CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs's Journal

CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs's Journal


Honor: 3,842    [ Give / Take ]


7 entries this month

The Graduate (C/O 2021)

03:07 May 29 2009
Times Read: 608

Alexis officially became a kindergarten graduate today. I am so very proud of her! Its so exciting for her and sad for me. lol. She is suppose to stay small forever and always be my little girl...... I had to fight back tears today....

I had to give Brandon the camera to do the video and pics because I am so short, but it was so cute. :) They had a poem and a couple of songs and they did little dances...... cutest thing ever!

I am going to get a frame, and the kindergarten diploma..... is going in it! lol.


Lined up to go into graduation with best friend Kady.


Walking by mommy and daddy (smiling all pretty for daddy) on the way to the stage.


Sitting in front of the audience posing for daddy to take a picture.


Holding the folder that has the diploma in it and her super hero picture. (cat gerl)


The boyfriend (At least we call them that because they talk about each other ALL the time and flirt and play and danced at the wedding reception from the previous journal entry.. they like one another in a big crushing way, Alexis has admitted it.. Brandon not so much yet but turns all red and gets shy when its brought up.)


Young and First Loves.......




03:17 May 29 2009

That is so freaking cute! And that kids face in the background is priceless, lol.

19:05 May 29 2009

Aww those pictures are soo CUTE. She looks like she had an awesome time at her graduation.... I remember my daughter's well, and my daughter will be leaving elementary school in a little over a week to go to middle school. *sigh* I say we just bottle up their energy and keep them little for a bit longer.


Nosey ass people

07:13 May 25 2009
Times Read: 639

You know whats really annoying?

NOSEY people that know you don't like them but for some reason feel compelled to check in on you every time you make a journal entry. WTF is up with that. They don't comment which is fine because Id assume shoot my big toes off than hear from them.

Tonight I put my journal entry up and low and behold.... not even 5 full minutes goes by and BAM there it is ... the annoyance of a person I have total distaste for come flocking about to read something about me.

What hoping my life is shittier than yours? Get a life and stay outta mine please. It really doesn't concern you any longer, and hasn't for a long time now nor will it ever again, as I really have no desire for it to.

No point of retaliation in a journal entry either as I will never even see it, cant be bothered to give it a second thought of even checking.

If you are someone I speak with regularly or someone that I have never had an altercation with, (which the number is high as I get on well with most) this entry is not directed towards you. Only directed at one or two people, and if you know were mates than don't worry because you're not the one to set me on this rant. lol.



07:29 May 25 2009

I get that too. I just want them to SMURF OFF

07:31 May 25 2009

EXACTLY! It's like..... If Ive not spoken to you in years, I'm not going to now! WHY keep on checking in on me, because at the end of the day, its a waste of your time if I don't want a thing to do with you is it not? All it will do is make me angry because I feel stalked. I really cant be bothered with drama. lol

08:10 May 25 2009


14:04 May 25 2009

I get that too: and, she's a 'senior.'


It all comes full circle

06:54 May 25 2009
Times Read: 641

And once again, here I am sitting here.... its nearly 2 a.m. I cant sleep, and yet I can cry. WTF is that! I can do so well for about a month and then BAM it all comes boiling out. Is it a bad thing when you don't care enough to exist any longer, when part of you just doesn't care who or what is here to keep you here... you just want the pain to stop..... but then part of you says no no no you have to stay here.... she needs you... and you find yourself arguing with yourself...... not another person but yourself!

You try to go on.... you try to forget.... you try everything possible to mend it, to put the shattered pieces together, and then when you think you're doing a good job, one little pieces breaks away and it happens to be that piece that was holding it all together so it all comes crashing down and leaves you back at step one again... When does one become accustomed to being sad and when does it become part of every day life so much that you no longer acknowledge it? Please someone tell me that day comes and that this wont be the way I am forever....

I tried to reach out tonight, to move forward, to keep trudging up the mountain, instead.... I lost my grip and fell all the way back to the bottom of the mountain, and I don't know if I want to drink, walk, drive, go to the cemetery, lay in bed and cry, or to be honest just go down some pills and hope to not wake up.... (not that I would do the last one, but thats how I feel right now.)

I honestly feel like I'm losing everything.... I know that sounds like a huge statement, but in a sense I am and to think I have an eternity of this to go through at least it seems that way.



14:57 May 25 2009

Oh Tabs ~hugs you~, I truely hope you did get some sleep after all and that you somehow feel more healed and complete this morning. You won't be sad forever. The grieveing of missing someone thats still alive, but not there, I comprehend that. Wish I would have stayed up late last night to be there for you when you were so sad.


The Paper Mache Seahorse Part 2

15:36 May 23 2009
Times Read: 653

Ok, so we finished the paper mache seahorse on this past Monday, and it was a HUGE hit. We ran out of time so it doesn't have a fin, but that was ok in this situation. lol. During the painting phase Alexis did most of that and what bits of the painting I was doing she managed to paint me instead of the seahorse! lol. Oh well, a true artist always gets messy and that's fine by me. I took pictures of the seahorse to share with you all. :) It was overall a fun experience for her and I both. A good chance for us to spend quality time together doing something we both love and all the while making it a learning experience as well. :)

When looking at the photos you may need to reference back to the previous entry to remember her facts about the seahorse as the model we've made coincides her facts.

The Seahorse 1


The Seahorse 2



14:30 May 24 2009

omg, that came out freaking awesome!!!!!!!!

17:58 May 24 2009

Thanks. :)

It came home with a broken tail that I will have to attempt to correct, but its still attached at least. lol. Took some time, but she helped a lot and was very pleased with the outcome. :)

14:07 May 25 2009

.. is that a toilet role for the nose??

And, how come no sticky-back plastic??

[A British Blue-Peter joke.]

Shoot me.

NB: It looks frellin cool.


The Paper Mache Seahorse.

14:17 May 16 2009
Times Read: 663

The Seahorse:

Alexis has to do a presentation in her kindergarten class, she was assigned seahorses..... she has to give three facts and bring a visual......

She doesn't want to do a poster board because she wants to be different so we are creating a paper mache sea horse that will coincide with her facts.....

Facts and what paper mache sea horse will be able to do:

1. Sea horses change colors to hide from enemies/ we are painting it two different colors one on each side so she can show that they change colors.

2. Sea horses can look in more then one direction at the same time. For example they can look in front of them and behind them all at once./ We are putting the wobbly eyes on it so this can be demonstrated.

3. Sea horses eat about 3000 pieces of food a day because they have no teeth or stomach./ I have put a tube inside of it and connected it to the mouth so that she can feed it as she states this fact.

So yes I am doing most the work on this but she has helped some, to much for a 5 year old to do alone, we are still in the building and paper macheing phase and I hope to have that all completed by the end of the day so that tomorrow we can have the painting phase and if not tomorrow the next day have the drawing details phase...... this thing is due Tuesday, so you know what I will be working on ALL day long. lol. It is beginning to stress me out!

At least once we hit the painting phase she will be able to do most that by herself.

I suppose this is what happens when you take an artsy mum and an artsy child put them together and tell them to make a visual aide to go along with a presentation and give them more then a couple of days to complete it. LOL!



00:16 May 23 2009

pictures, pictures, we need pictures :)


My sisters Best friends Wedding.

14:14 May 16 2009
Times Read: 664

So Ive known the bride for ages and shes kinda like a sister because Ive watched her grow up..... so of course I had to be as helpful as possible in her wedding and hope it to be the best day for her. Here it is..... the story of the wedding.....

The Wedding:

I got up at the ass crack of dawn last Saturday (May 9th) to take my sister to have her hair and nails done, rushed back home grabbed my stuff and child, headed to the place we were all meeting to get ready, and from there it all became even more hectic. lol.

Cliff notes version: My sister (the maid of honor) did the brides makeup and hair, then she did my child's (the flower girl) hair... I got ready on my own, and then we headed off to the church.

We got there and rushed round unloading, then went up to have rehearsal. We rushed back down stairs with a measly half hour to have all the dresses on, laced up, and makeup completed..... THIS was not going to happen that fast. lol.

Mind you I was not a bridesmaid or anything just the parent of the flower girl and friend of the bride, BUT I did as much work in this wedding as my sister. lol. So here I go lacing up this corset dresses the bridal party has to wear while the brides mum is lacing her... and let me tell you these corset dresses omg.... it took me at least 15 minutes to lace each girl. Thanks to the gods there were only two! lol. So we get them all ready which already put us behind schedule, and I head up to the chapel to sit with the guests except on the front row where I can handle the children if they need to sit and be looked after....... so were waiting and waiting, and since I am the one that burned the wedding music to disks I knew what songs to expect...... so I hear the instrumental version of stairway to heaven /led zeppelin start playing and know that the mothers are about to come down the aisle and I watch and they are ushered in... and then all of a sudden there's a pause in the ceremony... now I'm sitting with the brides mum and a lady comes down and says don't worry there's a delay the bride has fallen she is hurt but we have it under control....... I offer them my first aid kit and she declines it and walks off. As it would turn out the bride was very hurt and cut up her foot and sprained her ankle quite badly because of something happening with her shoes...... jumping ahead...... we get back to the wedding.... ACDC/Back in black (the instrumental version of course) begins playing and the groomsmen and bridesmaids, best man and maid of honor, and flower girl and ring barer walk down the aisle take their places and then the music changes to the instrumental version of radioheads/Karma Police begins playing and the bride is walked in by her biological (shes adopted) brother and hes having to half carry her because she cant walk and was determined to get down there without a wheelchair. She is forcing a smile but you can tell she is in major pain.... so the ceremony happens, pronounce you husband and wife... kiss the bride yada yada, out everyone goes to the reception... bridal party stays up for pics, I go down to get the music started for the reception then come back up to take photos for my sister because she wants black and whites and it is my job to handle that for her....... ok soooooo bridal party goes down stairs we do the cake the dance the whole shabang, we clean up and start to leave... the groom at the request of the bride throws the evil demon shoes in the garbage, the brides car is at the place where we were getting ready the grooms car is at the church. The bride goes with friends to the ER, the Groom takes things to the apartment, I follow the groom with my sister to take more things to their apartment....... we unload, Groom gets in my car we drive him to brides car he gets in brides car and goes to the ER..... I go home and crash out and get up the next morning to go to work at 9 am although I didn't go to bed until 3 am that morning........

and THAT is the cliff notes version of the wedding......... LMAO!



02:42 May 17 2009

Sounds like that was quite an event! Shoes and all.


The Tooth

03:51 May 04 2009
Times Read: 679

It is official, Bitty's tooth was pulled this morning by one of my sisters. It is currently under her pillow waiting on the tooth fairy.....

I feel jipped in all this because when I was a child I received fifty cents....

Bitty is getting 7 dollars! NOT all from me mind you.... this is a collective effort from different people, aunts, grandparents, and myself. Ill just tell her it must have been because it was her first tooth. lol. If I don't tell her that Ill be broke before she loses them all! lol.



10:19 May 04 2009

That's inflation for you! I remember when it was sixpence (2 and a half pence). I was over the moon when it went up to a shilling (5 pence) LOL

02:12 May 05 2009

glad that tooth finally came out :)

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