05:20 Mar 13 2025
Times Read: 230
This is going to seem strange to some people, but my someday ex-husband and I have decided to stay roommates for however long. Since I have to stay in this state until I finish school due to the program I am in, splitting the bills is going to be the best financial move for us.
However, we’ve lived in military housing for 15 years, and it’s not really secure. What I mean is, when they need units – the federal employees are the first they will kick out. So we have always been vulnerable to that. Also, federal workers don’t have the most secure jobs these days. No one feels safe. And since he has taken care of me for the last nearly 30 years, I would be OK with covering the bills if he he lost his job until he found something else. This has not been a marriage of abuse. We just aren’t a good match.
Another thing that’s going to sound really stupid to people – is we are considering buying a house together. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be our forever home, but it is going to be a home that we both would want to leave for our son.
Often times when people get divorced, it’s a divorce from someone you do not trust at all. We don’t have that kind of problem. And I know people are going to say, “you don’t know“… But I do know that. Scott would never risk having our son cut him off for treating me like crap. It just wouldn’t happen. And he’s never been that kind of jackass to me anyway.
Anyhow, it’s a good arrangement, and I have never had to worry about anything living under the same roof with him all of these years. We’ve just been in different bedrooms. The dynamics have changed immensely since we had our talk, and we haven’t argued about a thing since.
If I buy a house, it’s going to happen with benefits that I have as a 100% disabled veteran. VA loans for this status mean no money down, no property taxes, better rates, and more. I’m not going to buy anything I won’t be able to afford by myself in case he meets someone and wants to move out. But as long as he is there – life is going to be half as expensive for both of us. 😁 I’m going to be able to save a lot of money.
I’ve been working my ass off on getting both of us debt free, and I have achieved it. If I buy a house – that’s going to be the only debt I have. And honestly, if we were to crack down, I could pay off a home in five years, but I don’t feel like cracking down like that lol. I’ve lived a life where I haven’t done a damn thing for myself for years… I can imagine cracking down like that, and then having an accident as soon as the home was paid off – die, and be floating above my body saying, “damn, and to think you didn’t do anything the last five years.“ So yeah, I don’t feel like having zero life for that long.
Why did I tell the world I’m getting divorced and then decide to stay in the same house with this guy? First of all, this isn’t necessarily forever – and secondly, there’s definitely something to be said with being open and honest with the world. I don’t think that people should generally put all their business on the street – but I don’t feel like dealing with judgment from people if either of us happens to meet someone else. We both know that we are free to do whatever we want, and I just would rather get ahead of rumors and gossip. People are going to talk crap anyway, but this was just an important thing to me. We’ve been separated for 22+ years, and it’s really weighed on me that it was mostly our secret. I have told people over the years, but I wasn’t public about it. Also, I wouldn’t stay married and date someone – if life were to put someone in my path, the divorce would happen pretty damn quickly.
All that being said – I really don’t give a crap about meeting someone. That wasn’t the reason to separate. I just want to be openly on my own program. And I am now. I finish school December 2026 – and after that I will have all the time I want to travel. I don’t have to run anything by another person. Things are not changing the way I thought they would, but they have changed – and it feels so much better.
And although this whole scenario may have people scratching their heads, you have to realize… That’s because most break ups/divorces don’t end amicably. It’s too bad all relationships can’t end so easily on both sides, heh.
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