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Wow, um. The day's this week have been worse than the last week of them. It hurts to say it, but I wish my mom would just leave me alone and take all her troubles with her. She is so selfish and cruel. It's all just a big mess that I just wish would go away forever and ever and ever. She doesn't care about anyone but herself.



She tried to kill herself on May 18th, 2010. She popped about three fist full of different types of pills, then drank booze on top of it. Then she was rushed to the hospital, and her stomach was pumped and she was put on suicide watch.



While she was there, she declared that she had disowned Me as well as my younger sister, all because we were talking to our dad. If you have not read, they are getting a divorce. So that made us the bad guys to her. But I had been talking to him before and it was no problem? Yeah right.



If you have not read, I am pregnant with her grandson. So when she disowned me, she disowned her grandson, which she hasn't asked about since I moved out of that house. I am almost done being pregnant, and she does this to us? That's great.



Then my older sister doesn't even have the balls to call me and tell me that our mom nearly died. It was my Aunt Teri that did that. She isn't even my true blood aunt, and yet she had the respect to call and tell me all this.



And on top of all this, my mom is refusing to get help for what she did. She just wants to go home and drink and smoke and shit like that. Teri tried to get her some help, but you can't help those who don't want the help.



I just wish that I never came here, that I was still in Nebraska with Matt, because it felt so much more like home to me than here. I can say though that what makes us stay now is my new family.



Love you all lots!!!! You know who you are.

COMMENTS

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CelestiaLaura202
05:42 May 22 2010

I am sorry for you troubles, I will keep you in my prayers and meditations.

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smokey1234
02:53 May 26 2010

i will keep you in my prayers

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POST COMMENT

I am really hurt. My mom has not called or texted, or even breathed my way since April. She was supposed to be there for me, since I'm pregnant and all. It confuses me, I mean, what did I do? I haven't done anything wrong. Well, I wouldn't give her everything she wanted while I was there. I refuse to pay for her drinking and smoking habits. I just won't do it. I have a baby on the way.



But it feels like she ripped out my heart and put it in a box, then tossed it around and around till it ripped itself apart. Then she put me in the deepest darkest waters, and I can't breathe, not matter how hard I try to resurface, she holds my head under. Sorrow like this sucks....



Then Again, my dad has not talked to me since then either.....Or any of my siblings....I feel like my blood family has left me behind....And I guess they have....For the most part I am floating away with the tide....So very alone where they are concerned....





If it wasn't for a certain group of people, I would feel so lost and alone constantly. Thanks to those who have listened and love me for who I am. Who have helped me so very much to make me feel like part of a family. Love you lots guys!!!



-Matt-

-Abbie-

-Tony-

-Bradley-

-George-

-Johnathon-

-David-

-and others that just talk to me like you care-

Life is funny sometimes. The way it works out is harsh and cruel. I'm pregnant, and my mother has decided she is too busy to even talk to me and find out how her grandchild is doing. It hurts, cause the whole reason we, that is, Matt and I came back to Washington was so that they could apart of the baby's life. Yeah right.



The first few weeks we were back they put up a good front. Then after that my parents had a huge fight and my mom decided she wanted a divorce. Afterwards she completely changed and was all about me me me. I didn't mind her finding herself and getting confidence and everything. I was happy about that. But she now is too busy to even talk to me over the phone... About anything apparently. The first doctors appointment I had about the baby, she decided she would be too bored sitting with Matt and I, so she wanted to be dropped off downtown, and then she didn't even bother to call about it later....



Then she lies to us about my brother getting out. She cares more about everyone else that's ever hurt her in the past and she turned her back on me and Matt and our child. She's not talking to me at all now.... She made me cry when she said she was too busy, and that she would call me later. And no calls yet.



And then my youngest sister decides that she was going to fight with me about the stuff her asshole of a husband broke. The stuff she borrowed. I didn't ask her to pay for the stuff right away, I just wanted her to admit that it was her responsibility that it was broke. She said that she was more worried about her and her child's safety to get my stuff. Well that's all good, but then she's back with the same asshole she feared for her safety and her child's safety. She can't even tell him that she's carrying his child, cause she's pregnant again, but she was with another guy when she found out. And now she don't know who it's father is.



So, I'm not talking to Mary or my mom, and in addition, Eller, cause she's living over there with mom. Or not talking to my brother, cause she probably said some shit about me for him not to talk to me. I feel like crying right now. I can't even send him a letter without worrying if mom will get to it first, or if he'll read it at all.



My dad isn't nearly as bad, but he hasn't called either. He says he cares, then he's always talking shit about the people around him. Including me when he's not around me. I cried the first time he visited me and Matt. He kept talking shit about my mom and other stuff. It hurts quite a bit when it's family...



I know other people have it worse off than me out there, but damn. When it's family it hurts more. And I can't figure out why they do this to me....I haven't done anything wrong. And neither has Little Scotty, the baby in my tummy....