The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Doctors -- "Take off your clothes."

Dentist -- "Open wide.

"Hairdressers -- "Do you want it teased or blown?

"Milkmen -- "Do you want it in front or in back?

"Interior decorators -- "Once you have it all in, you'll love it.

"Bankers -- "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest.

"Police officers -- "Spread 'em.

"Mailmen -- "I've got a package for you."

COMMENTS

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markus666
15:57 Dec 20 2009

Thanks for the good laugh.

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POST COMMENT

Message To: Euterpe



"And on the 1st day, Edward said unto himself. "I am rather plain for a vampire. So I will give myself tousled hair, big pouty red succulant lips, golden eyes." And it was made so. Edward looked upon the vast waters of the Earth and said, "I am still very plain." So he unbuttoned his white versacci dress shirt, and said unto himself, "sparkle like a drag queen's glitter when it's hit by the sun for the first time!" And it was made so.



Cullamen!!!!!



LMFAORN!!!!!



On 23:29:32 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



dont please i might pee myself



On 23:25:30 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



I could SOOOOOOO be a preacher on a youtube vid doing a CoC sermon.



On 23:21:58 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



and with you as well **dies laughing without hope of resussitation**



On 23:20:11 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



lol, love you too, "let Robert Patterson's love be with you"



(and you say, "let it be left with you as well")



lmfaosh................



On 23:17:48 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



OME dest i love you



On 23:15:57 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



alright, remember to preach the vampirian gospel of the Church of Cullen, or Edward won't marry you when you die!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!



On 23:13:54 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



lol im about to have to go btw im going to a string concert with my family



On 23:13:09 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



sweetness, total, sweetness. i'm gonna get a drink of dr.pepper, o' no wait, it must be cherry dr.pepper, my bad, lol



On 23:11:02 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



lol I know!!!



On 23:08:37 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



~covers mouth to stop gut wrenching laugh~



This is such a new inside joke.



On 23:06:58 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



I dunno I was think about making a pilgramage to forks and singing cullenmas carols. "Deck the halls with lots of glitter! lalalalalalalalala Light a match and watch it flicker lalalalalalalala Throw it at those nasty pooches lalalalalalala Then watch as bella and edward smooch(es?)" LOL



On 23:00:27 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



OMB!!!!!!!!



how are you celebrating Cullenmas this year????



On 22:58:33 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



ome shut up lol



On 22:57:54 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



you too



have you caught a TTD yet? What kind of protection do you use before reading a book?



I use trojan ribbed for the book's spine.



lol



On 22:55:18 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) Euterpe wrote:



lol u make me laugh



On 22:53:26 Oct 04 2009 (-0 GMT) bloodmother12208 wrote:



I read it, LMFAO!!!!



"textually transmitted disease"!!! are they serious???



I got syphilis from reading The House of Night Series.



That WHORE!!!!!! LMFAORN



~is crying~



lol