bitter sweet,dark temptations,they creep up torment and consume me in the night as i lay awake in my bed long past the hours of sleep deprivation. This insomniatic nightmare I live in never ends, only once I crash from the exhaustion this depression heaps upon me,and sink into a deep sleep,I live the dreams I wish so badly to be a reality,they play like a movie in my head.
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So on the account of this nightmare I have dreamt night after night in warning to the end of me, I salute yee darkness to let my dream world go. Release thines hardest catch of the night and start yourself someplace new. I do not know where touts commeth from but yee take me over like a hellish ghoul!
With thout not allow me my own mind? My serenity in myself where the sun doth shine like the brightest of heavens stars. For tell me, two talking friend and help me come to understand thy meaning for this nightly torture. Am I no longer thines world? Did my icy kiss melt thine rosey lips into nothing but a dream? I ask myself each morning, did I ever think tomorrow this would be my world? Questions, questions, so so many questions...do I deserve a truthful answer? Well, why not?
Tell me dark shadow, the beast of my dreams, or nightmares rather...do thoust heart no longer beat to the flowing of the love we once shared for this world? The smile I once allowed myself to bare...its gone, I can no longer see the world through the eyes of the one I love. All I see is this monster. That monster who destroys my dreams and fills them with hell, and follows me into the day, refusing to let reality be something better than my dreams...Iv so recently come to find that hellish monster, it is me.
I destroy what I love the most just at the thought of looking for an escape. I hold so tightly to the colors, but now I am blind. Its dark, lonesom, and oh so very silent on my own. Waking up from a nightmare only to see I have just opened my eyes to another...I just can’t bare it any longer.
Forgive me for the wrong doings I have cast among the people of this world who I do so truly love. Please, remember the real me and not the monster I now face in the mirror each day. know that I love you truly, whole heartedly,I do my friends! Im off now, I am going to sleep, in my dreams I will venture out past the darkness and look to find myself as I was once known before I let myself go.
When I return from my journey of self discovery I hope you, my love, will be waiting for me on the other side. when I wake up, open my eyes to see the world...I can only hope and pray that on that day, the colors of our world that have grown so dark now, return to my sight and give me a better outlook on this place we call our home, and once more...we will share each other’s eyes, hearts, and love of all that is good. And this time I promise on my only honor I have left, my heart...that I will never hurt you again.
In the best of ways, I would like to say you have tought me to love. On the other hand, Id say you helped me see past the fake deceitful so called love in the world. This place is full of it. No one really knows what it is anymore. But I know, you know, and soon together, we shall both have what we both know is worth dying for. Im going to bring it back. I have died to live another day, beyond the nine life’s of a feline friend. A survivor? No, I am pushed by the will to see you another day.
This is for you; my love...the darkness that pushed us apart is that of another relm. No more will I let it blind me. A change is to come, one noticeable enough for the world to acknowledge. Please, let me take this time to make it. I'll show you once I have returned. I can do this, all the wile through these battles to come I will have your memory in my mind, our love in my heart, and your wisdom to guide me to do the right thing. I won't be long. Promise to see you soon...I love you, more than the air that keeps my heart from silencing, and the light that helps me find my way in the darkness. You’ll see. I can do this. I hope one day I make you proud, and have the privilege to see you smile at me like you used to, before I lost myself...
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This is information to shed the light on vampires.
-A vampire will be silent when they walk (clothes may make noise).
-Every vampire will have the syle of eyes described: A vampires eyes are something amazing...they are a different color around the pupil than the rest of the eye and there is a black ring around thee iris. their eyes are something dazling and they are,in my ...opinion,their greatest weapon. they are ment to draw in victoms,though they dont kill. if you look at a vampire they will automatically look at you,even if your just scanning the room. when you look into their eyes your vision may feel blurrd and a sence will come over you,drawing you closer,peaking your curiosity. its facinating.
-Greater natural kinesis(energy control(Telekinesis is controlling kinetic energy), voyance, and pre-recogniton abilities.
-We feel older than we are.
-We don't feel well in sunlight.
The best way to tell if you're a vampire:
If you're pale, you can have medium rare steak. If your skin turns a pinkish color then you are definately a vampire, if that work go outside and enjoy the sun.
-Taste buds are more sensitive.
-Emotions have greater effect on people closest in age and closer emotionally. Can predict what they think and what they do and can influence.
-Our heartbeats adjust to make a human feel comfortable.
-The gaze is to lure in prey, even though we don't kill.
-We choose who we are social with based on how the person smells.
Common Traits:
1: Can be prone to migraines and various allergies
2: Thirst/blood craving [not associated with fetish..]You become ill, irratble and weak if you don't satisfy it
3: Aversion to bright lights/sunlight though most have excellent night vision
4: Heightened senses, such as hearing and smell, heavily perfumed things are offensive
5: You burn very quicky in the sun
6: You will have to rely on others [donors] for you health and sanity
7: If psi you will have to deal with all the emotions involved and be able to cope
8: Often extreme and over emotional, some also suffering various forms of depression
9: A tendancy to be drawn to anything vampire related and a general sympathy for them
[Awakening]
Awakening is the term commonly used to describe the coming into or realisation of the vampiric state.
Typically, the process begins around puberty, though can occur later, making an already confusing time even more so as you try to struggle with all that naturally occurs then, and the added feeling that something is 'missing' you are 'incomplete', You want something but you don't know what it is, you can stuff yourself and feel totally empty and unsatisfied. It's instinctive you just know your different.
Some may also find that that the way they think becomes more aggressive and predatory, extreme mood swings and depression affect the majority, noise, smells, light can become overwhelming (see 'so you want to be a vampire' for further experienced vampiric traits) Here's where you have the confusion, these mood swings, finding yourself with
greater strength [especially for the guys!] insommnia etc, can be quite normal with all the hormonal changes of puberty and not absolute pointers to vampirisim. Bear in mind also that every individuals experience will differ and not all 'symptoms' will apply, there are no established patterns or definates when dealing with the vampiric.
[Tips and Safety For Blood Doners/Consumers]
Before you enter into a donor/vamp relationship be very sure all parties are aware of what this entails:
Make sure all donors have a CBC [complete blood count] and general health check to elininate any risks such as anemia, any blood clotting problems [not something you want to discover too late..] and any blood bourne diseases. Make sure they have been tested for things like Aids and Hepatitis. Ensure your donor is relaxed and any razor or blade is thoroughly clean and sterile, either boiled or from an airtight sealed package. Try to use fleshy areas, less painfull, such as the large fleshy pad under the thumb, just above the shoulder blades, or the thigh area etc.
Clean the area with a antiseptic or alcohol wipe, and make an incision, not too deep and preferably away from any veins. you may need to ask them to tense and untense their muscles to allow blood flow. I find it best to lap/suck lightly rather than sucking extremely hard as it can cause bruising of the wound.
Aftercare of the wound is very important, it should be cleaned, again with alcohol or antiseptic and a plaster applied with firm pressure being sure that any bleeding has stopped.
This whole process can be quite intimate, and a huge bond can form, be aware of this and spend some *normal* time with your donor now and again and make them feel as important as they really are
For those who may have to rely on animal blood occasionally, for health reasons I would reccommend using beef blood rather than pigs blood due to the parasites pigs blood is more apt to carry such as ascarids [white worms] red stomach worms and whip worms.
An important addition from long time forum member and co admin "Mischa"
"On top of the above I have a few points to add: *The donor must be over 18 *If you are not experienced then let the donor know this and let them make the cuts. Where I live you can be charged with assault even if they let you cut them (comes under our domestic violence laws) so in my case I always have to get the donor to make the cuts. *Some people prefer to use lancets instead of razors. For the first time (especially if both you and the donor are new to this) lancets are a good idea as you are less likely to do any major damage.
*Make sure your donor is not ill at the time (cold, flu etc.) also check if they are on any medication as it may have an adverse effect on you."
*If you don't believe then thats your choice, I just ask of you all to please be open minded and not become another robot to the modern pop culture of today. think outside the coffin. lol. thats right, there is sence on humor here, vampires arn't all doom and gloom ladies and gents.
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