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For anybody who is about to read this, i apologise in advance, for this may sound terribly depressing...... but I feel I have to write it somewhere..................



I care again........ a certain female, whom shall, as always, remain nameless, has found her way into my heart........ and is killing me........ Is it really so wrong to care about a friend?? Or is that just in my world?? Because I know I do not stand a chance with her........... or any lass/lad for that matter..............



Nothing at the moment would please me more than to end my pathetic existance, so im writing this in the hope of it helping me to vent and make me feel a little better............



So if you ARE reading this....... and know of any ways I can actually manage to forget about love, PLEASE tell me, everytime I care about someone, im permanantly depressed untill I actually say something, get rejected, and then get even worse..........



At the moment nothing seems to be able to make me smile........... Im just sooooo SICK of how everything revolves around how you look!!



Would counseling help?? But I dont think I can get it...... because I dont want my parents finding out im a complete reject, up to this time, I have just told them im concentrating on my studies, all because im afraid (yes ME afraid) of their reaction to me telling them the truth, that im an ugly twat who cannot even get a female to say "hi" back without throwing up, or rejecting me outright......................



Anyways I do feel a LITTLE better now I have vented, thank you for reading this....... assuming you didnt get bored at the first paragraph :-P



-Jonny