Honor: 11 [ Give / Take ]
35 entries this month
05:39 Oct 29 2021
Times Read: 316
When people ask you to drop $80 off the asking price, and oh, hold it for them for ten days...
I actually had two really good holds come through a week ago, both for over $100, and one I had held for two weeks. So it's not so much the holding as it is the asking for almost $100 off on top of the holding. Usually when people ask you to hold something for them they will then never come back for it so it sits there idly while it could possibly have been sold to someone else. And maybe that someone else will pay full or closer to asking price while this person is just being unreasonable. Asking for more than, I dunno, 25% off one thing is just fuckin rude.
Wolfie is meeting with some "business associates" tomorrow. He said he's trying to put something together for me so I can keep running my business when I'm over there. I am a bit worried about having to ship things from Russia... I've bought a lot of stuff from Europe, but haven't experienced Russian shipping. So I dunno how much it's going to cost to do business there, and how easily stuff will sell from there. Most people in the US don't exactly like international shipping. I've never really had any issue with it, and I've bought things from nearly everywhere. I guess because of the cost, and the time it takes to get there. But, on the bright side, I'll have a chance to make all new clientele around Europe, maybe even Asia. I'm sure I'll figure it out though I am curious what Wolfie is working on. He doesn't want to tell me until he's sure things will fall into place. I absolutely adore him, you know. Like, really adore him. He's trying so hard to get things ready for me so I'll be happy when I'm there. He knows I like making my own money. He says that his money is my money, and he'll make sure I get whatever I want. But you know, I enjoy doing things for myself too, and he knows that which is why he's working on this for me. Which is still him doing it for me xD But I can't figure this kind of thing out myself in a foreign country. I hope he's not going to too much trouble though. I like my business, but it's not something I need if I have to leave it behind. He just wants me to be happy, and I guess I am giving up a lot by moving, but I'm really excited to go somewhere new, and fully be comfortably at home with the man I love. That's worth anything. His comfort, and happiness means most to me. He doesn't want to be in the US anymore, and I'm not going to ask him to stay in a place he doesn't want to be. Although I have a feeling we won't be in Russia forever. I think he'll still move us to Europe at some point, it's just not convenient right now, it's much easier to just get married, and move back to his homecountry. He says he'll send me back here to visit whenever I like, maybe every Spring I'll return to my mother, just like Persephone xD
My boss have me my hoodie today though. He bought one for me, and the other girl who works there. He did not buy one for the dumbass. He paid for them himself, didn't even take it out of our paychecks, he's so awesome. He's always telling me I'm not allowed to leave. It was funny, he bought me a caramel apple cream soda the other day, disgusting btw, and I showed it to Wolfie because we were talking while I was at work, and he says to me, "He's buying you things? Do I need to handle him?" And I just completely cracked up laughing because my boss is just a nice guy, an extremely nice guy, he's never once flirted with me or shown any interest in me like that. I'm not stupid, I'm very keenly aware when guys feel that way about me, and I 100% do not get that vibe from him. I get a very big brother kinda vibe, there's never been any sorta awkward sexual stuff. And he bought me a disgusting soda because he bought himself one, and he wanted to make me suffer with him. Because that's also the kinda guy he is. Wolfie says my "yandereness" has rubbed off on him, he's becoming increasingly overprotective of me. I never really had a guy be protective of me before him so it's pretty adorable. But then he also tells me how I domesticated him xD That's right, might as well make it official, my fluffy, adorable dire wolfie :3
Ok, I know I'm technically the collared one here, but you know what I mean.
I actually had a dream about a snow white wolf last night. I was in the forest, I saw it, and I thought, "Omg, I have to get a picture of this to show to Wolfie." So I got closer. And it started chasing me.
And that's exactly what would happen which is why Wolfie doesn't trust me alone in the wilderness xD
And then I had a dream that a bunch of planes were crashing out of the sky. I have a lot of dreams about terrible things coming from the sky. Nothing ominous there, I'm sure.
17:24 Oct 28 2021
Times Read: 348
I found it for only $40 ^^
People have been reselling this for over $100. It originally sold for $45. Now I'm all about buying shit, and reselling it for more. That's... basically my business xD But then there are people who purposely buy all of things just to sell them for much more. I don't do that. I'll buy one of something, usually for myself, then when it sells out I'll resell it if I haven't used it. It's different. I don't block everyone else from buying it. Unfortunately, that happens a lot with a lot of different things, Lore Olympus being one of them. There's also a blanket I really want...
Sells out instantly every time they put it up.
I get it. LO is popular. But for fuck's sake. Over $100 for a mini backpack? Get fuckin real. And it's personal to me. Wolfie has always called me his Persephone, his little goddess, his little flower, his little queen, even before LO existed. Then he showed it to me, and we really resonate with it for multiple reasons so it pisses me off when people buy a $45 backpack, and resell it for $125. I still got mine for less than retail though so happy bunny ^^
20:04 Oct 27 2021
Times Read: 385
"Sometimes Mr. Esmond finds it very difficult to say no to me..."
16:58 Oct 27 2021
Times Read: 406
And after, naturally❤
I was never fond of tea before we met.
But with him...
With sweets, opera music, and gentle candlelight.
He's right, it's a tough call.
00:39 Oct 27 2021
Times Read: 452
Today we have featured: Bats.
This is sold as an actual dress, but... This looks like a nightie to me. I may even cut out the lining to make it more see-through because it looks, and feels more like lingerie than something I'd wear out.
But that's ok because I also got the sweater.
I love a huge, comfy sweater. And I've also discovered how much I love leggings. I haven't really worn pants in... 15 years xD I switched to skirts, and dresses, and occasionally shorts forever ago. But I actually love leggings now too after buying a few pairs from Killstar for work so I think I just hate jeans. I'm so uncomfortable in jeans, and I don't know why.
I also got this adorable moon bat cropped hoodie.
It's like the perfect staple piece for my wardrobe, it pairs so well with lots of my skirts especially.
And it looks really cute with this set.
I bought this set because I thought it would make an adorable kitty maid outfit. Wolfie loves when I play dress up for him. But I really like it on its own though too. They're doing witches night out in a couple days, and I was told I could dress up... But I think this might be a bit much xD Or rather... not enough. But I did also get a super cute new pair of kitty ears not long ago.
I prefer the clipons personally, headbands tend to slip off at inconvenient times. You may be wondering why I have a big smudge on my chest. Well, I learned a hard lesson about not writing dirty things on yourself... in permanent marker. Definitely use the washable xD I tried alcohol, and makeup remover. It's not really an issue since the only one who generally sees that low on my chest is Wolfie. My work shirts go up to my neck so I'm pretty covered.
Next is this gorgeous dress.
This is my favorite color red. One issue I have with Killstar's new red velvets is that the red is super fucking bright. I love my reds, but I prefer a slightly darker tone, especially when it matches my favorite heels.
Last, an actual lingerie set.
Now... I don't wear blue. That's common knowledge. I own almost nothing blue. I don't hate the color, I just don't wear it. But this is a really pretty set I just couldn't say no to it.
I spent $400 at Killstar last night. I gave myself a limit of $500 so coming in under is good for me xD That's usually my limit when they run a 30% sale. Of course, then I usually put in a second order of $2-300 so... We'll see what everyone else has to offer. I sold a lot over the weekend, and I get paid this week, and I'm picking up two extra shifts so I'm not worried about the money. Hopefully I'll sell a lot more before next week. Wolfie also got really good news this morning, he got his first passport, the internal one. That's another thing I love about him, he knows how to make people do what he wants, especially when he's angry xD So, like I said, the second passport should only take a couple weeks, but... I expect longer. Because he was supposed to be back here in June, but chose to go over there instead. And that was probably the right choice since he didn't want us to go back to Denver. Rather go over there, start the process of moving us over, all that, I'm not upset about it. But he was looking at tickets though so I'm hoping. I hope for the best, but mentally prepare for the worst.
03:50 Oct 26 2021
Times Read: 484
Someone messaged me earlier wanting to do $50 on two items I have listed separately for $35 each. I was feeling generous so I told her I'd do it. One of the items is a purse, and I'm really trying to thin out my purse collection, and I sold two other purses today, and Halloween sales have started so I was like, fuck it, deal. I make her the bundle, and she hits me with a $49 offer... And goes on to say say that the app won't let her offer $50, but it'll let her do $49.
Uh huh... Except, I already changed the price so she didn't need to make an offer, just pay.
So she's lying.
Over a dollar.
A single fucking dollar.
And sure, I could accept the $49 because it's only a dollar. But I really fucking hate people with no integrity. I would've done $49 if she had asked. That's not what we agreed on though. She offered $50, that was the deal. That was the agreement. Then she lied to me. Boy. Do I hate when people spit in the face of my generosity then lie to me.
Over. A. Dollar.
Shoulda just blocked her. But I was curious to see if she'd actually buy it. And hey, she did. After I reminded her that I already changed the price, and would not be going any lower she suddenly figured it out, and immediately bought it. Probably should have just blocked, and sold them separately because $75 is more than $50. But that's another purse out of my hair, and more money for Halloween sales. It's win/win even if the buyer was a bit unpleasant. I just don't like people that go back on their word. Do what you say, say what you mean. I also sold another dress while I was waiting for her to get sorted, and I'm picking up another extra shift on Thursday. Well... They took it away from dumbass who couldn't be bothered to show today, and gave it to me. When he called in sick my boss told him he shouldn't bother to show up Thursday night either then asked if I'd work it xD Hells yeah I will. They said instead of outright firing him they're just going to stop scheduling him to work. Not the way I'd handle it, I'd give him a very firm kick to the ass straight out the door. Yeah, he's only 17, this was his first job, but he needs to learn you can't act that way professionally. He's applied everywhere else around, and no one else will hire him so he really fucked up, but you can't take advantage of good people like that forever, eventually they're gonna get sick of your shit. I'm happy to take his hours, and his paycheck, later, loser❤
22:55 Oct 25 2021
Times Read: 507
We have this 17 year old kid who works in the shop. Absolutely worthless little shit. So I treat him like he's one of my nephews xD But he's still in school so anytime they have a day off, he calls in, and says he's sick, and can't work. Every. Single. Time. Like we don't know what he's doing. I've only been here three months, and I see what he's doing. And he only works two shifts a week anyway so it's like... really? And guess who those shifts fall on when he refuses to come in? That's right. Which I don't mind because I like the extra money, but if I'm going to be working half his shifts anyway they need to just fucking fire him. They've been talking about firing him since the day I started, but these people are so nice that no one wants to do it. I told them I'd do it, no mercy xD I'd love to take his hours, let me at 'im. On top of which, he's really shitty at his job, he spends 30 minutes at a time locked in the bathroom, talking on the phone. Now I did spend like 3 hours on the phone with Wolfie a couple weeks ago, but I kept working the entire time, and I didn't lag behind. Sure, he's still just some punk kid, but you're almost 18, time to grow up a little, bud.
But then again... If I'm going to be moving within hopefully the next several months, I guess they really shouldn't pile all those hours onto me. I've been very upfront with them about Wolfie, and my intentions to move because they really like me here, and they tell me I'm their best worker, but they're going to have to replace me eventually. Wolfie was so angry this morning... He said the guy who was handling his Russian passport paperwork told him everything would be done within a week, but then he went on vacation, and left all Wolfie's stuff in limbo so he went to their office, had a massive freakout on the replacement there, and now they're supposed to be giving it to him tomorrow morning. He was so mad xD It was kinda cute, but... I don't like that it's stressing him out so much. But with that in hand he'll still need his second passport. I guess in Russia you need two passports, but after he gets the first he'll still need to get the second one before he can come back here to me. They told him it should take less than two weeks for the second one, but with all the bullshit going around, and the holidays coming up, and the possibility of everything shutting down again, I wouldn't be surprised if it takes a couple months. It'd be nice to have him back for the holidays, I really don't want him to spend another Christmas alone, but we'll see. All of this stress is completely unhinging his emotional state. He's trying so hard. He's always trying hard, stuff just never seems to work out how he wants. He can't seem to settle anywhere. He had an extremely tumultuous childhood, and he's having trouble getting rooted. I'm hoping that being back in Russia will make him feel more at home. He's also working with his lawyer on how they're going to move me there. He told me that worst case scenario is we have to get married. Gee, thanks xD No, I mean, I get it, it's not ideal to be forced to get married, but also we already know how committed we are to each other so at that point it's just paperwork. I am curious if he'll ask me to sign a pre-nup though. I wouldn't be offended by it, given our situation. But I also have absolutely no interest in his money or possessions so. A few times, in extremely bad episodes of depression, he has asked me how much money it would take to make me go away. He offered me a million xD Most women would probably be super offended by that, but... It's Wolfie. His depression is like a separate entity, a dark monster in his head. It's him, but it's not him. You can't listen to the monster when he gets like that, you have to be stronger, and smarter than it. So when the monster says, "How much money will it take for you to disappear?" You have to take a deep breathe, and tell him calmly... Wolfie. I know you're hurt, and scared, and this thing that has taken over your brain is a defense against more pain. I know that the loving, gentle wolf I fell in love with is still in there, and when you're ready, I'll be here, I'm not going to run, I'm not going to abandon you. And he'll rage, he'll insult you, tell you how stupid, and weak you are, anything to drive you away. Because the truth is, that monster is more afraid of you than anything. That's my experience anyway, it really is a battle. But Wolfie is worth it. He may not always think he is, but that's why he's got me there to reassure him. That's why his money, and apartments, and houses, and all of it really has no interest to me. It's nice stuff, but it's not him, and he's all I really want. He knows I'd marry him tomorrow if he showed up, and asked me to. But watching how volatile his parents were... Yeah, I get it. I dunno, I kinda hate having to sit here while him, and his lawyer figure it out for me, but there's nothing I can do except provide them with my information. I really, really hope he'll be here before the end of the year, we both need it.
17:40 Oct 25 2021
Times Read: 534
Yes, yes, yes, yes, come to Bunny❤
05:17 Oct 25 2021
Times Read: 565
Wolfie said, and I directly quote, "Bunny, you deserve it. If it comes down to it I`ll make you an entire room just for clothes, like a huge closet room. If you want it, you'll get it."
Goddamn, I love that man.
I mean, I love him for multiple, many reasons. But the fact that he knows I need a big fucking closet... He just gets me xD Especially in a huge international city, I can't be seen in public in the same outfit more than once. Ok, I'm not actually that bad... But still.
I was telling him I was worried about taking my business over to Russia. I know there's a pretty decent Gothic population in Europe, so selling there won't be a big deal, but selling in Russia? He told me I don't have to work, that he can handle everything, but I'd like to keep selling clothes. He told if I really wanted I could get into doing makeup. It's funny because every time I go into Ulta, people always think I work there. Like, "Omg, I love your mascara, do you guys sell it here?" I'm sure they do, but no, I personally don't sell anything here xD
Having a pretty face helps sales. I don't mean for this to sound as mean, and bitchy as it's going to, but... Killstar. What the fuck is going on with your models?
Look. You don't have to be a 10, attractive, thin, curvy, tall, perfect to be a model. But these clothes do not fit them. They look extremely uncomfortable, and it makes me feel like I'm going to look that uncomfortable in them. Which is sad because you know I love my red, especially the velvet and lace, but these dresses look terrible on these models, they just don't fit them right. They're making the clothes look sad xD Nothing against them personally, I entirely blame the brand. I get it, they're real people, most people don't look like a fuckin model, but when you make people think they're going to look like one, that's what sells, that's marketing. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into Victoria's Secret, and bought $500 in underwear thinking it'd make me look like a fucking angel. Then again, I'll definitely end up with every one of these eventually. Killstar actually recast their models recently, if I lived in Europe I would've totally 100% tried out for it. I would do it for free, just let me keep the clothes xD Wolfie is always telling me he could set me up with some modeling gigs, but I'm really not interested in it unless it would be Gothic style clothing. Or lingerie, I could totally see myself being a lingerie model. He said he could set up a meeting with someone from Agent Provocateur when we're next in France, and that's like the $400 a thong place xD It cracks me up that anyone would pay that much for basically some string that goes... well, you know where it goes. They do have some pretty stuff though... See, that's how you know I have an addiction. I'll do anything you want, just let me keep the clothes❤
23:51 Oct 20 2021
Times Read: 608
This is my new favorite thing❤
So comfy and snuggly, perfect for Fall.
Wolfie said it's already very, very cold in Moscow... Which suits me just fine because I'm really not a fan of hot weather clothing. I prefer my velvets, and long sleeves. At this point, he's not really sure if he's going to bring me there or Europe. He's getting his Russian citizenship stuff renewed, but also still letting the residency paperwork in Slovenia work through to see if it actually gets approved. It could go either way, and I don't really have a preference, just pack me up, and carry me around like one of those fetish dolls xD Once his Russian stuff is done he should be able to come back here immediately unless they close everything down again. Then he's hoping to spend a few weeks here, probably go back to Denver for a week or so to get everything there. He hasn't sold the house there yet, he's keeping it as a last resort kinda thing. Until things are 100% certain that we can both comfortably move overseas. He's smart like that. I wouldn't mind seeing the house one more time for memory sake. He initially bought it for us like... 3 or so years ago, and I never fully got moved in there because he was working constantly, and going to school, and dealing with all of his emotional trauma. It's good to leave it though. His mother lives right down the street, and that bitch better pray she doesn't show her face to me. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly decides to move back to Russia too, and fucking follows us. Look. I know most people don't really get along with their in-laws. But she is a literal abusive monster piece of shit. I will not get along, I will not be polite, I will not be civil. Wolfie gets that which is why he keeps me far away from her xD He's also realized how much he enjoys not having her around, how much better off he is which I've told him along with numerous psychological experts. It's better this way. His emotional well-being is very fragile, he can't have people around who trigger him especially with me around because I am a fixer. If there's a problem, if something needs to be handled, I will goddamn handle it, I have no patience for people disturbing the emotional peace of the people I love. Unfortunately, his mother is a main disturber of the peace therefore she's gotta fuckin stay clear. I just want this distance to be done. I want to be where I can take care of him. I worry all the time. I know how hard everything has been for him, and he's trying so hard to get us in a better spot, just a little bit longer.
23:52 Oct 19 2021
Times Read: 641
Wolfie says no pink and fluffy in the bedroom...
So... that means that things can either be pink OR fluffy, just not both.
I'm simply too smart for you, Wolfie-sensei❤
I already bought the hat, sweater, and dress yesterday, but the bedset just dropped so I'm like... yeah, mine.
I also ordered this skirt set.
I thought it would make the perfect kitty maid outfit... Wolfie never gets onto me for buying lingerie xD
I mean. He doesn't really get onto me anyway, he'll tell me I need to be a more responsible bun, which is true. But when it's something to wear for him I never get the "responsible bun" speech xD
04:00 Oct 18 2021
Times Read: 679
Switch is for peasants xD
I love how I tell him to tell me not to do something, and he does, and then I'm like, whahhh, Wolfie's so mean😭
But really, I don't need it. I played enough Animal Crossing back in the day on the GameCube. Remember the GameCube? I feel like I first played Resident Evil 1, and Zero on the GameCube, but I might be wrong...
I can see the merits of getting a PC over consoles. I'm not anti-PC, as a teenager I played a shitton of Neverwinter Nights, American McGee's Alice, and Diablo 1 + 2 on PC. Although... I mostly remember beating Diablo then sitting in the chatrooms constantly, talking to all the weirdos that used to hang out there xD And I was like 15 at the time talking to these guys who were claiming to be in their 20s, but most were probably a lot older. I actually met a couple people IRL from those chatrooms. Couldn't tell you who the fuck any of them are now. When I was 18 I went to visit one in Minnesota, another nightmare I put my parents through because I was basically like, fuck it, I'm 18, gonna go see my friend, see ya. But I was on dialysis at that point so I could only go for a weekend. Shockingly, without ever videochatting with him, he actually turned out to be the guy he said he was, a tall, skinny, D&D super nerd around my age. Ya know, my type. My type is absolutely nerdy guys for obvious reasons. Anyway, I can't remember why we lost contact. He was going into the Army so that could be what happened. His name was James... But can't remember the last name. Th-something. Thole, Thuoele, maybe? Is that even a last name? I dunno xD I've never really tried to find him because why would I, can you imagine some randomass crazy girl hunting you down, and being like, "Yo, you remember Diablo 2 over 15 years ago?" xD
But yeah, it's crazy how many times I could've totally met up with some psychopath, and it just turned out to be a regular person. Guess I just got lucky. Now when my nieces, and nephews talk to me about talking to people online I'm like, nope, shutting that down right now, try to leave, and I will straight up follow you, auntie ain't having that.
I told Wolfie I don't really want to bring my consoles all the way there. He assures me I can bring whatever I want, but I think it's kinda nice getting rid of most of everything, and just starting over. The apartment in Russia is much bigger than the one he had for us in Slovenia so there's a lot more room for... things. I was not thrilled with having a bdsm room getting taken down to a bdsm drawer xD I don't necessarily need all the thrills, but they're nice to have...
He showed me the view of Moscow from the balcony yesterday, and I was just like, ugh... I should be there❤
01:34 Oct 17 2021
Times Read: 724
Wolfie says this is exactly why I'm a cat...
He's not wrong xD
Cat loaf here, freshly baked❤
03:50 Oct 16 2021
Times Read: 766
He's right, I am a bad influence xD
So I was at work last week, and the kids came in. And my 6 year old nephew was harassing me while I was busy, so of course, I threatened to destroy him, like I do xD
And the adorable little guy says to me, "You can't destroy me. Uncle Wolfie wouldn't let you have the mini chainsaw."
And my boss's wife turns, looks at me, and says, "Mini chainsaw? That sounds FUN."
We're such psychos xD
My boss actually, shockingly, wasn't texting me last night to ask me to work. He wanted to know what color, and size hoodie to get me for work. Because they like us to wear stuff with the shop logo on it, and all I have are t-shirts so he's getting me a hoodie :3 Which is good because it means they definitely like having me work there, they honestly do treat me like family. I'm going to feel slightly bad when Wolfie comes back to get me, but I did warn them that I wouldn't be there permanently, like forever.
My boss says to me, "The only reason for you to go to Russia is if you want to become a pornstar. Russia has some freaky porn..."
And I'm just like, and you know this from personal investigation, huh?
"N-no, I've had friends tell me things."
Whatever you say, bossman, I ain't judgin' xD
16:53 Oct 15 2021
Times Read: 789
I need to do some fucking shopping.
I keep waiting for the Halloween sales to kick up, but... I want stuff now xD
They have started. Restyle is already doing 15% off, Black Craft has been running deals all month. But I'm waiting to see what Killstar's going to do. I'm predicting 30% off site wide. Maybe 40, but 40 usually isn't until Black Friday.
Does it sound like I have a major shopping addiction xD
I'm not that bad. I did spend $222 at KS this morning, but mostly on sellable stuff. And I get paid today. My boss text me at like 11 last night, "Hey, kid, you still awake?" I was half asleep so I didn't respond, but I'm curious what he wanted. I can almost guarantee it's to ask me to work on Saturday. Every time they give me a Saturday off they have always then asked me to work it xD
Not that I mind. I'm in a committed relationship, and there are constantly 4-6 of my nieces, and nephews here all weekend, I got nowhere else better to be. The kids love coming in on Saturday nights a couple hours before close, and just hanging out there. It's an ice cream/candy shop so obviously... And no one else minds them being there. They love to harass my boss, they're such evil little minions, they make me so proud :3
01:39 Oct 15 2021
Times Read: 825
Me a week ago: The time has come to start dressing like an adult.
I'll take it all💗
22:37 Oct 14 2021
Times Read: 858
Strike up the Bomberman Hero victory screen because I fucking did it💗
This is the sense of humor that Dark Souls has, and why it is a living entity...
So for the last trophy I was working on, Knight's Honor, you have to collect every rare weapon in the game. Ok, not so bad, there are ONLY 47 of them. Several are tail cuts, you cut the tail off a dragon, and you get a weapon, pretty simple. The only slightly difficult one there is Priscilla because her tails is rather small, and she goes invisible, but she's a pretty easy boss so no big deal. You also have to get the boss weapon/weapons from every boss soul. This one is also not so bad, but it does require you to get into NG++ because you will need Sif's Soul 3 times for the Cleansing Greatshield, and both versions of Artorias sword. It's actually even possible to fight Sif immediately after you get to Firelink if you have the Master Key, and can get down into Darkroot Basin. Past the Hydra, up the waterfall, and the forest is right there. Of course, you still have to get to Anor Londo in order to access the Giant Blacksmith to make the third weapon from Sif's Soul, but ya know.
Anyway, like I was saying, DS has a very dark sense of humor. Here we have the Channeler's Trident, one of the required rare weapons.
This is an incredibly rare drop from the Channeler enemy, when I was actually trying to get it I was sure the drop rate was like -.000025, it just refused to drop for me. I was farming for it in the Duke's Archives which isn't an especially difficult area, but there are a lot of enemies there who, once juiced up by that asshole Channeler's magic dance, could kill me in one hit. You've got several of them trying to chop you down with swords while a few more shoot an endless barrage of arrows at you, all which can kill you... In. One
Hit. Needless to say, it's an extremely annoying place to desperately try to kill one little Channeler in hopes it drops it's fucking Trident. So if it's so rare then why do I have three? Oh, that's the best part. So after about, I dunno, 50 tries it eventually drops, huge success, I immediately leave the area. But eventually I come back to look for something, and I think to myself... What are the odds that I kill this thing, and it immediately drops? So I do. And it did xD In one try. Then a few hours later I'm back in the area again, going for the Broken Pendant to access the DLC, I kill it again, and it drops AGAIN first try.
Son of a BITCH.
But hey, I got it, that's what's important😐
Bomberman Hero had some great music...
01:42 Oct 14 2021
Times Read: 893
These motherfuckers are gonna make me buy a PS5, aren't they...
Hopefully not for a couple more years xD
I just haven't felt like it's been necessary to buy one yet, and Wolfie is always telling me, "It's time to join the PC Master Race," But for this... Yeah, 100% necessary. It doesn't even need a sequel, but I will play the shit outta it if it happens❤
20:19 Oct 12 2021
Times Read: 941
It's so simple, but so gorgeous. I love the color. I think this is a perfect step in the right direction with my wardrobe.
I am also completely in love with this one.
It is see-through... But with a slip or the right lingerie it could be perfect. I really want more long dresses. I love my legs, but... Longer dresses just have a completely different feel. An elegance that I need.
The problem is that I'm so small so long dresses tend to drag. They're not so bad in the right heels though.
I told Wolfie I still really want a circlet, something in silver with flowers or a crescent moon. Maybe both. Moon flower themed. He said he would look into getting me one custom made. Not just a headband or a tiara, I want a proper circlet. What? I think it would be a great fashion statement❤
04:45 Oct 12 2021
Times Read: 982
Wolfie is still sick so he's going to the doctor tomorrow. He said it's not a cough or a fever, he's just really stuffy, and feels really cold so probably just a cold bug. It could be his blood though so I'm still worried. He has an autoimmune blood disorder so it's really not good when he gets sick. Another reason I wish he'd stop traveling around so much, it's probably putting a lot of stress on him, and I'm not there to take care of him. Not that he needs it, but it's nice to make him tea, and keep him warm. Of course, he never wants me near him when he's sick because he knows my immune system is weakened, but he can't really stop me in that state.
"I'm physically fine, I could still snap a mans neck right now if I had to."
Yes, dearest one, now back to bed with you, don't make me get the handcuffs~♡
Speaking of doctors, mine finally called me today. I mentioned awhile back that I hadn't been to the doctor in forever, and I haven't really been taking my meds like I'm supposed to. But since they called I did make an appointment for the 28th. Which is interesting... Because my kidney transplant was October 29th, 2007 so it's fitting to go in before my big anniversary xD I am afraid of what they'll tell me which is why I've been avoiding it. It's not like me to avoid the hard truth of things, I usually like to know the worst before anything. If my kidney is failing, which I doubt it is because I feel fine, but if it were then it's not like I'd drop dead. I'd have to go back on dialysis, actual literal torture, and then hopefully get another kidney. I'm a good candidate for another transplant. Aside from that my health is great, I'm still young, and I've taken excellent care of this one up until about a year ago. Which I also finally told Wolfie about... He was not happy that I haven't been taking my meds. Obviously. I mean. I couldn't really afford them then. So of course he asks me why I didn't just tell him I needed the money. And it's a lot of things. One being that I don't ever want him to feel like I'm another girl just using him for money. Because that has happened to him. And I'm tired of having to rely on other people to constantly take care of me. Oh, and then there was my dad telling my mom, "We're not helping her, she needs to take care of herself, this isn't our problem." Thanks, dad. I think that was the real trigger to me hiding it from everyone until I could handle it myself or not and die trying. But that's how it's always been with him, my entire medical history, and presence has been nothing, but an inconvenience to him since the day I was born. So what else is new. My mom would die for any of her kids, but I couldn't put this on her with him telling her shit like that. So when people look at me, and say, "You'd rather possibly let yourself die than ask the people who love you for help?' Yeah, kinda xD When I hear stuff like that from my own father, just a bit. It's my problem, right? I did what I had to do. And I've felt so guilty about it because what would happen to Wolfie if I'm not here? He's already blaming himself, but it wasn't him, it was all me. I stopped taking my meds, and I hid it from everyone, but I'm going to fix it. I don't think it's too late. See, this is why I always laugh when Wolfie tells me he's so fucked up with so much baggage xD Because I'm pretty fucked up too, I just don't talk about it because what can you do except keep going? I didn't lie, I just didn't tell anyone. Which... maybe is just as bad a lying. This is probably why Wolfie calls me self-destructive. I'm really not. I love my life, I don't want to die. And I'm not, fuck, people are so dramatic. It'll be interesting to see where my kidney function is at though. Honestly, I haven't had any symptoms of failure. No big infections, I don't feel sick, tired, weak, I'm not puffy, I'm not gaining water weight, I'm eating fine, breathing fine. But I could be on the threshold just barely above going downhill. So... Dialysis is really my worst nightmare, I hate it so much. The actual transplant was no big deal, I healed super fast, but the Dialysis... And I was in a children's hospital back then, I can't imagine it now. But I'm a bit older, and I have Wolfie. I would hate myself if this stopped me from going to him. That would be like... the ultimate fuck you from the Universe. Remember that really bad decision you made
? Here are the consequences. Yeah, that would suck. I'd deserve it, but it would really, really suck. It's not really the meds that are expensive even, it's the bloodwork. It costs almost $1000 to get my labs done, and the doctor needs them done every 3 months to give me my meds. That just wasn't possible a year ago on my own. Yes, I looked into, and tried everything. But now with my job, and my business really popping off I can handle this, I can take care of myself. Geez. Wolfie, and I make quite a pair with our overload of mental issues... it's no wonder we found each other. I'm glad we did. I feel bad for not letting him handle this. I feel stupid for being so insecure. But I'm fixing it.
And this is why it pisses me off when my brother comes to me, "You know, dad's been talking about how much he regrets how he's treated you." He goddamn fucking should.
And as much as all that is, that's not even all of it. Then there was covid happening, killing off people with weak immune systems. Not a great time to be on immunosuppressants. Maybe in the long run this was for the best, we'll never know. What happened, happened. All we can do is move forward.
01:27 Oct 11 2021
Times Read: 1,015
I had a nice day out shopping with my 8 year old niece. Spent almost $100 at the makeup store because I saw they released a new version of one my favorite perfumes...
Not just Good Girl, but VERY Good Girl❤
And it's red. And it's rose scented which is one of my favorite scents to wear. I showed it to Wolfie before I bought it, and he agreed it was perfect for me so I got the mini size to try it out, but I already love it, it smells amazing on me.
I also needed a refill on mascara. Better Than Sex by Too Faced is a classic, and it came in a set with this gloss for $30. Separate the mascara is usually $27, and the gloss is $24 so it's a pretty great steal. I don't typically use plumping gloss, buuuut for only $3 I'll definitely take it. I also got my niece a new eyeshadow palette because I can't take any of my nieces to look at makeup, and not buy them anything, no girl should leave the makeup store empty-handed.
Wolfie is sick with a cold so I'm a little worried. He's been going through so many airports within the last few months I just wish he'd stay put. We're really hoping it won't take too much longer til he can come get me. He wants to make sure his paperwork is all good beforehand, and then he should be able to come back here for at least a couple weeks. I told him he's going to have to explain to my parents this whole getting married thing xD He did say he's looking into getting me a visa for a couple months so I could go there with him, see what it's like living there, and decide whether I really want that for myself. We all know that wherever Wolfie goes, I go, but I appreciate that he wants me to have options. We really need the time physically together too, he's been gone out of the country almost 2 years now so we really need to have some time together before really deciding 100% to get married. Like I said, we already know we have that level of commitment to each other, but still. I did ask him why his feelings on going back to Russia suddenly changed from never wanting to go back to wanting to live there. He said it's not the same place he remembers it as when he was a kid, and he feels like he really fits in there. And you have to remember, Wolfie grew up in a chaotic family being severely abused so his feelings of being unsafe, and unstable probably had nothing to do with Russia itself, it was probably more linked to his memories of his parents there. Being there on his own he seems to be doing well, and that's all I really care about when it comes to the place we live. I'm kind of excited to move to Moscow though, it's so crazy, I never thought he would ever move us there. I do prefer Winter clothes over Summer, and it is a bit chilly there through a lot of the year. Wolfie said he wanted to buy me a pretty fur coat, but I'd rather it were faux fur. I think I kinda overwhelmed him with questions. Will people like me there? What do Russian women wear? How much does it snow? Is there room for the stripper pole? Will you be able to install the mirrors on the ceiling? Important details xD But it's already perfect because he's there working on it for us. I'm going to go through my closet, and downgrade again. I saw these...
And don't get me wrong, they are goddamn hideous xD But... I kinda want them.
I want this set too.
I don't love the skulls on the socks, but the skirt I adore. And you know... just looking at neckties makes me feel so...
And this, and this, and this❤
03:41 Oct 09 2021
Times Read: 1,061
Why do I look so emo?
This was probably about six years ago several months before I met Wolfie. I was blonde when we met, and it took several months to get there. That's why, as much as I kinda want to go back to red, it's really hard to go to blonde from red so that's a long-term commitment. Maybe someday. I initially went blonde to make my hair pink, and it just kinda really suits me. I think Wolfie would enjoy me as a redhead... But probably not as much as a blonde❤
I know that was me, but it doesn't feel like me, ya know?
Makes me wanna turn on some Lacuna Coil or Nightwish or AFI. Maybe a little Therion. I'd say Cradle of Filth, but we all know I've never stopped listening to them.
Ok, that's a little too far back, now we're getting into high school xD
I just turned on Swamped, and literally got chills. I still know every word to that album. I feel 15 again.
"Hail to Mother Kali who burn the world another time."
That's always the first thing I remember when I think of Therion.
Fuck, I miss the music of my youth xD
The Siren by Nightwish❤
Ok, I have to stop or I'll be up all night.
Hold up. We can still go back even further...
Well. I fuckin hate that shit xD
Don't remind me.
22:35 Oct 08 2021
Times Read: 1,106
Boy. I love being reminded why I speak to my father as little as possible. He can't just see me be happy, and leave it alone. "Your job is screwing you over, those are bad people, I read people really well, and I can tell."
No, father. You don't read people well. You criticize the shit out of people, picking them apart, then tell everyone, "I told you so," when people do anything wrong, and don't live up to your ridiculous standards.
That's not reading people. That's just being an asshole.
He's trying to tell me that the lady who trained me is screwing me over. Recently my hours got cut by four. But it wasn't just mine, it was everyones. I work in an ice cream shop. You know what people don't really want when it's super cold? Which it is here from November-March. So it's not personal that they're cutting people back a bit, they don't need two people working every night anymore with how slow it gets in the colder months. I get it. He's trying to say she's stealing my hours. Um, no, hers got cut too, I can see the schedule, in fact, she has less than I do now. On top of which, she was the one who helped interview me, told them they should hire me, then trained me. She's gone out of her way to make me feel like family there. Oh, but she's sure conspiring behind my back, right? Then there's the fact that they still give me any extra shifts that come up because she tells them to give them to me. I wasn't supposed to be working tomorrow. Surprise, I am because they asked me to, and not the other two people who work there.
My dad thinks he knows everything about everything, and it drives me nuts. He's treated me like an idiot all my life because that's how his parents have always treated him which is why I prefer not to be around them either. The tragedy is that I enjoy talking with my mother, but everything I tell her goes straight to him, and I know that so I try not to get too personal about my life with even her. And then my brother, bless him, sticks up for him every time. I can't talk to anyone in this family, and they wonder how I could possibly just up, and move across the fucking planet xD Obviously, I want to most importantly for my relationship, but ya know, getting the fuck away doesn't sound so bad either.
If you ever wonder why I have issues, my dad is a major part of that. Which is funny because people are always like, "Oh, that's why you're a sub, daddy issues." Fuck no. I ain't lookin for daddy. The daddy Dom thing is actually a huge turnoff for me personally, no offense, it's not for me. As cute, and immature, and bratty as I may be I 100% do not like being treated like a child. And Wolfie says that's why I really enjoy being a sub because as a Dom he treats me like a seductive, addictive, insatiable woman. He sees me, he gets it without me even explaining it. And sometimes an adorable, naughty little kitten xD But that's not the same to me, kitten play and ddlg can be integrated into each other, but they can also be completely separate. Being a Kitten doesn't mean you have to be a Little, and vice-versa. I'm just saying, it's not about finding daddy, I don't see Wolfie as daddy, I see him as Master who I belong to and with.
He said that the bdsm thing is pretty hush-hush in Russia. I guess people there are super not open about stuff like that.. He was telling me about the apartment in Moscow, and he said it has two walk-in closets. We agree that those will be mine, and we'll keep his clothes... somewhere else xD Juuuust kidding. Maybe... We've already had some luck with the first part of his documents already getting approved, that's more progress in a week there than he'd had in 3+ months in Slovenia. I really liked Slovenia, it looked like a beautiful place, and the apartment there was nice so maybe we will be able to move there eventually if this covid shit ever calms the fuck down. I don't mind Russia though, it'll be interesting. Wolfie says I'll fit right in, I look like the stereotypical Russian girlfriend. No... I think I look like the stereotypical Russian mail-order bride fantasy xD Except I'm trying to get in, not out so that'll be interesting.
I asked him what Russia women wear.
"Nice stuff. Elegant. Expensive."
Ok, ok... I can get behind this xD
As much as I love my Gothic style I have been thinking on it for awhile that it's time to dress more appropriately. If I don't want to be treated like a little girl then I shouldn't dress as one. So getting rid of most of my clothing, and getting a completely fresh wardrobe may be great for me.
15:05 Oct 08 2021
Times Read: 1,129
I woke up at around 4, and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I do have work today, but only from 12-4 which is pretty much the sit around for 4 hours shift xD They asked if I'd rather work Fridays or Saturdays instead of both from now on so obviously I'm gonna choose Friday so I can have my weekend. I always have shit to do on Saturdays, and having to be at work at 4 usually means being in a fucking rush. Not my problem if they get swamped on Saturdays although I've never not gone in when they've called me. But I slept like 6 hours, and I'm working easy shift so no big deal. Wolfie time is like 8 hours ahead so by the time I get off it's midnight there, but he's usually up late anyway. He's already ran into a problem in Russia, he said he needs to prove that his parents are actually his parents. Oddly enough, his mother helped him immediately, but he's lost track of his dad again so... I was really hoping the two of them would patch things up a bit, but that's not seemingly likely. His dad is like this elusive, enigmatic genius who has totally lost touch with 99% of humanity. And then I guess his dad got remarried, and he knew nothing about it. He really disapproved of his wife once he met her because, "She's a really pretty ex-ballerina, but she's way too dumb to be with someone like him, I don't see what he sees in her." And it's like, well Wolfie, you barely know the woman. And then, as cruel and malicious as his mother is, she's also incredibly, ridiculously intelligent so maybe dude just wants someone simple and good-looking. I feel like the smarter people are the more miserable they often are. Then you have to look at us. You gotta wonder what people think about us. Most people think I'm just another ditzy blonde trophy, and maybe on the surface I like people to think that because then they underestimate me, but I'm not an idiot or a gold-digger. Despite knowing he'll give me anything in the world, I never ask my boyfriend for shit, I get it myself if I want it. I'm just saying, sometimes people are deeper than they seem, and from what I've heard he is A LOT like his dad so I gotta respect another woman who can handle that. But maybe I'm wrong, and she's just a big idiot, who knows. I'm going to be pretty annoyed if he can't track him down, and get what he needs from him, thus delaying everything even further. I just want all of this to be settled so we can finally move forward. I honestly don't care where we live I just wish he'd pick somewhere, and fucking stay there already xD He's trying his best, you know, he's just trying to do what's best for us, but sometimes it feels like the harder he tries the further away he gets. It's crazy because he's not an impulsive person, he always plans things out way in advance, but this move has been incredibly spontaneous. He asked me if I thought he was making a mistake by doing all this instead of just coming back here, and I told him it doesn't really matter if it was a mistake or not, this is what we have now, all we can do is move forward, and make the best of it, hopefully it turns out for the best. He tends to worry too much about the what-ifs whereas I'm more like, hey, what happened, happened, we keep going. I'm not sure why he's so adamant about not coming back to the US, he says the only thing here for him is me, and I've told him that he will have to come back to get me, I am not traveling to Russia by myself, that's non-negotiable. You're gonna fly your ass back here, and explain to my parents that you're whisking me away to a foreign land, and marrying me to keep me there. Mainly my mother, it's not my dad you have to worry about, my mom is the overly protective one which he already knows, and has experienced. And yes, I'm a full grown adult, I don't need to do any of that, but I want my parents to be more comfortable with everything. I've done the whole bit where I've left for months suddenly with no explanation. I don't want to put them through that again. Can you imagine your child waking you up just to be like, "Hey, I'm headed across the country like right now, sorry, bye." My mom was crying, and I just walked away. It's been over ten years, and I still feel terrible about that, what was I thinking, how could I be so... immature. That's the only way to describe it, I was an immature, selfish, stupid little bitch, but I feel like I've grown a lot since then.
As usual everything is a big chaotic mess.
22:42 Oct 07 2021
Times Read: 1,156
That Rare Weapons one is a real bitch. You gotta get like 50 of them. I've already managed to get all the tail cuts, and I just need one more Gwyndolin/Sif/Gwyn to finish the boss weapons. Now I just need to get lucky enough to get the drops I need. I dunno, I like doing trophies, it's fun, and it gives me an excuse to play my favorite games over and over xD
05:42 Oct 07 2021
Times Read: 1,168
And now I found the mesh version.
Isn't it awesome when you don't realize how much you love a design til it's sold out? Some fool was selling it brand new for $20 free shipping. I could resell this for $75 at least. But... I think I'll keep it. There's still a purse lurking out there somewhere with these vampiric roses. Oh, I'll find it❤
05:01 Oct 07 2021
Times Read: 1,193
Wolfie is in Russia now. I knew a week ago when he asked if I'd be comfortable moving there that, that's where he'd soon be. I'm not upset about it, he did ask, and of course I gave him the same response I always give him. You're my alpha, wherever you go, I go. Whatever you decide, I will trust and support. Which is true unless it's like... completely ridiculous. The interesting thing is that all these years we've been together he's always been extremely adamant about never taking me there xD He's always said how dangerous, and unstable it is there. And now he's completely flipped to, "Russia is the one place I know you'll be safest." Uh... well, ok. He's also always talked about how amazing Europe is, and how that's where he definitely wanted to be, that was always the plan, and he finally gets there, and gets it started then gives up. To be fair, the world is fuckin crazy right now, and a lot of countries aren't exactly being super welcoming of foreigners moving in so they're making it nearly impossible for it to happen, and being extremely slow about it. It took him 3+ months just to get the paperwork, and then his lawyer called, and said there was going to be a major delay which is when he called me, and asked how I felt about everything, especially things potentially taking a lot longer. Of course I told him I just want us together, that's all I want. The easiest way would be for him to come back to the US which we did talk about, but he's firmly against that. So next easiest is Russia.
Like I've mentioned, he was born there, and has lived there so he still has citizenship there. That means that not only is it super easy for him to move there, but me too. He said we'd just have to get married. And I was like, oh, we JUST have to get married, that's all xD Ok, I'm not even going to pretend that I wouldn't marry him in a heartbeat. And honestly, it's not really a big deal considering other factors. In the bdsm community when you properly collar someone it's basically the same thing as getting engaged/married, it's agreeing to a major commitment, to be with or belong to that person for the long haul. So... we've already had that level of commitment for years. Have we always been the most stable couple? No. But I don't know any couple who is. And considering how we both are I think we're doing pretty good. I never really cared if we ever got married, I don't need that to show how intensely we belong to each other, but if we need the paperwork then I wouldn't mind it. So now he's working on all that which hopefully will be a faster process. I just want him to feel comfortable, and safe wherever he chooses. No where on this planet is really safe, everything is kinda constantly fucked, but I want him to pick whichever he feels is best for us. Although... I'm not crazy about having to learn Russian, it legit just looks like squiggles to me, and when he speaks it he sounds like an alien xD Like... those can't be actual words he's saying, no offense Russia. I always knew I'd have to learn it eventually because of his family. I guess that's one positive thing though, he does have family there, and apparently everyone he's shown me to so far says I look like a Barbie xD I don't think I'm tall enough to pull her off... Then there's the piercings, and the tattoos. Fucking psycho barbie🔪❤
07:35 Oct 06 2021
Times Read: 1,218
I've been humming this song for awhile now, trying to remember where it was from. Then suddenly...
The best things always come back to video games.
I don't think I've heard it in several years❤
02:38 Oct 05 2021
Times Read: 1,249
Obviously, I bought this for pink cleaver bunny.
But knife kitty is pretty cute too :3
Also Chibi-Usa ^^
Sailor Moon aside, Wolfie calls me Little Bunny sometimes so it's perfect for me. He prefers me in darker colors, but my kawaii side must be satisfied...
...with lots of pastel pink.
And new kitty ears.
Because I like having an assortment. Especially the ears with bells. That's pretty much any kitten though, we love to wear bells ^^
And last this pretty moon phase skirt.
Despite all the dreams, I love the moon, I always have, and I wouldn't blame it or anything else for destroying humanity❤
17:42 Oct 04 2021
Times Read: 1,273
I stand by Silent Hill 4 being super underrated/underappreciated. I mean... it's wacky as shit...
And the protagonist is pretty terrible xD
But there's just something I really like about Walter Sullivan as a villain.
I'd still take Henry over Ethan in a heartbeat though.
05:59 Oct 04 2021
Times Read: 1,305
Creepy Girl dress by Collectif
Literally says Creepy Girl on the dress xD But also Moon Child and Baby Ghoul. I feel like I really wanted this dress last year, and then completely forgot about it... Oddly enough, Collectif isn't selling it, but Unique Vintage is. Who, by the way, I don't recommend ordering from. I ordered three dresses a month ago, and have so far only received one. They keep telling me they're still waiting on the others which were supposed to have been at their warehouse a couple weeks ago. It's just kind of ridiculous, and misleading to have people buy things from you that maybe take months to get there. So I'm not really a fan, but I love their spookier stuff. It's not like I need those dresses right now, but I paid like $200+ for them, I'd like them all.
So I know I said I wasn't going to buy anything with this octopus design because I don't like when brands slap an octopus on something then say it's Lovecraftian. But... It also has moons on it. And it is pretty. Honestly, I'll probably end up selling it because it's completely sold out now, but I don't hate it.
Memento Mori Top
I mean. It's a tank top xD Ok, so KS recently put a ton of stuff on clearance for like under £15. Dresses, leggings, tops, all of which have sold out by now. But I was lucky enough to grab several items for super cheap because I'm always stalking their site, and this was one of them.
Another was the Vampire Bait Corset top
They marked it down from $52 to $12, and I had just sold one of them for $69 a week ago. Yeah. So I got a couple more. In my opinion, it's kinda basic so I don't understand why it's so highly sought after, but I'm happy to sell them.
KS has been running another sale this weekend, 25% off on shoes, and accessories, and I've managed to refrain from buying a bunch of shoes, and purses since I've been trying to sell a lot of what I have. As beautiful as I may think some things are, I'm bad about buying things then never using them because I don't want to ruin them, and that's stupid, stuff is made to be used, and if you're not going to use it then get rid of it, Aiyana xD Hey... I'm trying. I had a fucking ordeal with a dress today.
I have this dress that's been sitting for sale for I'd say over a year now. Which is ridiculous because it's gorgeous, completely sold out, and I'm selling it under retail because it's been sitting there so long. I have all my sale dresses on or under a clothing rack, and every time a different dress gets sold I see it, and I'm always like, don't worry, sweetie, your time will come. Talking to my clothes should come as no surprise to anyone, I don't have to explain myself to you xD Anywho, finally, FINALLY it sells, and for my asking price with no negotiating, they bought it outright, my favorite kinda sale. I go to package it up, and wouldn't you know it, it's gone. Which is impossible because I've looked at it every day as I've packed up other dresses, I've seen it sitting there every fucking day, it didn't just walk away, what the fuck? Of course it had to be that one that went missing, the one that's been sitting there forever, couldn't have been anyone else. I clear out everything in that corner, can't find it, everything on that side of the room, can't find it, it's actually completely dissolved into non-existence. Until I suddenly realize... My laundry basket. I had been over there picking up clothes, and shoving them in there with absolutely no regard. And that's exactly where it was... Hiding underneath a pile of lace panties, and knee high socks. It's safely tucked into a package waiting to be mailed out tomorrow, but I was this fucking close to setting everything around me on fire in pure rage xD Because I knew that as soon as I canceled the order I would've found it. I also sold four other dresses, and a hat over the week, pretty good :3
19:08 Oct 03 2021
Times Read: 1,342
I've been having this reoccurring dream for a couple years now about either the moon or another planet smashing into Earth.
It was really intense last night because it was a dream within a dream... In my dream, I was dreaming that I was outside watching the moon get bigger, and bigger as it got closer, and I guess I had accepted it because honestly, what the fuck are we going to do if the fucking moon decides to come at us xD I think I saw there was a movie about that coming out which is kind of hilarious since I've been dreaming about it for awhile. But in my dream within a dream I remember when it finally crashed into the Earth for some reason I went flying like gravity just stopped, and that's what "woke me up" so of course I got out of bed, looked outside, and the moon was still huge in the sky except it kinda looked more like a giant planet just blocking out everything. And that's when I actually woke up. Maybe. I could still be dreaming, I've been having more, and more trouble telling the difference between dreaming, and the real world. What makes this world so real anyway? I constantly feel like I'm not completely here. My brother said something like that to me a week ago. "Do you ever feel like nothing is real?" Yes xD All the time. The kids will ask me if I think there's other life out in the Universe. So I show them this
It blows my mind, I could stare at it for hours. How can this be real? And if it is then... why is it there? Why is there so much? How could it possibly be empty? My mom thinks we live in a glass dome, and there's nothing beyond the glass. Because I jokingly asked if she was a flatearther, and she was like, well... xD I just can't wrap my head around this shit actually being out there. Anyway. For a few years I've been having dreams about major celestial apocalypse, and they just keep getting worse. Dreams within dreams are always interesting though, how do you even dream within a dream? How deep does it go? Are we ever really awake? What does it even mean to be awake? Because I'm awake in my dreams. I remember my dreams when I'm awake, but I don't remember the waking world in my dreams. What if there's more we don't remember? What is memory? What is consciousness? What is reality?
I think I need a snack xD Or maybe I'll go play Mass Effect❤
08:50 Oct 02 2021
Times Read: 1,382
Yeahhhh, that's me... xD
Wolfie is deadass Lawful Neutral though.
07:37 Oct 02 2021
Times Read: 1,391
I made it through DS1 with my pyromancer finally. I always start a pyromancer in every game, but never finish with them, I'm not crazy about being a caster, but I love the fire. The problem with being a pyromancer is that I so easily slip back into my comfortable dex build with my spells in the background xD Although I'm using a giant scythe so that takes a little more strength, still scales better with dex though. Interestingly, the scythe is classified as a halberd, but I guess that makes sense. I didn't want to completely fall back into using dual daggers or a bow, and I'm kind of in love with this weapon especially with the Gold-hemmed Black Set which is just ragged black robes.
The running jump attack is so satisfying though with that scythe❤
07:03 Oct 02 2021
Times Read: 1,403