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immortalxkiss's Journal


immortalxkiss's Journal

THIS JOURNAL IS ON 336 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTS

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PROFILE




30 entries this month
 

07:05 Sep 23 2020
Times Read: 39


I revisited Death Parade tonight... It always hits me hard, that one. Very few shows, anime or otherwise, can bring out my emotions the way Death Parade does every single time. I still lose it completely at the end of episode 4, when Decim hugs the two contestants and tells them that they did the best they could. I still long to hear someone tell me they're proud of me, that I'm doing the best I can, while they hold me...

Anyway, this song is the ending theme and, well, it resonates.


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00:27 Sep 23 2020
Times Read: 65


All I have to say is, thank God for Matthew. Without him I don't know where I'd be right now. Having him to talk to has been a saving grace.


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18:25 Sep 22 2020
Times Read: 86


I've been running on autopilot for the last week or so. I don't understand why I feel this way, why the silence has gotten to me so much, but it has. I can't escape it.


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04:18 Sep 20 2020
Times Read: 344


How I long for the days when I was numb, when it took self mutilation to make me feel. If I could just go back to that, that emptiness, that nothing. That numbness...


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Vann
Vann
13:29 Sep 20 2020

Is your life so bad that you don't want to feel anymore?





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
18:53 Sep 20 2020

Yes.





LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
19:03 Sep 20 2020





StellaMattino
StellaMattino
15:28 Sep 23 2020

*hugz*





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

06:09 Sep 19 2020
Times Read: 393


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03:40 Sep 19 2020
Times Read: 407


I don't know how to feel anymore.


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03:43 Sep 18 2020
Times Read: 445


It's been a horribly long day and I would have given anything to just talk to him like I've gotten so used to doing. But, I'm an idiot who ruins all the good things in her life, so now I don't even have that. It's less everything else, but the loss of my friend hurts more the second time around.


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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
04:09 Sep 18 2020

SO very sorry to hear that.





 

06:11 Sep 17 2020
Times Read: 463



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20:10 Sep 16 2020
Times Read: 511


I don't know why it hurts so much, but it does. It feels like complete and utter rejection. The funny thing is, it isn't. But it's having the same effect on me. I dont know what I expected, but it was clearly more than I should have. That will always be my downfall, my expectations. I build things up so much in my head that when reality fails to meet up to that mental image, I'm devistated. The thing is, reality can never meet it. One would think I'd learn, but I never do. And that pain...it's inevitable.


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18:50 Sep 15 2020
Times Read: 547


Spring break. I just have to tell myself that spring break isn't that far off. We've gone this long, what's seven more months?

...A lifetime... It feels like a lifetime.


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06:42 Sep 15 2020
Times Read: 576


I'd run across a river just to hold you tonight...

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PRIVATE ENTRY

06:48 Sep 14 2020
Times Read: 620


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01:44 Sep 13 2020
Times Read: 664



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20:04 Sep 12 2020
Times Read: 691


Well, looks like we won't be moving anytime soon. My mom talked to Kevin and he told her that he can't transfer to another department until he's been out on patrol for at least a year. He won't be able to get into a department that will put him on patrol until around April. And, due to the severity of the fires the whole of the west coast has been dealing with, he's not so fond of Washington anymore. It'll probably be New Hampshire instead. So, that throws everything off. I mean, it's probably better to have the time to get everything settled, to get enough money saved up, but at least another year here... I am not looking forward to that. And, my dad is supposed to be moving back here by the end of the year. New Hampshire wouldn't be a bad place to go to though, it's beautiful up there. And it's close to Massachusetts, so I could go to Salem. Maybe I should look into going to school for nursing since I'm going to be stuck here for a while anyway.


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Hatfield
Hatfield
01:18 Sep 13 2020

I am going to school to be an RN... My Psychology class is already kicking my ass and I am only three weeks in. Working 80 hours a week and trying to do the virtual learning with my son isn't helping my case at all either.





 

03:08 Sep 11 2020
Times Read: 741


California is just enveloped in smoke. Everywhere I went today, smoke, ash raining down, the smell of things burning.

This was Encino at 2:30 in the afternoon. It wasn't overcast, that's just smoke.


And this was on my drive home along the 210 through Monrovia, you can see the flames now.


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MorningStarAldan
MorningStarAldan
04:01 Sep 11 2020

I remember one year here in Washington, fire season was as bad as yours is right now. The ash in the air was thick, smoke everywhere. It was like an eternal bbq daily. Working in the pharmacy, we gave out masks for he elderly since it was too difficult to breathe. We could not keep inhalers or nebulizers stocked back then. It was horrible. There were fire crews who were just beyond exhausted. You could see it in their eyes, that they pretty much had lost their humanity fighting the fires. That was just awful back then. Seeing how it is there, took me back.





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

15:57 Sep 10 2020
Times Read: 781


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19:53 Sep 09 2020
Times Read: 874


I really hate that fucking profile. The Nazi iconography and the glorification of a "race" of people who wanted to wipe out whole groups of people just because they perceived themselves as the best is utterly disgusting.


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SamhainWitch
SamhainWitch
20:12 Sep 09 2020

I am with you on that. I am surprised it is even allowed on here?





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
20:21 Sep 09 2020

It's not against ToS to post up swastikas on your pfiile. It should be, but it isn't.

As someone of Jewish descent, I just find it abhorrent that people want to glorify that shit. And, the owner of said profile knows better, she's not stupid or ignorant.





lilithFires
lilithFires
20:30 Sep 09 2020

His supporting a coward. Which makes him a coward..





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
20:32 Sep 09 2020

The owner of that profile isn't male, despite what the profile itself says.





lilithFires
lilithFires
20:33 Sep 09 2020

Whoever is supporting her profile and her ideas are cowards.





lilithFires
lilithFires
20:37 Sep 09 2020

Whoever is giving her 10's and supporting her are cowards racists and terrible people.





Xaes
Xaes
21:34 Sep 09 2020

I agree with all of the above.





Earthgrinder
Earthgrinder
22:44 Sep 09 2020

What the nazis did was horrific people ought to know any glorification is unacceptable. I puke on the swastika always. And forever and weep for the Jewish people. I agree with you.





SamhainWitch
SamhainWitch
00:10 Sep 10 2020

With is all going on in this world.......😢this profile is horrible.





BloodRoseX
BloodRoseX
22:42 Sep 22 2020

If you look at the bigger picture, the Aryans had nothing to do with the Nazis. They were a real group of people who were into conquering everyone in their path. It was Hitler who assumed that one day, this so-called "Master Race" will return, and he wanted to accelerate the whole process in a very warped and evil manner.

I was moved by the sentence, "Part of the power that does evil, but works the good." There is some German term for this, that I am not able of spelling. This sentence can be found in the Mein Kampf. Thus I linked it with Faust. Mephisto is evil, using the same lines that Hitler did.

Outpost is a zombie-nazi movie, and yes, I believe in guarding against any form of genocide. People ought to be aware of this misunderstanding of the profile.





BloodRoseX
BloodRoseX
22:45 Sep 22 2020

Also, in the Hitler regime, the iron cross was awarded as a medallion to military personnel who has slaughtered a million innocent people. I am not speaking of the biker gangs here, though.





BloodRoseX
BloodRoseX
22:47 Sep 22 2020

Drusus is a strong Roman name. I like this name... nothing significant about it.





BloodRoseX
BloodRoseX
22:59 Sep 22 2020

Also, Gnosticism was once a taboo religion, and the Gnostics were persecuted for believing in what they believed in.





 

08:18 Sep 09 2020
Times Read: 901


Can I tell you how happy that made me? Even if the conversation was short, it was still amazing. I haven't heard that voice in over 7 years, but it's just as I remembered it. The smile, oh if only you could see how much I was smiling the whole time.


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PRIVATE ENTRY

21:15 Sep 08 2020
Times Read: 936


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17:33 Sep 08 2020
Times Read: 944


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10:09 Sep 08 2020
Times Read: 963



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08:28 Sep 07 2020
Times Read: 1,014


Oh, that crush... It never did go away.
Even after all these years.

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10:07 Sep 06 2020
Times Read: 1,044


Reconnecting with old friends made me realize that this world is just too big, there's always so much distance. It's rather unfair of fate to throw amazing people into my life and then make it so they live 2200 miles away...


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05:20 Sep 06 2020
Times Read: 1,066


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03:31 Sep 05 2020
Times Read: 1,094


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01:06 Sep 05 2020
Times Read: 1,112


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09:49 Sep 04 2020
Times Read: 1,165


Well, fuck...

That made me both unbelievably happy and horribly sad at the same time.


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09:37 Sep 03 2020
Times Read: 1,204


It's been a year of ups and downs, but reconnecting with an old friend, that has definitely been one of the high points.


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03:14 Sep 02 2020
Times Read: 1,301


Say Something...



My voice starts cracking toward the end because I'm an emotional bitch... And not the best overall, but I really don't care. This is meant for one person and one person only.

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CraniumCannibal
CraniumCannibal
03:33 Sep 02 2020

MY NEW FAV!!!





ZaZaOujia
ZaZaOujia
04:53 Sep 02 2020

You should really think about becoming a singer.





XbluesandX
XbluesandX
12:52 Sep 02 2020

Wow!! You can’t fake passion. Great job!





 

01:55 Sep 01 2020
Times Read: 815


Now, I'm not saying they're a catfish, but, well, there are an awful lot of red flags. And while my advice won't be heeded, just learn who exactly is the person behind that computer screen before you fall too hard. Messages and texts full of pretty words are nice to get, I know, but all I have to say is try video chatting before you give your heart away. It'll save you a lot of pain, wasted time.


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ZaZaOujia
ZaZaOujia
02:57 Sep 02 2020

I fully agree but even video chatting people can be quite not trustful I would be careful with that as well.








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