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LordWolf's Journal


LordWolf's Journal

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16 entries this month
 

the hunt...

15:06 Sep 28 2023
Times Read: 115


she ran through the forest knowing he wasnt far behind. earlier he had laughed as he said he would give her a chance to run, a head start of ten minutes. the bastard had known he could easily outrun her, and he understood the forest. she tried not to think of what his plans for her might be, but instead focused on the moment.
as she ran, she came to a shallow stream...she knew that he could cross running water, that the tale was a myth , like so many other myths, but she also knew she could use it to throw him off.

she stepped into the cool water, crossed to the other side, made very clear impressions in the mud with her shoes and walked a few more steps. she then carefully walked backwards, putting her feet in the same tracks she had left, reentered the stream and walked in it with the flow of the water, so anything stirred up would stay with her and not give a hint as to where she was.

she followed the stream for almost 100 yards, then cutting back, she started to move to where she knew his car was. she had noticed that he kept a spare key taped to the back of his sun visor when he drove her here earlier.

that seemed like 100 years ago, but now he had become a predator and she was his prey.

she moved silently, listening for any tell tale rustling of leaves, or the breaking of a stick. but all she heard was the sound of the insects, and bird song.

she finally found the tree line, and was able to see in the distance across the open field, the car, and by that was the road. she was amazed and elated that she had made it this far, but also knew now was not the time to celebrate. she carefully scanned the tree line, and seeing nothing, started to sprint towards the car. she ran so hard, she feared her heart would burst, but she got closer and closer, and then she was there!
she opened the door (thank all of the gods he hadnt locked it), and reached for the key. she didnt feel it at first, then she pulled the visor down to look, found the key neatly taped to the visor, and breathing a sigh of relief put it in the ignition.
the ignition wouldnt turn. she tried again, and thought to herself to calm down, take a breath and try again.
"are you looking for this?"
startled by the mans voice, she let out a short scream, and looked at him with terror in her eyes as his arm went around her throat.
"did you really think i would leave the key to this car inside of this car? that would be asking to get it stolen, and only happens in movies. seems i have caught you." and with that he smiled his most evil smile.

she looked back at him in the rear view mirror. he had been waiting in the back of the car all of the time. she had seen the tarp in the backseat earlier, and thought it was for covering up something something.. or perhaps he would put it on the ground for....whatever...if he caught her.
she sighed deeply, realizing she had lost the little game.
then she smiled.
"ok, you caught me" and then she smiled wickedly, "now what are you going to do with me?"

he looked at her long and hard...then she felt her heart sink as he started to describe his plans. his perverse and wicked plans.

"i thought i would start with tickles..."

and the screams (and laughter) went on and on.....

fin


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
17:17 Sep 28 2023

That was very engaged and the ending got me laughing so hard that I almost fell off my seat. I love your sense of humour. 😆🤣🤣





 

more thoughts...

02:29 Sep 28 2023
Times Read: 128


would zombies run away from necrophilies? hmmmm


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
15:03 Sep 28 2023

....and I thought that I had random thoughts. What it would be like to see into your mind dear brother..that would be interesting.





LordWolf
LordWolf
15:26 Sep 28 2023

but also perhaps terrifying.





MiaJ
MiaJ
01:16 Sep 29 2023

Never. You do not scare me. You are like a British chip (or fries where you are) you have a hard and crispy exterior (no rude pun intended) and all fluffy and soft on the inside (again..no rude pun intended).





 

thoughts...

02:27 Sep 28 2023
Times Read: 130


for a man who seldom intrudes, once invited in, i am difficult to be rid of....

and i never desert a friend. i never have.


COMMENTS

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Lamadia79
Lamadia79
02:30 Sep 28 2023

You come across to me as pretty decent bloke :)





MiaJ
MiaJ
15:02 Sep 28 2023

As Lamadia79 said, a very decent guy.





LordWolf
LordWolf
15:26 Sep 28 2023

no...im a bloke! get it right! lol





MiaJ
MiaJ
01:18 Sep 29 2023

Bloke/guy whatever. You are still my decent friend who makes me smile every time that we chat.





 

one of those nights

06:31 Sep 27 2023
Times Read: 166


i dont know what happend, but my message center died a horrible death. working with the higher ups now to try and fix, but so far, no joy. as of now my cache is clear and my inbox messages have been deleted, but still all i get when i try and check messages is louis pont du loc telling me that the file isnt found on the server.
sigh.
just to make it more interesting, same thing happens when i try to go to one friends profile, and only that one.

ever just feel like ranting at an inanimate object? yup...
W


COMMENTS

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Nekirena
Nekirena
06:40 Sep 27 2023

We will get it sorted. :)





MiaJ
MiaJ
10:28 Sep 27 2023

I fixed it on my side. Check out the advice that was given to me in my technical issues post.





LordWolf
LordWolf
14:49 Sep 27 2023

I tried all of those things, but alas, this message center is no more! it has ceased to be! its expired and gone to meet its maker! this is a late message center! its a stiff! bereft of life, it rests in peace! its pushing up the daisies! its rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. this is an ex-message center! :(





 

musings.

01:27 Sep 27 2023
Times Read: 184


you seem like a ray of golden moonlight
in a dark and cloudy sky
a passing scent of wild jasmine
a smile when i want to cry
no poem could really paint you
no photo captures pain
but i should remain out here
alone in the pouring rain

cant you feel my darkness?
i never saw the sign
my unrelenting thirst for you
you are branded in my mind
so torn i want to run from you
and protect your broken heart
my caress is a jagged shard of glass
i cant imagine harming you
yes, i should now depart

yet wisdom? not my forte
my heart overrules my mind
i know it cannot happen
perhaps to disappear would be kind
but the sky is still raging
as i stand here in the storm

thinking of her gentle heart
feeling only scorn

scorn for these thoughts and feelings
for things i cant control
scorn for my emotions
scorn for my impassioned soul.


note for any of my friends that find this. its a melancholy night, with a storm raging outside. so i thought id sit and write a bit...and this verbal diarrhea spewed forth from my keys. so i dont want people worrying or sending notes of "are you ok". im fine... im just feeling very introspective tonight.


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
01:20 Sep 29 2023

A lovely poem if not slightly melancholic.





 

my immortal

04:51 Sep 26 2023
Times Read: 213


no, not my song. this was performed by the band Evanescence, but i include it here tonight because during the course of chatting with a friend, my mind started to think of one who i deeply loved, and was with for years. then it all ended. some people can just "turn off their hearts" when their love leaves them. that is not a talent i have ever possessed. this is currently the song im most likely to play when i sit down to my piano.
W
.............................................................................................................................


I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
All of me... me... me..


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
08:33 Sep 26 2023

To hurt is to have loved and to have loved is the greatest gift.

Forever loves, both reciprocated yet cannot be.

Love can change so maybe an ending should be viewed as a beginning of something greater. You both are connected and you sense her just as she senses you.

That is stronger than any love. That is a true bond.

I maybe wrong and you can correct me on it but I just feel it.





 

raining

21:10 Sep 25 2023
Times Read: 227


its dark and stormy outside but i wanted to quickly drop this note. this is a perfect day to play melancholy songs on my piano. I just found out that a dear friend, a sister of darkness, had a terrible weekend, and i wish she were hear to listen. still, ill play for her anyway. perhaps it will sooth her hurt spirit.
as the rain blows outside.
W


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
00:20 Sep 26 2023

I feel your sweetness ever close my dear brother. The sweetness will be reciprocated should you ever need to chat. x





 

sexuality: straight? gay? bi?

19:23 Sep 25 2023
Times Read: 235


as ive lived my life and observed the world around me, ive come to the conclusion that the identifiers of straight, gay and bi are just simplifications to allow people to be put in categories.
I personally hate being categorized, but I understand people dont want to look at nuances, they like simplicity.

I have concluded that there really probably are no completely straight, gay, or even bi people.
huh??

ok, so lets say that we have a number line that goes from 0 on one side (absolutly straight, never even had the slightest gay thought, and could be drunk with a good looking person of the same sex, naked, in a hot tub, and would get zero charge out of it) to 10 (absolutly gay, someone of the opposite sex could never never get a tingle from them, even if there was absolute trust, some alcohol, nudity, hot tub, etc).

i personally think that labels are just limiters and its all about preferences. my preference is for girls with black hair, pale skin, with a certain figure in a certain age group, and a certain intelligence level. but ive also been involved (passionately) with girls that dont fit the description. sometimes its a different age group, or a different body type, or perhaps a different race. and yes, ive been involved with members of my own sex as well. in the end, so that i can be categorized ill sometimes say im straight...but sometimes, i might say im bi. thing is on that number line , a true bi would be a 5, but im not. again when it comes to preferences, i tend to like girls more, but the occasional boy has gotten my attention.

point is that our society loves putting all of us in our little cubby holes and then telling us that we should be proud that we have been categorized. i personally choose to just live my life, love who i want to love without labels and tell society to kiss my pale white ass. if you like to eat cake, enjoy it! if you prefer pie, same! if you sometimes want to mix and match, why not? people will always judge...its a sadly normal state, and what is funny is watching people judging others for being too judgmental. priceless. we all know how once it was common for (some) straight people to judge and insult gay people... now ive seen (some) gay people do the same at straights. ive also seen (some) gay and (some) straight people judge and insult bi people. again...just people wanting to find love, and if its not for you, then walk away. everyone else can just enjoy life.
my two cents, your opinion may differ...and thats also ok.
W


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
20:37 Sep 25 2023

That is very true. Labels do not distinguish what is the most important thing, our journey of finding our soulmate (two different souls that are meant to meet and connect) or more closely, A rare event whereby two halves of the same soul that have separated long ago are now meant to find the other half to complete itself. This is called 'the flames'. If you are a split soul that has lost its other half and has found it, you cannot explain it. You just know that you have been fated with this other half since time began. They are a part of you and the relationship does not have to be romantic, it can be platonic or familial.

That is life. We are made to connect.





MiaJ
MiaJ
20:40 Sep 25 2023

I meant that it is called 'twin flames'.





LordWolf
LordWolf
21:11 Sep 25 2023

I very much understood.





 

vampires, vampyres, dhamphir, etc.

15:44 Sep 25 2023
Times Read: 245


I am sometimes asked (especially here) what makes me a vampire. also some of the typical questions about being dead, crosses, garlic, etc...
So here is a bit of explanation of how I see things. Your own mileage may vary of course.

The classic vampire of folklore (i wont even examine Hollywoods attempts to bring vampires to the screen. while fun tales, they have little to no bearing on the folklore) is someone who has died, often someone that is involved with magic, and usually very evil. when the sun sets, their SPIRIT rises from their coffin, and finds someone, often a family member, and takes away life energy. Interestingly most of the stories dont include blood drinking. Also the spirit may shape shift into a wolf or other animal associated with the night. So those that consider themselves "lycans" (i dont like that term since it originated with a series of movies) and vampire hybrids, were they dead, they would fit into this category. This is the one who you have to dig up, drive a stake, metal or wood, through the heart, take out the heart, burn it, cut off the head , stuff with garlic, then cook at 300 degrees F for one hour for every ten pounds of body weight, then serve with a nice side salad and.... sorry, got off track there for a moment. I think you get the idea.

another version of this is the "vampire spirit", a spirit that hasnt even been incarnated , that was never a person, but is pure energy. i havent encountered this, and i know of very little in folklore that would point to them, but some do consider this to be a thing, so i include it here. its certainly a possibility.

we now come to the vampyre...this is the most common term for a living person that requires a little something extra, something from another person. it might be energy, it might be an emotion, it might be that special energy from sex, or it might be (a tiny bit of) blood. this person doesnt seem to have many traits to differentiate him/her from everyone else. some are stronger than they might appear, or heal very quickly, or have difficulties in sunlight, have some animal traits, etc. No coffins required, but can be a decorative item (at least mine is).

other names for this might be dhamphir or umpyre... in folklore there was a thought that one was either born this way (sometimes from an incubus visiting mom, and giving her a little something extra) or from the vampiric spirit interacting with the pregnant woman in other ways. one note i find of interest...one of the traits of living vampires is supposedly a very high libido, and they are intensely sexual beings.

I hope this helps some of those that ask the questions (and i encourage questions since that is how you learn), and if i can be of service, message me directly.
be well
W


COMMENTS

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traveling in time and other mental ramblings...

18:36 Sep 24 2023
Times Read: 274


i feel like a time traveler at times, and so i suppose i am. everyone travels from the time of their birth to the time of their death, and sees the changes in society in their lives.
being a student of history, i am familiar with times that were well before my own, and often feel connected to those times. I have "accustomed" to many different "norms", but some things are far harder to grow accustomed to than others.
many things in society are basically the same now as they were in 1798, yet some things now are wildly different than they were in 1998.
its amusing when people decide that X is something that must be accepted and that Y is the worst evil ever known...yet people in 100 years will probably be laughing at both sides of todays most divisive arguments.
something ive learned is to be able to be a chameleon. learn to fit in and learn the ways of each age as things change, even as you feel as if some have lost their minds.

try and remember there really is nothing new, and while people change the names in order to try and sound more politically correct, the things that are acceptable now, will be considered horrible at some point in the future...perhaps in your own lifetime.

so try and smile a bit, dont take yourself so seriously, and enjoy the life you have. it may be longer than you or anyone else expects...or it may end this very day.
but no matter how sad you ever are, recall that if you seek death, someday you will find it. why rush the inevitable? and if you rush your own death you may find yourself alive again...having to learn whatever lesson you avoided all over again. or, perhaps this is our only life, our once single chance, but perhaps the afterlife is spent thinking of the joys of having a physical form. either way, life isnt meant to waste.


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
08:05 Sep 25 2023

This is very true.





 

Amaranth...a song

22:02 Sep 21 2023
Times Read: 293


Amaranth
Verse 1
Amaranth used, to hold my head up
Now lost in sorrow, my love for her has been crushed
Covered by the night Amaranth reaches,
Covered by the night Amaranth reaches

Pre-Chorus
Who is dawn?
The devil is all I know

Chorus
Amaranth was on my left insides
Amaranth read the lines I opened up
And Amaranth said my name, Amaranth said your better now
Serenade her with sighs

Verse 2
The mother of broken dreams
Amaranth took our story and wept for days
Amaranth came from a broken home
Little way, little voice so lost

Pre-Chorus
Amaranth came from nowhere
Amaranth came from nowhere

Chorus
Amaranth was on my left insides
Amaranth read the lines I opened up
And Amaranth said my name, Amaranth said your better now
Serenade her with sighs

Bridge
I know Amaranth loves me, but I have no say
Amaranth dreams of me, before her mind gets blown away

Chorus
Amaranth was on my left insides
Amaranth read the lines I opened up
And Amaranth said my name, Amaranth said your better now
Serenade her with sighs


COMMENTS

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MiaJ
MiaJ
08:06 Sep 25 2023

I love these lyrics.





krazypawz78
krazypawz78
07:55 Apr 18 2024

Sweet tune





LordWolf
LordWolf
18:08 Apr 18 2024

im getting more serious about going back and writing music to the lyrics ive been writing. Ill be hitting this one soon





 

working out songs on piano...

05:12 Sep 20 2023
Times Read: 306


so i sat down at my piano today, and in honor of the wheel of the year turning towards samhain, i worked out the song "come little children" from Hocus Pocus. I always found that a haunting song, and with a little research i discovered two more verses. now i cant get it out of my head LOL.
W


COMMENTS

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Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
14:45 Jan 13 2024

i love this song!!





 

the seasons change...

05:10 Sep 20 2023
Times Read: 307


the summer has been hot and dry. in some places people see the warm friendly sun, and accept its gifts...but here, it becomes deadly, and without rain, all becomes devastation.
but autumn is near...its still hot at mid day...but the days are noticeably shorter now, and sometimes i catch the smallest whiff of the smell of autumn in the air. its nothing i can describe, but even without a calendar, id know that scent.
mabon is thursday and i need to honor the shining ones with mead.
then only six weeks until samhain.
I havent honored samhain as i once did for several years...this year however, i am finding what i once was again.
i need the spirituality...the mystery....the darkness.


COMMENTS

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the vampire chronicles on tv...

06:58 Sep 10 2023
Times Read: 347


so very disappointed in this project. I personally thought the movie "interview with the vampire" was about as good as any novel adaptation has ever been. then the movie "queen of the damned" came out and it was sad. the soundtrack is amazing, but that is the only good part of this to me. I was hoping the vampire chronicles might pick up at the end of Interview...but instead they changed the time period of interview, they changed pretty much everything about louis...a bit surprised they didnt cast a woman for the role since they seemed determined to diversify the original story.
i suppose im a bit of a traditionalist....
I prefer an actor playing dracula to be a white male. I prefer an actor playing blade to be a black male. I prefer an actor playing a character to actually resemble the description of that character.
grumble grumble. oh well, just thought id share my thoughts. agree or disagree, im a firm believer in everyone being entitles to their own beliefs...
but no one gets to have their own "facts".
W


COMMENTS

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Lamadia79
Lamadia79
17:37 Sep 20 2023

I agree with you on this matter completely . This adaptation has not been released in the UK yet but from what I have seen online Im not impressed at all . Its definitely done to appease certain factions . Im attempting to write my own story about a Vampire . If I was ever lucky enough to have it made into a film or tv series I would be as made as hell if they tried to tamper with it .





LordWolf
LordWolf
04:35 Sep 25 2023

I get annoyed when they cast actors that dont really resemble historical figures but at least are the same race/sex. casting sigourney weaver to play shaka zulu would make laugh, and i might watch it satirically, but i couldnt take it seriously. but i also get annoyed when people screw around with literary characters. a few years ago, they made a tv show about sherlock holmes and dr watson...they updated the characters to modern times....which was the first strike against it in my book. second, dr watson was an asian woman.. at that point, why not just create a new character? are these people so without imagination that they cant create a new character? as i said in my original comment, imagine a remake of blade...as played by margot robbie. margot robbie as a day walking vampire slayer might make for a fun film...but i couldnt wrap my brain around her playing blade.





 

thoughts of piano...

06:48 Sep 10 2023
Times Read: 348


spent a bit of time earlier working on "music of the night" from phantom of the opera. I do love this song since it speaks to me on a very deep level.
learning piano has been an adventure for me and when I make significant progress, its very satisfying.
as satisfying as sex and blood....
W


COMMENTS

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Disenchantment
Disenchantment
04:18 Sep 22 2023

I also love this song.





LordWolf
LordWolf
00:14 Sep 25 2023

it says so much more than people realize.





 

im back on VR...seeking my inner darkness

05:49 Sep 09 2023
Times Read: 367


ive spent too much time for the last several years living a role, and i fear ive lost ...or at least mislaid part of myself. my dark part, my inner darkness that doesnt exactly thrive in the 9 to 5 world. i have been a creature of the light for too long, and i crave a return to my true nature. if this seems trite, i assure you my dear reader (whoever you may be) that it represents my true feelings...interpret it as you will.
i hope to find others like myself here as nothing can center me as quickly as feeling like i am with others like me. I would join a coven if i find one that is active.
i was once greater than i am now. i want that part of me back.
if you are reading this, feel free to respond, but i am aware where once i was the teacher, now i have again become the student...at least for now.
W


COMMENTS

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Nekirena
Nekirena
04:45 Sep 11 2023

Welcome back!!!





dwaynemcgriff01
dwaynemcgriff01
20:31 Sep 15 2023

welcome back





LordWolf
LordWolf
00:14 Sep 25 2023

thank you both.





krazypawz78
krazypawz78
07:58 Apr 18 2024

I'm glad you came back





LordWolf
LordWolf
18:08 Apr 18 2024

thank you. I think i needed it.








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