What's up VR,new journal entry. As I said in a old journal entry I'm on numerous dating sites and I just added two new sites to my ever growing list of dating sites I belong to,and some of the messages I get from woman on these sites just blow my mind. Some of them ask me questions about self esteem,first off I'm not a confident person, I have no self confidence what so ever. I have ADHD type 2 which makes it kinda hard to open up to people and I'm in the worst shape of my life. For those few women to ask me for advice is a bad idea, I have low self esteem and I hate myself so I'm not the right person get advice from. The only advice I can give anyone is all you need to be you is you, and if other people don't like you for you then fuck'em, be confident in yourself and your potential, you only get one shot at life so make the best of it. I'm starting to gain confidence in myself and I'm finally starting to feel good in my own skin and I'm taking the steps to better my self, no I don't have all the answers and I really don't want to,but all I can say is be the best you you can be and fuck the rest of the world.
Shit, just had a call from a mental health place where I live called access. They wanted to update my paperwork,asked if I was any better than I was as if my depression just up and left. I have some good days but most days I'm very depressed,I think about suicide every day and the medication they gave me is helping a little but I think my body is getting so used to the pills that they're not having much effect anymore. I'm going to try and make some changes in the upcoming month, I'm trying to lose some more weight, my goal is 158 pounds and I'm letting my hair and beard grow out so I can put them in viking braids. I'm making the effort to change my life and I hope it works.
What's up VR,I've been trying to keep myself busy so I'm not on here writing journal entry after journal entry and it's worked for one whole month. Nothing's really changed in my life except now I'm taking high blood pressure pills,my cardiovascular doctor said that my blood pressure was a little high the last two times I visited his office. And I'm kinda happy because I've been a little on the heavy side since I was a teen, my pants size when I was in the sixth grade was 16 husky, and in high school I wore Size 42 pants, my weight in high school was 215 lbs, when I started taking my diabetic medicine I dropped between 190 and 180 lbs because my weight fluctuates. During the week of my nephews death and funeral I went from 189 lbs to 172 lbs, and I'm kinda happy to say that I recently went from 185 lbs to 177 lbs, it's a small improvement. I really have nothing else to write about so I'll end it here, I hope everyone on VR has a great day and month.