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This is my last journal entry. I am not strong enough anymore to deal with a single thing. I thought I was going to be able to handle the shit in my life but, nope. This one is going out to my family and friends here on VR. You will not read another journal entry from me after this. I got reprecutions from people outside of VR and cant handle it anymore. Im a weak pathetic man as of late. Im not worthy of a thing in life anymore. I hope you all enjoyed reading my journal entries I have written. I love all of you who have supported me through my trials and tribulations. Those who have never judged me over anything I said or done. Im not leaving dont worry, Im still going to be here, I just wont be writing anymore journals.

You treat me like everything is my fault.

You tell me I have to stop everything.

You talk to me like your my mother.

You cant take responsibility for your actions.

You say you love me but done show it.

You act like youre the perfect one.

You look at me like Im an idiot.

You hide things like I wont find out.

You never show me the love I deserve.

AHHHHHHH> This hurts me too much.

You have hurt me for the last time.

When you left me here alone.

You destroyed me into a million pieces.

Why cant you complete me again.

Why cant you be the way you used to be.

Nobody is perfect but still.

I did alot for you and this is what I get.

Left in this city alone with nobody to trust.

You claim Im the unbelieveable one.

That Im something else.

When I would never leave you by yourself.

But I guess we were never meant to be.

I guess Im destined to be alone for eternity.

I can never love someone as much as I did you.

Cant you see that, why cant you see that?

I loved you with all my heart and soul.

You were too blind to see my love for you.

I do still love you with all my heart.

But I guess I can never show you again.

You hate me so much now.

That you dont want me to contact you anymore.

When I have been trying to change for you.

But I guess its not worth the soul killer.

You think Im an asshole now.

When all I do is tell the truth.

Well, I guess this is my last words to you.



I love you Susan Taggart(MorpheusGirl) and I always will. I hope you truly find someone who will treat you good. I hope they will never do what I did to drive you to leave me here alone and cold. I will cherish our time together which was almost a year. It was an amazing ride. Take care of yourself and always know, I will never stop loving you for anyting in the world.

For days you keep telling me shit. For days you keep making me believe you. For days I thought I could trust you. For days I thought you were actually truthful. Then you turn around and prove other wise. Why did you do what you did? Why did lie to me? Why did you lead me on thinking shit thats you didnt want to happen? I hate you so much right now. I hate your games you play. I hate your lies. I your unbelieveable actions. Im never going to trust you ever again. That was low of you. I thought you changed but I guess game players neverdo change. I really hope you think about what you did and regret doing what you did to me.

In past centuries many people claim they have no soul. That they have no feelings left. That they dont care about dieing. Well guess what all. Im that one person who can claim that has no soul. Death gets laughed at when it faces me. Death gets scared when I upon it. I show no emotions. I show no remorse. I show no feelings when Im around people. My soul died many many years ago when I was jumped and nothing was done with it. My soul has been replaced with hate, distrust and loath. This can not be undone for the people who jumped are still walking around freely. They left me for fuck sakes. HEHEHEH, maybe I deserved it. I did lose quite a bit of blood that day. I should have died. But yet here I am alive but with no soul anymore. WOW, they have made me a strong and powerful ally to those I am around. Friends I have not many. Enemies I have a lot of. I just realized this also, I never have been happy in a long time. Since the day I got jumped replays in my head. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Why did the gods allow such an action to happen to me? Did they test me to see how much pain I can withstand? Or was it a test to see if I had the willpower to get back up? Fuck the gods for their actions against me. Fuck them all in the ass. I no longer believe in the gods. Strike me down now if you dont want me here gods. DO IT. I CAN TAKE EVERYTHING YOU THROW AT ME. IM NOT AFRAID OF YOU "ALL MIGHTY GODS". Why do their actions kill me inside so much for? Did they turn on me? DID YOU TURN ME GODS? Im so disturbed. Im so alone. Nobody understand me. People claim to understand me. But can they see the real me? NO, NOBODY DOES. They only see what they want to see. A pussy to push around and lie to. WHY DO YOU LIE TO ME? Im so very disturbed. My thoughts are of other worlds. Im so confused right now. Am I ok, am I upset, am I snapping, I dont know anymore. I love you grandfather, grandmother, aunty, my best friend Lucas. I miss you all. WOW, what am I saying? The gods need to pay for taking those I love so much. Yes Im taking a stand against the gods. I FUCKING HATE THE GODS. THEY ALWAYS TAKE AWAY WHAT I HOLD SO DEARLY. Bye bye now.