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Head is spinning

a rollercoaster

and you are the thoughts

that fuel the engine.



I cant seem to get over

what you have done

to my soul

it is broken and tattered.



God cant be real

not in this hell,

I accept the truth,

that you were never really there.

Is it my true thoughts,

or is it the whiskey talking?

Do I truly believe in this,

or is it a drunken stupor?



I can't decide,

on what I want,

I make corrupted choices,

which can only end in heartbreak.



She crosses my mind,

all day long.

But she is not what I want,

only a desire.



I love what is wrong,

and I throw away what I have.

I must fear change,

but why don't I change fear?