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When you were here before, Couldn't look you in the eye. Your just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry. You float like a feather, In a beautiful world. I wish I was special, Your so fucking special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice, When I'm not arround. So fucking special, I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. Shes running out the door, Shes running out. She run, run, run, run, run... Whatever makes you happy, Whatever you want. Your so fucking special, I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here.

Well,this is one of my final journal entries, in this entry I look back at 2022. first and foremost 2022 marked three years since my nephew passed away, I grieve very heavily over his death,I miss him so much and I miss all of the missed opportunities to spend time with him when he was alive. also in 2022 I spent most of my time at the doctor,I had a endoscopy and two colonoscopies performed on me, everything came back fine. then in 2022 I also had a urologist perform an uroscopy on me, he ran a camera scope up my male genetalia,and I almost died from the procedure. he perform the procedure with a dirty scope and he only gave me two antibiotics to take when I got home. at first nothing happened and then about a week later I started having trouble peeing and then I started peeing blood so I went to the ER and they told me I had a bad UTI, well the next day I went to see my doctor In Jacksonville,that morning I fell real ill and I was having real bad chills. when I finally got to My doctors office I was throughing up and I could hardly walk so he put me in the hospital and they confirmed that I was running a 103 fever, I still had a UTI but it got worse and turned into sepsis, so I had to stay a couple of days in the hospital,during Janurary of 2023 My UTI came back and I spent some more time in the hospital. my family wants me to sue my urologist but I just don't know but I haven't went back to him since. Another thing to happen in 2022 was the death of JDF, original mighty morphen power ranger star who played as both the original green and white ranger Jason David Frank committed suicide,JDF was a hometown hero of mine since we were both from Houston Texas and I was a big fan of his. I was shocked when I read he killed himself because he was always so positive and always so happy and up beat. his fans were his life, he went to every ComiCon and no matter how long of a line was at his table he didn't leave until every autograph was signed and until he met every fan plus posing for pictures. most will always remember him as Tommy The green power ranger but I'll always remember him as the young Martial artist and actor who made an impact on Kids everywhere, he was such a great person but his demons overpowered him, but he was a great person and family man who will be sorely missed, may he forever rest in power. well, thats how my 2022 went, a lot of ups and downs.

Just like the sun over the mountain top, you know I'll always come again. you know I like to spend my morning time, just like sun light dancing off your skin. And I've never gone so wrong as telling lies to you, what you've seen is what I've been. There is nothing I can hide from you, you see me better than I can. Out on the road that lies before me now, there are some turns where I may spin. My only hope is that you'll hold me now, Till I gain control again.

well, I finally got my internet installed and I've been Enjoying myself for the last few days. I plan on writing my last few journal entries soon,i plan on writing one about 2022 in retrospect and etc. Adios and goodnight VR.

Well,I didn't get my internet installed today as planned because the company I'm going thru is full of morons and idiots who are incompetent,I spend half the day arguing with their support staff and their text support and I finally got the installation rescheduled for March 7th the same day as my mental health checkup so I'll have to reschedule my mental health appointment. Arguing with those people tired me out and got my blood pressure up, they're one of the only internet places where I live at so I have no choice but to do business with them, they control the cable and internet monopoly in Palestine Texas.well I think I rambled on enough, good night VR.

I'll be wrapping up my last few journal entries soon, I've been busy with things. Tomorrow I'm getting internet installed at my apartment, I've been without internet for a while and I've had to rely on my phones hot spot to get on VR. I was getting internet thru century link until they switched to brightspeed and my service started acting up and turned crappy so I had my internet disconnected and finally got set up to get internet thru zito media, I purchased their Gig speed internet which will give me 1000 mbps, and all I pay is $75.99 and then it goes up to $99 but I can sign a 2 year contract to keep it at $75.99 for two years so I'm extremely happy at the moment. Goodnight and adios VR