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I guess my mood has improved. I'm still awake and that brings possibilities. I can't go on this way. I feel like the walking dead (A fucking zombie) There is no quick fix for anything anymore. I have been trying to quit at living but I'm not willing to end my life.... what's left? I can't stand my miserable existence any longer. If I don't open my mind and change this will continue. Funny I always thought of myself as an open minded person and the older I get the less willing I am to change. My ways have brought a lot of strife and suffering. Some of my behaviours are no longer necessary. I can let go. I can choose who I want to trust who I let near me and who to love. I now can trust my judgment to actually keep myself safe. I am in charge.

Another day, up all fucking night!!! Maybe there is some ring of truth in their diagnosis Bi-Polar/Manic Depression+Addict+Panic Disorder+ Personality Disorder ridden. FUCK THEM ALL!!!

That's just how I feel today. I want to scream. My head is throbbing mildly... Not enough to hurt but enough to really annoy me. I am to tired to do anything physical yet to awake to sleep(BLAH-BLAH-BLAH) Now I am annoying myself.





Hello-Hello-Hello

Is there there anybody out there?



Pink Floyd

Comfortably Numb