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This is to let all know that what they tried to do it did not work..For cat and i became friends and sisters, she is awesome and alot like me..She does have a friend in me for life and i will help her anyway i can..AS FOR THOSE TWO AND YEAH ONCE AGAIN I AM NOT USING NAMES BUT CAT KNOWS THIS TIME WHO I SPEAK OF..YOUR LIL TWOFACED GAMES DID NOT WORK, IN FACT IT BROUGHT 2 LOST SOULS TOGETHER..THANKS BUT ONE THING..HELL ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE LIKES OF YOU TWO..CAT, i love you and i am glad we worked things out..

Just a few random thoughts running through my mind but i do have to remember to name names or else i may be talking about someone else's man..god forbid..I met this One named SHANE, GOT IT? He is Satanist but the sweetest kindest Man i have met unlike some of the ones i have been meeting , girls too..Shane is awesome and i enjoy Him very much..There is One here who i wont say real name but will say Durain, whom i love and adore very much, i will kill for Him so be warned..He is my bestest Friend as well as CryingDutchess..I said shit to Both that I shouldnt have and I am truly sorry..I hope they both can forgive me..Seems i lost another friend because of the shit being said about me on here, i wish her the very best and will miss her.. I have more to say but will shut up for now...

All the entries i wrote about, the one from my past is back, the loving you and not happy for he is gone..THESE WERE WROTE FOR SATANSWARRIOR AKA JAY AND MY MASTER GABRIEL FROM YAHOO..NO WAY IN HELL WAS IT FOR ANYONE ELSE ON HERE EXCEPT JAY...HE DECIDED TO BE WITH ANOTHER LILY...BUT I DID AND WILL CONTINUE DOING SO, BEING HIS FRIEND..I LOVE JAY AND DOESNT CARE WHO KNOWS..HE IS MY VERY BEST FRIEND..CAT, REASON I DO NOT MENTION NAMES IS CALLED RESPECT..I AM THROUGH WITH THIS..I USE MY BLOCK BUTTON NOW..I HAVE HELL PREACHER NOW PLUS SATANSWARRIOR AND MY MASTER GABRIEL, THESE 3 ARE THE ONES WHO MATTER..OH YEAH PLUS MY GIRL'S DUTCHESS AND WILD, VAMPY ONE..LUV YOU GUY'S

For one thing cat i did not write an entry about domino, what i wrote about loving is SatansWarrior and my Master Gabriel..i do not deny anything but that..i did not like domino like that and why write about me, using my name..thanks, yes i thought of you as a friend but you never said nothing to me..i ask you to please take that off slandering me..i have respect not to use names like you did me..thank you alot..i wish you luck and happy your mom is better..i am sorry if you believed the worse of me but so be it..i didnt come here for trouble and now I WANT TO SAY THAT AFTER THIS AND THE JOURNAL YOU, UA AND WHOEVER ELSE IS BLOCKED..LEAVE ME ALONE AND I WILL DO THE SAME

This is the last fucking straw, no more miss sweet innocent vampire winter..i am so fucking tired of being accused of bullshit that isnt true nor would i fucking want them to..i never liked playing dominos anyways nor like female cats..but you know i dont give a fuck no more..fuck it, this is about me, winter and pleasing me so fuck whoever dont like it..Also if you wish to talk to me you know how to get ahold of me, let me say this , doesnt mean my Coven Family Either..They have no part in the way i am feeling so...everyone will or will not like the new winter but shrugs...

Last night i got the chance to talk to my Master Gabriel, the One who left me one night 16 months ago..i love Him still and never stopped, about 2 weeks ago, He came back in my life but i never talked with Him til last night..W/we were and will be always T/together..no matter what i tell myself He will always be the One who owns me..The One who will always be in my life, the One who i belong too..There is one here at VR whom i love and honor , my bestest fiend, He knows who He is..i will always love Him and be there for Him, but i need to face the truth..Gabriel is the One who owns my soul..winter is very much takened so that means to me that i only want friends, except the One who is more than my friend..

the past 2 days i have been numb feeling inside, not sure of what the coming days will bring chilly..this time she isnt in control of events happening and that scares the hell out of me.. the Love of my life is going through diffcuilties in real life as well..but i know We will both overcome what lays in out path..He knows i am right there by His side as i know He is right here by mine..We just arent together as We should be..i love You Baby so much and i want to thank You..will write more when i find out wtf is going on..thank you to All who is my friend and worries..

wow this has been a good day for me and i am happy for that..several things happened but i know my Love loves me as i do Him..also met One who kinda freaks me out in a good way, kinda school girl way with her first crush..Laughs, will see what happens..

Why does life have to be so complicated? Why do ppl have to be complicated as well? He knows He owns my heart and my soul and that i love Him with all i am..I had one tell me earlier that i need to quit being who and what i am, to get the demons out of me, to quit listening to the music i do..My answer was, i will always be who and what i am and nothing can ever change that, it is my choice on who to love, what to listen to, noOne has twisted my arm nor would i let them..i may be submissive but i do have a voice, i do have a mind and i will choose who to love, well i cant really choose who my heart wants to love, but i can choose what music i listen to..The One who owns my heart and soul will always come first in my online life and as well as my real life, He knows i am always gonna be here for Him, maybe i am trying to hard, that is what is pushing Him away from me, maybe it is really the age thing that is His problem but yet He swears it isnt..This is one reason why i listen to Type O Negative, i can relate to Their words..Besides Peter Steele is HOT!!!! Guess i have babbled enough..til laters

that is the biggest laugh i have had today..why is it ppl assume onething when it really isnt that wasnt the deal at all..oh well some ppl think that everyone wants them..i have the love of my life and i am sure everyone knows who it is..Also i have my Darkling, Fangs79 so all i want from here is FRIENDSHIP.. From now on i will be cordial but that is it, doesnt wish to let anyone think i want more..besides i thought i got away from drama when i left yahoo..boy was i ever wrong..i am just gonna be me but a lil more frosty around the edges..i always get fucked even when i wish to be friends only, flirt, tease..oh well

Today was a good day..Was ask to join The Coven of Stone Guardians, i was accepted so Yay me!!..Also MistressMoonlight wrote a poem in honor of winter called Chained, was beautiful and winter is honored..Thank You Mistress Moonlight^.^ plus love is a very good thing..More Later..Peace, chilly



Also this week i was made a premie member so yay it is a good week^.^..has made changes on my profile, updating it..still isnt through but to me it is better..laughs

Guess i will always be wandering alone, searching for answers to questions i have had, several ppl said they would help me but it seems they were not honest..i am use to that though, the oh i care and will help you but yet same ole shit..nothing changes..has thought about leaving the net for awhile but cant leave my VR F/family, well least the O/one's who really do care..so i have left yahoo, all except messenger..really kinda sucks not being loved nor wanted but i say once again i am use to that..why is when i need to write and express my feelings, i cry? no-one hears my cries for help or if they do, they chose to ignore them.. isnt looking for pity, just someOne to truly love and want me for me and what i know i can do..oh well i keep telling myself it is their loss but i cant help but feel that it is mine..so if i seem quirky sometimes it is just me..i am bi-polar with psychotic features, so i do get out of whack sometimes..just bare with me and i will be fine..so good to be able to talk to your-self and yeah answer..laughs

Damn how i hate days like this..The not knowing whats going on or when something will happen..But i do know one thing and that is i am not gonna beg anyOne to be with me, They either want me or They dont..Makes no difference to me at all..Well i kinda lied there, there is ummm a few that i care about and well anyways, i still aint gonna beg Them to be with me..*SHRUGS* i have been a loner all my life so i guess the rest too, except my peeps on here..anyways i guess i will shut up before i say way to much..Wicked, Dark, Wild and Sexy Hump Day All..

i knew this happiness wouldnt last but did not realize it would only last an hour..how fucking stupid am i? Love does that to you and i do love Him..He is my SoulMate..He knows i am here as His friend always..*cries softly* needs to go before i made more of a fool out of myself..i love You my One..

Wow, just got the best news i wished for..*smiles really big*..What i have waited a week to hear, finally out of the blue i heard..Not sure of the reason why He told me but i am happy..i was His friend and never thought about not being, was up to Him on that anways..YAY!!!!!!! one happy vampire bitch here, who is alil confused on the Gabriel part though..It will be all good

Today i got a shock of my life, One who was dead to me came back in my yahoo life..The One i was crazy about, the One who lives in Holland who left me one night saying He loved me and will see me later..That has been over a year since that happened, today He showed up..Hasnt talked with Him, not sure i will..oh hell i am lying i know i will just not when...i am excited, upset, mad..So many emotions running through me right now, even though Gabriel hurt me bad, and by S/some He played me, well He is the best PLAYER that i have ran across on yahoo..didnt matter to me..things are different now, is no longer selena..i am winter now..Time will tell what His presence brings..