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7 entries this month
17:51 Sep 13 2024
Times Read: 24
Today is an aimless day.
No one to answer to. I don't have to do anything.
I really could just sit in a chair all day and stare out the door.
15:22 Sep 10 2024
Times Read: 49
This morning I was watching the weather on YouTube and the guy who was talking about the weather said that there were viewers who didn't know where their state is on a map of the US. I was surprised. I know there are a lot of people who can't name all of the states but surely everyone can read a map.
My husband has had truck drivers who come to his shop for services ask what state they are in.
How the fuck?
17:22 Sep 08 2024
Times Read: 71
It has been a full week.
My son is grieving, adjusting, keeping busy, engaging with people, getting out of the house.
Part of his process has been a methodical cleaning and claiming of space.
He said he talks to his roommate often(looking at the empty spaces his friend used to fill and speaking his thoughts to the room like the man can hear him).
He went back to work after 5 days and had two days off planned in case he had trouble but he said work was good.
He has spent a lot of time with his niece this week too(the grandkid)and now she asks for him all the time.
I think he will be ok.
12:46 Sep 06 2024
Times Read: 105
Been experiencing deja vu since Sunday. Last night it finally hit me and I was momentarily stunned.
In 1993 I was living in a house with a group of people; one of them was the man who helped make my son. One morning I left for work and it was sunny and lovely, a Friday.
At noon I went to deposit my paycheck and was surprised by the appearance of my friend. It was so random.
Then he said, "The house burned down, The kids are dead. We gotta go to the hospital."
I didn't have kids yet. It was our friends' kids.
The same voice from two different people, both giving me similar news in the same matter of fact way and they never even met each other.
12:43 Sep 05 2024
Times Read: 120
Coffee pot broke. Luckily I have an old Kwik Drip from the 50's.
17:56 Sep 02 2024
Times Read: 143
Day 2 of someone else's hell.
Spilled over from day 1.
Last night I talked to my son for about an hour before I went to bed. I got more information about his friends death; not gonna share, just saying it.
Got more information about his own state of mind and plans. He is cleaning pretty obsessively. People are making sure he eats. He slept.
Yesterday the condition of the house was very bad. I don't know if anyone reading this has any experience living with a person who goes through long bouts of depression.
My son had basically spent the last 5 years or so walking on eggshells and trying to coexist with this person; his best friend since the beginning of high school, they graduated in 2014.
My son is a pleaser, a nurturer, and he was raised by an alcoholic(not me)until he was 10. He really felt at the mercy of this other person who he genuinely believes could barely care for himself. In addition to damage done to the house by his friend, which affects the stability of the home itself, he also found the source of a cockroach infestation which he has been combating for 3 years. lawn debris bags full of food and alcohol containers hoarded in the bedroom closet of his friends room.
He has been trying to get that room in order, in order to try to preserve his memory for the family and this morning...
his friends girlfriend went right through the kitchen floor. Victim of chronic water damage caused by mishandling of a washing machine. So my husband is over there helping him patch it for right now until actual repairs can be made.
Why did the floor get this bad?
Apparently it wasn't possible because it meant turning off his friends gaming computer which is up against the kitchen wall and on top of some of the damaged floor.
20:12 Sep 01 2024
Times Read: 170
Long day.
Long fucking day.
I swear my life is not this exciting but this weekend... fuck.
I woke up this morning to someone else's nightmare when my son called me at 6am to tell me his roommate/best friend was dead. The guy was troubled and never really grew up. Recently he had been trying to turn it around but last night he fucked it all up.
We don't know if it was on purpose of just stupidity, in the end it doesn't matter.
Dead is just dead.
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COMMENTS
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STABB666
17:59 Sep 13 2024
A time for self reflection, pondering the mysteries of the universe?
Or just grab a tub of ice cream...