lordvampirio's Journal

lordvampirio's Journal


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9 entries this month

01:58 Oct 31 2006
Times Read: 717

Another profile jewel:

Gender: Female

Birthdate: 03/24/1419

".....I am 15 years old.....For my birthday, do the math! Should add up to 587 yrs old.

I am a little confused as to her age :s




16:10 Oct 25 2006
Times Read: 727

US scientists discovered that motherhood has an impact on the fertility of their daughters. To be more specific, the younger a woman is when she becomes a mother the more fertile her daughter(s) will be.

Now that would explain why the UK has the highest teenage birth rate in Western Europe and why their mothers are just about 30 ;)




04:07 Oct 25 2006
Times Read: 736

Before Game 3 of the World Series in St. Louis between the Cardinals and Detroit Tigers, a moderator for the British TV made the following hypothesis and survey. I am trying to quote as well as I can recall:

“Men like to daydream about good looking women such as Heidi Klum and Gisele Bundchen. Women are no different. They daydream about the Quarterback of the football team or the Chief Executive in the office. Men with Power.”

He then went on to randomly ask women in the ballpark if they would leave their husbands for Tony La Russo (= manager of the St. Louis Cardinals).

And would you believe it, half of the questioned women would actually leave their husbands.

What does that mean? A loving and caring marriage of let’s say 20 yrs means nothing if you could be with someone you have never talked to? Who has never done anything for you? Someone who doesn’t know your name? Someone who doesn’t love you?

So basically you just want someone who has money and power so you can spend his money all day long and pretend to be someone in society when all you are is a waste of space? Tough shit because if he is smart enough to smell the shite you are of then there will be pre-nups to prevent you from spending any of his money :p

All the women who said that they would leave their husbands for that are the lowest low life scum in my opinion. They are as shallow as can be and have no spine, personality or whatsoever. Evolution seems to have ignored some women who apparently still act upon instincts from the middle ages (= marriage for money instead of love!)

And if I had a wife who says that she would leave me for someone like that in front of national TV then she can be assured that the divorce would take it’s course after the game!!!!!

Mankind has to find a planet where we could dispose of these kind of women and earth would actually be a bearable place to live on.




18:27 Oct 23 2006
Times Read: 741

Rant #1

In the past few weeks I was reminded again why I usually do NOT give out my IM.

I try to use IM for proper conversations, which means talking back and forth in a timely manner. Recently I gave my IM to three people because I thought we could have decent and faster conversations on there. Well, holy bamboly did I think wrong. The response time of these people took up to more than 10 minutes because they were chatting to many others as well. Those are exactly the examples why I hate IM. It is not about having a decent conversation. It is about how many pointless conversations with random people you can have at the same time. Needless to mention that I am not bothering to talk to them anymore. Neither on IM nor anywhere else.

Ask yourself this: If you go out with friends and they say something to you would it take you 10 minutes to respond? Thought not! So show some fucking manners and more importantly respect if you converse on IM!!!!!

Rant #2

The skillful PC-doctors!!!!!

About 2 months ago my pc was brought down by appr. 12-13 trojan viruses which the fucking expensive McAffee products couldn’t prevent from doing their evil deed. Suckers!!!!!

My software to reinstall and configurate was faulty and my friends didn’t have Millenium Edition software anymore. So I needed the help of professionals.

They collected my tower, rang me and only told me then that they don’t have Millenium Edition either but the XP version would fit on my pc. I wasn’t too happy about it but I thought it’s ok if it fixes the problem.

They brought the pc back and money changed hands for a fixed pc. But that is where the problems started!!!!!

System Error messages appeared every minute and to get from one page to another took about an hour or so. If that wasn’t bad enough I must have caught a virus somewhere as well and the software that comes along with the XP version shut down the internet. No matter how hard I tried I would not be able to get back on.

Does that sound like a fixed pc?????

I called them to fix the yet to be fixed pc and told them that I want to have the fucking XP version nowhere near my pc.

Seeing that I have some software I couldn’t live without we had to go and downgrade my pc to windows98.

A couple of hours after they brought the pc back I noticed that they had forgotten to put Microsoft office on. So I had to call them again to fix my yet to be fixed pc.

Then the next problem started: Internet Explorer turned some words on websites into artificial hyperlinks. If you clicked on them a window would open and seconds later your operating system would shut down leaving you staring at your wallpaper. No desktop or task bar whatsoever. Hence you have to kick start the pc. If you ignored the artificial hyperlinks a window would pop up eventually and shut your operating system down as described above.

I installed Netscape, which fixed that issue but wouldn’t let me see certain features online (scroll boxes, backgrounds etc). So I installed FireFox but the result was pretty much the same.

I got my pc doctor back at my place and he tried to fix it for hours but couldn’t solve the problem. A few days later we learned that IE in combination with windows98 will shut down on websites if it considers them to be a security risk.

My only option was to put windows2000 on and the pc doctors fixed the pc that has yet to be fixed.

When they brought it back it worked fine….. for about an hour.

Let’s see. Excel is not working properly and not at all on occasions. Every minute I get a System Error message and no matter how often I run Registry Cleaner it won’t go away. AVG is producing 25 Virus threat messages in 5 minutes which are comeplete bullshit. If I heal the fake viruses but do not restart my it will become appr. 6 times slower. If I heal and restart the pc AVG will just start the game all over again. If I choose to ignore the messages my pc will slow down. Only after appr. 4 hrs will AVG get tired of sending me these messages.

And now we get to the funny part. Well it would be if it wasn’t so sad lol The pc doctors feel that any other changes on my pc incur a further charge. Well, I would say that I do NOT have a fixed pc yet for which I have already paid unless they consider creating new errors to be a fix! My calculated loss of income is over £1,000 since they are trying to fix my pc. Do they really want to charge me again? I bet none of them would be able to put up with my pc for an hour. I’d say they either get it fixed now or they should give me my money back and try someone else who just has to have more knowledge than them!!!!!




17:08 Oct 15 2006
Times Read: 768

Now this is what happens when you have too much time on your hand and a tiny weener in your hand ;)


Oct 15 2006 - 10:22:22

sent me a stupid question. Something like “I want to talk to the vampire Rave on here if she exists.” But I can only guess because the sentence was full of grammatical mistakes as well as spelling mistakes.

Since he got no response he created another account


Oct 15 2006 - 10:36:52

sending an attempt of an insult. But again, the sentence of 6 words produced just as many grammatical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes.



Oct 15 2006 - 10:50:40

Account number 3 got blocked just as fast as it was created and before it could send a message lol


Oct 15 2006 - 11:07:35

Account number 4 within 45 minutes got blocked just as quickly as account number 3 and again wasn't even able to send me a message lol

The questions now are:

1) Does this public display of a sad and pathetic life as a wanker continue?


2) Does he realize that I am too smart for him


3) Did he finally realize that no matter how much he's gonna shake, nothing will ever come out of it? ;)




19:20 Oct 14 2006
Times Read: 782

I found this comment from a girl

wow your sooo fucken cute damn are you gay?

on this profile of a young woman

.....I have a beautiful little boy named Bradley and a wonderful fiance named Richard.....

Well, having a child might indicate that the person isn't entirely gay but being engaged to a man is quite a strong hint that she is not gay!!!!!

Do stupid questions really not exist?????




17:08 Oct 11 2006
Times Read: 798

And here we have another pretty example of confusing contradiction. I found that on a profile:

im about 5'5". thin and slender. im about 130lbs...and im alll muscle baby.

Well, what are you now, thin and slender or all muscles?

To me the height/weight relation sounds perfectly normal, not thin and slender!




Charvettes on VR

16:05 Oct 03 2006
Times Read: 831

Why is it always that the mentally least gifted people challenge me to a battle of wits?

The conversation occurred last night. Luckily she was no challenge so I could leave 95% of my brain with the Packers at Eagles game and only had to sacrifice 5% to keep her revelation of complete dumbness going.

Since I have recently gone into tournament chess again I will annotate the conversation like I would with a chess game ;)

Enjoy ;)

On 03:28:46 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

BTW, take a peek at my profile, I've completely updated & transformed it...No, I dont expect a new rate, just take a peek, you were the insperation to update again ;) lmao

On 03:47:31 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:


call me ignorant but where did i inspire you to change it to?

On 03:49:01 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Well you said you never rate 10's, nothings perfect etc ;)

LV Edit: So, when I give her a 9, telling her that she won’t get a 10 because I don’t believe in perfection, I inspire her to redo her profile? How much sense does that actually make? Other than that it seems I am already controlling her actions ;)

On 03:51:18 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

ah ok, i thought you wanted to point me to a certain part of your profile

On 03:53:17 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Noper ;p

On 03:56:09 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

fair enough. so the inspiration was to change it?

On 03:57:57 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Yes...You were being an ass ;) & saying you dont rate 10's etc, so I thought I'd make it as perfect as I could. I spent 18 hours doing it today lmao

LV Edit: The unprovoked name calling starts!!!!!

And 18 hrs for a profile update I could have done in about 2 hrs? WOW!!!!!

On 04:02:50 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

are we close enough friends to be called ass?

On 04:08:14 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

......lol. Tell me something, apparently the pictures on my profile are over lapping, & the writing is not glowing for some. On my end its perfect, everything is in place & the writing is glowing

LV Edit: No excuse for the name calling and she ignored the question altogether. Where are the manners?????

On 04:13:26 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

my philosphy is that i do things for myself and not for, or to please others.

what i am saying is that if i like it then i like it and do not care what others say or think.

On 04:17:30 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Good for you. I was being nice, no need to be pissy pants. Baiz.

LV Edit: She calls that nice? Small wonder that she has to spend 18 lonely hours with a profile instead of spending it with real people ;)

On 04:24:24 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

ok, first off there was no pissy pants part in my last response because it was only a general statement, meaning (apparently i have to simplify it for you) that you should be happy with it when you like it and not care about what others say about it.

as for the being nice part, i quote you: " You were being an ass" to which i responded with a question whether we are close enough friends to be called ass and you didnt even answer the question.

so much for the impressions of the day

On 04:29:10 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Apparently you have to simplify it for me huh...Yes apparently you do, now, leave me be I've had enough of you looking down you're nose at me like you're something better, people like you can kiss my ass...Bye.

LV Edit: She is showing the first symptoms of weakness as I am getting to her :D In a chess game I would know now that the game is won.

On 04:34:06 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

haha remember that it was always you who contacted me, not the other way round? but it looks like i have finally succeeded in keeping my inbox clear of messages from you :)

PS I do not kiss taken girls, no matter how much they'd like it ;)

On 04:56:20 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

I contacted you yes, & I was being nice. And I'd rather fuck a gorilla than let you're unworthy mouth near my ass.

LV Edit: Sarcasm is a skill only a few have mastered and even fewer can understand ;)

Not only do I reckon that even gorillas have some sort of high standards, fucking one appears to be sick to me

On 04:58:06 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

I quote you again: "you can kiss my ass."

If you talk to me give me at leats an intellectual challenge. you contradict yourself.

On 05:03:34 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

For a start "kiss my ass" basically means you can fuck off & rot in hell for all I give a shite.


"If you talk to me give me at leats an intellectual challenge. you contradict yourself."

Figured out what is wrong with that sentence yet? You illiterate little maggot? I think you'll find its spelt ''least''

So before saying I'm not an intellectual challenge to you, learn to fucking spell.

PS. Kiss my ass.

LV Edit: While she is attempting to lecture me she actually makes a terrible grammatical mistake. I quote her: “I think you’ll find its spelt…” According to my knowledge there is a difference between “its” and “it’s”. How embarrassing is this????? *coughs coughs* illiterate little maggot, eh? *coughs coughs*

On 05:07:36 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

haha you intellectual super kid, at leats would be a "typo", not a spelling mistake. do i need to explain the difference?

On 05:11:30 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Oh you're so smart, at you're age I thought you'd know were to put capital letters & punctuation, but being the illiterate retard that you are...

Typo my ass, any excuse

LV Edit: She is running out of ammunition. This is going to be a fast kill ;)

On 05:15:49 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

that would be more a matter of convenience.

btw, shouldnt you be in bed at your age?

nou, en toen je bek zelfs groter is dan je kont spreek je zeker meer talen dan maar slechts engels, toch?

how many languages do you speak btw?

LV Edit: I will get to the translation of that sentence in a moment because that is where she showed her true intellectual capability :D

On 05:17:57 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

Bed at my age, naw. I'm old enough to do what I please.

Shouldnt it be you thats in bed by now old man? Thought you'd be drooling all over yourself at this time of night & pissing the bed :)

LV Edit: ROTFLMAO and this is coming from a highly obese post-teenager who, according to recent studies in the UK won’t even make it to my age due to a premature death caused by some health defect?

On 05:22:11 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

your feeble attempts of insulting me amuse me however, im sure that you are turned on by it or why else would you come back to me over and over ;)

LV Edit: I am 100% convinced that she was using this sort of conversation to get some sexual satisfaction out of it. I bet she was busy rubbing off ;)

On 05:28:21 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

LMAO, oh please don't flatter yourself, you're embarrassing yourself. I have never backed down from an argument & I wont start now either. & I dont block either, shows cowardism. But feel free to block me, its an easy win :)

& dont pretend to be able to speak Dutch...

now, and then you snap is speak even larger then your rear you certainly more scores just only angels, yet

The hell is that mumble jumble

LV Edit: Now this is my favourite part of the conversation. It took her 13 minutes to run the Dutch sentence through a translation programme on the internet, which translates word by word. Now, an intelligent person would know that foreign languages might have a different grammar and sentence structure than the English language.

The sentence actually means “Well, surely you speak more than only one language since your mouth is even bigger than your ass, don’t you?”

On 05:33:53 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

oh darling, you should use a better software or programme to translate that dutch piece because I actually am dutch ;)

ou veux-tu parler francais?

you are the best comedian I have ever come across.

I dont back down from an argument either but i actually prefer a challenge. this is a bit too easy for me

On 05:35:37 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:

It's so sad when you cant admit defeat, illiterate, bad loser, a moron, maggot, retard...Dont have much going for you, do you?

LV Edit: I see a MATE in 1, seeing that she has no more defense left ;)

If you claim that you know someone’s nationality better than oneself then you have reached rock bottom. That is why she has to resort to dishing out compliments now as it would only leave English as optional nationality for me, which in fact is complementing my English throughout the entire conversation.

Sorry, but an English person should be able to figure out who is English and who isn’t, even online.

On 05:40:16 Oct 03 2006 lordvampirio wrote:

you know that i am right and that is why you have to resort to your charver roots and call me names.

now why am i not surprised that i had to deal with the british social low life all along?

On 05:43:16 Oct 03 2006 GR wrote:


LV Edit: Opponent resigns by moving into a forced mate.

She has nothing more coming for her and I could go to bed since the Packers at Eagles game had just finished as well :D




00:16 Oct 02 2006
Times Read: 844

Now here is an example of what exactly I do NOT want to find in my inbox:



Oct 01 2006


Block User



Move to Saved

Email to Self

Can I ask why you rated me a 9 when I rated you a 10 originally, when I put more time & effort into my profile...?

so I guess I had to

1) refresh her memory

2) point out the inconsistency of her rating pattern

3) express my opinion on rating

right, as xxxxx i rated you a 9 then you rated me a 10, a week later a 6, then back to a 10 and now a 5 as xxxxx. 4 different ratings for the same profile?????

doesnt, or didnt your profile say rate as you would like to be rated? and i never even got a 9 from you lol

i do not give a 10 just because i get a 10 and i dont understand how anyone can whine about a 9, that is still a good rating. unless of course you assume that your profile is perfect and there is no more room for improvement ;)

and now lets see how many more different ratings i will get ;)

Gosh, how I love the people that are on here for 10's and even insist on getting them :D



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