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cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

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50 entries this month
 

07:56 Dec 31 2021
Times Read: 174


Turned on the LA Noire soundtrack, and got to work on my closet... And actually cleared most of it out. Now it's mostly clothes and boxes. I wanted to clear it out myself just in case there was anything embarrassing inside. Oddly enough, didn't find a single sex toy. Kinda shocked by that xD It feels good though to have one more thing done. I figure I'm going to fill three large boxes. Clothes, shoes, and housewares. Whatever I'm taking overseas needs to fit in one of the boxes. If it doesn't then it's gotta go. I don't want to drag more than that over there, it'll just be a huge hassle. I can always get more of each so it's no big deal, I don't need to take a million things. Anything I have can easily be replaced. I'm not planning on bringing my gaming consoles, I have to figure out who to leave them to. Wolfie says he'll get me a gaming PC, and a ps5 if I absolutely want one. I still don't really feel like I need one yet, but eventually. All we're waiting on now is his bank stuff, he says it's taking awhile for his investments to get sorted out. He wants to be sure that everything is completely set, and stable before he comes to get me. And then he wants to "properly court" me before we leave. I guess it makes sense, we didn't really have much time for dates, and stuff before, he was always so busy with work. So now he wants to make it up to me. Then he mentioned something about "plus I have to compensate your family if I`ll ride off into the sunset with you." Uh huh... Is this the part where he gives them a water buffalo xD Sounds fair. He's so silly, honestly. My family doesn't want anything from him other than for him to take very good care of me, and occasionally bring me back to visit. The whole dowry thing is pretty dated. I told him, literally just pick me up, and carry me away, it'll be fine xD I'm so ready to go. But ya know, Wolfie isn't going to make a move until he's 100% comfortable. That's how he's always been. I'm the one who's constantly ready to jump. He needs more time, and more assurance. And that's fine, I love him for it. He's thinking long haul about our future, and that's more important than immediate satisfaction. He's more optimistic lately than ever though.
"I'm here, little queen.
I'll always be here.
You're the best thing in my life right now. We both have problems, but we'll hold onto each other, ok?"
I need to hear that sometimes. That things will be ok. I'm always the one saying it, but sometimes, I need to hear it. I'm the one who holds everyone around me together. That's just who I am, it's how I was made. He's the one who holds me together. He's everything stable, and comfortable, and safe in my life. He peels me apart so easily, gets inside my head. Most people who know me will tell you that they really don't know anything about me. I know everything about everyone because I listen to everyone, but I never talk about myself. Wolfie says that when we met I was like a scared little wounded animal, in my shell trying to protect myself. I never really thought about it, but I guess it's true, I don't really let people very far in. On the surface I'm a blonde, ditzy, happy-go-lucky, light-hearted, bright beacon of warmth and understanding that attracts highly traumatized souls. Very, very few people ever see what's beneath that. Wolfie gets underneath so easily. He always says I have him wrapped around my fingers, but I think we're equally entwined in one another. He really is everything. He's so... everything❤

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03:12 Dec 31 2021
Times Read: 209


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💗

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05:32 Dec 30 2021
Times Read: 251


Wolfie helps me to learn French by telling me cute little phrases.
"Ma petite Ange De Nuit."
"Bisous chérie et bonne nuit."
For the most part, French is pretty easy. I get tripped up on et vs est. So I try to remember Loup et Lapin. Because it sounds really cute in French :3
Wolfie says that zaychik is actually a pretty common term of endearment in Russia, that when he was younger his grandfather told him he'd hoped he'd find his own zaychik someday. It's kinda cute especially since I had never really heard anyone call their girlfriend their bunny before. I think being bunny really suits me.
Honestly, I'm surprised he's not having me learn Italian since after we move Italy will be right there, and he's always saying he wants to take me to Venice. He wants to take me to Moscow next Summer for his birthday. There's a lot he wants to do. Everything is riding on me getting my residency approved. I'm so nervous. I just hope all this waiting, and planning ends up being for the best. He's worked so hard for all of this, it'll be heartbreaking to watch it fall apart because of me. He can always come back to the US, and live here, but it's really, really not what he wants. And going somewhere new, and starting over sounds really nice. It would be good for us to be separated from everyone, doing our own thing, having our own life. I'm finally ready to go, and it feels like everything has suddenly slowed down. He said he was going to this old gift shop tomorrow to buy me Russian candies so... I'm hoping that means he's planning on being back soon. But then again... He loves to eat Russian candies so maybe not xD
I asked him what his New Year's wish would be. "To be a better Wolfie and to get Bunny to be with me."

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03:17 Dec 29 2021
Times Read: 287


Every day I try to sort through a little more, and more. It's just overwhelming feeling like I need to get rid of so much because I don't want to take it with me. I know that it'll be easier once Wolfie is here, at that point I'll just be throwing things out the door, but I'm trying to get through it on my own. It's not like I'm a hoarder or that I have that much stuff because honestly I don't. It's just a lot of little stuff. Like makeup. I have makeup from before any of my nieces and nephews were born. And that's stuff that can totally go, and I did end up throwing probably 75% of my makeup away. Pretty much anything that was more than a couple years old went straight into the trash. If only it was that easy to get rid of my clothes xD I could donate some stuff, but it's all sellable, it's just a matter of selling it which takes time. Once Wolfie gives me a date, I'm going to have a massive moving sale. I asked him about that today, and he gave me his usual, "Soon, liebling." And in Wolfie time that could be anywhere from now to a year from now xD He said he's waiting on some bank stuff. Some stuff liquidating, some stuff maturing, a lot of big words about money that I don't even pretend to understand xD We agree that the only thing I know about money... is how to spend it xD I'm great at that. But when he starts talking to me like a banker it makes my eye twitch a little, and my brain kinda glazes over. I'm glad he's got all that under control. But he's waiting for his money to get sorted before he comes to get me. I really should be working on my languages... He wants me to learn Russian, German, French and Japanese. I have been working on French, I think it's the easiest of them. I'm terrified to learn Russian. It's just a lot. He promised he'd help me once we move, that we can have daily language class :3 I've been using the DUO app, and it's pretty easy to pickup. It's just that it's a lot easier to read than to speak. Getting the accent right is the difficult part. He says lots of people in Slovenia speak English so it won't be a big deal, he'd just like if we could converse in all the languages he's fluent in, and as my Dom it's his job to make sure I'm cultured, and properly trained in many, many things. He's always telling me how intelligent he believes I am, and that I deserve the opportunity to learn as much as I can. It's nice to have a man in my life who's so invested in seeing me grow. I've been a bit sheltered, especially by my mother, and that's one reason why I've always been desperate to escape my surroundings. But ya know, it isn't about escaping anymore, it's not about running away, it's just about doing what makes me happy, and Wolfie makes me the happiest I've ever been❤

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06:58 Dec 28 2021
Times Read: 317


Finally... The holidays are over. Technically I guess there's New Year's, but the main events are over with. It's not that I hate them, I just hate seeing what they do to Wolfie. December is probably the most stressful month of the year for me based on that alone. He was in a much better mood today so I'm hoping we're past the darkness. I get it, his childhood beyond majorly sucked, and certain things trigger him really hard. I actually have another friend who also had an extremely traumatic childhood who also is pretty badly triggered around Christmas so it's really unfortunate. I'm so relieved though, I feel like I can finally rest after a difficult month. It hasn't just been him, I've been sick since Thanksgiving. Massive sinus infection, covid, and now a kidney infection. I'm not feeling that terrible overall, I'm still perfectly functional, I'm just a bit drained. I'd like to get the sickness out of the house before Wolfie makes his way back, he's already worried about taking me through all the airports, I need to be as healthy as possible before we leave. I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed xD In a good way though, I'm ready to go. Wolfie feeling better brings my tension down by about 99%. I'm ready for the year to be over. It wasn't a bad year by any means, it went by so fast that it's hard to say anything about it. It feels like Halloween was just a few nights ago, and now it's already past Christmas. I still have a lot to do before I move. Moving to another country is insane, it feels so bizarre. I feel like I tried all my youth to escape this place, this small town life. I thought anywhere would be better than here. But it's not just anywhere, it's with Wolfie. That's where I'm supposed to be, where I want to be. Not because I'm running from here, I just know I need to run towards him. The time difference really sucks, him being 9 hours ahead, but he'll stay up all night just to spend time with me. I dunno why, it just makes me really happy that he puts so much time into me, it makes me feel important to him. I'm genuinely happy, with him, and with myself. It's nice to be able to say that❤

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18:48 Dec 25 2021
Times Read: 358


I woke up to a large chicken, bacon, ranch pizza waiting for me...
It's exactly what I wanted.
It truly was a Christmas miracle❤

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18:39 Dec 24 2021
Times Read: 397


The moment of truth...
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It's all there ^^
My Too Faced order made in in, and everything is here. On the top is what they initially sent me, and as you can imagine, I was pretty annoyed. To send me 2 things out of $185 worth of makeup is just ridiculous, and I wasn't the only one they did it to. Actually, I went back to leaveva review, and they did take down the old listing for the set, and redo it so they must've realized that something was fucking up. I think that's probably why PP refunded me. Usually to get a refund you have to escalate your case, and then they decide, but they just suddenly refunded me out of the blue after TF had already shipped this. So all this was free. Maybe I'm just lucky then, maybe that's how the Universe intended to play it all along so it could give me free expensive makeup xD Merry Christmas, Bunny💗
This is what my whole order was centered around.
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Chocolate Bunny ^^
Because years ago when Wolfie found me, he wrote me a poem wherein he compared to a Chocolate Bunny with caramel eyes. And sadly it's the only poem from him that I can't seem to find, I have a copy of every other. I think it was the first one he ever wrote to me as well so huge bummer, but I always remember that, that's what he wrote in it.
The second reason for this order is that I've been wanting this mini palette forever.
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I can't tell you how many times I've picked it up to buy it, but then decided not to. So to now have it, and have received it for free is pretty awesome. It's so cute, and it smells like bubblegum. Which... I never understood the scented makeup craze. If it's going on my eyelids, why does it need a smell? Most TF eyeshadow palettes are scented, it's their thing, and it just kinda... I dunno, I don't get it.
But the main thing to buy TF for is obviously the adorable packaging.
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Everything is so pink and shiny and adorable. Highlighter in a ring box, why? Why not? Hey, it's what you're paying for. Although I've found the quality of their makeup to be pretty good too. You can always tell the difference between drug-store garbage, and proper stuff from a brand, it's just entirely different quality. Maybe a little overpriced, but worth it if you're invested in doing your makeup. I enjoy playing with makeup. I'm not one of those women who feels like they need it to do anything, I leave the house all the time without it, but if I have time then I do like to put it on because it's just fun to do, and it makes me happy. So despite the debacle I'll probably order more from TF in the future since they did make it right, I'm not going to condemn them.

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07:13 Dec 24 2021
Times Read: 442


Christmas is never a great time. Wolfie is always in a shitty mood around this time which then puts me in a bad mood because I hate seeing him upset. So he tries not to talk to me, and I don't like that either because I do want him around, he's the best part of my day. He's supposed to be seeing his cousin, and nephew today so hopefully it helps a little. He said he wasn't sure he was up to seeing them, but I wanted him to try. Most of his Christmas memories are really bad, it reminds him of his abusive cow of a mother, so I told him it's good to try to make some better memories, and you can't do that if you lock yourself up alone. He just doesn't like snapping on people, and when he gets emotional he gets very snappy. But hopefully it gives him a little Christmas cheer. I'd just like the fuckin holidays to be over already, it does nothing, but stress me out. I'm still sick. My sense of smell, and taste went out yesterday. I was feeling better, but then I started getting really dizzy, and fatigued, and just exhausted. I'm not congested anymore though, and my cough is pretty mild. I laid down earlier at 6, and slept til 10. Missed my boss texting me to tell me they had a Christmas present for me if I wanted him to drop it off. So I feel bad about that. It's probably something stupid, knowing him xD He already said my hoodie was my Christmas present, but then he asked me Tuesday what I wanted. And it's like... I really don't want anything, if I want something then I buy it for myself. My parents gave me $100, and I also told them I didn't want anything. But it's nice, that's free dress or makeup money. Or maybe I'll take them out to dinner or something. Wolfie, and I were wanting to take them out somewhere nice when he gets back for the very awkward, "So I'm taking your daughter," conversation xD They're already well aware of what we're planning, we've been telling them for months that this was happening, but I feel like we need to formally sit down with them, and properly discuss it too. Wolfie needs to lay out his whole plan about where we're going, where we'll be living, what he's going to be doing, and most importantly, how he's going to take care of me. And then he'll slowly slide a cow across the table in trade for me xD See, I never understood the whole paying for your bride thing. If you're giving my parents a bunch of money or things to marry me then that's less you have to take care of me with. I guess maybe it's proving that you're well off enough that you can spare it all in exchange for the woman you love, but still, it seems a little counterproductive. Wolfie isn't like a billionaire, but he's pretty well off, he can definitely take care of us. I'm really hoping he can somewhat emotionally stabilize once we're settled. I know that there's a lot of damage that can't be undone, and a lot of darkness that isn't going away, but I want him to keep trying to heal even if only a little. His heart is so fragile, I just need to be close to him. Hopefully it's not more than a couple more weeks. I wish it was Monday already, my anxiety is ridiculous.

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21:24 Dec 23 2021
Times Read: 474


My last Black Friday order finally came in today. Only a month after I ordered xD But at least it made it.

Coven Cozy Sweater
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I love the embroidery, and it's actually pretty thick for a sweater, a bit heavy. I guess I'm used to Killstar sweaters which most are practically nothing. That's not necessarily bad, they're just very loose knit, and lightweight. This one though is a proper jumper, and I love the simplicity.

Cute as Hell Set
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I have extremely sensitive ears so if it's cold out then I have to have my ears covered. I prefer earmuffs, I have a whole collection, but I couldn't resist these. Yes, they're from the dreaded Too Fast, but I didn't order them directly from Too Fast so I'm allowing it. I hate having to boycott an entire brand because they do occasionally have something I want, I just refuse to order directly from them ever again with the fuck ups. Too Fast AND Too Faced have both tried to screw me.

Bunny scrunchies.
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Hoi, I'm Bunneh :3

Holly Eye Candy Mesh Teddy
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So here's what was holding up my entire order, took them a couple weeks to get these in. But it's pink, and fluffy, and adorable, and makes me feel like a sexy lil bunny snowpuff.

There were a couple other things, but I haven't looked them over yet. I don't think I have anything else coming in right now. I'm trying to back off on buying stuff again with the potential for Wolfie being here soon on the horizon. I dunno when he will be, could be a couple weeks or a few more months, it's hard to say with him. I finally just broke down, and put up a bunch of stuff in my closet for sale. I dunno if they will actually sell, but I'm just so tired of having so much. Which probably sounds super spoiled of me, but I want stuff gone. It's unrealistic to take all of this clothing with me, I don't need it, it's time to let some of it go. I'm trying anyway. So I kinda don't want to bring more stuff in when I'm already trying to get rid of so much. My shopaholic brain doesn't understand that though, it can only see the sales xD

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23:55 Dec 22 2021
Times Read: 523


I decided to poke around the reviews of the Too Faced set I never got...
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Apparently, I'm definitely not the only one who didn't get it. People are literally getting empty boxes... How does that happen? How do you, boxing up expensive makeup for people, prepare an empty box, and then say, "Looks good, let's send that bitch." No body orders an empty box xD Like, what? At least with my order there were a couple other things so it wasn't completely empty, just missing most of it.
So they've claimed they've sent me my items, and I do have a package from them that is tracking. But I also just got a refund. They didn't willingly give me a refund, I had to open a case on PP, and I intended to drop it once I received everything I had purchased. But for whatever reason PP decided to go ahead, and refund me anyway. So best case scenario, they fulfilled my order, and I get $128 worth of makeup for free. Worst case, I get an empty box, but at least I got my money back. Based on the reviews, I'm expecting an empty box, but we'll have to see when it gets here. The sad thing is, even with multiple people telling their customer service that they're getting empty boxes, they're still selling the set... Like, obviously something is happening where it's not being shipped, take it down already, and figure it out.
Oh. And here's something really funny.
Remember this dress?
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I searched high, and low for this forever. Eventually I finally found it for $100. Then, I never wore it, so I flipped it, and sold it for $450.
And now it's back, restocked for a measly $49. With free shipping.
So... obviously I bought another one xD
The styles are slightly different than the original, but the design is still the same with the creepy kawaii bunnies. So maybe I'll like this one better.
Also. I got offered another job ^^
I don't need another job, I don't even need the one I have, I'm hoping to be leaving the country next year, but it's still nice to be asked. People recognize me as a hard worker, and that's really nice. If I wasn't possibly leaving then I'd definitely take another job, but I don't want to commit to something just to leave in a month or two. I dunno if I'll be able to get a job in Europe. Wolfie says we can open a small business for me to run or he said he can buy me a bakery. But as much as I love to bake stuff, that's such a competitive thing, especially in Europe, so it's not really realistic. I'm sure I can keep selling clothes, and stuff though, and maybe I'll be able to sell things more worldwide from there. Wolfie is fine if I want to lay around like a spoiled kitty, but he also wants me to feel fulfilled, and do what I like. It just depends on what the restrictions of my residency are. There's so much unknown it's hard to plan anything.

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06:13 Dec 22 2021
Times Read: 554


I don't have work til the 3rd. I think it's really stupid that they're going to be closed all next week, but that's not my call. My 8 year old niece came to work with me today. My sister had to go buy Christmas presents, and she didn't want to stay home with her brother so she tagged along with me, and my boss was totally fine with it. She actually helped quite a bit. We decorated cookies, then she wiped everything down, swept, and then I put her in charge of the candy counter. Literally a kid in a candy store. She did really good though, and my boss rewarded her with several things, a shake, plushies, candy, soda, pretty much whatever she wanted. Now she wants to go to work with me every time xD
It's weird. Will I ever even be going back to work? Wolfie is supposed to be back next month. That's not a for sure thing, but it's what he's hoping for. He said he's trying to get his money sorted out, and then he started talking about stocks and bonds and converting, and I kinda zoned out xD I'm glad he's so great with money, I assume he is anyway since every time he starts talking about it, I don't really know what the fuck he's talking about. I try to be responsible with money, I try to keep a decent savings account, but it also sucks to work, and never get anything from it. There needs to be balance. Wolfie says he just wants to set everything up so I'll always be taken care of, and I appreciate that a lot, but I want him to have more fun too. He works really hard, he deserves it. He's definitely going to have to help me go through my closet. I'm having trouble letting stuff go, and the reality is that if I'm going to move to another country, I can't take much with me. Wolfie doesn't want me to have to give anything up, but it would be good for me to let things go that I definitely don't need, and haven't ever worn. Which I'm usually good about anyway, shifting through things that I bought months ago, but haven't touched since. As much as I may love the look of something, I don't always necessarily love how it looks on me, and those are the things that need to go. And I trust Wolfie's taste enough that if he says something can go then I'll feel better about getting rid of it. Even though I have my passport, we're still going to have to wait until I get my residency approved or not before we can leave. I guess we could go travel around Europe while we wait, there is still a lot more he needs to show me, but a lot of places are still pretty restricted. Everything is just very up in the air right now, it could go in any direction. I'll feel much better once he's back. I don't plan on ever letting him leave the country without me again xD That's going to be a new house rule, no more leaving without bunny. I get it, he had a job, he made a lot of money, he's in a better position to do all this now, but never again. He's always thinking of the future in everything he does, but I need him to be in the now with me for a bit. Because it's good to want to have everything planned, but you can't plan for everything. Sometimes you just have to go, do, jump. This whole thing is a pretty big jump. It's been a long time coming, but it is a lot. It's a lot to just pack up, and go without really knowing where I'm going. Buy I'm ready, and I trust him. I'm ready for the next phase ^^

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02:40 Dec 22 2021
Times Read: 599


Gee.
deadpool-shocked
I, for one, am shocked that there are people who don't like you.
No sarcasm at all.
It sure is crazy that when you act like a horrible shrew of a person, people treat you like a horrible shrew of a person.
What is the world coming to? How dare they.
...
Some people should really wear a diaper over their face so it could catch some of that shit they're constantly spewing, and spare the rest of us.

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04:04 Dec 21 2021
Times Read: 644


I'm feeling a lot better since my passport is in hand. But now comes the harder part of gaining residency in Slovenia. I don't really have anything to offer another country. I don't have any good reason for anyone to take me in. I don't have anything against me either though. My record is clean, I would have someone taking care of me financially, I wouldn't be a burden to them, but Wolfie isn't a citizen there either. He only barely just got his residency. He does have an excellent reputation there though, he knows a lot of people around Europe in general, and his lawyer is supposedly the best in this field so we'll just have to see what he comes up with. He told me he's going to do absolutely everything he can to make this happen, and worst case scenario, he'll just marry me, and take me to Russia. I can't tell you how romanced I personally feel to have my boyfriend say, "Ehhhh, worse case, I'll just marry ya." xD I know he just means, that's the last option, but it's funny the way he says it. I think, worse case, you're gonna be going back to Europe alone, but that's just me. I am nervous, but I'm sure it'll be fine, he'll figure it out. Leaving the US is pretty much nothing to me. I love my family, but if I have to choose between staying here with them, and going away with the love of my life, I choose him. Wolfie says, "You need to feel happy again, little queen. I want to make you happy." And he does, he makes me happier, and warmer, and more loved than I've ever felt. He really is my comfort. I don't know how else to describe it, he just makes me feel so at peace. I mean, things are sometimes really hard, when his depression really acts up it's not pleasant for either of us, but it's always been worth it to be his. That's all I want in this world, just to be his❤
It's like with Hades and Persephone. He says to her, hey, you can stay with your mom, and be that cute lil unrecognizable goddess of Spring, that's all fine. Or you can come with me, and be a fuckin queen with equal power, and respect to me. And I'm sure outwardly she put up a bit of a struggle because she loved her mother, she probably didn't want to hurt her by just ditching her. But I don't think she hated it there, I don't think she hated her husband, I don't think it was really against her will. But that's just what I believe. That's what I've always believed. When I was a Freshman in High School we had to write a whole essay rewriting a Greek Myth from our perspective of it, and that's who I chose, and that's how I wrote it. I didn't make Persephone a victim, I made her a woman who chose herself, what she wanted. So it's always funny to me how years later this all came up. Maybe that's just how Fate works. Maybe pieces of some things are just in our souls.

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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
00:52 Dec 22 2021

Very happy for you, the way things are unfolding.





 

19:38 Dec 20 2021
Times Read: 678


Here is my Emily The Strange haul❤🖤
The Bad Kitten Jacket, Cat You Later Mary Janes, and Together Purrever Tote.
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Emily the Strange is like... very 90s Hot Topic vibes xD Back when Hot Topic was kinda ok, before it was crammed full of ugly, sell-out Disney garbage. I'm extremely picky when it comes to Disney stuff, most of it is just completely cliché and unnecessary. Anyway, I love everything I got. They were running a promotion where they were giving the bag away for free so didn't have to pay for that, nice little freebie. They did have a lot more stuff, but I immediately knew I wanted the jacket, and shoes so those are all I ended up getting. Wolfie can vouch that I am definitely, at times, a very, very bad kitten xD

A couple more things from Killstar.
Symbol Of Light Hoodie
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Although... It doesn't have a hood so is it really a hoodie? But I like the collar, that's the whole reason I bought it. And it does zip up the front, and even has pockets. I was a but upset when I first pulled it out, and did not see the pockets, a $70 hoodie should definitely have pockets, and they are there, I just didn't see them. I also got cute socks to wear with it.
Riot Ruffle Socks.
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I dunno, I thought they'd be cute together, kind of a deathly schoolgirl vibe, maybe with a plaid skirt, and some mary janes.

I also might've maybe splurged... just a bit...
NMX1-RSU-mu
I really wanted these.
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But could not find them anywhere close to my size. I'm usually a size 6, for heels I like to size up to a 6.5/7 so my toes aren't super squished. These are supposed to run small so I could probably get away with up to a 7.5, but I saw mostly 8+, and no way I'm fitting into an 8. You can get inserts, and grips, and whatever else to kinda pad them out, but if I'm paying that much for shoes, I actually want them to fit somewhat appropriately. And I just wanted one pair, just one, and then I'll stop xD I really wanted a pair for when Wolfie gets back because I just think it would be insanely hot to walk up to him in a pair of gorgeous, expensive shoes that I bought myself. He loves me in heels, especially in certain scenarios. Although I keep telling him, Wolfie, I really just want to cuddle for like a week when you're bad, nothing else, just you, and me in bed, snuggle party. And of course he says to me, "Aw, whatever will make my little bunny happy, I love bunny snuggles." But internally I feel like he's really thinking, "This woman is trying to kill me, she is literally actually trying to make me combust." Poor Wolfie. He has been out of the country over two years now, and trust me, I'm just as physically frustrated as he is, so I don't really put a time frame on things. Whatever happens, happens, even if it happens five minutes after he gets back xD He's right when he says I'm an insufferable little tease, but I think if you're not teasing your Dom constantly, you're not doing it right. Is it worth all that money just to seduce your man? Hell yeah❤
Anyway, since I couldn't find the ombre ones in my size, I settled on something with spikes because spikes are at least a little alternative looking, and I still wanted red/black. Finally landed on these. O
I figure if I really don't like them then I'll just resell them, no big deal. Or maybe give them to my oldest niece. She's only 11, and her feet are already slightly bigger than mine, and she constantly wants to borrow my clothes, much to my brother's dismay xD He's always saying he wants his children to be whoever they wanna be, and she's a little budding goth girl, and he tells her no. And I agree, 11 might be a little young for an established look, and going into goth you have to realize all the flak you're going to take, all the stares, all the judgy morons. I've been into goth since I was pretty young, but I've also always had the attitude of not giving a fuck what anyone thought of me, and dressing the way I do is just what's genuinely comfortable for me. If she ends up being that way too, that's great, I'll totally help her dress in whatever she likes, within appropriate reason. Sometimes she'll pull out a piece of lingerie that I have tucked somewhere, and be like, "So how do you wear this?" Ehhh, that's just an old costume that's uh, falling apart, I was going to throw it away, now stop digging through my stuff xD Awakward Auntie moments🖤

Best news of the day though...
My passport came in today ^^
So now I am free to go. If Wolfie wanted me to meet him in Europe right now, I could go. I mean, if he actually asked me to meet him in Europe I would laugh, and be like, nahhh, you're getting your ass on a plane, and coming to get me, that's how that works lol But it feels good that I have it in my possession, I will not be holding things up when he gets here. Massive relief. I was worried it was going to take weeks, possibly months longer so paying to have it expedited was worth it, took less than a month to get here. Happy, happy bunny :3 Now I just need everything else to fall into place because everything always totally goes according to plan xD I can't even say that without laughing... But it'll be fine❤

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01:04 Dec 20 2021
Times Read: 713


Wolfie is feeling much better, and that makes me feel immensely better🥰
He's hoping to be back shortly after New Year's, his Russian stuff should be done by then. Unfortunately, the stupid covid stuff is once again making travel more difficult, especially between countries. When he initially left Slovenia for Russia he actually missed his first flight because it took them so fuckin long to board the plane so they made him wait for the next one. It's kinda ridiculous. But he has all the paperwork at least so he is able to leave whenever. He could always have left whenever, but he wanted the stupid card in hand before he did. So he has it, so that's great, one thing less to worry about. Now he just needs to finish up some family stuff before he can come get me. I'm really nervous considering this all hinges on me also getting residency in Slovenia. If they tell me no then... He's done all that for nothing. He says we'll just get married, and go to Russia if that happens, but I know he'd rather be in Europe so we're really hoping his lawyer can get me in next. But the good thing is that Wolfie is going to stay here with me until we hear whether I'm approved or not so that'll give us some solid time together. It's weird, I'm used to him being so busy with work so having him all to myself with no distractions will be pretty nice.
Oh, but he said that since we'd be moving to this resort town, they have lots of pools, and spas, and mineral water springs. And I love to swim so he's going to get me a membership so I can go swimming, and spaing whenever I want. The water there is like, some of the best in the world, it's supposed to have a lot of healing properties. And the area is beautiful, it's so green. He really picked the perfect place for us. We just need to get there. Having him back next month, and getting moved would be the perfect start to a new year.
I have to work tomorrow and Tuesday. Then I'm off til the 3rd. I'm going to spend my days productively playing video games xD The platinum for Prey is such bullshit because of one trophy. There's a trophy that requires you to kill a humans left on the space station. And if they're killing by anything else, aliens or environmental hazards included, you just lost it. You have to personally kill 42 people yourself. And there's a specific type of alien that mind controls people, and if you get too close to them while they're mind controlled, it explodes their heads, and you just lost. There are ways to incapacitate them, but it's just finicky. Makes you work for it though, and since the base game itself isn't very long it makes sense, it doesn't take too long to replay. It's just fun. I kinda gave up on Hollow Knight temporarily. I can't play games like that when I already have anxiety because not being able to beat a boss within a couple tries just puts more anxiety on top of my anxiety xD Hollow Knight is a good game, it's cute. I wouldn't say for me it's personally extraordinary, but ya know, it's good. Still like Prey better. Playing with only alien abilities is a pain though. No hacking, and no upgrades to your weapons/inventory/self is a bit inconvenient. Especially the lack of inventory space. As someone who likes to pick up every available resource, I'm not a fan of limited inventory, and then asking me to play without upgrading it. But that'll make playing with all human abilities a breeze. I don't feel the alien, and human abilities balance each other out. Sure, it's nice to be able to blow stuff up with your brain, but it's just as easy to do with a shotgun, and as a human I can hack into anything, move faster, hit harder, get pretty much anywhere without needing the alien shit. It's like the game wants to punish you for choosing the alien path especially when a Nightmare drops on your ass when you've installed too many Typhon powers. It's still not difficult to play, it's just inconvenient.
KS is doing 30% right now. I'm wondering if they're going to raise that any by Christmas... I don't really need anything, but there's always stuff I want xD My Emily the Strange Bad Kitten Club jacket, and kitty shoes should be here tomorrow, and they also finally shipped the order I made on the 24th. It was waiting all that time on one pre-order item, a cute pink, fluffy lingerie piece. I'm glad it was included, but I also feel like waiting almost a month just to ship everything together is kinda ridiculous. I knew it was a pre-order, but usually they ship the stuff they have if the rest is going to have to wait. But oh well, it should all be here this week. I can't even remember what all I bought xD A couple lingerie pieces, a sweater, some bunny scrunchies, and a hat/gloves set, I think. And a cute potato plushie clip for Wolfie ^^ I'm like a small, foraging animal, I go out, find small adorable things, and present them to my mate xD

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23:31 Dec 18 2021
Times Read: 753


The last of my homewares from Killstar showed up today. This was the buy 2 get 1 free order.

Ghost Hinged Jar
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Treats Ceramic Jar
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Hocus Pocus Cushion
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It always surprises me how big these jars end up being. They really don't look that big in the pictures, but they're all proper sized cookie jars. And for $30-40 each, that's great, I wouldn't want to get a salt, and pepper shaker for $40 xD They do have these cute ghost shakers I might get next... I love ghosts, classic spooky ghost is adorable. They also have a ghosty vase, but it wasn't in stock at that time so again, next time. I don't have a very large KS Cushion collection, a lot of people collect them all, but I usually only grab them when I can get them cheap, and this one was free. They make a tea cup with the same design that I'd like to get for my tea cup collection, but that can wait. I've been really happy with all of the homewares I've bought from KS, it's all really great quality. If only they applied that same quality to their clothing xD Some of it is nice, but... Some if it you can tell is definitely mass produced in high quantity as cheap as possible. I get it, they're running a business, their items are in demand, but their clothing has slowly gotten worse, and worse over the years. Everything else though is pretty nice.
They were also running a promotion at the time for free lipstick from their Coven Cosmetics brand so I got one in the color Lenore.
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It's kind of a deep rosey pink color. It's pretty. I also own a couple others, Vampir and Dusk. I like them, they're a bit dry, but they're matte so... People always complain that matte lipstick is dry, like yeah... Yeah, it is lol Slap some gloss over it, it's fine. It sucks though that they never did anything besides the 6 lipsticks. They made a huge deal about it when they released it, their amazing new cosmetics brand, and oh... it's just a couple lipsticks. Could've done a lot more. Maybe they will someday, who knows.
KS hasn't revealed their Christmas sale yet so maybe if it's anything good I might get a few more homewares. They usually do a bogo sale after Christmas so I may wait for that. Wolfie is... well, he's Wolfie. He let me know he was ok, and I appreciate that. I worry constantly. He's not really ok because he's super depressed, but he'll push through it, he always does, he's strong. I didn't really want to poke at him so I didn't say much to him. It is almost Christmas, and Christmas was not a happy time for him as a kid so it brings up a lot of negativity. I'm proud of him though, he usually dives into this mood a lot quicker around this time of year. I do genuinely believe he's slowly healing, but some things will never be healed, some things will always sting. If we cam get through them though then we'll be ok. He'll be ok. I'm just gonna give him some space. He knows I'm here. As much as I would like to smother him with all my love, he's the kinda person that when a depressive episode hits, the harder you try to love him, the harder he pushes you away. It's best to just give him space, let him sort it out. Which is a bit agonizing, knowing how much pain someone you love is in, and not being able to do anything for them except back off and wait. I would do absolutely anything to take this pain from him, but I can't. It'll pass. I just need to keep my own emotional stability in check. Which is hard to do on my own, Wolfie is my comfort, he is my stability. But I have to be strong enough to handle myself until he feels better.
Bashing alien faces in on Prey helps a lot xD I'm actually trying for my platinum which will require at least a couple more playthroughs because I need a full Typhon powers play, and a full human abilities one. I'm working on the full alien powers right now. It sucks not being able to get the human abilities because I really REALLY love the shotgun, it singlehandedly git me through the DLC, just give me a shotgun, 200 rounds, and 20 medkits, I'm good to go. You can still use guns with only alien powers, you just can't upgrade them beyond the basic first upgrade. Boo. But... With Typhon powers you can blow shit up with your mind. So it evens out xD Prey is easily one of my favorite games. I heard they might be working on a sequel... I hope🖤

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16:22 Dec 18 2021
Times Read: 788


I have to work today. I don't wanna work today. Wolfie had a really bad episode yesterday. It's put my anxiety on edge. And now I haven't heard from him in almost 24 hours, and that really puts my anxiety over. He does so well for so long, and then it'll just crash down on him suddenly. I think it's the stress getting to him. It's a lot trying to move to another country, and take someone else with you. But it was also his choice, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. He could've come back here. But I don't think that would've been for the best. As frustrating as this transition has been, I think it'll be worth it when we're settled. Even though he still has an occasional episode, they used to be much worse, and much more frequent. Unfortunately, when he's in an episode, he can't see that things are getting better, he can't see anything beyond the emotional pain. It breaks my heart when he tells me he's tired of fighting it, he just wants peace. I can't imagine what it's like to live with no peace inside your own head. And I can't do anything to help him. All the love, and support in the world won't snap him out of it. As much as it hurts me to do so, the best thing is usually to just stop feeding into it, back off, and let him push through it himself. He knows I'm here, he knows he doesn't have to be alone. It's the suicidal stuff that really scares me. I think if he was going to then he would have a long time ago, but it still scares the shit outta me when he talks about how he just wants to die because everyone would be better off, and he's tired of hurting. I can argue with him for hours about how much I love, and need him, but he can't hear me when he's that deep in. And so I spend all this time wondering if that was the last time I'm ever going to speak to him because what if this time was it? What if he was just gone? I can't even begin to process that. I think I would just quietly lay down, and never get back up. I can't without him. I've been through a lot in my short life, a lot that would break most people. I haven't broken yet, but I think that would do it. And I know I can't be his entire reason to live, but I couldn't handle it if he would put me through that. People fight every day for the people they love, people are fighting every day to stay with the people they love, people are losing that fight every day so to go willingly, and to put that on the people who love you... And I know it's not him, his depressed brain is so not him, but I just want to grab him, and tell him that, to remind him that we already have so little time here. Fifty years isn't enough, a thousand years wouldn't be enough, what if this is all we get? But he can't hear me. He can't hear anything past what's in his own head. I tell him, just hold onto me. It doesn't matter what else is going on, hold onto me, and we'll get through it together. Don't let go.

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20:49 Dec 17 2021
Times Read: 829


That moment you pop the top on a fresh pair of gorgeous boots🖤
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The God Forsaken boots. I'm really into faux fur lately. Wolfie says, "You're beautiful in faux fur, my love, but I mean a real noble lady would usually wear real fur... If you'd like I'll get you a real fur coat. But whatever will make my koroleva happy."
And to that I say:
XTd1-RGWazm6-WIRp-APLy-Zprzqj-QEw-AIg2-Uon-KCk-MY4-Y
I ain't wearing that face.
Honestly, faux fur is just as pretty. I got three things with it actually.

Under The Moon Shrug
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Rose Without Thorns Crop Cardigan
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All beautiful.
And a pretty new dress❤
Hit The Ground Brocade Dress
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It's red, and covered with dragons which immensely pleases me. But... the puff sleeves gotta go xD I dunno who made that design choice, but they're ugly so they're getting the chop.

I got sucked into a designer abyss last night...
So I saw this ad for Louis Vuitton Spell on You perfume pop up on my phone...
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And simultaneously an ad for it also pops up on my TV at the same time.
And I'm thinking, it can't be THAT expensive...
And then I go, and look at the fuckin price.
And immediately the logical, reasonable side of me is like, Aiyana, no, you're not gonna buy $265 perfume when you don't even know what it smells like.
As I'm adding it to my cart xD Because my inner bunny is just like, fuck it, get the perfume, and throw in a new $1000 pair of shoes, you deserve it, and they are offering free shipping... If you're going to spend almost $300 on a smell then you might as well go all in.
Damn that bunny, she's so convincing xD
Did I mention you could wear those shoes when Wolfie gets back? Imagine walking up to him in expensive shoes that you bought yourself.
Ugh... You know it's my mission in life to drive my man wild at any given chance.
And. One of the scent notes is rose. Rose is one of my favorite scents in perfume. So...
I didn't buy it, but I was tempted. Still kinda tempted. If I knew I liked the smell then I would, but what if it doesn't wear well on me? I'm kinda picky about perfume.
So then I start looking at Louboutin heels. Because it's Louboutin, and not Louis Vuitton that makes the iconic red soled shoes. I didn't even know there was a difference between the two xD
Funny thing actually. I was looking at Prada boots a week ago because a friend of mine said she was looking for some so I looked into it, and then Wolfie randomly says to me a couple days later, "I`ll buy bunny some prada. You`ll be my adorable Prada Devil."
And I'm just like... Wolfie... are you tracking me xD I mean, that's fine, I have nothing to hide. The only things you'll find in my search history are clothes, cute comics, and directions to a food truck I was looking for because they have the best rice ever. I didn't find anything from Prada I really liked though. Designer stuff is extremely hit, and miss with me. Most of it is super, ridiculously ugly, but occasionally there's something cute I wouldn't mind having... I did see a table for $100,000+ though. A very ugly table. And it really brought me back to the reality that people usually don't buy things because they're beautiful or well made, they just want the name attached to it. If you look up used Louboutin heels you'll find people who take pictures of these gorgeous shoes, but then they flip them upside-down, and the beautiful red soles that you buy them for? They're completely destroyed after only a couple wears. They're so scuffed. Obviously, shoes are gonna scuff, but you're paying over $1,000 for a shoe that's gonna scuff like any other shoe unless you get the sole covered, but then that completely defeats the purpose of why you bought it. It's just kinda silly. I'm good with my $135 boots because at the end of the day I don't have anyone to impress anyway xD Maybe after I move, but right now the only one to model for is my cat, and he prefers velvet over anything🖤
The description of the perfume really got me though.
"Its composition exalts the duality of a precious flower that symbolizes feminine seduction."
That's so me❤

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02:52 Dec 17 2021
Times Read: 871


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That got dark quick xD
He's so cute when he's craaaazy❤

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00:11 Dec 17 2021
Times Read: 894


It totally blew my mind when I saw Dani fucking Filth...
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In the same shirt I was wearing xD
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It makes sense he wears Killstar, they are a UK based brand. I was scrolling through some news stuff, and it popped up, and obviously I stopped because it was Dani Filth, and I looked at his shirt, and I looked down at mine, and I was like... awesome xD
Personally, I think I pull it off better, but ya know😝
I think I was 15 or 16 when I first heard them. And then I bought the Resident Evil Apocalypse soundtrack, the actual cd xD Which is STILL a great soundtrack, it holds up, I stand by it. And it had Nymphetamine on it. Ah, memories❤
So. Too Faced... Maybe off my shitlist. I wasn't very happy with them when I ordered a bunch of make-up, and ended up only getting two of my items. I was missing an entire eyeshadow palette, mascara, liner, blush, gloss, like literally almost my entire order xD How that happens, I dunno. But I did send them a message about it immediately on Sunday. It did take them til today, Thursday, to get back to me, but ya know, it's the holidays, people are swamped with angry customers, I get it. And I wasn't a bitch when I contacted them, even though I had every right to be. I just told them, hey, you forgot most if my items, here's a picture of what I got, could I perhaps have the rest? Now, Too Faced isn't ridiculously expensive when it comes to makeup, but it's pricier that drugstore crap. For good reason though. You may think $25 for one little bottle of mascara is ridiculous, but once you've tried it you will never want to go back, it's genuinely worth it for the quality. Anyway, they did finally get back to me, and without any argument or struggle or anything they were extremely apologetic, said they'd send out the rest of my stuff immediately, and include free mascara. Nice! I mean, I get it. There are a lot of scammers out there. A lot of people who will say all they got was an empty box just to get shit for free. So usually it's more of fight to get what you actually never received. But it's nice when a company immediately sides with you to make it right. And honestly, it's not like they're not making BILLIONS on makeup anyway.
And the best news... Wolfie got his Slovenian Residency card ^^ So that's one thing less to deal with/stress about. Now he just needs to finish some stuff up in Russia, and I need to get my passport, and we will be good to go. He said something really positive today...
"We're a mess, bunny. It won't be easy, but we'll be ok."
Which... might not sound positive at first xD But for him, it is. It's good. He has hope. That's important. He believes in us, just a little bit further❤

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19:29 Dec 16 2021
Times Read: 927


I showed Wolfie this.
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And he says to me, "You have a very strange sense of humor, little one..."
What? It's cute xD I don't even hardly eat meat, especially cow, it just doesn't taste good. Much like a real bunny, I prefer fruits and veggies. Wolfie is the one who will eat like five steaks a day, but because of his blood condition he needs red meat. It's funny how much we resemble the names we gave each other. I didn't know Wolfie was so wolfish when we met, but his petname ended up being surprisingly on point.
I also found these❤🔪
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I'm just not sure they're worth $100 xD
But they're so cute...

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06:05 Dec 16 2021
Times Read: 957


When Wolfie says:
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And I'm like:
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the-only-sensible-way-to-live-in-this-world
I was the villain all along xD
It's like trying to fit a dragon or a natural disaster or a rainbow into a little box. Doesn't really work.
He's always calling me his Little Queen.
Queens don't belong in boxes❤
The best, and worst things in life are usually the ones you have absolutely no control over.

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03:05 Dec 16 2021
Times Read: 998


Wolfie is supposed to be picking up his residency card tomorrow. At least, the embassy told him it'd be there tomorrow. If he actually gets it then we'll finally be about to start planning his return, and our departure together. He said he has some stuff to do for his cousin, and his nephew's martial arts tournament to go to, but then he'll be free to come back to me whenever. And I'm not going to be upset that he's not coming back immediately, family is important, and his family is pretty messed up so if he's finally enjoying some time with any of them then I want him to have that, I'm supportive. And, like I said, my passport is probably going to take up to a few more weeks, and his lawyer can't start working on my paperwork without it so there's still stuff to do. Aside from that, Wolfie will need a clear covid test days within leaving so he'll have to work that out when he buys his ticket. I hope it's there tomorrow, I'm ready to get things rolling. Even if it'll still be a few more weeks, at least I'll know he has everything he needs to leave. I don't want him to be stuck here for weeks while we wait on my stuff so I'm really not rushing him as much as I want to run, and jump into his arms, it's more important that I'm able to go with him when he comes for me, and if he showed up tomorrow there's no way I could go so it's ok to wait until everything is properly aligned. It's only been about three weeks since I put in all the paperwork, and I did pay to have it done faster, but it could still be a few more weeks with everything that's been going on in the world. I don't know if it'll be any better in Europe, but he says he feels super uncomfortable in the US, and he'd feel safer there so I just want him to be where he'll feel best. He says he's tired of Russia already though. I guess a couple days ago he went out with a friend, and these women were like super aggressively pursuing him, like really trying to get down his pants despite him, and his friend multiple times telling them he has a girlfriend. And I told him, look, you're an extremely attractive, desirable man, I don't blame any woman for wanting a piece xD As long as they keep their bodies to themselves, it's all good. But he was really disgusted about it because people just don't respect relationships, and they don't respect being told no. Hey, this guy told me no, I'm going to act like a relentless bimbo, and thrust my fake tits at him again, surely he can't resist. Like, for fuck's sake, have some self-respect. Like, sure, you should feel free to go after whoever you want, you wanna make the first move, more power to you, but have some fucking class you sloppy whores. And trust me when I say, you ain't gonna like what's underneath, you couldn't handle it if you tried. I mean, Wolfie is a kind, loving soul that I love more than anything, but there's a lot of dark in there too, there's a lot of problems that average people gladly run from. Don't let the handsome exterior fool you, you would not like what he'd do to you if he took you home. Probably not anyway. There are a lot of people who claim to be into BDSM, but saying it, and actually doing it are completely different things. He had mentioned to me the possibility of going full on lifestyle if I would be comfortable with it after I move in, and I don't really think it would change much between us. I already see him as my Dom 24/7, I don't ever think, oh, we're not in a scene so he's not Master anymore, no, he's always Master, but he's always Wolfie too. He's just... him. He's everything to me. He said one of the main things would be that he gets to choose what I wear. I told him that's fine, I'll wear whatever he likes if he wants to buy me new clothes xD I pretty much wear what he likes anyway, especially when it comes to lingerie, I buy stuff mostly based on his tastes. And in public, I also take things off when he likes too so we don't really adhere to only doing it in scenes anyway. He also said he wanted to take control of my diet. Now, most women might be offended by that, but I've specifically told him several times over the last months that when I move in with him, I want him to put me on a better diet. One, because he loves to cook, and he's really great at it. But also because I have minimal self-control xD I don't listen to myself when I try to tell myself no.
No, Aiyana, you don't need those $1000 shoes...
A week later I'm wearing those shoes.
"No, bunny, you don't need that ice cream..."
I will not eat ice cream again until given permission, Sir❤
Directly fed ice cream by him if I'm lucky :3
I need him to set boundaries for me because I will 100% obey him, I enjoy to do so. Sure, I like to be playfully disobedient, obviously I'm a mischievous kitten, but I would never do anything to legitimately disappoint or hurt him, that would hurt my soul for him to ever feel that way. He likes that I'm feisty, he enjoys that I challenge him, and honestly I don't think much would change at all to do it 24/7 now that I'm really thinking about it. I know that nothing relaxes me more than to sink into submission, to give, to please, to be completely his. To be dominated. And I know he feels the same way. Whenever we're both feeling super stressed, and frustrated, and agitated, a session can really melt it all away, and put us both in a much better mood.
I'm finally getting back to jogging. I've been sick about 3 weeks, and couldn't even begin to be bothered to exercise, but I'm finally feeling well enough to even though I do have a slight cough, it's really just an allergy cough at this point. I'd like to spend the night at my brother's house again, they just got a new kitty, but last time I did was when I got sick xD And I have to work Saturday. So we'll see. I guess I'm working Saturday afternoon so I would be free that night. You know I can't resist a new kitty ^^ Wolfie, and I are supposed to get a couple kitties too when I move there. He really wants a Russian Blue, and an Egyptian Mau. I'm just like... a cat is a cat. I have no idea what breed my cat is.
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His breed is Afuckingdorable💗
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A majestic creature xD

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02:43 Dec 15 2021
Times Read: 1,029


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18:55 Dec 14 2021
Times Read: 1,074


Goodbye my savings, it's been real, but I need things❤🖤
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Polish-20211214-125326260

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03:20 Dec 14 2021
Times Read: 1,135


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I don't mean to sound heartless here... but this is just tmi. All that talk about, "If it fits in her budget," and, "Poor Gram had a doctor's appointment," and, "And oh, BTW, I rescue adorable doggies so we're both on a super tight budget, and she's so old, and sick, and has so many bills to pay."
...
So WHY THE FUCK are you allowing her to buy you anything? In this situation, I would be like, I love you, Gram, and your love is enough for me, you don't have to buy me anything since you're old, and sick, and have better things to spend your money on. I wouldn't go begging to anyone for anything, and while she's not directly asking me for a discount, she's totally asking me for a discount. Which is fine, I'm happy to give someone a great deal if they're up front about it, and not trying to guilt me into it. I don't feel guilty for shit. I feel bad for your grandmother for having to deal with your spoiled ass, how about buy your own $35 purse. That's literally all I'm asking for, it's not even a pricey item, it's definitely not worth all these shenanigans. I've got some purses up for $150-200, I'd understand trying to be a weasel about those, but $35? Dude. That's sad. I've been there when $35 felt like a lot of money, I get it, but I never asked anyone for anything when I was at that point. I told her I'd hold it for her while she decided if it was in her "gram's" budget. Remarkably, she never came back. Shocking. I'm so completely surprised that when I didn't offer her a discount she never got back to me. It's unfortunate that so many people do this so you can't really tell who's being honest. People use sob stories constantly to get shit for free.
My cat needs a $10,000 toe surgery, and my husband cheated with my sister, and they kicked me out of the car we were all living in, and my 98 year old aunt is on life support in the hospital, and we're just hoping she makes it through the holidays, and it would really cheer her up if I could get this $50 dress for her, but I only have $2 in my bank account, would you please find it in your heart to sell it to me for $2 with free shipping, come on, it's Christmas AND my birthday.
Like. So much of that information is so unnecessary. But people legit throw down stories like that all the time. I love to help people... who actually need it. But scumbags make it impossible to tell who needs it. So you either help everyone or help no one. Someone like this, it's obvious they're not really in need. If you've actually got ALL that going on, you're not shopping for a new purse unless you're seriously that immature. It's called priorities, responsibility. I love to shop, but if I've got bills to pay, those come first. If my cat needs medicine or food or whatever, that comes before shoes. It's just super disheartening dealing with people like this.

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20:08 Dec 13 2021
Times Read: 1,166


My Hot Topic haul🖤

Nightmare Before Christmas Dress.
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This is actually one of the nicer dresses I've gotten from HT in awhile. I didn't even notice the adorable lil bat buttons when I ordered it.

Lore Olympus AND Sailor Moon
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That moon bunny necklace was the entire reason I decided to order anything. Because in my bunny brain, if I'm going to spend $15 on a necklace then I might as well spend $100 on a whole cart. Don't ask me how that makes sense xD I guess I feel like if I'm going to spend money anyway then I may as well get whatever I want. That's logic to me. And obviously, I love LO, and I plan on putting these on my mini Hades + Persephone backpack.

Moon Dress
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Self-explanatory, I've always been in love with the moon. The funny thing is, this dress is remarkably similar to a Too Fast dress from a few years ago...
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Except the TF one actually has phases to their moons. It says Moon Phase Strappy Dress on the HT site, but whoever made this forgot to put the phases in, and kinda fucked it up xD It's still a really pretty dress.

I gotta go to work in a couple hours. I am feeling a lot better than I was a week ago. The one good thing about working Mondays is my boss makes like really amazing soup on Mondays. Last week he made tomato, and I'm not a fan of tomato soup, but his is so good. We have a small griddle there too so we also make grilled cheese to go with it, and get this... A guy came in last week, ordered a grilled cheese with provolone, and I thought it was with Swiss so I used Swiss, and he comes back up after eating it, and tells my boss how spicy the cheese was. And I'm just like, wtf xD Swiss cheese isn't even remotely spicy. I admit, I did make a mistake which I didn't realize til after he ate it, but dude... You must think water is pretty iffy too if your taste buds can't handle Swiss cheese. Just sayin. This is probably why I should only be allowed to hand out ice cream, and candy. I'm nowhere near as bad as the other girl who works there though, she messes shit up constantly, and my boss refuses to get onto her because she cries. I told him, eventually she's going to be working for someone who isn't such a bleeding heart, you're not doing her any favors by babying her, time to toughen up. If she's putting out stuff that isn't up to everyone else's quality then that's only going to hurt their business if no one corrects her ever. I told him I'd do it, I got no problem being the bitch in charge xD

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04:18 Dec 13 2021
Times Read: 1,201


Too Faced has officially made my shit list. For fuck's sake... So I ordered several things last week from them, and when I got home today it was waiting for me. So, in their defense, it did ship pretty fast. If only it wasn't missing most of my fucking order. I received two out of the seven things. I just wanna know who fucked that up, who cleared that? And the other stuff isn't sold out, it's still up on their site so clearly somebody was not paying attention. And I knew it as soon as I picked up the box that something was missing because makeup isn't heavy, but it weighed nothing, and whatdyaknow, it was filled with a ton of shitty pink tissue paper, a liquid eyeshadow, and a highlighter. That's it. Granted, the eyeshadow was the Chocolate Bunny eyeshadow, it was the most important thing I had wanted, but the highlighter was free so I essentially paid $65 for an eyeshadow, and it's sure nice, but they're gonna fucking give me my other stuff or a pretty big refund. And I was just talking about how lucky I've been with online ordering, that most of my orders are perfect. This has happened with Killstar though, the US warehouse has fucked a few of my orders with missing items, and I've always gotten my money back. This is also the exact reason I stopped shopping from Too Fast, for several orders in a row almost everything I ordered from them was out of stock despite showing in stock on their site so after a week or two when they finally would get to my order they'd either ship it anyway with items missing and not tell me or email me, and ask if I wanted other sizes or cheaper items to replace them. The very last time I ordered from them they pulled that shit, and after a very angry conversation with their customer service, who knew me very well at that point, they fully refunded me, but then a week later I also got my order. So... $300 worth of clothes for free. But their designs have also gotten really garbage so I haven't felt the need to shop from them directly again although I did order a cute hat/gloves set by them from somewhere else. I just don't understand who was packing my order, looked at the form, and said to themselves, "Seven items... Two in the box, good to go." How does that happen? It had a 2lbs label on it, you wouldn't ship two small items in a huge box with a 2lbs label, obviously there was more stuff to go, moron. I know it's such a miniscule thing, but again, I'd like this year to be fucking over, I am over it xD If Wolfie doesn't get his card on Thursday then I'm gonna have a major tantrum. It won't help anything, but it might make me feel better. It hasn't been a bad year, it's actually been pretty steady as far as things go. But it would be a very happy ending if he got his card, and could be on his way back in a couple weeks. But then again... He's been spending a lot of time with his cousin, and his nephew. I guess it's not technically his nephew since it's his cousin's kid, but he treats him like a nephew. And it's been good for him to be around his family. The ones who aren't completely psychotic. So maybe it's ok for him to stay there a bit longer. As much as I want him back, I don't want to rip him away if he wants to be there longer. He told me they can always visit us in Europe, but he was also telling me his nephew invited him to his martial arts thing next week, and he was really excited about it because Wolfie is trained in some of that stuff too so I don't want him to feel pressured to come back immediately if he has plans with his family especially with Christmas coming up. I spent all weekend with mine, mostly swimming with my nieces and nephews. So I get it. My passport still hasn't come in yet anyway so there's really no rush until it's here.
Also, turns out, I might have had covid. I probably should have gotten it checked, but I didn't think the symptoms matched up. But then my mom gets sick right after me, she gets checked, she has it. And at this point I've had this for over two weeks, and I'm feeling mostly over it now. I have had a cough, but absolutely no trouble breathing, it's really all been in my sinuses which is why I personally think I just had a sinus infection. Whereas my mom was super tired, and fatigued with a headache, and I haven't felt like that. Like I never felt bad enough to not go to work, I never felt flu-like. So if I had it then it really didn't hit me hard. I do work tomorrow which feels weird since I haven't worked since last Tuesday. I wish that they would just fire me because going in for two days is just stupid. I'll feel kinda bad for leaving since the other girl who works there is also leaving soon, but they really don't need either of us, and they get people in there all the time wanting to apply. The problem is that it's mostly teenagers who apply, and they want to pay a teenager level wage, but have grownass people working there. You get what you pay for, most adults aren't going to accept that. I did because I was bored, and wanted a job to pass the time. I don't need my job to survive. Even if my parents, and siblings, and friends all refused to help me then Wolfie would set me up somewhere, I don't need to worry about money for most necessities if something happens. It makes me feel bad for people out there who legit have absolutely no one. Something happens to them, and no one to help or care. It's sad. How does a person get like that in life? Wolfie always says that without me he'd be alone in the world, but that's not really true. He's got friends, and he's got a few family members who aren't totally nuts. But, like he says, he wears a lot of masks with a lot of people. I'm the only one who gets to see what's really underneath. Outwardly he's very cold, and stoic, that's how he presents himself. Underneath though he's super nerdy, and adorable, and sweet, and kind, and even though he claims he's not, he's very romantic. He just feels like he can't be vulnerable with anyone but me. Which us fine, you should be able to be a certain way with the love of your life that you're not with anyone else. Especially his voice, he's very emotionless when he talks to everyone else. We'll be on video chat, and he'll get a call, and he'll be talking very sternly to someone in Russian for like 10 minutes then all the sudden, "Hii Bunny ^^ I love you, you're so cute I just wanna squish youuuuu." So adorable. And then he'll be like, "No, I am manly and strong, I am fierce protector." True... But you're also a marshmallow like me :3 We're a two-pack of Peeps, smooshed together forever. Now give me a piggyback ride to the Gelato shop xD
And that's about how it goes💗
That's what's nice about being short, and having a really tall boyfriend, just hop right on him.
I really miss him.

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04:33 Dec 11 2021
Times Read: 1,257


First of all... I am in love with these sunglasses.
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The Quinn sunglasses, they also make them in black, but you know me, I had to have the pink💗

More of the housewares came in today too, and Wolfie thinks everything is adorable.
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Everything is bigger than I expected which is great since these aren't super cheap. I was expecting them to be like mug size because in the pictures they don't look very big, but they're actually pretty big. And nothing broke so hopefully we can ship them back across the ocean without issue. When I told Wolfie I was buying stuff for the apartment he was like, "Why am I imaging you've bought us a huge bronze statue?"
...
Why would I buy a bronze statue?
Silly Wolfie xD
He's a lil crazy, but ya know, that's why I love him.
He lives a very minimal lifestyle though. Every place he's had has had almost no decoration aside from the stuff I've put there. Yeah, I can't live like that, I need some sort of aesthetic. Most of the stuff I've bought is probably for the kitchen, but that's most of what Killstar sells is terms of household items, rugs and kitchen stuff. Alchemy Gothic has some nice stuff too though, and Sourpuss has some shelves I want. I just don't want to buy too much since we're going to have to ship most of it. I'm just grabbing stuff while it's on sale, lotta great sales happen at the end of the year. I definitely have enough cannisters though so we're looking for sales on Gothic shelves...
Also. Gorgeous new dress.
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The Good Ghoul dress. I wasn't super impressed with this dress from the pictures, it's extremely basic, but then I put it on, and it's really pretty worn.
Annnnd is the backpack, and beret that match the outfit from yesterday.
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Like I said, I love this tartan, and these were both on sale pretty cheap during their black friday sale. I have a couple mini backpacks, but I felt like I needed a full sized one. And I'm already going to use it when I go out of town in the morning so it came at the perfect time.
My KS US order shipped today, and my DK order from last night also got sent out. Unfortunately, the order I made back on the 24th hasn't shipped, but I think it's because I had a pre-order item in my order. I'm not thrilled that they're basically waiting an entire month on one item to ship me everything, but as long as it's shipped eventually then it's fine. My Too Faced order also immediately shipped out. I've never ordered from them online, but it seems pretty great so far. Maybe some people are just unlucky when it comes to ordering online. I read a lot of KS reviews saying stuff arrived broken, but that's never happened to me. Not yet anyway. Hopefully never xD
I'm all packed, and ready for tomorrow. Two things are priority when I'm packing. The first is my phone charger. The second is my favorite wolf plushie, Artorias. I never stay away from home without him. Even when Wolfie is going too I'm like, ok, but I'm still bringing Artorias xD I am planning in giving most of my plushies to the kids when I leave, but I'd like to take a couple of my wolves. And my pink Cthulhu, and my Duplexity bear. And maybe my Grumpy Bear... But my niece gave me Grumpy Bear so that's totally justified. I was at my brother's house earlier picking up the older kids, and my 3 year old niece always lures me into her room, and puts herself against the door to hold me hostage, and keep me from leaving. I gave her this big pink panda that I've had forever, and she always gives it to me to play with. She'll hand me that plushie, and a fake lemon, food and entertainment. At least she's a polite kidnapper xD Eventually her brother, my 7 year old nephew, comes to my rescue, and she just starts wailing on him with her tiny fists. I know that as an adult I'm supposed to intervene, but it's always so adorable it's hard to get onto her. My youngest nephew is pretty attached to me. I mean, they all are, but him especially. He told Wolfie, "You're allowed to marry my aunt, but you can't take her away."
And Wolfie says, "Sorry, buddy, but I'm gonna have to take her."
I told him, you must bring candy to offer in trade. How much candy am I worth?
Of course, without missing a beat he says, "But Bunny is priceless..."
Awww... No, seriously, we're gonna need a smoke bomb or something to distract them while we run away xD

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08:40 Dec 10 2021
Times Read: 1,304


I'll take this, that, and a new pair of those❤
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20:45 Dec 09 2021
Times Read: 1,347


Alright, round one of my KS orders is here. None of the housewares arrived broken, and all of the clothing is gorgeous. I told Wolfie I started buying stuff for the apartment, and he was so happy that I want to make it our cozy home.

Daemon Teacup + Saucer
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I'll admit, I'm kind of a teacup set addict xD I've got a whole collection going. But that's fine because Wolfie, and I do love our tea time. This one is so gorgeous though, moons and bats❤ There are a couple more on sale right now for £10 that I may also have to grab...

Astral Body Mirror
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I'm shocked that this did not break. I thought for sure eventually something wouldn't make it, and mirrors are so fragile, but it's pretty solid. There's another moon mirror I'd like to get next. There's always another of everything xD

Mortal Coil Dish
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Is it a candy dish? Is it a vase? Is it a planter? It could be anything. It would look really pretty with flowers in it...

Wicked Witch Rug
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I dunno. I thought it was cute xD

Coffin Sleep Boots
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Basically they're Killstar's Broomrider boots with bats instead of moons. I do love my pink Broomriders, and I love bats so these would be better in pink, but I like them in black.

Freak Flag Jacket + Secret Misson Top
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I am so in love with this look. I already owned the skirt, and I really wanted the jacket so I got the undershirt to match with it, and it's all perfect together. This tartan is my favorite because it doesn't have any yellow, it's just red/black/white. Definitely one of my favorite new cold weather looks.

End of the Line Knit
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Another easy look. Sometimes I really love Killstar's knits, and sometimes I can't stand them. This one is pretty nice though, and the length is perfect to wear as a mini dress. I really need some thigh high boots.

Headspin Dress
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I don't feel right putting in an order, and not getting a dress xD Killstar's dresses haven't really been that great in awhile. And this one will probably end up for sale. But it's not bad.

Another big order coming in tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow, and not Saturday since I will not be home on Saturday. Wolfie said they told him his card will be there to him next Thursday so hopefully it's right this time. He's now getting started on my paperwork to get me a residency card next so I can go with him back to Europe when he gets back here. Hopefully, finally things are moving. It still doesn't really feel real yet, I don't think it will until he's back, and telling me we're leaving. I'm ready though. It's about damn time❤

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05:16 Dec 09 2021
Times Read: 1,373


original-4
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05:06 Dec 09 2021
Times Read: 1,390


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04:33 Dec 09 2021
Times Read: 1,408


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00:21 Dec 09 2021
Times Read: 1,458


I absolutely bought a $21 eyeshadow just because it's named Chocolate Bunny.
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I can't resist bunny things.
I mean, it's Too Faced so... I really, really love their makeup. That's why I also got these.
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And then this.
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So for $65 I got mascara, liner, eyeshadow, palette, highlighter, blush, and gloss. Yeah, I'm kind of a makeup addict xD It's hard to say which I love buying more: shoes, clothes or makeup. I do prefer KVD mascara though. Too Faced is good, but KVD makes it look like I'm wearing false lashes, it is black magic witchcraft, they're so big after, it'll change your life.
Wolfie actually shocked me this morning... He doesn't like shopping. Typical man, right? But he went out, and bought himself some new clothes. He found this place with super nice stuff he wants to take me to, and buy me everything. He has this fantasy of taking pictures of me in a fur coat and heels. Ya know... like a really, really expensive call girl xD Hey, he's actually quite nice at photography, and not every photo has to be dirty. Of course, I then teasingly called him daddy, as in my sugar daddy, and he always gets in such a twist when I call him that, it's adorable. He says it's creepy, but I think secretly he kinda likes it... I mean, I don't mean daddy as in Little daddy. That's not my thing, and unfortunately DDLG has kinda ruined that term of endearment for anyone else. One of my favorite movies is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Marilyn Monroe calls her fiance daddy in that because it used to be exactly that, a term of affection. Now you can't use it without somebody accusing you of being a Little or having daddy issues. I got nothing against Littles either, I'm friends with quite a few of them, it's just not my personal thing. It's like people who lump up all witches as Satanic. Just no, Satan is also very much not my thing, sorry xD I'm just saying. Wolfie is Wolfie, and he's always gonna be Wolfie no matter what so it doesn't really matter, but still❤
Two outta my three KS orders finally shipped though. Still waiting on the one from the US warehouse to ship because of course I am because they fucking suck. I was reading through some of their reviews last night, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had issues with half their orders being missing, and things taking forever to ship. That's pretty standard for them according to the reviews. Also that their customer service is busted, but I've personally never had an enjoyable customer service experience with any company so that's not surprising. Dealing with people is pretty unpleasant all around, in general, humans suck. But my HT order is stuck in Indiana. My DK order, made 3 weeks ago, not even shipped. Yay, holidays. Like I said, I'll be totally happy when this year is over. It's crazy, right? On New Year's Eve I got my platinum in Bloodborne... It's been a year already. Everything is going so fast suddenly.

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08:35 Dec 08 2021
Times Read: 1,491


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04:33 Dec 08 2021
Times Read: 1,526


Wolfie is not having a great time. He's getting angrier, and angrier about his stupid card still not having shown up. And it's pretty typical, ya know, most government organizations aren't known for making things fast or easy. I keep telling him, just relax. What's the point in being upset over it? There's absolutely nothing we can do except wait. He can go to the embassy, and yell at them again, but... If they don't have it yet then it's really not their fault. See, that's one major difference between us. He is constantly stressed out over the things he can not control because he's so used to controlling everything that when something happens that he can't control, it completely throws him off. I am the opposite. I understand that I am thrown about by the whims of the Universe. Control is an illusion. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, may as well just enjoy the ride, hope for the best. I've told him, the Universe will sort itself out, just give it time. But he's a typical man of action, and if it's not happening quick enough he thinks he can force it. Which is causing him massive amounts of stress. He told me, "I did so much stuff to finally make Bunny happy, just a little more and it`s done." I am happy though. I'm happy just to have him. Of course I want us together, and I'm glad he's doing all of this to give us a good life, I know he's trying so hard. He's worried about me, and I'm worried about him, and it's just a big mess, and neither of us can do anything about it. He said he's ready for us to get back to Europe. He wants to start working, buy a nice camera for photography, write more, make me a room for painting. And a convection oven. That was another thing on my list for the apartment aside from a really big closet, a nice convection oven to bake him things in every day. Because I love making him things, and he loves eating the things I make so it's win-win. It always hurts my heart when he tells me no ever baked him anything before me, like, he should have all the yummy treats all the time. This card is really holding everything up, and now I'm always afraid he's going to get stuck in Russia if he doesn't get out soon. And even if his card came in tomorrow, and he was here next week, we'd still be waiting on my passport, and paperwork before we could leave here so honestly, there's no huge hurry. I know he wants to get back to me as soon as possible, but he also chose to go do this instead of coming back so here's the consequence. And yeah, it was probably better to go ahead, and get all this out of the way now, but he also could've been back here in June. Just saying. He's acting like it's super shocking that any government is being so slow. Hello, are you new to Earth xD How dare any government system inconvenience anyone, that is so unlike them. I just hope that next year starts good because obviously he's not going to be back before then so maybe we can have a fresh start with good things happening, maybe next year everything will come together smoothly, and all my dreams will come true.
Yep, totally not living in denial xD

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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
13:59 Dec 08 2021

Still hoping for the best for you.





 

20:12 Dec 06 2021
Times Read: 1,567


I don't wanna go to work. It just feels stupid to work two days a week. It feels not worth it. It feels like obviously they don't need me so why am I doing it? And it's not like my job is hard or time-consuming, it's just kinda pointless for me at this point. I initially took this job to get some experience, I needed something basic, entry-level to get me started so if I ever needed an actual decent job then it would be easier to get. I've been here a few months, I already do everything better, and faster than everyone else, there's really nothing more for me to learn here. And just to put this into perspective, I made almost $500 yesterday in one day in sales, I'll be making maybe $100 over the course of two whole weeks staying here. Granted, they do usually give me extra shifts. They asked me to work last Wednesday, but I was sick, then asked me to work next Saturday, I already have plans to be out of town so. They're also going to be closed from like the 24th to the 2nd, and it's just dumb because why would you be closed through most of the time when kids are out of school for Winter break? When you're selling candy, and ice cream, most people come in because of their kids. It's just common sense. These people don't understand how you run a business. Like, yeah, it's nice to give everyone a chance to be with their families around Christmas, but then you've got people like me who don't really give a shit, and would work whenever. The only reason I'd care is if Wolfie was here, but at that point I'd be quitting anyway so. I spend enough time with my family, and Halloween is really our holiday so Christmas isn't a huge deal. This last weekend was actually the first weekend in probably 18 months that there weren't any of my nieces or nephews here xD They are always here. But I was sick so I didn't feel like messing with them. I've been sick ever since I spent the night at my brother's house, I blame him. I am feeling a lot better though, obviously I wouldn't be dying my hair if I were dying. Probably not anyway. See, my thinking was, I wanted my hair to be blonde, and perfect when Wolfie gets back so naturally as soon as I dye my hair Wolfie will get his card, and be able to come back because the Universe likes to fuck people like that. The Universe definitely won't punish me for trying to trick it xD Actually, a big piece if wood fell on my leg while I was taking pictures last night, and then I accidentally cut myself with scissors... Divine retribution or entirely too accident prone? Could go either way.
Oh. But. Killstar must have heard that I was looking to buy housewares... Because immediately after I mentioned that I was buying a bunch of their housewares they put on a sale buy 2, get 1 free on all their housewares xD Don't you love when stuff like that happens? It happens to me all the fucking time. But it means I got a few more things, including a super adorable ceramic ghost cannister. Hey, Wolfie told me he wants me to decorate the apartment, and I warned him that it's going to be spooky, and witchy, and gothy as shit. I may even have two apartments to decorate since he's trying to decide whether he wants to keep the apartment in Russia for us to use when we visit or rent it out. He'll probably end up renting it out, but he did say it had the perfect room for a playroom so he kinda wants it for us. Multiple apartments means multiple wardrobes... The possibilities❤

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05:38 Dec 06 2021
Times Read: 1,628


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Decided to add a touch of red to my pretty blonde hair❤
Being a blonde suits me. But... being a redhead also really suits me as well. It may go full red eventually, I haven't decided.
It's Ritual by Arctic Fox. I thought it would be a bit too dark, but it's actually completely perfect.
I also got past the Watcher Knights in Hollow Knight.
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Bitchin'.
But then I fought The Hollow Knight...
And very quickly ran away xD
No, really, fuck that.
I've heard he's really not a difficult fight when you actually try, but I'll go back later. He immediately reminded me of Artorias. I don't think it's possible to play too much Dark Souls, but if it were I would probably have passed that line a looooong time ago.
You're thinking about playing Dark Souls right now, aren't you, Aiyana?

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21:12 Dec 05 2021
Times Read: 1,645


d09
That's not entirely true... I talk to my boyfriend, and my cat every day xD
And I do a lot of shouting at my video game💜

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05:56 Dec 05 2021
Times Read: 1,685


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Why don't I own any of this?
Yeah... Revolution isn't great quality, but you're paying for the packaging. I can live with that.
I'm eternally torn between Batman and Joker.
My heart is like, I got you, B-man, I would never forsake you for Mistah J.
Totally would not ever happen... I've always been like that, torn between opposites of everything, forever trying to balance both sides.
Wolfie says I'm attracted to dangerous men.
Yeah... I think if you take a big long look at my line of exes, you'd disagree. If anything they've all been extremely average, ordinary, normal. Wolfie is the only one who stands out among them. But I guess that's probably what most people think when they look at their past love interests. I'm sure everyone looks at every single one of their former mates, laughs hysterically, and asks themselves, "No, seriously, dude, what the ever living fuck were you attracted to in this person?"
Right?
Wolfie is the only one who... he's just everything. The best of everything. Dark, light, seductive, adorable, strong, vulnerable. He is my absolute comfort in this Universe❤

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rav3nb1rd
rav3nb1rd
18:06 Jun 21 2022

thats how i feel about my boyfriend. hes just different from my exes.





 

01:21 Dec 05 2021
Times Read: 1,718


Polish-20211204-191820266
Want❤

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06:56 Dec 04 2021
Times Read: 1,753


68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f
68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f
❤🖤

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00:52 Dec 04 2021
Times Read: 1,781


5c3dcc1e922817f692a036fb457710f3

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05:05 Dec 03 2021
Times Read: 1,818


In my dream, the one where at the end I was running in a dress, I wasn't running away from something, I was running towards this pair of doors. But it was one of those slow-motion running dreams where you're trying your hardest, but barely moving. My feet were bare, the floor was so slippery, I was running, but every stride was an effort. What was I running to? What was beyond the doors?
I remember bursting through them, but not what was on the other side. In that moment, Wolfie messaged me on my phone, and it woke me up.
He had messaged me to tell me he had bought some new Winter shoes.
Thrilling, I know.
I love when he tells me those little parts of his day though.
Tell me everything❤

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03:51 Dec 03 2021
Times Read: 1,840


2021-12-02-21-49-47
b2iw9lzr5g531
xD

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23:19 Dec 02 2021
Times Read: 1,872


EGS-Saints-Row-Deep-Silver-Volition-S1-2560x1440-1ba560d3f228fe5c7341777a6ac9abb7
It's bad enough when they constantly do shitty remakes of movies...
Just, no. No, no, no.
Why would I want to play this when I can play the original 4? I love the original 4. Like I get it, in 4 the Earth was kinda destroyed so where are you gonna go with that, but this is just dumb. I can't imagine being the Boss, and not having the original crew. I said the same thing about Mass Effect Andromeda, it's not the same without Shepard, and the crew, and it's really not. Andromeda isn't terrible, I was really interested to see where the story was going, but I wasn't invested in any of the characters. I couldn't tell you a single one of their names. It was the opposite for Dragon Age, 1 and 2 kinda sucked, Inquisition is amazing.
I'm just saying. I don't like it when game developers try to take a new direction, it usually sucks. A lot. Stop doing that. Stop trying to be innovative, and creative, give me the old stuff I love xD
I had a dream last night... My cat had brought a lady cat home, and she had kittens. But then the kittens died because my niece put them in a box with no airholes. Then I was riding a pitch black horse with firey hair. Then I was running through a building in a red poofy dress.
That's a lot for one dream😐
I also had a dream a few nights ago that the moon turned red. And then it turned into the Deathstar xD
Yeah. I don't know either.

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07:55 Dec 02 2021
Times Read: 1,901


2021-12-02-01-42-13
I would agree that Hollow Knight reminds me of a Souls game.
You've got that initial panic when you first fight a boss, and get your face stomped in. Eventually you get stuck somewhere, die like 50 times against said boss so you give up for like two weeks, and when you come back you beat it in one try xD
It never fails.
I don't remember having as much trouble with Bloodstained bosses.
Wolfie says Elden Ring looks like garbage. I'm a bit more optimistic.

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03:23 Dec 02 2021
Times Read: 1,932


Polish-20211201-211423409
When you meet the only person in the entire Universe who can handle your type of crazy you never let that one go❤

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02:55 Dec 01 2021
Times Read: 1,497


Immediately after I said I was going to go find Broken Vessel, and kick their ass, I went, and kicked their ass, and got my double jump. I keep wanting to call it empty vessel, but that's Binding of Isaac. So now I'm up to the second Hornet fight, and she's just a bit tougher now, awesome. But I need her item to make significant progress. I had to go to work though. I didn't really want to go to work. I could've called in sick. Buuuut I didn't, I'm actually feeling a bit better. My boss still isn't back from their Thanksgiving vacation so I have to work with the cranky old lady who trained me. She's really nice as a person, but as a coworker... She's the kinda person who is nice to your face then complains about you behind your back. I don't like that. If you have a problem with me then tell me, don't tell everyone around me like a weak bitch. Also the things she complains about, she also does. Example: The boxcutter I mentioned a couple weeks ago, the one I left in the backroom that my boss took the blame for, and she went off about. Well. Last Thursday he found another boxcutter laying on a box in the boxcutter. And when I told him it wasn't me this time he then gleefully, giggling texted her to let her know of her fuckup. What was her response? "Everybody makes mistakes." Uh huh... But when someone else did it, it was almost the end of the fucking world because of child endangerment. She does it, shrug, oh well, it was an accident. Like, come on, lady. And she's that way about everything, if you fuck up it's the worst thing ever, if she fucks up in the exact same way, hey, no big deal. I hate hypocrites. But I'm only working til Wednesday this week then a four day weekend. I'm always considering quitting this job because working 2-3 days a week is super pathetic, the money is next to nothing, and getting out into the cold really sucks when I could be warm playing my game. It just feels silly holding onto it for practically nothing. And my boss tells me I'll go back to 4-5 days a week in March, listen buddy, I hope I ain't still here in March, if I am then something really went wrong. That's why I keep telling them not to fire the other girl who works there even though she's really slow, and lazy, and you have to be on her constantly to do anything. They want to fire her, and give me her hours, but I'd rather they didn't cause hopefully I'll be leaving soon, and then they're gonna need her. They did say she's been doing better since I started working there because she feels threatened by me. I never understood why so many women have felt threatened by me in my life. I don't want your job, I don't want your man, I don't want anything you got, for real, relax. Wolfie says it's because I'm an alpha among females. I like how he says among females like I can't hold my own against men. I don't think that's what he meant, but still xD But yeah, even while I'm sick I can still way outpace her so she's not really trying that hard, it's kind of pathetic. She should be there working instead of me, but like I said, I'm stubborn. Plus I can have all the hot specialty tea I can drink here so I may as well. They are giving me tomorrow off though. Well... they asked if I wanted to work, and I was like, uhhh, I will if you need me, but if you don't then I'd prefer to rest. Maybe five days at home will help me get over this.
Wolfie seems a bit better, I really think his emotional stability has vastly improved. It used to be that if he got really down about something then he'd be down for weeks, sometimes even months. But lately he's bouncing back much better. He's been talking to a therapist, and he genuinely seems to possibly be helping Wolfie get better. Wolfie says it's because of me that all this is happening, but it's him, he's the strong one. He just needed the support. No body should have to go through life alone. I'm proud to be the one he chose to be by his side❤

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