Dear diary,
It's finally happened! I was able to read without my loud ass coworker pulling me from my book. And it's not because she wasn't at work, she was, but because she finally shut up during last break. I was able to really enjoy what I was reading. I'm glad because it's a good book and I'm hoping to go to the library tomorrow to the in-laws so I want to see if I can't finish it before then.
In other news, I've begun going live on TikTok with some friends while on my way to work. It sucks that I have to do this, but anything to feel safe. When will those in marginalized communities, especially women/femme presenting people, feel safe to walk around? Things need to change, but who will change them and when?
Love,
Raven
A/N: I'm pesce-pollotarian (I'm mostly vegetarian but I still eat seafood and poultry) and I don't like turkey so it's highly unlikely I'll eat the ham or turkey if they do bring any in for my team, but if I absolutely have to I'm more likely to eat the ham over the turkey (I reeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllllllllyyyyyyyy don't like turkey).
Dear diary,
They're supposed to be brining in ham and turkey today at work for a Thanksgiving potluck. Hopefully, our team gets something. We were lucky with the old unload and overnight managers because they would make sure we got fed, but now they're both gone. An older woman that works days did bring in some pumpkin bars with cinnamon cream cheese icing and they were delicious!
I asked for my husband's birthday off next month like I do every year and I got it off, but they also gave me the day before. If I had been asking for a Friday or Monday off I wouldn't mind and just treat it like an unexpected four day weekend, but his birthday is on Wednesday this year. I don't want to miss out too much money so I talked to the unload manager about coming in the day before my husband's and he's going to e-mail the person in charge of scheduling about it.
I was tasked with packing down the bays last night. I decided to work in paint since there were people already working in the other departments. It was the end of the night and I was fixing all the upstock back into the overhead when I hear my loud ass coworker in the next aisle belting a Christmas song. It's still November and knowing the rest of the team's thoughts on Christmas, do you really think any of us wanna hear you belting "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"? Sing what you want, of course, but keep it down. I've had just about enough with her constantly being so loud so I turned on my phone, put on some music and turned up the volume. Petty? Maybe. Passive aggressive? Perhaps, but ask me if I care. It was either that or I yell at her and I chose the option least likely to get me in trouble. Sue me.
Love,
Raven
A/N: If it hasn't already become clear, I've always turned to my grandmother for advice. I always regarded her as very wise and valued her insight, so it makes sense that even though she's long gone I would still be seeking her guidance.
Dear Ama,
How would you tell someone to shut it when they're being obnoxiously loud without being too rude and getting into trouble? You see, I have this coworker who's constantly talking louder than is necessary. I like to read during my breaks at work but it's hard to do so when she's talking like she's yelling across and entire football stadium. And I don't have a car nor is there anywhere else I can go where I can sit and read.
I'm not the only one who has an issue with her volume. I've had multiple coworkers roll their eyes and look annoyed whenever she "talks". A, now former, coworker of mine would even go sit out in his car every break because of her. I also wouldn't be surprised if two other employees quit because they couldn't study for their college classes due to her rudeness.
There's been many times I wanted to slam my book and down and tell her off being so unnecessarily loud, but I don't want to get in trouble. I came close to doing so today but I bit my tongue. With the way economy is now, I can't afford to lose my job. If my old boss were still working there he wouldn't care, in fact he'd be very understanding, but he was fired almost two months ago because the higher ups are going on major power trips.
Please, tell me how I can tell this grown woman who should know better to lower her voice without getting in trouble at work! This has been going on for far too long and I know other's would agree. I really don't want to lose my temper, Ama, but it's getting to that point. I could really use your guidance and strength.
With love,
Raven
A/N: I've taken it upon myself to get back into writing in my diary when I have nothing to update my passed loved ones on. My therapist has been hounding me to it since I started seeing them, but I never had the time. I ultimately decided to start writing while I'm live on Reality.
Dear diary,
This month has surely been something. We've lost 3 people so far this month and our workload doesn't seem to be getting lighter even though the busy season is over. We don't have trucks for the next two days but instead of working on bays we'll be working on the massive amount of pushback we've already managed to acquire even though the week's just started.
I've managed to get back to my Reality lives and posting on Lemon8 but I haven't gotten back to posting on Instagram. I just barely started feeling better after being sick for two weeks, but I still have low energy. I'll need to come up with new makeup looks but I'm hoping to get back to posting on Instagram next month.
In other news, my husband's gotten us a car from one of his coworkers! He started a new job last month and it seems his coworkers have taken a huge shine to him. I'm not surprised, my husband is a very outgoing man. One of his coworkers gave him a bunch of food some weeks ago and now another has sold him their old car. It needed a new battery but now it runs really well. Having this care will definitely make getting groceries and going out a lot easier.
Speaking of "going out", my husband took me out to this Cajun seafood place that's not too far from where we live. We split a seafood broil between the two of us and it was actually really good, except for one thing. My husband found a PREGNANT crawfish in our broil! I was in such shock and almost cried when I saw the eggs still in the mother. And I know they boil the crawfish alive but that doesn't make my heart break any less for those poor, unborn babies! On another note, I also got to try beignets for the first time! They were so fluffy and so good! I'm so happy I finally got to try them after years of wanting to!
I definitely want to go back for mine and my husband's wedding anniversary next year. Hopefully, next time we won't have any pregnant sea creatures in the food.
A/N: My elder brother passed away back in 2006, long before Nintendo came out with the Switch, so I felt I had to explain somewhat what it is in this letter.
Dear Nono,
I fear I may have committed a grave sin against the gaming community over the weekend or, at least, attempted to.
You see, Nintendo came out with a handheld gaming device called the Switch some years ago. While they are great there is one major con: the joysticks suck! And I know that can be true for any gaming device that has joysticks, but I have never had joysticks drift this bad! Right now it's just the left joystick but it's still annoying.
Anyway, I was trying to play a game on Saturday but the joystick kept drifting and messing me up in my game. It got to the point where I wanted to pop the joycon out, yes the controls are removable, and smash it in a fit of rage. When I was trying to pop it out, it decided to spring out and fly off to gods know where. I managed to find it today but it was gone all weekend. Honestly, I just need to get a new pair of joycons so I, hopefully, won't have this problem again. The thing that worries me is having to transfer the Hello Kitty sticker thing that covers them to a new pair. The description under the listing said they were easily transferable but who knows how true that is and they've been on my Switch for about as long as I've had it.
Why do joysticks suck so much?!
Love,
Raven
A/N: This entry was written on the 5th but my sickness kept me from writing it. My grandmother was an amazing cook before the dementia basically killed her.
Dear Ama:
At work today somebody brought in food that smelled just like the burritos you used to make. You know? The ones you made with ground turkey, onion, bell pepper and potato? I want to make some this weekend for me and my husband. I hope I can do them justice. I remember those burritos being so good.
Anyway, Ama, I could use your help. My husband is terribly sick. He fainted on his way to work last night and ended up in the hospital. He's home now and the doctors said he has a viral infection, but they don't know what it is. I want to help him but I don't know what to do. How do you heal someone when you don't know what's wrong with them? I could really use your guidance, Ama.
Love and miss you always,
Raven
A/N: This letter was written the same day as the letter to my grandmother. I meant to post it the next day but, unfortunately, I got really sick. Nono is my nickname for my elder brother which is based off his other nickname.
Dear Nono,
Yesterday was Dia de los Muertos, did you enjoy your visit? How are you? How is the afterlife? Have you been taking care of Ama? I know it's been over 19 years since you've passed but your death was just so untimely. You were only 16 for gods' sakes, and on track to graduate high school! And the cause of your death is just awful! No one should die in such a manner. I do miss you, dearly.
I think it would please you to know that you are now the uncle to a cat, ferret and lizard. I know you've already met your animal niblings that have crossed over. How are my babies? Are they being well taken care of? Are they bringing you as much joy as they brought us? I miss them terribly but it warms my heart to know they are not alone.
You are also the step-uncle of 3 young boys and a young girl. I ended up marrying a man that has a son. His sister and brother in law have the other 3 kids. He's an amazing father to his son and I think you would've like to known him. He likes anime and enjoys art. Maybe you could have spoken about your favorite shows or share your artwork with each other. I would've loved for you guys to meet.
I hope the afterlife has been treating you well. And I hope you were able to greet Ama when she crossed over and that you two were able to catch up and do a lot of things together. I miss you so much, Nono.
Your sister,
Raven
A/N: The Mexican holiday of Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) was yesterday. I've taken it upon myself to begin writing letters to my deceased loved ones. Namely, my grandmother and elder brother. Ama is nickname I gave my grandmother. She passed in 2019 but I still miss her dearly. Another thing to note is that an ofrenda is an altar that is set up specifically for Dia de los Muertos where we leave offerings for our loved ones to have when they cross over.
Dear Ama,
It's the last night of Dia de los Muertos celebrations. I'm sorry I couldn't put up an ofrenda, but we recently got a cat and she runs around like crazy. I didn't want her to pull down the ofrenda and get hurt or make a mess. By the way, my cat's name is Ghost. My husband found her back in August. She was so dirty and skinny, I don't know how she was still alive. Now she's a gorgeous and plump cat, and she's so full of life. She's a little cuddle bug, too.
And, yes, I did get married. Last year just a couple weeks before my birthday, in fact. Would you have agreed with my choice of husband? Probably not but I think given some time you would've grown to love him. He's loving and caring and enjoys cooking. He's also an amazing father to his young son. He's probably the only non-Latino that can make chorizo without burning it.
Anyway, I ended up graduating high school back in 2020. It was difficult because everything was shut down due to a global pandemic. The only people working were those in "essential" industries (food, transportation, medical, etc.). Even though they were deemed essential, they still had to work with skeleton crews to lessen the spread of the disease. While I do miss you dearly, Ama, I am fortunate that you didn't have to live through the pandemic. If your pre-existing medical conditions hadn't taken you from us, the Coronavirus would have and I wouldn't have been able to bear to see you suffer such a fate.
I've tried going to college but ended up dropping out. I know that's not something you would've liked to hear since you always wanted us to live good lives and not have to struggle. And I know you would've wanted me to continue with my studies since I was studying to become a medical assistant, but the medical field just isn't for me. All the sick and dying men, women and children. The grieving families. I am just not built for that. I also don't think I would enjoy ending every shift covered in various bodily fluids.
I am considering going back to school for business, I'm just not sure which business I would like to open. I am in between two ideas: bakery/cafe or a salon (tanning, hair, nails and makeup). I just don't know which I should open. I love baking. I find it very calming and it reminds me of all the times we used to bake together when I was younger. On the other hand, I love doing my hair, nails and makeup. I enjoy experimenting with my look. And having a tanning salon would be wonderful, especially since I live in Utah. These Utah winters are so harsh they absolutely drain my color. Oh, Ama, what should I choose? Perhaps, you could send me a sign? I've always valued your important on these matters.
I do hope you enjoyed your visit and I hope you return next year. I will keep you updated on the goings on here in the living world. I do miss and love you, Ama.
Love,
Raven
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