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12 entries this month
 

A Black Wizard Memo

22:11 Nov 30 2021
Times Read: 68


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A Black Wizard Memo Fuck! I have a cold. I honestly find nothing more annoying than catching a cold. Feeling tired all day, groggy, no amount of water will quince that thirst, headache after headache, maybe that's why I've been so off and irritable this week and it finally won the unseen fight. There are no such things as off days though. I'll probably skimp on the cleaning and cooking today though and just give everyone microwave foods. You know usually when people feel horrible they want to be loved and attended to. Not I, I just want to be left the fuck alone. I'm just going to take allergy meds it seems to help and continue to be a hissing irritable cat for now. No video games, no reading or crafting just that glorious bed and warm comfy blankets after the kids are fed. I know the husband won't mind putting the kids to bed. That's all I ask for. Until next time.
Darkness Guide you.

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A Black Wizard Memo

00:03 Nov 30 2021
Times Read: 82


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A Black Wizard Memo, I come here and write to clear out my thoughts. That way when I write a paper I'm at my best. Yet lately. Things have been seeming off and I don't really know why. Somethings off, or maybe I'll need to vent and I'll return to normal. A now dear reader before I start let me say I love my children and husband dearly I don't spend my entire day on my phone playing video games. I cook clean homeschool the children, take my brother to work take the children to park on the way home cook dinner and the cycle restarts after a journal and paper are written. If times allowed I craft something.
But, here lately my youngest seems quite to vocalist (she is now two) I wouldn't call it the terrible two age because she's not a terrible child. She is just learning to get attention, apparently, it is now throwing tantrums. The baby crying is something I can bear, yet there is a high pitch she's downing now and is constant with it that tears my brain and my soul apart. I know it's an over-exaggeration but that is literally what it feels like. She is such a joy to be around but it's seemingly getting more constant especially when I sit in the living room and try to home school her sister who is 7.
Now my oldest is the biggest handful I've ever met and the source of my stress. I love her dearly and if it were not for her birth I really would be a shit person. She is the one who I completely changed for and stopped always thinking about myself. Had it not been for her I would have been an alcoholic or done harder drugs, she is what made me strong and has pulled me out of deep holes in my life. Yet she just gets into everything and is a constant reminder of how her father is. OVerly active and constantly trying to get attention and never shutting up. Please don't get me wrong I give the child affection and I often encourage her and we do attend counseling because I feel like she has a type of ADD yet more hyperactive and my conclusions are right. I was always against medicating her because I thought that was what children do but, being called to the school damn near every day just made me say fuck it I'll teach her and so far she's actually improved more than anything. But it's her lack of awareness and thinking skills along with getting into anything and everything she can that is driving me insane. If it's not her getting into something or doing something it's my youngest screaming over I swear to it literally nothing. So by the afternoon, I am so emotionally drained and highly irritated. The only thing that gives me peace or allowed time to the center is the 10 mins I get when my husband comes home from work and I go to the store for cigarettes and my beer. I always hold off getting my stuff when he comes home so I can get that 10-15 minutes of alone time. Then there are the daily things. We have just moved into my grandmother's house after it was empty for about 15 years. So the house has had its damage over the years. We are still working on it but it's hard when I don't know what to do and my husband only gets 2 days off a week. Once again don't get me wrong. I absolutely love living here I am near my family but not living with my mother which is sometimes hell! The fact we are out in the woods and this is just the house everyone we grew up in. I cannot express how happy I am here. But it's the small things or big things depending on how you look at it. There is little to no plumbing I have no kitchen so I make do with what I have, Air fryer, a single stove eye, a griddle, etc etc. But sometimes daily things are a task especially when you can't turn your back for a second. I mean we take our showers at my mom. Daily washing like clothes or dishes. Yet, it's just turning my back and shit literally hits the fan. Maybe it's just the fact that I feel like things move so slowly? Or do I feel like I can't get anything done even though I do? I should keep my patience I know with time will get things done. I mean we've only been here for coming up six months. We have power food and basic necessities and I make do with everything we have and am always grateful for it. It's just a feeling of longing I suppose. Like I can get my dishes done faster if I had my own sink. I would be able to get rid of this clutter with the house fixed and more rooms opened up. One day I look back at this and laugh and it'll be funny stories we tell each other, or it'll set examples for stories I'll tell my grandchildren when they go through a tough time in life. Never give up Never surrender!

COMMENTS

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A Black Wizard Memo

01:40 Nov 29 2021
Times Read: 94


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A Black Wizard Memo, a college student came by today. She interviewed my husband on his necromancy. I know the interview was about him but sometimes I couldna help butt and no one seemed to mind. It's been a while since we had company. I couldn't help but smile and chuckle inside when she asked if we took apprentices.

I got two papers graded today I need to keep in mind that my teachers do their grading (not like they go to church or anything) One was 100% and I was really shocked by what I received and how. It was on my panticle making. I made it from a block of wood my husband cut off when he was renovating the home a piece of wire copper that was laying around a rotary tool, How I made my panticle wasn't what earned the 100% but how my lack of knowledge stopped me from inscribing something on it. I knew they were the seals of Solomon but I didn't know which ones. My self-awareness earned me 100% and because I didn't follow the masses. Here's their review.

Instructor Notes
Stellar work, Apprentice Corvus! Your efforts to fashion your panticle, to attune it to yourself, and to consecrate will surely provide you with a potent tool indeed. The level of craft you invested, as well as harnessing the symbolic value of using wood from your own home, will reinforce its meaning as well. Further, I commend your self-awareness and wisdom to understand the importance of understanding what you are doing in magick rather than blindly following tradition or instructions; the GSW does not want to train wizards who have no idea what they are doing or why! Next time you encounter this situation in a class, it would be a wise idea to do some research on your own before you proceed or to ask your instructor if you can't figure it out on your own. This will only serve to expand your knowledge and make you an even better wizard!

Yours,

Dean


The other paper which got a grade was at 95% I was a little upset because anything under a 98 is unacceptable in my eyes. ?Yet, an A is an A I suppose. It's this concept that pushes me to do better in class I'm going to get 100% in this class and it will be on the final exam which earns you 100% for the whole class. Here is the review o Facilities in my vampirism class.

Instructor Notes
Greetings Apprentice Corvus, Well done! I was not aware the link was broken but I will get it updated shortly with a new one. Good on you though for putting on your Wizard hat and going on an adventure to find more information. You displayed not only a great use of critical thinking skills but you also displayed an important skill for a Wizard to have, interacting with others. As a Wizard, you will be surprised at how far you can go in your community just by talking with people. I'm impressed with your work and drive in this essay! Also, you are absolutely right, most vampire communities are very ethical and pride themselves on being not only morally upright individuals but also pride themselves on being tolerant and accepting. Keep up the great work! Happy holidays, Dean

So overall I feel it's a good day. I took off for about a month from my classes. These grades are really the push I needed to get back into my studies and to come back strong. Now I just need to finish that spell on doing well in school. I'm just having trouble finding the right components. I can't just study because there is no guarantee of success like hard work. Until next time
Darkness Guide you.

COMMENTS

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A Black Wizard Memo

21:04 Nov 27 2021
Times Read: 111


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A Black Wizards Memo
What leads me here. So I finished my paper and turned it in. It was the whole reason why I joined this site. I'll post my grade when they get to it.

Fallacies

Essay Assignment
Write an essay of at least 250 words and tell me what you learned from this lesson that you did not already know. Did anything surprise you? Do you find the rules ethical? If you did not learn anything new, please comment on what you read.

Delving into this paper wasn’t an easy task. The link for the vampirism rules was broken and lead to finding a physic reader. Bummer I thought, but goo did come out of it. Like Jessie in the Queen of the damned where to go to find information than into the vampire's den \or at least their front doorstep. Like Jessie having to find legible and good information wasn’t easy either. Yet, unlike our journalist, I didn’t have to hold my neck out or make any promises of giving energy for information. Hanging out in one of the sites I found a good source of information. Most vampires I found aren’t so quick to give information on their houses and what they do is quite understandable.
I found something interesting to a link to a vampire I had chatted with and even more surprising that it was within my own state about an hour's drive. The Atlanta Vampire Alliance. Founded by a man or vampire known as Merticus. The first thing I noticed about the website. Which this was the search for rules and regulations for the vampire community was I noticed they had the “The BITE Model of Authoritarian Control: Undue Influence, Thought Reform, Brainwashing, Mind Control, Trafficking and the Law” Reading this I assume they wanted their members to be fully aware of cult-like actions or behavioral control tendency. This was published in January of this year. Sounds like a vampirism movement is progressing rather nicely in my opinion.
On the website, we move into the Vampire ethos which is a page based on community, respect, integrity, awareness, and safety guideline. These guidelines press against no feeding on a person who is intoxicated of any influence, feeding on a person who has been infected with the considering blood-borne passagons. They also go into depth about consent and won't bat an eye at reporting any illegal behaviors.

Did anything surprise me?
Well given the obvious that vampires are pretty much just people living their daily lives. Not really it’s different yes, just like our paths in wizardry and how we conduct over pursue our thirst for knowledge or in our way of life. They are the same in their own ways. Reaching their own ways of life as we do. Just the vampire needs help in getting energy as we need help in casting it with the herbs and times we collect and send off.

Do you find the rules ethical?
Based on what I found on the Altana Vampire Alliance page. I find them to be very ethical, and taking actions and even raising awareness in cult-like behaviors so no one can be hurt. Be it a house, coven, or in any community. I feel like I’ve learned that they take responsibility for what they do and how they act.


If you did not learn anything new, please comment on what you read.
Well, I was deeply saddened by the broken link, yet it did make me push forward and find out what the vampires were really about and made me break out of my shell. Instead of reading about them, it caused me to actually meet them and I even had a few questions which some were happy to answer. Questions how did they feel after they fed. Seeing how C-ovid has actually affected the community pretty bad. The majority haven’t fed since it’s hit and is having a rough time gathering energy because of it. Which was something I didn’t even think about.

COMMENTS

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A Black Wizard Memo

23:18 Nov 26 2021
Times Read: 123


A Black
Wizard Memo.
The Holidays. Well, the send set is down two more to go. I was happy to see my husband's eyes light up today as he saw his eldest daughter. I watch the two we have together as he rekindles the fire between the two. It fills my heart with great love and joy being able to see the two together, They've had a rough go because of the mom and the grandmother in which details I won't go into and leave him heartbroken. I've seen his breakdown in front of me countless times and how it hurts my heart to see it. We've even crashed a few Christmas parties (Nothing rude or lude just people in shock seeing we came even though they didn't know if we were invited or not) Now, his eldest son comes over every other week. But to see his eldest is a true sight of happiness. How I wish we could take her home with us. She shows a keen interest in what we do and all the knowledge I wish to teach her. She is so funny and kind-hearted but only likes to be seen in the distance. She is a complete joy to be around and so misunderstood by the people or adults around her. No one seems to just talk to her as she hit her pre-teen years, the road is rough ahead. Just to get into contact with her seems like mission impossible because of how the grandma sees us and reacts even to the point of not wanting to money after she even asked for it. The dynamics of the family are complicated and odd at best so I won't even try to explain it either. I want her here I want her to feel loved like she is and not alone like I know she feels you see it in her eyes. Yet, such a promise of a brain in her youth and all she accomplishes smart girl. When I met her I immediately fell in love with and call her my own. Yet, I've seen my husband break down year after year, and the disappointment and hurt full my heart when she isn't there and was told she would be. Or when we had to scrape by for Christmas or her birthday. Or even the year he had bought her a hot dog and wrapped it because she said that's what she wanted. The Holidays are tough and this is just one example. All I have to say is the Holidays are tough for some people. But hang in there and be patient and find some outlet to return the love or to return it to someone who was less fortunate. That's what they were based on. Farmers not being able to grow certain crops or animals so they shared what they had vegetables, livestock, or any other means. They aren't what you can give. It's how you do it even just by being there or cleaning out the closet and donating what you have. Just think about that for a minute. It's not flashy or the image Hallmark portrays it to be. Every time I've tried to have that commercial Holiday and for that expectations I fall into the biggest disappointment ever. Yet, the small ones I've had with just family and enjoying my time with them or if my time was enjoyable or worth something. Those were the best. I hope this helps someone.


COMMENTS

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markus666
markus666
12:12 Nov 27 2021

I can feel the passion within your heart as you write. I can not elaborate too much about the subject because I don't have details about situations or episodes which contributed to what is today. Pre teen is an awakening into adulthood and the influences of the surrounding, can have a major effect on a teen. just keep showing love to her and about the Grands parents, ignore them for the sake of a happy holydays. As always, one click away if you need to chat. By the way, your writing is amazing and grab the reader. Keep writing.





 

A Black Wizard Memo

17:09 Nov 24 2021
Times Read: 151


A Black Wizard Memo

SO far I have 3 final exams coming up and I transcend into a level 3 wizard my goal is well met for this year. We go by levels there 7 levels and you graduate from Apperantace to Journey Man. I'm well excited for the next set of classes that will be done will mark my halfway point. This usually takes a wizard about 2 years complete in total and I've managed to get this far in one. Most people quit the first year or just write the papers without doing the example of the material they hand us spells to do from time to time or tell us to make something. Often people just write it without doing what's asked which sometimes spads from 1 week or a month's time of watching waiting and reporting the causes and effects. But I intended on doing it all. My grade average is 97 which is good but I feel anything below a 98 is unacceptable and have been working so hard to boost that up. I'm going to finish what I have now so I can boost my grade higher before I finish my writes class. She grades harshly and even I feel overwhelmed about her grading process. She brings your hopes up with 100% at the beginning with your idea and how my grades drop from a 95% to 90% next paper is just heartbreaking. She is a cold harpy. For extra credit, I read the book flowers for Aldrin and even watched the movie. My husband watched the kids and I honestly did complete it in 24 hours along with the paper. The book is really long but at the time I was a security guard on the night shift. I started reading the book when I clocked in and spent most of my spare time finishing it and watching the movie the next night which was only 2 hours then wrote my paper. Impossible she says little miss I hold book clubs. I understand her harshness but still, You teach at a school for wizardry and you're telling me something is impossible. This is my second class with her but sure enough, if she'd ask around she'd see that it wasn't something I'd skip over, or even if she read the forum post I did on the book she would have known that I read it and did a nice comparison between the book and the movie. I've often debated on not writing a paper and hopefully getting kicked out of the class. I have better things to do than to be told I didn't do an assignment in which I did. Not only that an extra credit assignment cause I feel my grade average is doomed if I complete her final exam. I'm fine with constructive criticism but don't tell me I didn't do something that I did. Maybe I'm letting this get to me and I should brush it off yet it's the whole concept. Just saying you spend damn near a whole day to complete something and put your all into it only to be told you didn't do it and to be completely shut down from the subject. The whole Irony of the thing is I wrote a paper on the concept of lying and she responded that for a child if a child drew a picture she would say she loved it even if it was hideous. The thing is I am completely honest with my 7-year-old and the matter of how I tell her something is sugar-coated. For example, she draws a unicorn and asks me how I like it. Well, baby, I don't really like unicorns but if you did it and you like it that should be all that matters. Then I tell her things I do like about it. For example, I like how you stayed in the lines. I like the colors you chose. I don't hurt my child's feelings over honesty or try not to. I'm not going to tell it's the best piece of art I've ever seen either. We already give kids trophies for participation even if they lose. Someone has to keep their children in reality. Some wins 1st place and she won 2nd tough. Try harder, you did a good job, and be a good sport. Why aren't these concepts thought of any more? Why are people so sensitive and always willing to play the victim? AND REALLY what is going on with this black power movement? I really thought this was over in the '60s and I thought in the last 60 years we were all progressing forward? Who decided to turn the clock back!? Everywhere I look I see this and with the last bit of people who really pushed for segregation and inequality are dying out we have to bring this back really?! It's not just color that pisses me off. it's the whole witch v.s Christan or other religions that branch from them. They were in the persecution age too! Look I'm happy someone finds comfort in their spirituality. But, how much have humans evolved from hate? It seems to be reoccurring all the time. I don't know where I'm going with this but all I ask is just for people to be decent to each other. Is that really so much to ask for? Shouldn't matter in what one believes or looks. It should just come down to decency and the morals of a person. Well, that's my rant for the day, I hope this post doesn't get banned or taken down.


COMMENTS

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CowboyZombie
CowboyZombie
18:43 Nov 24 2021

I agree with you. Seems we are going backgrounds





 

A Black Wizard Memo

23:22 Nov 21 2021
Times Read: 172


A Black Wizards Memo
Not much to write today I mainly do a daily post on here because it says writing every helps writing in general. Today we finished the construction of a make-shift green house from an old dog Kennel with plastic wrappings and some kind of see-through plastic panels for the top. I'm really happy I won't lose any plants this winter. Or what a short winter well have we've also decided to put the fish pond in there as well though the fish did fine last year though I think they'll apperacte their pond not being frozen over this year. Though we didn't quite get all of our goals done for the day it was nice to complete that.
Haven't written any other papers yet, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit. Sometimes you have to find it sometimes you have to grin and bear it. My old friend messaged me out of the blue. But I don't know I'm not one who likes to get into her drama. All she does is talk about herself and finds ways to justify her actions even if you call her out on it. What bugs me to the core is how she treats her spouse. Just because she did him wrong she likes to constantly remind him that the baby may not be his. Which is a line no woman should cross. But I feel just that she isn't a woman who owns up to responsibly I remember last Yule she didn't watch her youngest and he almost fell in the burning cauldron with the Yule logs. Had not one of the people invited stopped him the story may have ended in a more tragic tale. To what extent nowadays do people have to go through to simply watch your kids and they aren't other people responsibly. I don't really know. I can't say I'm the parent of the year but I value my children's safety and the people around them as well.
I don't know how I feel about her. She calls it ghosting but I've always been told if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Which is something I've done all my life in conversation or online. What had happened was I agreed to be at her baby shower... When she had it at her house. Then it moved to a restaurant. I felt uneasy at this point. I don't do well in crowds of people and she knew this. Not only that I don't want to feel the guilt of association when I'm there and the boyfriend's family comes. I urge her to do the moral thing to do. To her, that's doing whatever gets her on top if it's gaining an item or hurting someone to achieve whatever she wants. I'm still stung by the comment last time I chose not to speak with her. The comment she made about finding my ex and telling him where I was.
That was a low blow in her knowing I was close to having that abusive relationship with him but I left in the nick of time. I took my child from him for her safety I hate women who take their children from their father for the upper hand. But it had to be done for her safety, what kind of person would do that just because someone doesn't want to speak to you. How selfish are you to do a thing to disturb a happy family and to disrupt a child's safety, For what revenge over something so small. I'd say I'd have it coming if I have actually done something wrong, but I haven't. I'm not trying to play the victim and I hate when people do, seems something society just now makes me sick to my stomach and reminds me of my roommate.
She drank herself blind and pulls the poor me card when she did it to herself and I have no pity for what makes it worse is that he/she is going through a sex change from man to woman. She's never worked a day in her life because of her drinking her self blind (so she says I call bs). So to recap the government pays for her disability, the government pays for her food, and now her unnecessary surgery. What happened to morals? She calls herself a witch but all her magic fizzles. She puts nothing towards what she does so why would her magick even work simply it doesn't.
Now, I'm not here to bash people who use government assistance. But it's her that completely makes me completely sick. Meanwhile, there are people who are sick and need surgery who can't afford it and the government won't help support it. That kid who needs the kidney, or the person who won't be operated on because they didn't get the covid shots. Overall people make me sick, I'm better off alone and with my family. Hopefully, I can teach a certain amount of human decency to my kids. I can die happily knowing I did just that.


COMMENTS

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NikkiAidyn
NikkiAidyn
12:12 Nov 23 2021

It's best not to try and change such people but to lead by example...it is hard sometimes.
Best wishes





 

A Black Wizard Memo

14:41 Nov 20 2021
Times Read: 188


Update on Ancstortal prayer. I usually refined for writing a journal this early in the day but. Here we go. I got a wonderful review on it. My grade was a 98% had I named my ancestors I'm sure I would have gotten a 100%

Instructor Notes
Great work, Apprentice Corvus Umbra! Honestly, there's little in the way of feedback I can offer here; it is very well done. I would only say to be open to changing it or modifying it if you feel it wise or beneficial to do so later, perhaps by adding the names of specific Ancestors you find yourself close to and working with frequently.

Yours,

I prefer not to say who my teacher is

Now the Grey School I know I go on and on in my journals about it. The Grey School was created by Oberon Zell Raven heart. He is the Dumbelldoor of our time. He is a the HEadmaster and you can find the tone of information about him online. The reason why I rave about it is that the Grey School is complied with the Grey Council and has handed off their teachings to the people who have mastered the studies and made them the Deans. The Grey council are the writers and authors of countless books and are actually pretty well known in the witching world It really is an honor to be tough by them and for them to tell you your theories are right with every paper you write. Yet, on the other side, I feel bad for them on some of the papers written. They do a good job in challenging you and what you think and know about the wizarding world of magic and I have actually learned a lot in the year I have been with them.
Now, I'm not a big named wizard, and no I don't have a huge say in what goes on, yet I can say I am a level 2 wizard and most people don't make it through the first set of classes. Why well most of these teachers are extremely blunt and waste no time in telling you why something isn't true or why it won't work and most people cannot take their constructive criticism.
I remember when I had a friend who went into the school with me and she wanted me to read one of her papers. She wrote a poem and I read it and gave it my criticism. She flat out cried in front of me when I told her if you're going to do a rhyming scheme poem you need to keep it because two words didn't rhyme. Then the next day the teacher had pretty much told her the same thing I did.
Now the Grey school starts you off with you doing self-reflection and proper meditation, it's just mandatory. Then after you've completed the Core classes then you get to your fun stuff like choosing which color of Wizardy you to be. Now I really don't think a lot of students are in the Black Wizard path because what you learn about is the taboo area. My papers seldomly get graded. Teachers are supposed to grade their papers within 3days and it usually takes a week for mine to get graded. I remember one time it took about a month for one paper to get graded so it takes a lot of patients. I Enjoy the grey School mainly because I don't have to worry about being in a coven when I want to increase my education on the magickal knowledge and I Feel confidant that when my papers are graded it's unbias and based on facts and are being graded by people who have been doing this their whole life while I've just been doing this for 10 years. 20 and 30 + years is doubled or tripled my knowledge. What they teach is extremely effective. Now my path with death isn't something I often bring up to them. I'm still testing the waters with that because they are huge on morals and I remember one teacher challenging me on the morality of human sacrifices with the Aztec Indians but it's also a matter of perspective though I got a high grade in the paper because I dare to challenge I'm not an argumentive person. I would urge you to check them out if you are into that kind of thing it's $20 a month and they push you to hand create your alter and teach you how to make your own tools and will guide you in the field you're interested in.


COMMENTS

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A Black Wizard Memo

17:47 Nov 19 2021
Times Read: 206


ENCHANTED BONES!
Today I'm supposed to be writing my paper on spell work and write a spell on how to manifest things you desire. Yet when your me. You have everything you desire and it the small things that would make you're life easier Example finding your keys, that favorite black shirt amongst the 100's black shirts that belonged to yourself and your spouse. No today I got a little creative and began making more bone beads for my hair with an added twist I touched the tips up with dragons blood. Why? well like the lights that guide the airplane to its port or destination the same rule applies not only that dragon's blood also gives it that extra oomph in power. And cause it sounds cool I jest. I painted all the tips and lines with it alone side it I finally had the time to paint the sigil on my rabbit's skull and found the perfect hairpin to glue it to. Now I had half a mind to paint sigils on my beads as well, but two problems occurred, I have Dragons Blood ink... not paint with proves a little runny, and two I don't have a paintbrush with bristles small enough. But maybe a project for a ring I'm in the process of making. But Corvus bones are hard and can't be bent right. Well yes and no. Keep in mind I enjoy doing things that aren't costly makes feel nifty. So what do we do? Well I took a spaghetti sauce jar filled it with vinegar, It's an acid so it'll eat away at the bone. Keep it stored for three days and poof benday moldable bones! So while they are soaked I'm probably going to make a brush with bristles small enough. FOr the ring, I would suggest opossum bones they are already bendy by nature and take a lot more to break. I'm in the process of making my beads I also save the powder made in the process. I use a Dremel to make my hole in the bones and to clean out the center. Careful though if your bones arent cleaned properly there is fat still attached and smells awful and will melt from the friction of the drimmel. Be careful not to inhale the bone powder either too much of it can make you sick. Now that everything is said and done the most important thing. We must charge it. Now I won't get into great detail about what I do out of respect for my husband who's shown me how but I will tell you to do your research on Herbs dealing with death like Cypress and Mullin as well with Death oil (Yes there is such a thing) and bone flower and learning the difference, along with on how to call upon the dead for their blessing in your works. Also learning which candles and why is also a good start if you wish. But most importantly before taking bones or graveyard dirt make sure you ask permission from the dead.
Even if it's a family member I recall my mom getting temporarily possessed by her grandfather when we visited his grave. It's not as bad as it sounds. My mom is a girly girl and I would never see her pull up weeds she left the yard work to me and my brother. Yet, she stood there silently for a few minutes and I thought she was just mourning. No, she was being possessed. She began wildly pulling up weeds and didn't stop until she hit an anthill and ants began biting her and she came to. When we got to the car She tried starting her car but it wouldn't Now my mom doesn't really understand what's going on, yet I do I don't ignore these energies. My great-grandfather was upset that his grave wasn't respected as it should be. He wasn't happy with weeds growing out of it and ants making their home in his bed. I'm going to clean it when it warms up a bit and I have someone to watch the kids while I do. Maybe this will help him be more at peace and more willing to help me in my works. But be careful when working with spirit and like you do with the living ask for permission. You might catch yourself doing something you normally wouldn't do because one is angry.


COMMENTS

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A Black Wizard Memo

20:26 Nov 18 2021
Times Read: 232


Writing a paper in spell work in which how Low magick works is sometimes a tedious task. You can't write out a spell for something and explain it works this way because I say so or I felt it so. No not at all there is countless citation after citations and to explain the reasoning why behind it. Not on;y that finding the creditable sources behind your theory and reasoning behind it. Granted The Grey School has made me look at things differently than I did 3 years ago. Even more so 7 years ago when I really started cracking down on my studies. Let me give you an idea of how far people and things can change in the near course of 10 years. When I broke free of what was turning into an abusive relationship I began recreating myself probably one of the best decisions I ever made. I dove into something I was passionate about which was witchcraft. Like some sort of hero being their trials, I will use my powers for good and good only. Oh, how that apple fell so far from the tree. Good and evil are only perspectives now. A tribe can sacrifice a virgin for the good of the tribe and an outsider can scream of the evils in their gods. One sees it as a gift to the gods for the tribe as the whole can prosper and the virgin can go willingly to save her tribe's man. Yet, the outsider looking in may value life differently as the tribe does. Not saying I perform in sacrifices. Just trying to show perspectives on different sides.
So in my heart good and good only. My husband was one of my friends at the time and did help guide me through my being path, yet he is a necromancer. Ah, the villain unfolds, or was he?
I remember going to his house to perform a tarot card reading I saw of evils and death which I will not go into detail about here. His realism and honesty were too much for my oblivious and optimistic mind. His constant use of black magicks constantly put me off. And the sprits oh the sprits. How they frightened me. The vibrations constantly given off were too much which tend to be frightening constantly feeling cold spots, shaking but not knowing why my body temperature never dropped. It was as if I had drunk too many energy drinks and you feel jittery. When we got to his home his roommate's dogs were even scared of him and remained cuddled up to me on the corner of the couch. After an hour I had asked him to take me home which he obligated frustrated and irritated of course. It was not a good time for me we didn't speak in a year's time.
The boyfriend I had at the time began looking at me differently as I advanced in my studies and began to get worried as well. Keep in mind using my gift for only what I thought was good. I didn't go to church and I really didn't favor the thought of being one of the masses. He began worried when I dove into the world of sexual manifestation. The theory went what greater power to the birth of manifestation along with the act itself the act to create birth with a small sacrifice of death as well (la petite Mortis). Sex magic became one of my big interests. I found great potency. The trick was to keep your mind focused on your manifestation and when the orgasm hit so did the manifestation of your desire. My practices made him as uneasy as my now husbands did. I felt insulted when questions of the church would arise, my research into the succubus, constantly being asked if I was cheating.
Don't get me wrong he was a good guy very decent but he couldn't handle me for what I was and the constant asking for me to change who I was. Finally, that relationship ended after he'd insulted a spirit I had summoned. I had an anchor for him and he was able to come and go as he pleased. The boyfriend being to mock my anchor. Which was a small statue of my dragon. See it took me 3 hours of meditation creating a portal and being able to negotiate with this spirit. Needless to say, I was completely drained after the whole ordeal and took about 3 days of recovery. I ended the relationship and came back to my now husband with a full-on apology. Talking about it still now triggers a kind of pain I see in his eyes. He began explaining to me what he really does and how black magick really operates. I took common misconceptions to heart and believed them. Hurting things I cared about and didn't understand. Yet, at the same time, we weren't ready to be together then like we are now. It was a learning experience. Now, I'm no longer frightened of sprits and often call upon them to aid me in what I need and are stronger than any army in my plight. They come to me with wisdom and different perspective. So when you look at someone with a judging eye remember to change of perspective and you may find a new respect for something or someone you loath, and be a little wiser.


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A Black Wizard Memo

20:51 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 256


My Dean hasn't graded my paper on my Ancestral prayer... Figures it usually takes him a week before a paper is graded, so I guess the next paper I get started on is sorcery and how it works. See there is a difference between high magick and low magick, I favor low magick the best for you to feel what is right in your spells. The task handed is one of writing down the corresponding elements and making a simple spell. Healing, Gaining money, Gaining a specific object, Gaining love and friendship, and doing well in school are spells one must make. Yet with so many options my mind is like ordered chaos. Looking at all these books open pages everywhere yet putting them all in one paper seems so limited as well. Yet I find beauty in simplicity. People often think it takes certain stones, herbs, and oils to achieve the effect they are looking for but forget the key ingredient. The self, the spirit, the will of one is much more powerful than some ingredient. You could spend tens and hundreds and thousands of dollars and never achieve the main goal they look for. It's the focus of your desired outcome. Granted they help keep focus and likes attract likes. But did this person take any time to bond and share energy with the item. The voodoo doll under the bed or on the shelf did you take time to make it or did you find it at the local metaphysic store? Or when you bought it did you take the time to bond with it? Touch it look for its imperfections? Most people don't. And who's to say the spell I wrote or created would work for another person? Is their connection to the rosemary I grew myself as potent as theirs? Is the anointing oil I made versus their better or worse? Granted I understand the reasoning of the task, yet I overthink things as well as should a spell should be. Who am I making this for what are the circumstances? I don't want another relationship I have one of my own. How am I to do a spell for money if I hold no job and am happy as a housewife? If I did do a spell for more money in my life would that make my husband workload more and I trade in seeing him over finances? Healing spells are always useful in which I have an army of self-made poppets. What objects could I want when I find what I need with just a walk in the woods? And hard work and studying are always rewarded with good grades and shortcuts often leave you short-handed. I make no money, I find no comfort in having friends because the majority of them are fake or try and feed their own egos. I suffer going to the public for the children so they can have social interaction
I recall going to the grocery store today and my eldest who is 7 asked me to invite an old friend and I cringed slightly and told her I didn't think we were friends anymore. She looked at me and asked me why I simply replied peer pressure. I didn't want to go to a restaurant and meet people I'm familiar with which would produce an anxiety attack. This was even before C-vid. Things about wizardry that they don't tell you. As you progress you're more highent to the energies around you. Even in my first lesson, I had opened a hidden gift. Everyone has a hidden gift even if you don't believe it. It's just accessing it through meditation and self-feeling is how you find it. Mine is reading minds. Yet, it's not like how they show in the movies where you hear someone sees voices. No, you have to know yourself deeply and truly. The voices you hear are your own but others' ideas and certain words pop in your head and the person says something or actions that follow behind. Yet, not always as well because the hearts and desires of man are dark and silent, when you access these thoughts and they feel of your own you then feel violated yet you've opened a door did you violate the person again by accidentally accessing their thoughts. It gets maddening at times and you lose track of your thoughts and the other persons. Also, the question of morality comes to play. A person's mind is a sacred space who am I to violate that? I guess enough procrastinating I might as well start that paper now. I'll post it in my spell area and I hope it helps anyone who can do a conversion and tweak it to their needs.


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A Black Wizard Memo

01:23 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 281


Day one on the Vampire's Rave

I am a Black Wizard and I attend the Grey School of Wizardry. I'm supposed to be writing a pry to invoke the spirits of my Ancestors for my Introduction to Hoodoo class. Yet, I ended up making Holy Oil for it. I found slight pleasure when I read into how to make it and in the scriptures stating by God, anyone who is to make the replica to this oil would be pretty much shunned. I had half an idea to give it to my great grandmother who often likes the trinkets I make and she constantly asks me if I believe in God and often avoids the question with a response like, we all believe in something. I can't say I do or that I don't. Yet what I do believe in are the powers of my ancestors and they are here to help me. I think back to the countless times someone has either moved in with me or shown up to my door and after their departure, I always ask that they leave and come back. Like throwing a coin into the Well and Wishing it happens. I'm a very anti-social creature. Every time I place my bones of possums rabbits in my braid I can't help but chant quiet and cunning. Which helps me improve my hidden status when I go out in public. Is it that bad that I don't if little Susie is going to her dad's this weekend. Or how Martha is avoiding her boyfriend who got her pregnant and now she can't stand his obsessiveness and won't leave her alone. Her fault for not listening to obsession spells and targeting people who ignore, more like hit it and quit it. People don't listen to good advice anymore or don't want to unless it's on social media. Yet, I'm getting off-topic. Maybe I should get started on that paper. But how can one find inspiration I mean come one. I've never been one to think and write down poetry. It should be spoken from the heart then and there how can one plan it. Or like a spell write this down write that down what did you do or not do. It's supposed to be felt and connected. Oh paper how I loath you sometimes. Who says magick has to be thought out. People and their ceremonial magick I envy you and your proper planning and correlations of when things are to be said movements matched the do's and don'ts, but I ask you, do you feel it? You are so immersed in what you should or shouldn't do and following directions do you feel the magick do you feel the intentions? Do you actually feel the fires you invoke, the burning warmth of love or lust you invoke before you? The urge of the fires forged beneath your bosom and the will to complete any task you put yourself forth? Can you feel the burning sensations of hate and utter dominance for those who have wronged you? Can you feel the life of water? The being that controls our body and what nourishes it and is guided by the movement of the moon? Can you feel its destructive forces as well? The rage can summon? The power of full and raw emotions the driver of love and action? How about the Earth or Wind both forces moving and crushing. Both grating and sustaining life on stabilizes and the other pushes in all directions. One can stand strong and can encourage or be irritated for non-movement. Constantly fighting each other? What of the spirit? The very life essence itself. Are you searching for such a spiritual experience you forget you are one? What spiritual experience are you looking for? One that's drug-inducing that you are constantly chasing after? Or the one that monks have trained for their entire life to find. what did they give up to reach such a state? Would you give up that cheeseburger or the loving touch of another? The experience of modern-day life. I suppose it's a preference. What is a spirit if it cannot enjoy itself in the way life was meant to be had? We must first apperacte life before death, yet in the never-ending cycle, it is those who had died before us to make life. To do as the heart desires is the true spirit. Not to say one should commit crimes only for the heart's desires for you will always have reactions to actions that create the field of energy and what you attract towards you. All knowledge will never be obtainable, laundry will never be caught up, death and taxes are always certain. It's what we do in the in-between that matters. ... I think I'll start on that paper now...


COMMENTS

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markus666
markus666
16:04 Nov 17 2021

To start the discussion about your entry, I will said is fascinating and grab the reader attention. You mentioned "Lust" You wrote, "Do you actually feel the fires you invoke, the burning warmth of love or lust you invoke before you?" Can you elaborate about that word, because, many people see lust at a sin.





CorvusUmbra
CorvusUmbra
20:20 Nov 17 2021

All amount of perspective example the Lust for life or to lust after another person a I see it as a descriptive feeling





Doru
Doru
04:17 Nov 26 2021

To lust, is to have passion for all you do and in doing so, your passion grows with each act.








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