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JinxHeartSmile's Journal


JinxHeartSmile's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

Vent

05:10 Jun 28 2020
Times Read: 84


Monday's bleed into Tuesdays bleed into Wednesday's bleeds into Thursday...its all starting to feel like the same day, with Skype meetings for work sprinkled in. The monotony...

Imagining myself completely safe from disease on a beach in my new mermaid bikini....some day

I want the sand beneath my toes & ocean waves at my feet, while the sun rises


COMMENTS

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Thoughts and feelings

06:19 Jun 26 2020
Times Read: 125


It's been awhile. But I'm going to lay everything out on the table.

My cousin, my childhood friend, though you are no longer breathing, you now are in my dreams. We were the same age- why are you gone, instead of me? Remember the trees we used to climb, the family cookouts, our trip to the them park, the 12 hour road trip? I keep thinking about all the time we shared, and feel guilty for not reconnecting in recent years. Because now your gone. I saw you- your body was grey. It was unnatural. No doubt, the most difficult thing I've done this year is look at you and cry.

Former coworker, friendly face, you succombed to your cancer. My heart aches for you and your family.

I have a roof, food, a job. I should feel lucky to be alive in a pandemic. Not stir crazy. Not guilty for complaining about my cancelled vacation, when someone somewhere does not have the roof, food, and job. I am lost.


COMMENTS

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