Honor: 103 [ Give / Take ]
58 entries this month
22:00 Mar 31 2022
Times Read: 275
20:01 Mar 31 2022
Times Read: 296
Ohhhh, I love it💗
Where the fuck would I wear it?
07:17 Mar 31 2022
Times Read: 329
00:58 Mar 31 2022
Times Read: 366
Another $300 bites the dust💗
To be fair, I've wanted those shoes for months, and I saw they were 50% off so... Right into my cart. I'm really feeling the hot pink lately. My boss said he ordered a neon pink paint for my bike so we'll see if it's acceptable. I didn't want pastel or fuschia, I want like actual bright pink, pink.
But I've sold over $1000 of stuff just this week... Usually in a week I'll do around $500 so $1000 is pretty awesome, and I get paid tomorrow. Look, I already reached $10,000, I saw it, I got there, goal complete, doesn't mean I need to stay there xD I'm going to try to maintain $9000, try not to go below that. Like, I was talking to a good friend of mine a couple weeks ago, and he asked me what I was saving all this money for... I mean, I genuinely don't know anymore. It was to help move, but who fuckin knows if Wolfie will ever get his shit together. I have a vehicle now, fully paid for, so that's taken care of. I will admit my spending is getting a little out of control, that's just kinda what happens when Wolfie leaves me mostly unsupervised. But that's why I put the limit on myself, I will not get below $9000... by more than a couple hundred xD
06:00 Mar 30 2022
Times Read: 414
My boss was telling me he's trying to get enough people together to start a LARPing thing in the park... And so he asked if I'd be interested.
Ya know... As much as I love gaming, most especially fantasy rpgs, I just don't know if I'm ready to go that far. I am a gigantic nerd, but... I have limits xD I mean, one of my good friends is pretty big into that stuff. He was showing me his armor a couple months ago, and I was like yeah... That's kinda hot though, I could get into this xD
But he's putting this all together with the same guy who he's trying to set up D&D night with. And I've met this guy a lot, he usually comes in at least once a week because he works for the newspaper close by, and he's really good friends with my boss. He asked if I'd seriously be interested in playing D&D with them because they wanted to get several people involved. The only other female they've found is my boss's wife who is also a super nerd. I recently found out that Batman is one of her favorite people too so... I might have to steal her from my boss xD We'll just run away together. But this guy who is going to DM, he's... As far as I've interacted with him, he's extremely reserved, quiet, timid. He doesn't really seem like DM material. Now my boss tells me he comes from a super strict religious background. Naturally, my first thought is, oh... How easy would it be to take this sweet, innocent soul, and completely corrupt him? I wouldn't because I completely, madly adore my boyfriend, but if I didn't... Well, honestly, it would be too easy, there's no challenge in that. My boss says he thinks he's a closet perv(because how you can be a nerd and not a perv?)which intrigues me, makes me wanna pry out all of those dark secrets... I'm really good at that, ya know, people just love to tell me their dark, dirty desires. Probably because I'm so blatantly open about my sex life it makes people comfortable talking to me, and telling me everything. But I will not use my powers for evil on this poor boy xD
Remember... It's not evil if no one saw you do it🖤
04:55 Mar 30 2022
Times Read: 435
21:11 Mar 29 2022
Times Read: 471
New shoes make everything better💗
They are so unbelievably adorable, and I almost completely passed them up, but I'm glad I saw them :3
Along with new Headwear...
I mean... Cute but Psycho might have been better, but creepy is good too🖤
04:03 Mar 29 2022
Times Read: 516
I didn't notice how annoyed the bunny's face looked when I bought it xD Resting bun
And this gorgeous mini dress.
What sucks about this dress is that the pictures don't do it justice, I couldn't tell what was actually printed on it from them, but I saw it had moons, and I loved the color. And it's actually covered in like pages from Spell books so it's kinda perfect.
Here's my bunny hoodie :3
I feel like over the last year or so bunny ear things have gotten really popular. Which is great for me ^^
And a matching top, and adorable little Suspender Skirt.
And then because I wear my hair in pigtails to work I got some new cute batty clips.
Glittery of course :3
I came home to two big packages from KS, and one from DK then tomorrow another one in from DK, and Wednesday another from KS. Yeah... Needless to say, I spent a lot of money this weekend. But I also sold a ton, and I get paid on Wednesday so it all evens out.
I drove myself to work for the first time today, and it was pretty great. I love having my own vehicle, and I love that I don't need a car. Like I said, I'm perfectly capable of driving, I just really don't enjoy it. A bike is better for me. And when I got to work my boss told me he already ordered the paint, clear coat, and some Hello Kitty decals for me xD He seriously spoils me. I mean, I'm adorable, how could you not spoil me? But he also ordered a decal for the shop to stick on there so he gets a little free advertising. I'm fine with that since he's doing all the work, and paying for everything xD It occurred to me actually... I never asked Wolfie if I should or could before I bought this. I just did it. Obviously, I buy a lot of things without telling him. But a vehicle in kinda big. And he's not upset or anything, it just seemed kinda weird to me that I didn't even consider discussing it with him, I just did it. But as much as he loves me being his sub, he also wants me to be a strong, independent bun while he's away. And I feel like I'm really getting there. I'm getting my shit together on my own, and that feels amazing.
05:35 Mar 28 2022
Times Read: 587
The Wolfie situation sucks.
I don't like that he's in Russia. I don't like that he's willingly choosing to stay there longer although I did tell him that I support him, and I do, I still don't like it. Even though he tells me that everything the world is saying about Russia is bullshit, and I believe him because he's the intelligent man I love, and my mom has been talking to a Russian friend of hers, and when I told her everything Wolfie told me she 100% backed him up based on what she's heard, but I STILL don't like it.
Aside from him, positivity, things are pretty awesome here.
I have a great job, I make good money(just got another raise :3), I just bought my first vehicle, I have money in the bank, all the beautiful things I could possibly want, and my beloved kitty.
I feel like I'm always trying to get somewhere better, but it's pretty ok here right now. Wolfie is always saying he wants us to start a new life, but he holds on to so much. I understand that some things from your past are important, some things you can't ever let go, but some things are just things. He's desperately trying to preserve all this family stuff from his great-grandparents, and grandparents, and I guess I never really had a great relationship with any of mine so I don't understand. There's nothing I'd want from my grandparents if they died, I don't think I'd even really care. But ya know... He was really close to his. His parents, as fucked up as they are, would often leave him in the care of his grandparents so he has really good memories of them, they were a small bit of stability, and kindness among the chaos that was his abusive mother. Wolfie has this blood disease, I can't remember the proper name of it, but I think it's self-eating blood, some kinda autoimmune thing, and when he was little he almost died, but his grandmother gave him blood so he could live, and I'm really thankful for that because now he's still here so I do try to understand wanting to preserve them as much as he can through their things, that's why he went back to Russia now to settle some inheritance stuff, and make sure his grandparents stuff wasn't just all thrown out. And I'm supportive of that. But it's hard to start over with both hands clinging to the past. Like, I'm here, I'm ready, come take me already xD Whenever I say that he gets so flustered, "Bunny, you make it sound like I'm going to spring out of the Earth, and kidnap you." I mean, I wouldn't say no...
But I'm ok. I want him to have as much time as he needs to settle everything. My life is actually pretty good :3 So if it takes awhile longer then I think I'm fine with that. I think that trying to live up to anyone's expectations, but your own only leads to misery. All relationships are different, everyone has their own pace, and their own way of doing things. I feel like I'm always in a hurry for Wolfie to get back because obviously most importantly I miss him tremendously, but also... I hate that people don't take us seriously because he's been gone so long, because we don't live together yet, because it's been almost six years, and we're not married... But who fucking cares? We're happy. We have an amazing relationship. You get so caught up in trying to live up to society's expectations that you just kinda forget, oh, but we're happy so... We'll get there when we get there. I'm 33, Wolfie is 29(30 in August xD), we're both still pretty young, I think we have time to get there❤
I was at work yesterday, and I kept thinking... I love the way he says "beloved." We have many names for each other, but the one we both call each other is beloved. But we say it differently.
I say it like: Be-love-ed
He says it like: Buh-loved
I just love the way he says it :3
23:11 Mar 27 2022
Times Read: 619
Some appropriate fucking armor🖤
I've been wearing the same basic entry level armor all game because I couldn't find anything better. Well... ok. I don't Dress my character based on usefulness. Armor stats mean absolutely zero to me. I Dress her in whatever is cutest or most appropriate for her. Obviously I'm not going to ever wear metal shit, it's too heavy, can't dodge properly. And robes are for magical bitches. In any other Souls game I wear the Black Leather set which is always sold by Patches. Except in this game, he ain't selling it. So I've just been at a loss at what to wear, a real tragedy. I really adore this set though, and assassins are a type of rogue so it fits perfectly. And it reminds me of Eileen the Crow🖤
Wolfie picks on me for putting fashion above function xD
Hey, that just shows how awesome I am. I don't need heavy armor, shields or huge weapons to kill big bosses❤
21:00 Mar 27 2022
Times Read: 645
Needs to be painted first though. Like I said, it's lime fuckin green, and I'm wanting it more Hello Kitty pink. I took it out for a ride earlier today. It really is just like riding a bike. But... A LOT faster xD I can already see myself getting into trouble with this.
Technically, the law doesn't require a helmet, but how could I say no to pink and kitty ears?
I'll probably end up spending several hundred more just customizing it, but worth it, it needs to be kawaiiyfied💗
06:37 Mar 27 2022
Times Read: 685
I had a rough day... Worked nine hours, and I think I only sat down once the whole time.
So I thought some new shoes might make it alllll better :3
Those will definitely hit the spot🖤
I also got my motorbike today. Of course, when my dad brought it to my job to show me, my boss immediately jumped on it, and took off.
Straight up STOLE it right in front of me before I could even ride it xD
Sounds about right.
Then he asked me what shade of pink I'd like it to be so he could get it for me, and put in all the work.
Aw, see, when you're cute guys just want to do things for you all the time💗
I think it's because of my irresistibly adorable angelic face. Wolfie says it's my irresistible ass xD Eh, maybe both.
I'm thinking pastel pink with Hello Kitty decals :3
15:52 Mar 26 2022
Times Read: 737
If I rolled my eyes at THAT any harder they'd roll right out of my head❤
06:23 Mar 26 2022
Times Read: 787
My dad said that when he met my ex he immediately knew he was a very bad person.
Yeah... Pretty sure everyone knows he's a bad person except for him. He's somehow completely oblivious to how unbelievable awful he is.
My dad also says he can't quite tell with Wolfie, whether he's good or bad. So I think that's a good thing xD The only thing he said about him was that he doesn't like being treated like a "dumb hick." The thing is, Wolfie is incredibly formal with most people. Obviously, he loosens up around people he's more comfortable with, like me, close friends, a few family members, but with everyone else he behaves extremely logical, emotionless, analytical. So it's hard to get a read on what's actually underneath all that. He also talks... a lot. He goes into long, in-depth explanations about things where I get to the point of, "Beloved, we're going to be here all night..." He's just a talker, and when he's nervous he tends to ramble which is kind of adorable. Anytime he's been face to face with my parents he's felt the need to explain things to them. Why we're not living together yet, why we're not married, why everything us taking so long, numerous reasons why he's committed and serious about our relationship so they shouldn't worry. And I tell him that it's not really their business. I appreciate that he wants their approval, that he understands their concerns, that he wants them to like him, but our relationship is our choice, it's going at our own pace, and we're fine with where we are so... It doesn't really matter who approves of what. My mom already really likes him so that's a big plus. She says she gets the feeling that he's genuinely a good guy so I'm glad. I told my dad, Wolfie is a nerd, like, possibly a bigger nerd than I am. Get him talking about video games, D&D, Batman, Star Wars, comic books. My father made me the nerd that I am, giving me video games, D&D books, comics, all that stuff when I was younger, I got it all from him so they have a lot in common if Wolfie can loosen up a bit. But then when I tell him that my father says something about how it sounds like someone like that has too much time on their hands.
So. When he's all business he's too uptight, but actually possibly having things in common with you makes him a worthless slacker.
And the truth is, I really don't fucking care whether or bot he likes or approves of the man I love. But Wolfie cares about it. So I have to at least try.
The other day my boss told me, "So when your boyfriend finally gets back you know your dad, brother and I are going to keep you from leaving."
First of all, stop being all buddy-buddy with them, motherfucker. And second, just try it. As much as I appreciate the men in my life thinking they get to tell me what to do. I mean, Wolfie is my Dom, and even with him it's iffy some days on whether he really gets to tell me what to do xD I'm actually a fully grown, competent, capable woman, I have my passport, I could leave tomorrow if I wanted to. Having Wolfie come back to get me is a mere formality, it's not necessary, I can leave at any point. I'm personally more comfortable with him coming to retrieve me, but these assholes are all gonna watch their fuckin behavior.
Don't you just love family xD
My mother was telling my father a couple weeks ago that out of their three daughters I am the only one who inherited her incredibly strong will. Much as I love my sisters, they're so plain vanilla. They're the definition of married with kids, a suburban household, and a dog. Like literally. I hope they're happy like that, but that kinda thing was never for me. I don't know where Wolfie, and I are headed, but it's definitely been an interesting journey together❤
17:21 Mar 25 2022
Times Read: 835
I'm going to need this dress like right fuckin now...
It's called Cherry Blossom Nightmare...
Ah, my heart💗
02:34 Mar 25 2022
Times Read: 866
I saw them, I wanted them, and now they'll be here on Monday xD
And then I found this😍
Which led me to all these...
So clearly I need them all :3
Wolfie always says to me, "You're not little, you're not small, you're petite Bun."
He seemed a bit better today. He explained to me a bit further why he hasn't left Russia yet. He says that there's talk of Russia refusing dual citizenship. So... he may have to choose between his US and Russian passports. And he's leaning more towards giving up the US one because we were working on moving to Europe anyway, but he says that if he gives up his Russian citizenship then they're going to take everything he has there, any property or assests, all of the family stuff that's in his name, the Russian government will take it all. Now... personally, I say, fuck it all, we'll remake the money, we'll get more property, we can get more stuff. We can't get another Wolfie. So he's more important to me than some old family junk. But I do understand. He says that when the Bolshevik Revolution happened his family nearly lost everything so he really wants to save what's left, but I like to think his long gone great-grandparents would perhaps value his life, and happiness more than some property, and old trinkets. But he also says things are being exaggerated, that it's really not so bad there. He said he talked with some Ukrainian refugees in Moscow, and a soldier in the Russian military, and... Well, he told me a lot of very strange things, things that you obviously wouldn't see on the news. It's very interesting to see things from the perspective of someone actually in Moscow right now, it's completely different than what they're shoving down our throats here. Honestly, I don't fuckin trust the US or Russia. I trust him though. And as long as he's safe then I don't mind him continuing to be there until he's comfortable with leaving. I told him that I support whatever he decides... But it does make me uncomfortable. He keeps telling me, "I just need more money so we can have a good start on a new life." But he has to make it back for that to happen. The thing about starting a new life is actually STARTING it. There has to be a point where you're like, ok, this is enough, we can start now. His intentions are so amazing, but it's just like, dude, I just want you to come back now xD
And that's probably why I'm stress shopping. I need to shop or I'll explode. It's a very serious condition😐
04:26 Mar 24 2022
Times Read: 908
Wolfie let me know he's not doing so well, he's feeling incredibly unstable. Yeah, I'm feeling that too. Depression aside, things there aren't great so I don't blame him for however he's feeling. He says his moodswings are particularly bad so... I'm definitely giving him space. I try to assure him that everything will be ok though. He tells me not to worry, he's so silly, he knows I'll always worry regardless. Even when he's right in front of me I still worry. He's Wolfie, of course I worry.
I made decent progress in Elden Ring today. I beat Radahn, finished Ranni's quest, did the first couple Volcano Manor missions, and finally made it inside Leyndell. If there's one thing Souls games do well it's big reveals.
What a productive day doing absolutely nothing in my real life xD
Well, that's not true. I sold $600 worth of clothes to two people. All without leaving my couch💗
19:27 Mar 23 2022
Times Read: 947
You know a boss fight is good when you're breathing heavy, and shaking after it's over xD
I thoroughly enjoyed the Radahn fight, it was just really fun. Even though he could kill me in two hits... I died several times, but eventually I realized that he takes massive bleed damage which the scythe already builds up pretty proficiently, but with a little bloodgrease on top... He was pretty much fucked immediately. That second phase intro though, so awesome, literally falling from the sky like a meteor. I loved it.
And then there was Wolfie knight❤
I can never remember his proper name, he's Wolfie knight to me :3
So now... I need to tackle the capital. After several more hours of mindlessly wandering around xD I still feel like I barely know any of the lore. There's Marika who I'm incredibly curious about, but I'm finding so little about her. And her kids are the demi-gods you're fighting. But... that's pretty much all I know xD That's pretty typical for a Souls game though. It usually takes me a couple playthroughs before it all starts clicking together.
01:41 Mar 23 2022
Times Read: 987
I really want to get back into flipping Lolita dresses. Since I was saving my money, and trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible I hadn't been looking for them for awhile. The last one I'd bought, and sold was towards the end of September. So since work has been completely dead I've been browsing Japanese marketplaces, just seeing if there's anything interesting to buy. If you're going to buy, and sell Lolita you really need to know what you're doing because some designs sell for a lot more than others. It always makes me laugh when people ask me, "So where do you get your inventory, what sells best?" Why would I tell you though? So you can do the same exact thing as me, and take my business? I've seen a lot of complaints about slow sales lately, but I haven't personally had much trouble. I have very dedicated clientele, and I'm pretty great at what I do, finding things that people want, and selling them for a lot of money.
I was able to leave work an hour early. That's the deal I make my boss on extremely slow days, if we're dead by seven then I leave at seven instead of eight. I have the next three days off so at least there's that, and my boss wants to switch me from Mondays to Wednesdays which are usually busier. I'm just still pretty exhausted, I definitely need a couple days rest. I think my boss was bummed that I left early, but sorry, dude, I've already been there 8 hours, and at least that's an hour he doesn't have to pay me for. And I did put in six extra hours on Saturday so he kinda owes me. I absolutely love my job when there are people there, the busier the better, but it's somehow more draining when it's dead. I've been feeling drained in general since communication with Wolfie has been limited. I think we unintentionally feed on each other's energy, I'm a lot more energized when he's around more. Getting a couple messages a day is a complete switch from previously talking all day, most days before. I'm just... not quite all here when he's not fully around.
I know, I'm whining. Back to hunting Lolita dresses💗
16:25 Mar 22 2022
Times Read: 1,017
04:20 Mar 22 2022
Times Read: 1,058
02:39 Mar 22 2022
Times Read: 1,075
18:22 Mar 21 2022
Times Read: 1,105
So the little motorbike I'm getting is actually my cousin's. She's coming up this weekend, and they're bringing it then. It's a newer model, originally cost a couple thousand dollars, and she's barely used it, bit she told me she'd take $500 for it. The only issue I have with it is that it's lime fuckin green... My boss said he would paint it pink for me though :3 He said after that the next thing I should get is a sidearm xD Yeah, maybe. My job is literally two blocks away from my house so honestly I don't even need transportation, but it's something nice for myself, and like I said I reached my $10,000 goal so may as well blow it. Since I'm making pretty decent money now I'll have it back by next week anyway. I'm feeling better this week, last week I was seriously dragging ass, I just felt off. I think it helps knowing I'll have three days off after tomorrow xD I really wanted to play my game over the weekend, but had zero time, and last week I just didn't feel like it at all. See, that's how you know something's seriously wrong with me, when I have no desire to shop or play video games. Maybe it's everything with Wolfie, I do miss him a lot, his communication has been so sporadic ever since the whole Ukraine invasion started. I don't really have a solid idea on what he's going through because we usually only exchange a couple messages, enough for him to tell me he loves me and he's ok. And I'm glad, that's better than not knowing, but it's also like, you could've left, that was an option. But maybe it wasn't. I don't fucking know xD
The nice old lady who works at the newspaper next door just gave me chocolate :3 And my boss bought me a really yummy cherry soda. Wolfie always gets super jealous when my boss gives me things, it's cute. Like, no offense, but my boss is absolutely not my type. He's pretty awesome, and he's not unattractive or anything, but I'm not personally attracted to him.
And he's like, super vanilla xD I had to explain to him what being vanilla even is, he's that vanilla. And I've had more than enough vanilla guys in my life. Not that I'd necessarily need a guy to be a Dom to be interested in him because a: There are way too many fake fuckin doms out there and b: You shouldn't limit yourself like that. Yeah, I kinda have a type, but my type is nerdy guys, honestly xD If you can competently have a conversation with me about Dark Souls, you might just be in💗
And that's really not even a type, it's a preference, I like guys who are interested in the same things I am. Even though Wolfie, and I are pretty extreme opposites, we enjoy many of the same things so it works.
Work is so boring today, typical Monday.
14:39 Mar 21 2022
Times Read: 1,120
01:26 Mar 21 2022
Times Read: 1,159
I'm so exhausted... I think I'll crawl into bed until work tomorrow, 17 hours should be enough rest xD My boss needs to realize that as much as I do love my job, I still have a very serious health condition, and my body needs proper amounts of downtime. He was talking about having me come in on one of my off days next week... so he could go fishing with my father. Umm, no, I'm not taking up your motherfucking slack so you can run off, and stuck me with my useless coworker. I'd come in for a couple hours max. I'm just too tired to do more than what's necessary right now. I think that's why I'm so unphased by what's going on with Wolfie, I'm just too exhausted to to have any emotions about it. Obviously I'm worried about him, but like I said, he's a grown man, he's gonna do what he's gonna do. That's the other thing, I'm so used to his unstable behavior it's just like, yeah, so what else new? There's drama with my boyfriend? Omg, no way. And then in a week I'll be like, omg, I love him so much xD Yes, I know myself very well. That's why I tell people, don't even try to intervene, just listen to me bitch, tell me it's going to be ok, and move along the conversation. Because if you try to talk bad about him, it'll get shut down. Only I'm allowed to complain about him xD Because he's not a bad guy. It would be easier if he was just some scumbag, if he were out lying and cheating. But he's got so many issues, especially with being touched physically. And then there are the massive intimacy issues. And then there's the eternal brooding. I think the most he could possibly do with another woman is tie her up, and beat the shit outta her, but beyond that... So when people ask me how I don't drive myself crazy worrying about him with other women, yeahhhh, I just don't see it happening. It takes so long to get through all his layers, it's not something you do overnight. And I do believe with my whole heart that he genuinely loves me, I know he does, but things are always complicated, he's always doing, and he just doesn't know how to stop. And then he'll ask me why he's so unhappy, just stop. His depression can't be helped, but he's always trying to be 20 steps ahead of everything for the future, he never just enjoys the present with me, he never stops to breathe. Just stop, and be with me. But he won't. He's so worried that he's going to end up in a bad situation that he won't be able to control, he can't handle not being in control. I get that, especially considering all the abuse he endured as a kid. I just want him to be happy, and it feels like we never get any closer to that, even after all the bullshit it's like there's always something else. And I'm very frustrated, and that's obvious. But I'm also fucking exhausted. But that's a good thing, my job is keeping me very preoccupied. And giving me a lot of money for stress shopping xD
04:15 Mar 19 2022
Times Read: 1,239
02:50 Mar 19 2022
Times Read: 1,254
Kawaii potato astronaut sitting on the moon...
And it's a night light😍
21:50 Mar 18 2022
Times Read: 1,273
I love that this is my job💗
Hey, everything looks better with kawaii face :3
04:51 Mar 18 2022
Times Read: 1,311
I loved the concept of Rennala.
But... She was another fairly easy fight for being one of the big bosses. It took me two tries to beat her because on my first try a chandelier dropped on my head in the first phase, and instakilled me xD When she went into her second phase I fully expected her to kick my ass. But it didn't happen. So disappointing. But most Souls bosses aren't really difficult. Like the Four Kings, they are notorious for most players finding them insanely difficult, but they're not especially if you know how to get Beatrice summoned in for that fight. Assuming you're not already playing online because I never play online, I dunno why. If you're running solo then all you need to do is summon B in for the Moonlight Butterfly, and only then will she be available to summon on 4K. Of course, most people don't know that on their first run so they end up having to fight them alone the first time, and it is a little frustrating, but certainly not impossible.
Rennala did give me some Bloodborne vibes though. There are actually a few areas that immediately reminded me of Bloodborne, this one being the most obvious.
A BEAST CLERGYMAN.
Doesn't really get more on the nose than a beastial religious leader as far as Bloodborne is concerned. And a boss fight transporting you to a flat, watery area, that's straight out of Bloodborne. And in it Rom also summons little minions to attack you, much like Rennala. So it's nice seeing some of these things reused, but it also seems a bit lazy, like, we've already seen this... Elden Ring also has many, many things I haven't seen in a Souls game though.
I do like that there are so many different sorta arcane factions around the world. Instead of Pyromancy it's Incantations. Unfortunately, you actually need to invest into Faith or Arcane or both to use them unlike in Dark Souls where Pyromancy didn't scale based on your attributes so it's kinda useless to me as I'm obviously putting everything into Dex, but maybe later I'll play with it because I do love my fire spells. But I love my scythe more so...
04:15 Mar 18 2022
Times Read: 1,322
19:29 Mar 17 2022
Times Read: 1,359
I kinda want to take like $500, and buy a ton of these xD
They're so cute, and I don't really collect anything.
I actually bought one of these years ago from Hot Topic, a little pink bunny one. I have it sitting on my makeup table, and it could use some friends💗
And the werewolf one is named Wolfie so...
15:26 Mar 17 2022
Times Read: 1,374
02:42 Mar 17 2022
Times Read: 1,423
I love this coat so much. It's so fuckin huge.
I really can never decide if I love having my hair blonde or pink more.
Blonde is classic, and I wear it very well. But it's kinda boring all year around. That's why I usually go pink around Spring and Autumn.
My cat loves the new sheets xD
Usually he prefers a fluffy blanket, but he was breaking them in all day.
My day off was pretty uneventful. I was completely sure that I would spend all day playing Elden Ring... There's just something about it that's off-putting. You know I love my Souls games so... I think I'm legitimately just too stressed to play it. My anxiety is too high lately. I mean, things are fine, Wolfie seems ok, and he's really my biggest worry, but I'm just feeling off. My frustration with him is still weighing on me a bit. I had this talk with him not long ago, about how when I'm upset with him I tend to keep it to myself because if I tell him then he'll get upset, and then I have to deal with myself AND him being upset xD It probably sounds super dysfunctional, but it's a lot easier on me this way to just suck it up, and deal with how I feel on my own. I bounce back a lot faster from negative feelings so I don't like putting that on him anyway.
And I'm not necessarily upset with him, just very frustrated which he already knows. I feel like... he doesn't always make the best choices. His intentions are good, but it's like he doesn't see things through, suddenly he switches gears, and dives into something else which then is like... Ok, so how long is this one going to take?
And then eventually he'll tell me he wishes he had done things differently, if I think he made a mistake, and it's like, well, I tried to tell you...
It's the same thing with work though, I love my job, but this week has been a chore. Like I even accidentally left a bunch of stuff on the back freezer, and nothing got spoiled, and my boss didn't make a big deal about it, but it feels bad to have messed up. It's just an off week, I suppose. I'm just feeling a bit drained.
But at least I look fabulous🐇💗
01:21 Mar 17 2022
Times Read: 1,429
06:58 Mar 16 2022
Times Read: 1,477
Clearly I have a weakness for pink, Bunny things🐇💗
They were having a "Fuck off, Winter" sale so outerwear was pretty cheap. I mean, a bubblegum pink teddy coat? I can see why it's named that because I immediately felt like a big Care Bear when I put it on xD
03:05 Mar 15 2022
Times Read: 1,520
Today just drug on forever... Work wasn't busy at all, and a 4 hour dead shift is much more tolerable than an 8 hour dead shift. I almost went home an hour early, but then one customer walked in so I decided just to stick around the last hour in case. Pretty unnecessary, but hey, it's basically free money. I hope tomorrow will be better, I have to make Saint Patrick's Day cookies so that'll eat a couple hours. My boss keeps telling me that I look sad xD I dunno, probably just my stress showing. There's this woman who comes in every week, and she completely reeks of patchouli... Like, gagging on it, it's so thick around her. My boss was telling me that she asked for an application, and maybe it's unethical, but I will quit on the spot if they hire her. Like, sorry, but no. You have to know how terrible you smell, people who aren't self-aware of their own scent should be cast out of polite society. My boss says it's because she doesn't bathe, she just coats herself in essential oil... And then my boss's mom, she was telling me a couple weeks ago how amazing I smell all the time, and asked what my perfumes were, and then she comes in, and tells me she bought a perfume by Kim Kardishian to compete with me xD I'm glad she's blind because the face I made when she told me that... I mean, she's an older woman so it's probably not appropriate for her to wear Gucci Guilty or Victoria's Secret, but there's definitely better out there, maybe something from Chanel or Valentino, something classy, not that candy coated hooker garbage. I know she was just joking, but I never understood why women all my life have felt like they need to compete with me. I'm 100% not interested in anything you got, least of all and especially not your man.
The good thing about my job though is I only work 3 days a week, and now I'm making twice as much as I was over the Winter. So I work tomorrow then have Wednesday/Thursday off, and work Friday. Personally, I'd rather work 4 hours a day 6 days a week, but my coworker whined about wanting more days off so here we are. I think she only complained because my boss wanted me to work all nights, when we're busiest, instead of her, so she would've had to be in early every day, and she didn't like that. And now my boss is talking about buying the pizza place down the street, and merging the two of us together. He says I'll still be in charge of the candy, and ice cream half, but then we'll have pizza too so that sounds pretty bitchin. They haven't decided 100% on whether they're going to go through with it, but he said the current owner who's selling the placed opened up his books, and he makes more in one day than we make in a whole week so it seems pretty solid. They're good people, I really want them to succeed. And I'm not really sure if Wolfie will ever be back so it's nice to have a place. I'm optimistic, but realistically, I never have any fucking clue what he's going to do next. Granted, I really didn't expect him to be back by now even before the whole Russian invasion thing popped up, but still. The fact that he's so focused on his investments right now, when we first met money was everything to him, his whole focus in life was having as much of it as possible. And yeah, money is great, security is great, stability is great, but it's not everything. I guess I thought we were past that, but apparently not. I guess I can't really understand though. My childhood wasn't perfectly normal, but I was in one spot for most of it, I was never abused, my parents fought, but never divorced. I can't imagine the trauma that he lived through, and obviously it has clear lingering effects. So I tend to cut him a lot of slack, I try to be more understanding of the things he needs in life, stability being at the top. But I get frustrated. Work took priority for a long time, work and college. Now it's this investment bullshit. And next it'll be something else. But that's what a life with him is, it's what I accept. I don't doubt his love for me, I don't doubt that he truly believes he's doing what's best for us. Whether it's actually what's best for us, I guess we'll see.
03:23 Mar 14 2022
Times Read: 1,594
You can really see the scars on my face here before concealer.
The big one in the middle of my forehead, and three dots below it that could form a triangle...
I love this color in my hair. It just makes me want everything pink.
And the lipstick is Fire Bird by Urban Decay. The eyeshadow, Ring of Fire.
I'm a bit... annoyed at my boyfriend right now. So I think I need some new shoes and makeup xD See, this is what I don't like about people with money, it becomes their main priority, they're desperate to keep it to the point where other things are less important. Money is nice, I'm obviously very good at spending it, but I also know how to survive without it, how to be happy even if my ass is broke. I appreciate that Wolfie plans ahead a billion years into the future, but if shit really goes down then money ain't gonna help us, and I'd rather we were together for that rather than forever planning for a future that never seems to get here. I'm a little frustrated.
I had dreams last night about Wolfie, my ex, and my boss. All separate dreams, let's not get weird here xD The one about Wolfie... He had come back from Russia, but he looked completely different. Like, he was a foot shorter than when he left xD He was basically a completely different dude physically, but it was somehow him. I mean, I'd still love him if he was 5'3, and balding, and middle-aged, but... I also kinda prefer him the way he is now so...
22:07 Mar 13 2022
Times Read: 1,621
For a split second I really wanted both of these...
Until I realized how bad they look next to each other xD
Honestly, I don't understand the people who cover their beds in decorative pillows. You have to take them all off to lay down, and who's going to be in your bedroom to see them anyway? This is why Wolfie always offers to make the bed xD Because otherwise... It won't get made, and he knows it. Oh no, what if someone walks in, and sees our rumpled sheets... Because they'd definitely be looking at that, and not all the sex equipment😐
16:00 Mar 12 2022
Times Read: 1,656
She called the wolf her Other Half.
19:07 Mar 11 2022
Times Read: 1,704
Today I want hot pink things...
22:48 Mar 10 2022
Times Read: 1,752
Remember a certain pair of bearded crystal sages who were twins in Dark Souls 3?
No, but seriously, stop saying Elden Ring isn't Dark Souls 4. Because it literally is. And it's not even discreet about it.
Either that or they really had absolutely no new ideas, and were just like, "Hey guys, let's take all this Dark Souls 3 stuff, and put it directly into a new game that's totally unrelated."
Oh, but they don't have big hats so... Yeah, I don't see any similarities, totally different things.
Obviously if you've never played a DS game then this will all look brand new to you. But... I'm seeing A LOT of parallels which make me wonder why they didn't just call it Dark Souls 4. But... maybe people are more inclined to play a new game without having to play the first 3? That makes sense. It's just annoyingly obvious, and it's making me seriously question these developers like... You're sure these games aren't related? You're really, really sure?
It also really pisses me off that people are whining that there's no difficulty options. Hey... if it's too hard for you, go back to your baby rpgs, bitches❤ It's too hard? Don't fucking play it. Pretty simple. And it's really not hard, you just have to find the right path playing a class you're comfortable with using a weapon you're comfortable with. If I try to play a mage or a warrio, despite those generally being easier classes to play they're actually harder for me because it's not what I'm comfortable with. Being a light, fast, scythe wielding rogue is exactly right for me which is interesting because a greatscythe isn't typically a rogue weapon, but it scales well in Dex, and it's actually pretty fast so it works. Once you find your perfect build these games become 100x easier.
20:08 Mar 10 2022
Times Read: 1,783
My cat has been so clingy the last few weeks. He's always loving, he greets me when I get home, he snuggles me when I sit down, but then after 15-20 minutes he'll lay down somewhere close by, and fall asleep. Whenever I'm in emotional or physical distress though he becomes extra attentive, draping himself across my lap as soon as I sit down to play my game, and staying there for hours. Which is a little bit inconvenient when I'm holding a controller xD And then he mews at me like, "Ok, calm down," when I'm yelling at the screen. I did rage quit on a boss last week, I kept getting her down within one hit, and she killed me every time. Eventually, after getting a few upgrades on my scythe, I beat her, but it's hard to play a Souls game when I already have anxiety in my life, it just adds to it. It's a massive relief every time I hear from Wolfie, and I get to know he's ok. He said to me last night something about "Happy March 8th," and it just seemed so silly with everything that's going on. Everything seems so trivial in the face of what's going on there. I don't pry from him too much about how things are there in case he is being watched. And... I don't want him to know how worried I am. How scared I am. I saw it last night in a dream, a huge explosion. And in my final moments all I could think about was him. I always told him that no matter what happens, where we end up, I'll be waiting for him there. He said he'd be in touch soon so I'm hoping that means he's left the country or is getting out soon, I'm so worried they're going to completely close their borders, but I don't know if he'd leave without his family there. Communication has been so limited between us for the last couple weeks it's just basically been him letting me know he loves me, he's ok, and he'll be in touch when he can. It's incredibly hard to go from talking to him every day, sometimes all day, to that. But it forces us to keep ourselves stable on our own. I know that we probably rely on each other too much for emotional stability, we're both a bit fucked up so we lean into each other a lot, keep each other going, but it's good to stand on our own too. He's ok, I'm ok, we're just going to keep going, and figure things out. I need to be strong, and take care of myself until he gets back. Wolfie is smart, he didn't keep his money in Russia, he knew it was too unstable, but they wouldn't let him leave without his shot so I'm really, really hoping he got it by now. He was approved for residency in Slovenia, he has all the approved documentation so even if he can't get back here then hopefully he can at least get there.
And my cat knows that I'm dealing with all this so he's giving me extra love and comfort, that's what I believe anyway. That, and I have a lot of chocolate... I swear I'm going be like 500 lbs heavier than when he left by the time he gets back xD It's a good thing I'm on my feet at work 4-8 hours a time, I definitely get my exercise. I'm off today so I'm just kinda laying around. My brain is telling me to get up, and go jogging, but my body is like... no😐
05:08 Mar 10 2022
Times Read: 1,815
I am a firm believer that you always end up exactly where you're meant to be.
Even if you make mistakes, choose the wrong things, take the wrong path... Even if it takes years to realize it. There's always time to make things right.
You'll get there eventually.
01:18 Mar 10 2022
Times Read: 1,846
What a long fucking... month xD Yeah, this month sucks. Work has been running me ragged. Honestly, they rely on me too much. It's like beyond me they have no backup plan. I'm happy to have the hours which means my next paycheck is going to be amazing, but I'm also exhausted, and haven't properly played my game in almost a week. I so did not want to go into work today especially since I had to be there two hours early, and I had to spend all day listening to my coworker complaining. She'll say she doesn't want to be there, but then whine that she's not getting any hours then say if they didn't need her help so much she could just retire. Like... they really don't need her because they have me, she doesn't realize they only keep her around because she's a family friend, and they don't want to hurt her feelings. My boss is always talking about letting her go, she doesn't even know. I'm not going to burst her bubble because I do like her as a person, I just think she's super full of herself for no reason.
And then there's Wolfie. I'm insanely worried. It doesn't help when people feel the need to tell me everything they've heard on the situation. Yeah, I get it very up front and personal, it's real fucking bad. My coworker telling me, "So what if your boyfriend is never allowed to leave Russia again? Do you think they're monitoring him? They're giving people there 15 years in prison just for protesting." Gee, that makes me feel lots better, thank you so much😐 That would be our fucking luck, right? First a pandemic keeps us apart for way longer than we should have been, and now a goddamn war is going to make sure he can't come back. Yep, this world is desperately trying to keep us apart.
And the worst part is that all my chocolate covered gummie bears are GONE😭
03:38 Mar 09 2022
Times Read: 1,905
Next on Bunny's wishlist...
20:58 Mar 08 2022
Times Read: 1,930
14:10 Mar 08 2022
Times Read: 1,963
It's toast :3
00:08 Mar 07 2022
Times Read: 2,012
I can't resist bunny things💗
07:49 Mar 06 2022
Times Read: 2,049
The color is Valentine by Unicorn Hair❤
You know I'm going through some serious shit when my hair dramatically changes xD
Well, I usually dye it a couple times a year anyway. And Wolfie won't be back for awhile longer now... Not that he demands me to be blonde or anything, he loves me in red just as much, maybe even more, blonde is just my personal favorite, but I like to change it up. I usually do pink because pink fades much easier than red, but it'll be fine, that's why I used a lighter red.
I can still fainty see the mark on the middle of my forehead. It's just a little scar now. I don't mind it. Hard to believe so recently my face, especially my eye, was completely messed up, and now it's basically back to normal. And since I'm playing with makeup again I'm trying out all my Urban Decay lipsticks. This one is Safeword, possibly my favorite❤
08:01 Mar 05 2022
Times Read: 2,088
Red Riding Hood, bats, Gothic unicorns and blood❤🖤😍
02:45 Mar 04 2022
Times Read: 2,133
Oh yeah, another fun filled day at work tomorrow🖤
My five days off has turned into two. And it would be down to one, but I already took Saturday off so they're on their own there. But my next paycheck is going to be crazy good. My boss is having me go in early tomorrow because he's been teaching me how to close, and now he's going to show me how to open. Basically, he's teaching me all the responsibility stuff that he planned to teach my coworker til everyone realized I'm much better. We've been slammed all week, probably because it's finally warm out, and my boss told me he's actually glad my coworker tapped out for the week making me work instead because... Ya know, I actually work. And I love when it's busy, it really makes the time fly. That helps with how worried I am about Wolfie. He told me this morning that he's really not ok, and no one can expect him to be given the situation. I'm torn between trying to talk to him or just completely give him space. I've been giving him space because I know how he gets when he's in a really bad mental space, and if he needs me he knows I'm here, I don't need to force it.
And here is the most polite, civilized person I've found in Elden Ring.
A fucking giant Blacksmith just casually reading a book xD I love it. And did you know that you can completely, without even realizing it, skip the tutorial? Ya know, I thought it was a bit strange that there was no tutorial area in the beginning, turns out there is, I just ran right past it. Obviously, I don't need to be told how to play a Souls game, I'm pretty well aware of the mechanics although the jumping is really interesting, it really opens up the exploration. I did finally go back, and kill horse guy, and his evil twin the Night's Cavalry who I loved the design of, the shrouded horse was pretty awesome. I'm just kinda running around, clearing up the easier areas, leveling up as much as I can. I made it up to. Radahn... Who killed me with a single arrow xD So not quite ready to tackle any big bosses yet. The game actually tells you after you beat Godrick, "Oh, was that easy? Good, cause that guy was barely a boss, get ready for the real fuckening." The game did not lie...
17:51 Mar 03 2022
Times Read: 2,162
02:54 Mar 03 2022
Times Read: 2,193
Annnnd now I'm working tomorrow too xD
Yep. Saw that coming. Probably Friday too. My boss actually wrote on my check folder, "#1 Employee" He's not wrong, I'm pretty great. And the owner was talking to me, she offered me 40 hours a week if I want it. That's like... a real job, no part-time shit anymore. Then I'd be working every day... Who could possibly work every day, that's inhumane xD She was also talking to me about hiring someone new, she said what they really need is another me. I'm sorry, the world can only handle so much perfection, there can only be one :3 Like Wolfie says, "One Bunny to rule them all."❤
I feel like such a responsible, functional adult suddenly. I feel bad for my coworker, but they're really getting tired of her laziness. The owner told me she's trying to cut her some slack because she's older, and she's had a lot of personal issues lately. Um, hello, my boyfriend is stuck in fucking Russia, let's not compare issues right now. I would gladly allow all my teeth to be ripped out if it meant he was safe here beside me, I'd be happy to trade. And working really takes my mind off of things, it keeps me busy because when I'm not busy I start to think about never seeing him again, about the possibility of him not being ok, and I can't handle that. And everyone at work knows what's going on, they see me on video with him when he occasionally catches me at work, so they know I'm going through some stuff too, and I don't use anything as an excuse. Toughen the fuck up.
But I made really great sales this week, I sold $600 worth of stuff to one person, she helped me clear out several things, a few dresses I've been trying to get rid of for awhile. Hopefully she'll he a return customer, but I really need to do some restocking. The owner of the shop was telling me she's also like a shopaholic, she's got rooms full of purses, and jewelry, and she asked if I'd help her sell some it for commission. I mean, my clientele are really Gothic aesthetic based, but there's nothing wrong with expanding into other things, it just depends on what she's got. I've been meaning to go over to the boss's house anyway because they have a bunch of horses, he said it would be fun if him, his wife, his kids, me, and my coworker all went like trail riding. I'm totally down for that, I love to ride, and I don't get to do it nearly enough.
So things aren't all bad. I mean, there's almost always drama with Wolfie so that's nothing new, he's always off getting himself into terrible situations. Couldn't have just come straight here, oh nooo, it can never just be what would make me happy xD Well. Like I've said, he's always thinking long-term into our future, and it's like... He's never in the present with me because he's always planning ten steps ahead. That's just the person he is. I can't be upset with who he is, I did fall madly in love with him. I dunno, we'll see how things end up, I suppose.
17:53 Mar 02 2022
Times Read: 2,225
06:40 Mar 02 2022
Times Read: 2,262
When I walked into work on Monday the boss says to me, "It's about time you put some makeup on, I was getting tired of looking at your raggedy ass."
I love my job❤
It's good to be back to normal. Well, mostly. I have this scar right in the middle of my forehead now. That's where all the problems with my face started, that little mark. The mark of the freakin beast. I swear... This year, while going by pretty quickly, already majorly sucks ass.
I need to decompress, and watch some cute bunny videos.
I know Wolfie will be ok. He's in Moscow, but I'm more worried about his emotional well-being more than anything. His faith in humanity is already like -36, he can't handle this. He's already gone through so much in his life, it's just like... when does it stop? He's always telling me he's cursed. I have to admit, this is not helping xD
02:35 Mar 02 2022
Times Read: 2,289
I want to live in, be buried in, and haunt for all eternity this dress, it is stunning...
It's like, perfect Spring goddess vibes. I really need a flowery moon circlet. I keep meaning to find a nice one.
There's also this little beauty.
And the shoes I got for 50% off.
Anytime I lay something down for pictures, my cat always lays next to it xD It's funny because he hates when I try to take selfies with him.
He struggles, turns his face away, tries to bite me. He just likes having all the spotlight, he's such a diva, he really is my cat, little attention whore xD
So I was going to have five days off work... But then they asked me to work tomorrow. And probably Thursday. My coworker very foolishly thought it would be easy getting all her teeth pulled out at once, she thought she'd come back to work a couple days later like it was nothing. I knew I'd be working for her. Which is fine because tomorrow is pay day, and extra shifts means extra money next check which means more cute shoes and dresses. My anxiety is at like 10,000 so I'm letting myself get whatever I want, fuck it. I'm trying to just avoid the news because Wolfie already says shit is bad, and getting worse, and I just can't, he's going to be stuck in yet another country, I fucking can't. Of course it had to be Russia, it couldn't have been literally anywhere else, it had to be where he's at because the Universe may have my back, but this ass backwards planet is completely against me. Yes, I'm being dramatic, but for real... I'm just gonna play my game. Things will be fine. Everything will be fine. Things always work out, you always end up where you were meant to be, everything happens for a reason, I'm not at all in denial, everything is fine xD
I've reached the northern bit of the map to this area if Cliffside ruins. Actually, I went back towards the East, and ran into a really big dragon, like a proper dragon, surrounded by lots of still big and intimidating, but smaller dragons.
Pretty freaking awesome. But in the ruins toward the north you come across this beautiful singing... And it really reminded me of the noble woman in the Tower of Latria from Demon's Souls. Except... this singing is coming from a really ugly, old bat man. Still, I love little things like that. Like coming across enemies or npcs who are singing or playing music. It's nice. It's very peaceful among all the blood and killing❤
05:45 Mar 01 2022
Times Read: 2,093
I was a bit disappointed with the Godrick fight. He's like, a main main boss, and I beat him in one go. Like the game from the very beginning tells you very clearly to go to Stormveil, beat Godrick, get his rune, blahblahblah I thought for sure after I beat him in about 30 seconds that he'd have a second phase.
I told ya. Once I had my scythe I would be unstoppable xD
I feel like I always do better against main bosses. I can beat Manus, the Four Kings, Ornstein and Smough, all in one try. But then I'll have trouble with seemingly more insignificant bosses. Like the Dancer of the Boreal Valley 😐 She kicks my ass so hard. Or the Capra Demon, he's not necessarily hard on his own, but the dogs in that fight make it unbearable. In Bloodborne, I could not get past Amelia the first playthrough, and she's really not difficult, but when she jumps away, and almost fully heals, yeah, that sucks. Ohhhh, the Ruin Sentinals in DS2, hated them, one of my least favorite boss fights in the series. All of these pretty insignificant encounters, but main bosses I can do easy.
Meanwhile, horse boy still lives xD One of these days...
This is also one of the most awesome things I've come across in the game.
A walking building. That definitely tries to squish you in if you mindlessly wander underneath it xD But it's slow. And then you have to jump onto it from a cliff. There are so many awesome little things around the world. This game makes me so happy💗
02:42 Mar 01 2022
Times Read: 1,749
So scythe definitely gave me an advantage over Margit. For an early accessible boss, he's a little tough the first try. My wolves also helped me a lot, I love having a mini wolfpack to help me around the world, I haven't even bothered to summon anything else, I'm good with my wolfies. I also met the wolf knight, FS loves their wolf knights. So, so far I've beaten Margit, Leonine, and the Ancestral Guardian as far as major bosses, several mini bosses. I keep meaning to go back, and show that asshole on horseback that you meet at the beginning of the game my scythe up close and personal. But there's so much to do I just constantly get sidetracked. I also wanna go back, and tackle that dragon without screaming, and running away xD I realized I'm only working two days this week because I took Saturday to go on a trip with one of my sister's so I'll have a lot of time to play. I got to make mini king cakes at work today ^^ Instead of babies we used tootsie rolls, and I got to pick the lucky one so we'll see who gets it. And then pretty soon I get to make, and decorate shamrock cookies. I really love my job, especially when people tell me how beautiful the things I make are, and take pictures to share❤
I'm really fucking tired of hearing about Russia though. And the more I hear, the more worried for Wolfie I get, especially since he's being so minimally responsive. Like, are you being monitored, what the fuck is happening? And even though he was born there, and is technically a citizen there, he's still kind of an outsider because he spent a good chunk of his life here, he's also a US citizen so I'd really fucking appreciate it if all this drama could stop. I'm actually genuinely scared for him. I'm trying not to be, but I just wish he hadn't gone back, there was no need for him to go back right now, it could have waited. I'm just really stressed... Wolfie is my comfort, and support, and when things aren't right with him it slowly makes me very unstable.