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Today I called a friend of mine that has had a few health scares in the recent past. I ask him how he is feeling and he says he hurts. We talked about what the doctors have recommended that he do and he says he will do as recommended. He then says something that I cannot hear because he was mumbling. I ask him to repeat himself and he yells at me. I ask him why he is yelling at me and he yells that he is not and hangs up.



Later on I sent him a message that said that he must be mad at me because he hung up. He said that I accused him of yelling at me...Well he did yell at me!!! He did apologize and then proceeds to say "I'm no good for anyone". WTF...where did that come from? This is not the first time he has said something to this effect. Why is it he says shit like this? It felt like the apology was just a stepping stone for him to feel sorry for himself. Am I looking at this all wrong?



Yes I understand some of the health issues he is going thru...been there, done that. I can understand the pain he is in but what the hell is this "I'm no good for anyone" bull. I am not going to feed his ego if that is what he wanted. I am, quite honestly, tired of hearing it from him.

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elviscat
20:06 Jan 19 2015

Pay heed to his babblings,and leave him alone move on,thats on him not you.

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So tired of the pain. Will it even end? It gets so bad. I don't want to live with it anymore!

I feel like I used to have a purpose in this life. I was a productive member of society. Reared a child, worked and tired to life my life with meaning. Lost myself in a marriage that eventually failed after 19 years.



Now that I am unable to work and child is grown what is left for me? What is my purpose now? Who am I now? What should I do with my life now? How do I find myself again? Have I really ever know myself?



I need a direction, a feeling of being useful.



In search of answers to these questions and many more.

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elviscat
20:13 Jan 19 2015

Feeling the Blues are we,theres always a purpose in life,never give up and never give in.Not for no one.I know.If you need help in solving your problems im hear to listen and will help with advice anyway i can,you need only ask.Namaste' Elviscat

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Meeting new friends who are showing me the Way.

Wanting to make them a regular part of my Day.



They tell me I have gifts yet to be explored.

Show me the way I Implore!



Searching, Searching for the way to seek purpose in my days.

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argedion
08:35 Jan 07 2015

day and night until the end and beyond. I don't leave my family behind.

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