder to catch than the last.
While I'm already carrying my own personal struggles, it feels like I'm also carrying the burden of other people's issues,
such as family members who need me to hold it all together when I feel as though
I'm BARELY holding myself up.
I have been handed some heavy shit in my life, dealt and DANCED with the DEVIL
and came out alive, broken and shattered...I build myself from nothing. A pile of tears on the floor of my bedroom,
the very room I would collect myself so that I could fall back apart
once the door closed, away from the little eyes I'd done EVERYTHING to protect.
Night after night, alone. Pain that I'd never experienced before
real fresh and attempting to demolish me.
I am the ONLY ONE that knows that pain, and what I did to pick myself
up and move forward, every single day. The personal struggles, sacrifices made.
I am the ONLY one that knows that truth...
My parents by the grace of God...survived a horrific car accident a week ago. An accident that could have easily taken both their lives. Sitting with them, night after night....bringing them home and nursing them back to health, literally.
What I've had to deal with the last 3-4 months is ungodly.
The last 2 years how many times can I be tried? Pushed? Tested?
Why me?
This certainly isn't a pity party...and wasn't intended to be this, however HERE I AM. Fingers started typing and apparently haven't stopped YET.
Life, it's a funny funny thing...most days.
But I know I will get through it, but just wondering when I will catch a break?
19:43 Dec 23 2024
Times Read: 652
#iykyk
┌∩┐(◕◡◉)┌∩┐
...thinking of you today
19:33 Dec 23 2024
Times Read: 657
Here's to you my dear friend...
You are a wonderful memory of this place, someone I met because of this place...
I still remember Jeanie and I going looking for you, and stumbled across your obituary.
I'm so sorry that you felt this was the only way to escape your pain
RIP...you're missed and never forgotten
Suicide fucking sucks
(Kelly Clarkson: Since you've been gone playing in my mind)
Who would have thought YOU loved that song?!
Painting that vivid picture...
07:20 Dec 23 2024
Times Read: 687
In the quiet of my bedroom, the soft flicker of a candle casts gentle shadows on the walls.
Its warm glow contrasts with the cool, crisp air that slips through the open window,
mingling with the scent of coconut and mango. The room feels like a sanctuary,
a place where I can breathe, where the weight of the last few months slowly begins to lift.
I’m here, alone, but not lonely. Solitude isn't an absence—it’s the space I’ve craved, the space
where I can release the tension in my chest, the ache in my soul. Every inhale of the cool air
feels like a cleansing breath, as if it’s washing
away the stress and the pain that have accumulated over the last
few months. The stillness wraps around me like a cool comforting blanket,
offering rest for my mind, a chance to reflect without the noise of the world.
I close my eyes, feeling the peace of this moment, a much-needed pause.
In this solitude, I’m not running from anything; instead, I’m letting go, piece by piece.
The candle’s flame dances softly, and with it,
I let go of the heaviness inside.
I’m here, and for now, that is enough.
??
11:52 Dec 22 2024
Times Read: 735
There are ads in profiles themselves now?
Let them
21:13 Dec 16 2024
Times Read: 815
This is a copy paste, these are not my words.
I don't know who needs to hear this today,
but here it is
Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory?
I’ll tell you the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships. Even family can mistreat and disrespect you.
This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because
I didn't want to lose people. I learned the hard way if they were really my people
they would never treat me like that. Don't make the mistake
of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook
the fact that you're being repeatedly disrespected.
Let them be upset.
Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you,
Let them ignore you.
Let them be "right."
Let them doubt you.
Let them not like you.
Let them not speak to you.
Let them run your name in the ground.
Let them make you out to be the villain.
Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!
Kindly step aside and LET THEM.
The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. They just simply don't care.
They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. They did it anyway. People that love you care
about how they make you feel.
The end.
Let them go.
There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest
about what they've done to you.
Let them go.
The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure.
The lack of care was the closure. The lack of accountability was the closure.
The lack of honestly was the closure.
Let them go.
Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic
when you get up. Let them go.
You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply.
But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions.
Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.
You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows.
Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a
range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection,
self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.
If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand
why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves.
Because healed people do in fact heal people.
Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.
Don’t you dare let them steal your light.
Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.
You are in control of that.
Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.
Let them go.
Author unknown
18:55 Dec 16 2024
Times Read: 844
I was asked last night by a friend what compelled me to "come back" to VR
I haven't logged in, in well years...a minute here or there, but haven't
come back like I once was...I feel like one of the OG's of the site, lol
But this would today be my response when
I think about that question,
because really...
why?
Returning to this place "VR" that once served as my escape feels like
reconnecting with a part of myself.
Even though I haven’t been here in a while, there’s still a pull to keep that space
open for the friendships that I've made.
Some memories may be tinged with sadness, but the bond with those
connections remains strong,
and the space holds a quiet significance,
a reminder of growth, warmth, and shared moments
18:45 Dec 16 2024
Times Read: 852
In reflection today...
At one point, I might have believed in certain behaviors, thoughts and
generalized beliefs because I was in a difficult or unhealthy mental space.
But with time, care, and unconditional love from others, a mindset can shift.
Nurturing love and understanding help to see things differently,
allowing your thinking to change for the better,
leading to healthier choices and actions.
PERSONAL GROWTH
Is that hard to grasp, or who's right is it to even question
your current mindset and beliefs?
Hmm?
Maybe try it, do better, be better?
COMMENTS
-
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
09:44 Dec 31 2024
The easiest way I think would be to get premium membership and use the file storage you get with that to store the images and put them on your profile. If you are looking to find images you once had MAYBE (I am not sure) my hubby and I may be able to help you find some of them... that will be something we can talk about in a message though. :) I can't promise anything of course.
queenofchaos
09:51 Dec 31 2024
Thank you so much for your kindness and willingness to help. I was thinking of a premium membership, but I know that I don't want to spend $$ on something I might not sign back into for some time. I had that, and my PM ran out, and bye bye to those images, but you're totally right, it was the BEST solution...l was silly and should have just spent the $150 on the lifetime membership 18 years ago!
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
10:01 Dec 31 2024
Well for now, if you're still not sure you could always do a month and go from there if you decide it is the right thing for you. Have you attempted to look at your old photobucket? I know that even though I no longer sign into my photobucket accounts that I can still see some of my images on there. It takes forever for it to load but I was able to retrieve some of them at one point. Just something to look into maybe?
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
10:10 Dec 31 2024
I have just been informed that Photobucket is completely no more now... so scratch that idea.
queenofchaos
12:12 Dec 31 2024
I kept getting in my email from Photobucket "are you sure you want to leave" and I finally got into the account this evening and then they wanted $$ to "save" my photos. I have them all saved, it's just on another hard drive (external) that I will need to access. I'm not worried about the images, I can find them, it was more uploading to my profile, but like you've said a PM is ideally the best option. Just tonight while I was making some adjustments to my profile, I scheduled my photobucket for deletion. I'm not paying monthly to use it, when there's no point. Things now a days just cost for storage, it's just how it is.
thank you again for all your help, I appreciate it.
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
19:32 Dec 31 2024
Yay! Glad you at least still have all your images. You're welcome :)
Cadrewolf2
19:36 Dec 31 2024
Check into imgur for photos it's like photobucket
queenofchaos
04:26 Jan 01 2025
Thank you 🙏