How hypocritical is it to talk about people stealing when one has been caught plagiarizing.
But, convenient that we forget about that, right?
It hurts, seeing just how little 13 years meant to you. One thing, one serious thing I asked and you couldn't do it after telling me you would. You threw us away, not me.
Gifts, no matter how small, mean the world to me. Because it's not so much the importance of the object being given, more so the fact that I was thought of at all. I'm not used to it, because I so rarely get things from people. But, pocky and a favorite drink... Remembering that I even liked this drink because our adventure in Downtown LA was so long ago... That means everything to me. To be thought of. To be remembered. This made me smile the biggest smile last night.
So sleepy. Might just blow off the plans I have tonight with a friend. I'm in bed now, and it's too comfortable to say goodbye to.
Work for the rest of the week and possibly Monday as well. It ruined some plans of staying over at John's, but honestly, I'd pick work over him any day. It's good news, things are getting back to some kind of normal.
Talked to Art today. With the state starting to reopen and most areas hitting phase two, field work is starting to trickle back in. So, I go in tomorrow, and maybe Thursday and/or Friday, not quite sure yet. I know it's still only a few days a week, but a few days Is better than not working at all.
And tonight, the sky just seems a little darker. The stars, ghosts caught up in a blanket of black. Everything feels desolate, empty, including me.
I spent the last week and a half going through my journal and marking the vast majority of it private. In the end I probably should have just deleted the whole damn thing and started over, saved what I wanted to a word document, but, meh. Just know, don't ever expect me to be as open as I once was here. A lot of things I write will be made private from here on out. VR is just going to get the smallest glimpses into my life from this point on.
I very rarely cut people completely out of my life. You have to do something pretty awful for me to reach that point. But, it happens. When I lose faith in a person, when I find I'm unable to trust a person like I may have once done, we're one step closer to me shutting them out completely. Trust is such a big thing with me, so when I can't trust a friend, why would I keep them in my life?
i cut out my best friend of 40 years because I came to the reality she was sabotaging our friendship every chance she could. Sometimes you have to let go of people who are not there for your best interest, that's when you really see their true colors.
I did the same of a friend of mine of 30 years who lied to me that he was married. I mean seriously, I would not have gotten mad at him if he had told me straight up he got married. In fact I would have congradulated him on it. Then two years later he contacts me and I ask if we could still be friends, he said no his wife would let him and so I'm thinking then "wtf did you contact me on FB then?" I told him to never speak to me again and I blocked his ass on FB and his number.
Can't seem to trust anyone these days.
It's a girl! I'm going to have a niece!
We went to the house and gave Lucas his birthday presents. He seemed to like the remote control cars I got him. He and Kevin will have lots of fun with those, I think. We also got to see the ultrasound pictures of my little niece. I'm so excited to have a little girl. Boys are fun and I love Lucas with all my heart, but girls, man. I think I'm so excited with the thought of buying pretty dresses and clothes and cute toys and such.
It's Lucas' third birthday tomorrow. I swear, where did the time go? My mother and I are going to stop by the house and drop his present off, then sit in the car and watch him open it. Because, you know, social distancing. It sucks, because I miss him and I want to just give him a big hug, but this is the world we currently live in. Tomorrow Liz and Kevin are also going to do a little gender reveal party on Zoom. They found out the gender yesterday. I'm so excited to find out if I'm going to have a new nephew or a niece. I'm really hoping for a girl, but that's because I want to buy the cute dresses and all that stuff. You don't get to do that with a boy. So, tomorrow should be fun.
Platonic cuddling while watching the Office, it's the best medicine.
I give people more chances than they rightly deserve. I'm willing to look past a lot of wrongdoing and give people the benefit of the doubt. My fault. Clearly that was stupid of me. But, trust when I say it won't happen again.
|World Visitor Map|