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I can NOT believe how badly I just fucked up. As you may now from my poetry, I used to be a "cutter". I had started cutting my arm in eighth grade because I'd been fighting with my mom a lot, and she would just act like nothing happened and forget all about it, while it was burned into my school, and locked inside. I finally was overwhelmed with all of the emotions and so I cut "KILL ME" into my arm. After that I would cut every time I got depressed, which was a lot. I would never cut my wrists, only the top of my arm, because I wasn't looking to kill myself, just to relieve the stress. I didn't care for the pain, that didn't help anything, but when I saw the blood, it would relax me and it would make me forget about everything. I continued cutting all through eighth grade, and almost all through ninth. I'm now in tenth grade and before today, I hadn't cut myself since last April. In April I had started smoking weed and it made my depression nearly vanish. I was able to stop cutting and be fine, but lately I haven't been able to get any money, so I haven't been able to smoke, which is making my depression come back. As you might expect, my mom totally flips out on me today because I didn't do the dishes. Stupid right? Well she overreacts and threatens me and such so I lock myself in my bedroom. This is where the stupid in me happens. I grab my razor and cut my wrist, which is much worse then my previous habits, because I've never cut anywhere near veins. And now about an hour has passed and I am regretting having overreacted so much. When my depression kicks in I don't even think and I do stupid things. Now I'm going to have even more scars, and I'm going to have to hide even more skin. This is not a good day.