Think I might go home to California for a visit in the Fall.
The best state in the Union.
I miss the Redwoods, ocean, and State Parks.
Hope you have a nice visit when you are able to go back home.
California and Oregon will always be home to me.
Nice- I have never been that far north in CA.
Having a problem with things not being exactly the way I want them to be and immediately.
Within a couple weeks I am starting my beautiful chocolate Labrador's private lessons. It's way overdue. I was going through a really rough patch when I got him a little over a year ago, and I missed some of the best times (age) to train him. He is good with basic commands- but he's a hellion to try and walk, as well as jumping on people. And because he's so damn big and strong - it's painful. The trainer guarantees with his program, my baby boy will be grade A in all the ways I need him to be. I'm excited because I would so much rather walk all my miles with him. Especially in New Orleans.
Keto dieting REALLY works. I am 9 pound down from this time last week. I hate it, as in, I am not a fan of cutting out my favorite foods... but I can hang in here to reach my goals, then switch to maintenance mode. I wanted to stick with it because it's an anti-inflammatory diet and I need that... but I don't think it'll be realistic for me in the long run.
I walked yesterday in the extreme Gulf Coast heat and ended up with heat exhaustion at the local police station. That's never happened to me before. It's frustrating for me. So... it's nights after sundown and early morning before sun-up I guess, until I am in a place personally and weather-wise for the daytime.
I had a Mac years ago... it was my main computer for VR. It was a Mac mini. I actually got it for school back then (was in college online). It had a great lifespan... I missed it. I wanted to get another, so back in November I got a nice MacBook Pro. Only issue there was, I missed a large screen- and my iPad serves all needs for me while traveling. I ended up giving that MacBook Pro to my son just weeks after I got it, because he fell in love with it. Soooo... here I am with a Mac again (iMac), but fitting all my needs *and* wants :). I needed material excitement right now. It doesn't fill other voids, but it's a distraction.
I was thinking about eras gone by... AOL (America Online) and I missed those old school categoried chatrooms- I was an AOL Guide (moderated chatrooms). I searched for some chatrooms online and found one last night I joined. I was bombarded by direct messages from dudes and had to log out shortly thereafter. I hope I can actually have success there making some honest friends. Who knows. I just miss making real connections online.
I use to love going onto the chat rooms! There was one (Not AOL related) that I can not for the life of me remember what was called but you used an icon in the room and it typed by your name in a bubble instead of just like a normal chat room. I was thinking about this just the other day actually.
I remember one like that also- without remembering what it was.
I tried to google earlier and still can not sort it out... it may drive me batty. lol
Got the iMac and set it up... using it now. This machine is so much nicer in person. I didn't even look at them in the store. Been a while since I went in an Apple store... pandemic shutdowns and all- no reason to have gone into one in a hot minute. Anyhow, pleased to say the least. I really wanted this in green (too long of a waitlist), but the blue does not disappoint.
I'm going keto starting tomorrow. Let's see how this works out :)
I miss new people signing up here- making new friends, all that stuff. I need interaction and I enjoy the idea of making friends online... it just doesn't seem like we're getting many new people. Or... new people who would interact with ME.
Ordered my iMac this evening and it’s projected to arrive Monday. Although I’m excited to work on sound 🎙 projects, I have other ideas that I have jotted down after doing research for other side hustles. Definitely ready to “get to work“ trying to make things happen here at home.
I was given such a wonderful blessing when I was hired with my previous employer last year. It was everything I needed and prayed for- and then... my mental health slipped and I had to let go of it. There wasn't anything I could do to save it. They didn't let me go- I quit before they could see the cracks in me.
It's really, really hard for me to deal with the loss because I tried for so many years to find exactly what they provided me, only to realize I couldn't hang in there.
I am trying to find similar work to see if I can give it a shot again. Certain goals are out of reach without it. Even if I win my VA case to the degree I hope- it's just not enough. Trust me though, if I win that case- it would be a massive step forward and I would be the most grateful person for it.
I appreciate that, seriously. I am keeping an actual candle lit here in my room for everything. I have a "Vision Board", I fall asleep listening to words of affirmation and positivity in hopes the Law of Attraction will work in my favor. It's difficult at times but I am very intentionally living each day putting everything into the universe that I hope for myself.
The heat on the Gulf Coast has been unbearable. All I want to do is get back into my daily miles- but I have to wait till 8PM to be able to handle the temps :( It's really messing with my mental health.
Six days until I order my new computer. Providing nothing happens between now and then to change course. And at that moment? Start learning more. Start recording more. Start getting more anxious about learning the software I'll be working with. I have this wonderful ability to be happy about something and dread it just a bit as well.
Life always moves at a snail's pace when you want to get something done. Beyond just waiting for a new computer, I am mostly waiting for an appeal of my VA benefits. I have a law firm working my case- and if I win it the way I hope to- life will change majorly. Just in the sense of *basic* security, but also having health insurance completely taken care of. Using Blue Cross/Blue Shield has meant still owing thousands whenever I've had a surgery. Health insurance is a joke. I am looking forward to that no longer being my reality. And also- pretty sad commentary that I have had such a negative experience with civilian docs that I actually look forward to the VA.
Okay... what *about* a podcast? What would I do with it? What would it be for? Lots to think about.
ElderDaniel, our former Master Vampire, used to have a podcast called "Is This Thing On?"... he featured me on one episode. I'm actually listening to this episode now. SO wild. I don't even recognize the person who is speaking, I only have the same memories as her.
As it stands June 24th I will order a new Mac and get my shit rolling. I currently have an All-in-One HP, Touchcreen- basic workhorse PC (administrative-type work). I got it specifically for a work from home position I had, and it was great for that. Without that job- it's a damn net surfer/YouTuber at best. Not powerful enough for games. And even though most layman users would consider a very quiet computer- I can hear those little things that an excellent microphone would also pick up.
SOOOOOOO.... I can't wait to get this off my desk and make way for the Mac. I'll be getting it in green, 'cause, GREEN.
My body is aching to be outside raking in the miles- but it's SO HOT out during the day, and then it's been raining so much, that even it if stopped- at sundown I'd go out there and just be dodging puddles, ruining good shoes. I am so incredibly frustrated that the universe isn't doing exactly what I want to be doing right now. Can I get an Amen?
So... IN THE MEANTIME (because equipment gathering takes a bit)- I'll be using this place to ramble about things I've long worn out in the past. Getting out of a funk means getting back into things that make me ME, and the biggest one? *Walking* I will indeed get back to my 20 mile days. I'd never felt so powerful in my life than packing in all those miles. That and also how great it felt to just be out in the world having that full command of my own presence while in it. Read that last sentence again- it packs a punch.
Back and forth... watch me as I blog about the journey.
I can use a USB mic- the USB mic does everything an XLR with audio interface will, it's just a matter of "quality", which I am coming to learn as I continue to research, can be accomplished with a good USB mic. I need to focus on good entry-level stuff that will do the job, then invest in better later if I am successful getting gigs.
Okay- so my last entry was jumping the gun. I made a mistake. Life has changed by leaps and bounds since I was a radio DJ in an iso booth who spun CDs (and still vinyl here and there). The really nice mic I got is USB connected... so I can't use it with an audio interface. Although it sounds excellent, I am passing it on to my son who's a steady gamer and would get a lot of it using it with Discord.
So I got my new mic in the mail yesterday. It's not the greatest but it's a great starter device and it blows away what recording sounds like with a basic headset. A couple days ago I recorded a sample excerpt of a story so I could size up the sound. I didn't have anything to compare it to. So, I just hooked the new mic up and recorded a few lines. I listened to the other recording and this one back-to back... and the difference is glaringly apparent. I love it! I can only imagine what I will be able to when I invest in a better one. And right now, I was just recording without the pop filter and sound booth box that it will be in (those things will arrive in the mail tomorrow).
Slow rolling it all because I can't do shit till next month when I have the new iMac. Patience has never and will never be a virtue of mine.
Although the waiting a month part sucks, if you are at all like me it is exciting to get new things in the mail slowly. A nice little treat to tinker with when they come in. I stalk the shipping and then when it says out for delivery I stalk the carrier! lol! I feel like Verruca Salt... Don't care how... I want it NOW. lol!
Yes, this is exciting... also my time to mess up here and there which I have already done... to be continued in new journal entry :P
Protect your mental health- shutdown nonsense. Meaning: Don't feed into it, just recognize what it is and choose to move on and away from it.
In other news- I've just ended the worst year of my life. As I came here and journaled about my own mental health a while back, I was unfortunately the victim of a very bad medical provider. I had been overly medicated and my symptoms were amplified beyond anything I can adequately explain. I wanted to kill myself very regularly. I was sure it was the right move. I put it in motion a couple times. I'd been in that zone in my past- but I honestly encountered an entire year of consistent suicidal ideation. I was concerned, I talked to my doctor- she only kept increasing my meds and adding new ones on top. A little over a month ago I spent time online googling the right cocktail for death with all I had in my arsenal- I started to make it happen... but suddenly, I snapped out of it. I decided to stop everything cold turkey. These are meds you need to carefully titrate from, but in my mind- all they were doing was convincing me to kill myself- so the horrible withdraws I would encounter were a better trade-off.
All that being said, I spent a really bad month coming off and dealing with the withdraws. And now... I am moving on.
Since I quit my great job in January due to the way my meds had me off-kilter (I so unhealthily described in a journal entry as "the right cocktail")- I am now switching gears.
I am building a studio at home to get back into voice work. Recapturing my old radio DJ days, but this time, going to throw my hat into the ring of voice over work and audiobook narration. It's something that currently has me excited, and I can't wait to get everything in place. I had a really sweet Macbook Pro that would have been perfect to use for it, but I gave it to my son. Now- I plan to get another Mac next month for this. PCs rule the playground with gaming, but Macs are where it's at with sound production.
I think you would do awesome in voice over work/narration. For real, your voice is so perfect for listening to, I could listen to you talk all day. That sounded creepy, but it's a compliment! I hope you can make it happen. Putting out all the good vibes and juju for you on this endeavor.
I am glad you have been able to over come what you have and are still with us. A world without you would be a sad one indeed!
That sounds like an amazing new adventure! I would love to listen to audio books read by you!
I have always wished I could listen to you "podcast style" at work, or when I'm studying but OMG, this is amazing too!!! Welcome back! I can't wait for this one, as I too, enjoy listening to you:)
I hope to be able to share plenty here as the time moves on. I can't get the Mac till next month, so it's going to be a bit. But between now and then I will be collecting all the rest of the gear and setting things up so I'll be ready to GO. I may dabble in many arenas of voice over work.
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