Recently my sister posted on Facebook that she lied to everyone in our family when she said my nephew was getting better,she knew all along he was going to die, and sadly I knew it too,the last time I saw my Nephew Kennard,he was sitting in his wheelchair in my apartment living room and he was gasping for breathe so my sister had to take him home. After they left I told my mom that he didn't have much time left and I wish I would have been wrong........he called my mom later that night and told her he loved her and my step dad and that he loved me too, I was asleep so I didn't get to talk to him and he past away two days later. I miss him very much and there will always be a hole in my heart and a void in my life,I have his baby pictures on my wall and I just sit and look at them and cry...... I'll try to finish this tomorrow in my next journal entry if I have the strength or the mental capacity to do so.
My Nephew Kennard was a great kid, he was 14 years old when he past away, I thought he was 13. He would have been 15 years old last month, I miss him dearly.....Kennard was just an average 14 year old,he wanted to play football in school,he was an avid video game player,he was a tipical teenager,then his leg swelled up and when my sister took him to the Doctor they said he had a tumor in his leg caused by a form of leg cancer. So my sister took him to children's hospital in Dallas Texas for medical attention and while he was there they gave him the the hpv vaccine and after he got the vaccine his cancer got worse,it started to spread and it finally got to his lungs and that's what killed him,he drowned from the fluid on his lungs,that was the cause of death on the autopsy report. I watched as a person I loved deteriated from kemo therapy and not being able to breathe,he went from being full of life to being very quiet and he quit smiling. Seeing him in his casket destroyed me,it took all of my strength and will power not to start screaming and crying when I saw him. I haven't had a day since then that I haven't broken down into tears.........I'll finish this in my next entry I just can't continue on anymore at this time...
I know I said I wouldn't write another journal entry but I'm tired of holding everything in,I won't write it tonight because I'm drained of energy but over the next few days I'll write three new journal entries,this will be my own way of saying goodbye and finally letting go of my dead nephew. I don't think I'll ever recover from his death but I must let go and give him the peace in death his soul and spirit deserves. I'll finish this tomorrow.......
This will be my last journal entry for a good while,the loss of my Nephew Kennard has taken a huge toll on me, plus VR is deader than a a Thanksgiving turkey. I'll get on from time to time to upkeep my profile but I'm done writing on here for a while. It's been a good run but I'm just in another place and writing just isn't helping to clear my head anymore.
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