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6 entries this month
I hate you.
04:00 May 26 2008
Times Read: 633
I hate you, I hate you more than ever now.
You and your fucking life, can go to hell.
Give me what I need, and their will be no need for threats.
Why did you have to be my mother?
I want another.
I want to die because of you and father.
Shoot me now, and maybe I'll finally smile.
I want to get away from here, sell me. do all you can do.
I hate you mother, I hate you and my father.
Go die, or I will for you.
I hate you more than ever, I want to see your blood,
I promise I won't shiver.
I hate you father and all that you have caused.
but not as much as mother.
I hate you both with all my heart.
When will we have that supposed talk?
Or did we already, when you screamed at me?
When you wouldn't leave?
When I walked out, and you kicked me to my knees?
Maybe I'll lye here awhile,
Because I know I wouldn't be able to move,
even if I wanted to.
Mother look at all this pain you have caused me.
But you still dis-believe.
You think this is a phase.
A phase that keeps progressing.
I've threatened to end your life more than once, and you still don't listen.
Father left me, why don't you?
Or have you already?
Mother I hate you, with words I cannot express.
I cut myself to wound your heart.
But the fucking thing won't die.
How many times do we have to fight, until something goes wrong?
When I die, before you?
Will that create the silence?
Yelling forgotten.
when the blood pours out of my aching wounds.
living to the extinction,
of what you and father have caused.
Will you continue living knowing your daughter has died of what you had created?
Continue breathing for the sake of your son?
Tell Father she died of and accident?
She bled to much from her wrist?
Live in sanity without the insane around?
Maybe your life will be better when I am no longer there.
We shall see, On the night I will discharge my beating heart.
and you eternal torture.
See you at the Gates.
When hell's bell's start ringing.
Happy Mother's Day.
01:23 May 19 2008
Times Read: 646
Mother you brought me into this world today
to fend for myself when it is time to leave
you brought me into a terror
a terror that I will not defeat
mother you brought my death to me
mother why did you do this?
why didn't you kill me then
to face my father and all the pain
you made me suffer
you made me bleed
I almost died when you came back to me
Mother don't you see
you are nothing, no more to me
I feel numb, for you
I feel nothing but the past you put me through
I still see what you have done
you disgust me, you made me the evil one
You made father hate me
you made me want to die
I want to die, with no love for you, I want to die with nothing of you
Mother why did you do this?
Why did you let me live?
You could of killed me, thats what I wanted
If you saw my future, while I was still in the womb
Would you of still gave birth, even though you knew, what you would put me through?
Mother I use to think of you as my everything
I use to love your husband
but now I feel nothing
I hate you both with all my heart
you shattered my soul, and murdered my trust
I have no more humanity
I play the role, of the perfect daughter, just so you'd be happy
but wait alitte farther, I have a surprise for you both
I will die in the hands of my own
I'll die before my time has come
I'll die knowing you caused me this
take back time, and set me free
I want salvation
I want to die with nothing, but numbness
I want to die in the arms of the one who I really loved
Mother all's I wanted to say is
Happy Mother's day
Therapy can go to hell.
01:22 May 19 2008
Times Read: 647
To save a life, is more than one can comprehend.
to live my life, is more than a dread.
To talk one on one, is a feeling that will never be felt
Leave me alone, lead my life down the drain.
Please don't help, I don't want your pity,
You think this is a phase, you think I like cutting everyday, it hurts me more than you.
I can't escape my past, to move forward to the future.
You have a fucked up daughter.
To see your son want to smoke, to see him want to drink, and follow others ways.
Has cracked your blood red heart.
But do you know, how much mine has fallen?
I can not tell you, because you will not understand.
The meaning of life is, nothing, I would ever want again.
I would not wish this upon my fallen angel.
I will not talk to them, if I wont even speak to you.
I'm sorry, but your daughter is now a monstrosity before you.
Suicide Plan.
01:21 May 19 2008
Times Read: 648
To live on the desire.
To live a desolated day.
To live though all your tormented pain.
To live on, when death calls your name.
To live when your heart starts acting strange.
To live when no one else cares.
To live these years, without being sane.
Maybe one day.
To die in comfort.
To die and not decay.
To die and end your suffering an pain.
To die without regret.
To die with many sins.
To die for salvation.
To die for everything.
Attempting suicide,
and the journey to hell.
Damnation awaits the very blow.
I'll die knowing the very thing, that lead me to this journey.
I'll die when I feel the time is right.
I'll die before my grandmother leaves.
I won't live in this endless eternity.
Now slumber in your deep sleep.
While I slice my wrists very deep,
and relieve my endless suffering.
What I believe.
01:21 May 19 2008
Times Read: 649
I walk down this lonely street,
wandering were our hearts will meet,
I walk alone between every branch.
I walk carring the very burden life gave while,
finding my past to hard to rid of.
My life upon my shoulders, are starting to weigh a ton.
Where will ends meet?
Or were they burned, to a shortened crisp,
To crawl trying to reach for all eternity?
When will the clock strike death, and end my very life?
Let my essence fly above my pain.
Leave my pain to Sheloh.
Renew the innocence I once possessed,
but no longer have.
When will the invisible grant my very wish?
When will I make the time, become one, with the day, and make all my troubles disarray?
When will the Montrosity end, and my feelings begin?
Am I a robotic species?
Living and breathing, but no longer seeing the beauty of what things hold,
I see death to all that live, death to all that breathe,
I no longer see beauty in the smallest of things.
My ends will never meet.
I will never cease to believe, Death was just ment to be free.
Rette Mich
01:20 May 19 2008
Times Read: 651
Rette Mich von diesem leben
Rette Mich aus dieser Schmerg
Rette Mich mein tot Gott
Rette Mich
Speichem Sie alle meine liebe
Nicht, lasst mich diesen Weg
Speichem meiner Mensch lichkeit
Speichem meiner geistige Gesundheit
Nicht ver lassen, mich auf meinen eigenen
Rette Mich vor dem Tod
Rette Michvon mir
Lass nicht zu, dass mich ver lassen
Bitte nicht mitnehmen meine einzige Rettung.
COMMENTS
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ThothLestat
14:50 May 26 2008
this. kicks. ass.
brittanie
18:27 Feb 24 2009
i love this one....