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JinxHeartSmile's Journal


JinxHeartSmile's Journal

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Honor: 24    [ Give / Take ]

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6 entries this month
 

22:39 Apr 24 2015
Times Read: 321


We keep arguing! He insists that because I lied about something small, I will lie about larger things. And keeps accusing me of cheating or flirting with other guys when I am not. And I've gone so far as to show him my facebook and text messages, but he does not believe me. Is this a ruse? Is he cheating?


And he set up ground rules: not to text/call males that are not related to me. What nonsense is this? Why can't I text/call whoever I want? But he said he would leave if I did not agree.


Then he asks if he is wasting his time with me. I don't know, are you? That is what I want to say. But I don't. Becasue if he believes I am the liar or the cheat why hasn't he just left. I cannot answer that question for him.


He is driving me crazy.


He keeps saying he loves me, but times like these do not feel like love.


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01:57 Apr 20 2015
Times Read: 334


He went from my Excalibur to my Black Star to quite possibly my Soul.


And he said he loved me.


COMMENTS

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Angelus
Angelus
01:05 Apr 21 2015

and what did you say in return?





 

23:03 Apr 18 2015
Times Read: 342


Ever feel good about something you know you should feel bad for? It's something that not even in the grey area of your moral compass; you know its wrong. But so good.


Me and the source of my agony are talking again. Well, more than talking...


I fear this "happiness" won'y last but I feel very attached to the source of my agony. Could this be something like love? Something close to it?


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Relationship Trouble

20:06 Apr 05 2015
Times Read: 358


Crap x1000! OMG! I've done it again. Honestly, why? 1000x Why!Every time I try to end things, or intentionally do things to put him off, it does not work. He can call my bluff- but how? I want him to end things so I don't have to be the bad guy, you know?


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01:47 Apr 02 2015
Times Read: 362


So at work, this guy gave me his number and the first person that popped into my mind after I realized - the source of my agony.


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04:42 Apr 01 2015
Times Read: 341


Yesterday- junk food.

Today- funny youtube videos.


I cannot decide if things are looking up because it has not dawned on the source of my agony that I do not want to talk anymore. I do not know how he will handle it- but presumably not well if our past arguments are any indicator.


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