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JinxHeartSmile's Journal


JinxHeartSmile's Journal

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3 entries this month
 

Rant

00:39 Aug 20 2015
Times Read: 286


If you want to leave me, leave! Don't threaten to leave me for not deleting a stupid facebook post that my mom put on my wall. I did not dignify the post with a response. I ignored it.


And now your ignoring me, even after I deleted it. You say I should have wanted to deletely. I don't know what you say I should want.


If you don't want to talk. You want to ignore my calls, texts, and messages. Fine. If you are seriously thinking about leaving, do it. Don't leave in suspense.


Leave! Leave! Leave!


Or stay! I want to you stay!


I don't know what I want! I don't know what I should want!


Stand by my side, after I defended my choicee to be with you to my friends and family! Or don't! Maybe they were right about you!


I should have known !!


But its too late now. I practically gift wraped my heart and gave it to you!


And you say you don't ned me. That you love me, but could walk away. I'm the fool. You don't love me, the way I love you.


I almost want to die. Is being life-less the only way of being emotion-less?


So leave! Stay! I don't care! Just stick by your choice. If you stay, stay forever. If you leave.. someone help me- stop the pain. I don't even feel like breathing


COMMENTS

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Angelus
Angelus
00:02 Aug 27 2015

true communication is the harderst, isn't it.





 

19:49 Aug 13 2015
Times Read: 299


Yesterday, he completely blew up on the phone- yelling and cursing, saying stop.


We were talking, and everything was fine. But the call dropped. And silly me, I call him back, and keeps hanging up. And texts me stop. So I text him back what is going on?


And he calls me yelling and screaming, when I say F***ing stop, you stop. Why am I stressing him out or pushing his MF***ing buttons, etc.


And I was completely shell shocked. Did not even see it coming. Like WTH just happened.


Is it his job? Commute? What would cause and a person blow up like that for no reason? And he was telling me to chill out.


Something is very wrong this picture.


And he never believes me. I always having to prove I'm doing what I say I'm doing.


This relationship is on a crash course, it seems like. But I cannot bring myself to jump off the train. I know I'm going to die.


Today, the future does not seem bright.


COMMENTS

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02:59 Aug 08 2015
Times Read: 318


I think I'm in love and I keep trying to make him happy because he loves me too. But I always mess up. And when I do, he ignores me. And the silence is the worst. I wish I did not exist.


COMMENTS

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