I went grocery shopping with my dad and the cashier starts singing to me about my coupons. I think I like being randomly serenaded.
I swear the internet is stalking me. I looked at Dominoes pizza deals and Deb shops summer dresses, and now every other ad I see is about pizza or has a dress in it.
What is the "real world" and why do you think I am not privy to it? Is there some fake world I am experiencing?
Sometimes I wonder if I am the exception to the rules- the rules of life:
2. School- Elementary, Middle, and High
5. Entry Level Job
6. Series of Promotions
I have managed to fulfill steps 1,2, and 3.
What if 4 & 5 are not meant for me? Why am I continually being told I am not the best candidate for the position- whether the position involves skills I went to school for or flipping burger?
I am not going to give up my relentless job search, but I am going to pick up hobbies that make me happy. My mother is not speaking to me again because she thinks the cheap sewing machine I bought is my new career. Well, my current career, unemployed student, is not paying at all. Does it matter either way? I say again, I am not giving up the relentless job search but at least starving artists can sell there art on the internet.
I'm always at a loss for words with strangers and acquaintances- struggling to go beyond "How are you," and "The weather is quite nice." Conversations are truly master puzzles. Phone calls are 100x worse.
Complained to my teacher that you can't accurately cite sources on a timed closed-book test and he changed my score from a 85% to a 90%. I am pleased.
My dad keeps telling people I'm not sick and that I have allergies. I keep telling him that I am on prescription allergy medication and that I am 100% certain I have a cold...or something that causes sore throat, chest congestion, and fatigue.
I guess it does not matter, but I really can not wait for it to pass over.
She is angry at me over a cup I tried to recycle. Still angry.
I am angry that she is angry at me over a cup. At this point, I am glad she is not talking to me because ,when she was, she was always asking me to do things for her. I am not retrieving any cups of ice or sodas today.
My mother ignored me all day.What have I done wrong now? I wish I knew.
I just feel so frustrated...angry. And hurt. Now, more than ever, I wish to be an emotional black hole.
The idea of not feeling anything, becoming as emotionally empty as the pages I mean to write on these days, appeals to me.
Interesting how emotional hurt physically manifests in the body.
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