Spent the afternoon in the ER. My mom took a bit of a tumble and messed up her shoulder. We originally thought it could be broken or dislocated, but thankfully, after some X-rays it was shown that she just sprained it. She's going to be in a bit of pain for the next few days, but hopefully it'll start getting better sooner rather than later. It's been a long day. I'm just super thankful it wasn't anything more serious, yeah, she's going to be in some pretty bad pain for a while, but at least it wasn't a break. That would be so much worse.
Edit: Kaiser called about 45 minutes ago to inform her that no, she actually did fracture her shoulder. It's a small fracture, but a fracture nonetheless. I'm, annoyed. This is shit they could have told her while she was in the building, not after she's spent hours at home in serious pain. Also, fuck them for not prescribing her something stronger than some ibuprofen for the pain. She's nearly a 60 year old woman, they could have at least cut her some slack and given her a few vicoden or some norcos.
I've played a bit of the Diablo 4 open beta, and I'm not that impressed. Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful game, the graphics are top notch and it's the standard Diablo hellscape. I'm jus not really a Diablo fan. I played a lot of 3 because Chris played a lot of Diablo 3 and I wanted to play with him. And it was fun running through the campaign time and time again on my Necro with Chris and Joe. But, Diablo has never been a favorite franchise. So, I'm just blah with 4. Maybe if I played with someone it would be better, but I doubt it. Playing as a pyromancer doesn't even keep me all that intrigued, and I love burning everything in my path in games. Something about it just doesn't hook me.
Depression contributes to my horrible self image. My horrible self image contributes to my depression. I feel like it's a cycle I can't escape.
I recognize the signs, but it's like there's nothing I can do to keep myself from sinking farther and farther down.
Hugs I understand how you feel
Double hugs. I can also relate. I suffer from the same cycle.
I got a call back from Disney, but unfortunately, due to Faire, I can't work weekends until June, and for the Spring/Summer season, they need everyone to be available each weekend. Honestly, Disney would be an amazing opportunity. Yeah, it's just like a retail job or whatever, but being able to work at the parks is something I'd love to do. I want to assist in those magical days for kids and adults alike. And, Trevor works there so we could hang out if I was able to work in Tomorrowland, since he's Vader and that's his base. But yeah, if I don't have something else lined up by the end of Faire, I'll put in another application.
Omg so jealous lol
Congrats. Hope it works out for later.
Food handlers class taken, certificate sent out with the sexual harassment course certificate. All the info for my pass for the Faire filled out and submitted. He'll be sending out pay info and the menu and pricing this week, and I believe he wants to do a run-through at some point before Faire starts, which is a great idea and I'm not stuck having to learn as I'm dealing with customers. It's nice to know what's going on, that I actually have a job weeks before Faire starts, and not have everything left to the day before like I've had to deal with the last two seasons I worked.
Went and had dinner with my mom, Kevin, Liz, and the kids tonight, that was a nice treat. Liz told us that Lucas wants to do Disneyland for his birthday, so they're gonna go on the 11th of May. I should have my first paycheck by then and a months worth of tips, so, as long as im free, I'll probably go. It'll be a Thursday, so I don't think Logan will be able to make it, since Thursdays tend to be busy for him. But yeah, I was a little upset I was gonna miss his birthday again, but hopefully I won't have to. I will miss Easter, Mother's Day, and two months worth of weekends with Logan, but it'll be worth it in the end.
It's been an amazing weekend that, unfortunately, has ended all too quickly. Like always. I got out there around 4:30 on Friday and we spent the early evening out at the Santa Monica Pier. I usually don't get out there until 9:30, so it was nice having the extra 5 hours together. Saturday was a super busy day. We went out to the Ren Faire job fair to hand in my application. I have been hired on by a new poke booth making its debut at the Faire this year. The owner seems like a really cool guy, around my age, might even be a bit younger. He owns the business with his girlfriend, and they're looking to make this a permanent fixture at the Faire, so it's good to get in on their first year. They want their employees to become their Faire family, so if I do well and prove myself, I'm certain I could have a set job every season if I want. He sent over all the stuff I needed to fill out this morning, and I took care of most of it this afternoon while Logan took a bath. I was going to do the food handlers certification course too, but that would have taken two extra hours out of our time together, so, I'll do that one tomorrow. It's a relief, having some kind of job, even if it is just the weekends, for a solid 8 weeks. That way I can manage to pay my bills but still have the ability to look for something a little more permanent without being overly stressed. After the Faire we went out to Buena Park to spend the afternoon. We had a nice lunch and went to a Barnes and Noble to look around. He bought me a little Plague Doctor stuffie, for me to have and cuddle when I don't have him. I love it. After that we had fun at Medieval Times. I hadn't been in years, so it was fun to go. Yeah, it's hokey, but I loved every minute of it. We got two pictures of us to keep. A nice little memento. It was a whole lot of fun. And today we just stayed in bed and relaxed all day after everything yesterday.
I do so much better when I'm with him. I don't worry about my situation or stress about the things I need to do. It's so easy. He makes me so unbelievablely happy. It's when I'm not with him that I get depressed. But, hopefully now that I do know I have employment starting in April, I can stop worrying as much as I have been. I still need to find a real job, but this will work for the time being.
My new unrealistic life goals would be to learn how to play the hurdy gurdy and the bagpipes. On top of wanting to learn the violin and piano. The Ren Faire nerd in me is really coming out strong these days.
Why Unrealistic? When anything you put there is achievable.
:) If you do- we need video.
I can feel myself sinking back into my depression. I've been doing really good, I haven't had a spiral into depression for over a year, but my current situation has really done a number on me. I'm really trying to keep myself out of that familiar mindset, and with Logan, it's somewhat easier, but I can feel myself slipping here and there. I hate this. I hate the situation that has put me here. And I hate that I feel like I have no control and no way to change the situation. It's really fucking me up.
Hold on, keep strong. Do something just for yourself. Here if you need a shoulder, ear.
I will forever love him for his willingness to buy me shiny rocks. He bought me three really pretty labradorite palm stones yesterday, gorgeous flashes of that deep blue I love in labradorite. We went looking at crystal shops because I like my pretty, shiny rocks, and we stumbled on a really good one for amazing large decorative pieces. The prices were rather reasonable for the stones. There was a gorgeous slab of labradorite for $1,111 that I would kill for. When we get our own place together, we'll probably stop by that shop and pick out some standout pieces. But for now, my palm stones are enough. Next weekend we're gonna go to Medieval Times. Yeah, it's a bit hokey, but I haven't been in at leat a decade, and I like watching jousting, which they do. So, that'll be a nice date night that I'm looking forward to. We saw 65 on Saturday. I love me some Adam Driver and dinosaurs, and this had both. I mean, it wasn't Jurrasic Park or anything, but I enjoyed it for what it was. I hate that our weekends together always seem to go by so quickly. It never feels like we get enough time together. But, at least I get next weekend with him, too. Two weekends in a row together is pretty rare for us.
Medieval Times- went once, loved it. Been several times to fairs tho.
This week has been pretty disheartening, not gonna lie. You'd think it would be easier to find a job in the current climate, but no. On top of the hunt, I've been sick, so that's been fun to deal with. Thankfully, I am starting to feel better. So, Monday, I'll probably go hit a few temp aganecies around here that specialize in office work, because I would rather off myself than go back to a warehouse. I really wish I could find another process server job, one with a company car, because I really liked the work. Hated the drives home sometimes, but I liked the work. I was good at it.
Applying for jobs is some of the most soul crushing shit, man. Knowing I'm not going to hear from 99% of these companies I'm putting in applications for just sucks.
I know. Job hunting sucks. I hope you have a better experience than you are expecting.
Its soul crushing, true. But hang in there. I hope you get a call from the job you wanted the most.
I'm sorry, but you're not an artist just because you can use MidJourney or DALL·E 2 or any other AI art generator out there. Slapping your name on an AI generated piece doesn't make it yours, it doesn't make younan artist. I find it rather gross that people are trying to sit there and say they're real artists when that's all they do. Come up with a prompt, have an AI program create the work, and then put their name on it like it's something they created. No dude.
It would indeed be better to give credit to the program being used and acknowledge the fact it is AI to make sure there is no confusion or leading to believe it was hand drawn, painted or whatever the media is.
I've been really on the fence about working the Faire again this season. After last year, the whole event has been tainted. But, I figured I'd put in an application this year and see if I can get into the ticket booth instead of working for Lisa, since I know Nick won't take me on again. And, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I'm not going to text Lisa about working, and I'm not going to stress it. I love the money and I love interacting with people, but being accused of something I have naver done and would never do really puts a damper on the whole thing. Plus, I'm not super eager to lose weekends with Logan for two months. But, I guess it doesn't hurt to try.
Well, it's been an amazing year and a half, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. My end is on Friday. I've been unbelievably blessed to have been given the opportunity I had been, to watch those kids grow up. It's gonna suck having to go back to a regular job. Though, dealing with adults will be easier than dealing with those kids some days, haha.
It snowed in SoCal! It was cold enough in the IE that it actually snowed on Saturday. All the way in to around Upland. But, definitely where I live. Fortunately, I left for Logan's on Friday, so I missed it, but it happened and I have so many pictures and videos from family about it. It's really not something that happens often, which is why it's pretty big news. I don't remember it snowing anywhere I have lived, but Logan said he remembered when it snowed around LA when he was a kid. So, yeah. Outside of the mountains and the desert, snow in the major cities is a rare occurrence.
Logan and I went up to Solvang since I'd never been. It's this really cute Dutch city up in the Santa Barbra mountains. On the way home it snowed, so I mean, we did get snow too. Granted, we got it where it's supposed to be, and not outside his front door. But, despite the cold and the rain, it was a really nice time. There are lots of cute little shops and we had a really nice lunch at a pretty nice restaurant. Though, next time we have to eat at one of the actual Dutch bakeries. We got my mom some Dutch chocolate, which are super good, I got my sister-in-law a little bar of soap with a labradorite stone embedded in it, and for the kids and my brother, some fudge. Logan bought me three small labradorite stones with really pretty flashes of blue, and a bracelet of tourmaline and Palo Santo beads. He spoils me. But yeah, it was a really nice time. Lots of driving, Solvang is nearly two hours away from Hidden Hills, and then with the rain and the snow, it was a long drive. But, we had fun. That's how I know he's the one, we have fun even just driving in the car. It's never boring.
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23:45 Mar 31 2023
Oh no. Hope she is doing better.