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5 entries this month

 

Crying..... on the inside.

03:15 Dec 12 2006
Times Read: 645


today i pissed someone off....someone who liked me ( i don't know how he feels now) he blocked me and won't talk to me... I liked the guy.... but there's some things i couldn't get over.... He lives far away.... he's older than me.... and we just started talking.... he was a nice guy.... made me feel better about myself, and now he's mad at me.... For some reason or another i always tend to FUCK things up for me.... God, i'm irratated and depressed at the same time. I know i won't sleep good tonight.... it's going to eat at me.... All i want to know is, what did i do wrong?





adding more now that i've calmed down....I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING DOWN A NEVER ENDING HOLE!!!!! maybe i haven't calmed down yet...hold on.


COMMENTS

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Astrological Chart

01:21 Dec 10 2006
Times Read: 647


For those interested in astrology, here is my astrological chart.





Sun in Sagittarius

Honest, open and candid, you are always out-going and frank, and allow your thoughts be directed toward the future in faith of a good outcome. On the move, you are a traveler of both the world and the mind - theory, philosophy and the larger purposes in life attract you. You prefer grand themes and big gestures - the large canvas and the big brush. The exploratory drive is very strong in you and you are always shooting for a mark beyond yourself. New possibilities excite you, therefore you are very good at sizing up the current situation and seeing how it can be maximised rather than resisted. By aliging your life activity with something bigger than yourself - some cause or concept - you transform ordinary humdrum existence into something nearer the ideal. Sagittarius is nothing if not direct, candid and to the point, for this sign is always concerned with the absolute truth of the subject at hand. Associated with philosophy, outreach and all things boundless, Sagittarian energy is always welcome in politics as well as social and community endeavors where its basic fairness and expansiveness is helpful.



Sun Trine Jupiter

Generosity of spirit. Outlook is mainly philosophical, optimistic and content. Indicative of ease of effort, but may also be too complacent. A visionary nature with high ideals. Excels in publishing and consciousness-raising work of all kinds. Knows above all that we are here to learn. Person functions from a sense of abundance and therefore satisfies hopes easily. Good intuition and humor.



Sun Trine Moon

Able to grow and progress throughout life without major emotional difficulties. Yin (male) and yang (female) energy flows easily. Resources are at hand, as are the necessary instruction on how to use them. There is an inner sincerity and naturalness that does not resist life, but looks for the truth of life as it is. A special gift for spanning generation gaps; bringing older and younger spirits together. Easily gains the respect of others.



Moon in Leo

You are gregarious, even to the point of bringing out the performer in others. You somehow always manage to find a creative environment or the creative in any environment. Great with kids, you are yourself a big kid at heart. Emotional warmth and self-expression come naturally, but you must guard against the tendency to attention-seeking behaviour. You are happiest in situations which allow you to exercise your playfulness and originality.



Moon Square Pluto

Deep soul searching. Manages to get to the searing truth of the situation. Penetrating psychological analyses are your strength. Can be perceived as so intense that presence in a group has a very decided effect. Others may feel that nothing is a secret from you. Political influence. Emotionally suspicious and has compulsions which are often swayed by cravings and desires. There is a marked tendency to re-make or re-mold oneself every so often.



Moon Trine Venus

Personal charm and popularity. A natural talent in and appreciation of aesthetics. Works easily with music and the arts. A fine appreciation of female energy; excellent raport with women. Affectionate and caring when it comes to relationships, can charm a prospective mate with ease. Attracts material benefits and prosperity.



Moon Sesquiquadrate Mercury

Speaks from the heart and feelings color reason. Mental processes are very open to the environment, so makes for strong perceptions and a creative imagination. There is a strong connection with 'the public' and takes an active interest in psychology and cultural studies. Gains support when it comes to writing, speaking and teaching. Women especially tend to be very communicative. Restless. Good memory and strong powers of recall.



Moon Conjunct Jupiter

Emotional buoyancy and growth. There is great optimism and an ability to bounce back easily from negative experiences. Gains favours and the trust of others very easily, as it is seen as genuinely giving. Enjoys helping others solve their problems and giving them a new perspective. Ability to counsel others is excellent and is often sought out for advice. There is a strong desire for both closeness and freedom, and a pronounced affinity for getting into the philosophical grounds of things. Prefers moving forward to maintaining the status quo.



Moon Sesquiquadrate Uranus

Independence above all. Very much involved with all that is non-traditional and revolutionary, especially when it comes to the domestic scene and ideas of home and family. Original, different and unpredictable when it comes to emotional reactions. The approach to feelings, moods and the whole psychological gambit is novel. Tends to show emotions suddenly or in unusual ways. Prefers being unconventional and nonconformist. Gets pleasure out of engaging in forbidden or unauthorized behaviour.



Mercury in Capricorn

You have a very clear and analytical mind and are able to grasp ideas and put them to work at once. You have good management and supervisory ability. You use cold reason, are not much moved by emotions, and are always pragmatic. You prefer concrete subjects to "grand ideas" and flights of fancy. Manipulative too.



Mercury Conjunct Uranus

You do a lot to fulfill the popular stereotype of the "genius," so obviously brilliant are some of the things you think and say. You have such an outpouring of insights that having a conversation with you can be a real experience. Your mind works like lightning. Words and thoughts sort of shoot out, illuminating whatever subject is at hand. You really do have very different ideas and ways of expressing them. There may also be a sustained interest in communication, computers, electronics, and all that is electrical.



Mercury Semisquare Pluto

Anyone who tries to get you to play with words is in for a big surprise. Your mind cuts right through all the window dressing and gets right down to the quick. Before anyone knows it, you have the heart of the matter out front for everyone to see. You would make a great investigator, either in scientific research or undercover work. It makes no difference. Your ability to get to the point is all but phenomenal. You can talk and put into words areas of the psychological that others wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.



Venus in Sagittarius

Not prudish, you insist on freedom of expression in all things. You love great ideas and travel. This makes you well-suited to international business and anything having to do with acquiring a broader understanding - higher education and the like. An idealist of the first degree, you are honest and frank, preferring the truth to any brand of flattery. Risky ventures will appeal.



Mars in Gemini

You have an inner need for communication of all kinds and may have too many irons in the fire at times. You can be all over the place, always trying to make one more connection. Speaking and writing are natural interests. You have a need for lots of variety and change of pace. High mental energy produces arguments.



Jupiter in Leo

You would love a career that is creative and expressive, for you were born warm and gregarious. Exuberant, you have an inner need to express feelings and opinions to others. You can be a bit self-centered and are driven to leadership positions by your own keen sense of inner worth. Attract luck into your life through being confident and original. Give out generously of time and resources - it all comes back to you tenfold!



Jupiter Square Pluto

A career in psychology, areas of the mind and self that are vulnerable and sensitive, is indicated. You not only like change and transforming experiences, you pursue them for their own sake. You head straight for whatever challenges your sense of identity and puts you through changes. This life path could also carry you into subjects like reincarnation, psychic experiences, and all that is occult or hidden from common view. You plunge right in, dig through the whole mess, and leave not a secret unturned. Yours is a career deep in change, transformation, and metamorphosis.



Saturn in Capricorn

You have a tendency to avoid taking charge or responsibility and may need to accept a more disciplined and serious approach to life. Learn to enjoy hard work. Persevere. Learn how to manage. You may feel uncomfortable when in the public eye or may have a problem with 'authority'. The solution here is to become an authority yourself.



Saturn Sextile Pluto

When it comes to psychology you have great penetration, and always understand how to get down to the core material. You enjoy working with sensitive and vulnerable areas of the mind, searching out and defining points of transformation, areas for growth. You could teach and instruct others in these areas. You aren't afraid to get into the most sticky situations, and you always come up with the essence of the matter at hand.



Uranus in Capricorn

You are innovative in the political and business arena. You find new ways to manage and control things and people. Ever practical, you come up with new or alternate forms of management -- breakthroughs in top-level management and corporate styles. You bring new life to conservative traditions.



Uranus Conjunct Neptune

You have real vision and insight into the unity that ties this world together. Your brilliant imagination and enchanting manner transport all who meet you beyond the mundane and into the extraordinary regions where you spend a lot of your time. You are a seer, in the true sense of the word, and possess a waking experience of that part of us that is mystical and dreamlike. You find new ways to bring people together, to unify situations. Unusual music.



Neptune in Capricorn

The practical is the ideal. Form follows function. You have a dream of being in control - the puppetmaster. You are very interested in tradition and tend to be dignified and conservative. You believe in an orderly society led by benevolent monarchs - those who can see what to do.



Neptune Sextile Pluto

You work with real imagination and understanding in areas of the mind that are the most personal or private -- depth psychology. You are like a midwife of the spirit, assisting at the birth of each individual going through a spiritual or re-birth process. You accept the natural process of birth, spiritual and physical, and have dedicated yourself to helping it along. You would make a great teacher in these areas.



Pluto in Scorpio

You tear through appearances in an effort to get beneath, behind, and at the heart or essence. You may find psychology, initiation, mysticism and the occult of great interest. Intense personal change and inner growth are lifelong habits.



Leo on the 1st House Cusp

Leo energy is expressive, vital and exuberant. Often very artistic, and always theatrical and dramatic, this is the sign of creativity and the arts. Warm and big-hearted, Leo lives in full appreciation and celebration of the finer elements of life, bringing a dynamism and enthusiasm to everything it touches. This is the fearless 'becoming' stage, where things are done for their own sake, playfully and with pleasure.



Moon in the 1st House

You always manage to end up in the limelight, with the support of those around you. You get a lot of mileage out of your appearance and the way you carry yourself and communicate to others. You could make your living from the public.



Virgo on the 2nd House Cusp

Virgo energy is analytical and precise, always separating out what is worthwhile and worth supporting from that which is outmoded and of no further use. A mental earth sign, here the mind takes control over matter. This is the sign of 'ways and means', implementation, instrumentation, physical effectiveness and efficiency. Virgo energy is always facilitating, often caring more for others than for itself.



Libra on the 3rd House Cusp

Libra energy is always responsive and conciliating, assuming the appropriate reaction or delicately-weighted strategic response to any question or statement. What is sometimes seen as two-faced is only Libra's facility at responding to each in kind, giving both sides equal consideration. This is certainly the social sign, par excellence. Impersonal and impartial, this sign doles out only what is demanded - nothing overdone, but nothing neglected.



Scorpio on the 4th House Cusp

Scorpio is intense, passionate, and very personal. It rushes past superficialities and right to the heart of any matter. A loyal friend but a fanatic foe, this sign does well in politics and all areas where someone who dares is rewarded. Associated with sexual energy, Scorpio loves to get involved, going down deeper, coming up dirtier, and laying bare anything that lies hidden there.



Sun in the 4th House

Home, family, and security are important to you. You love to send out roots and build a home base. Sensitive and somewhat private, you tend to be a very feeling (and sometimes vulnerable) person. You sense things and have a good feel for business.



Pluto in the 4th House

You may go through a lot of changes that affect your sense of security. Your home and family situation could be a focus for growth and real learning -- an area of great sensitivity and vulnerability.



Sagittarius on the 5th House Cusp

Sagittarius is nothing if not direct, candid, and to the point, for this sign is always concerned with the absolute truth of the subject at hand. Associated with philosophy, outreach and all things boundless, Sagittarian energy is always welcome in politics as well as social and community endeavors where its basic fairness and expansiveness is helpful.



Mercury in the 5th House

You can express feelings and put emotions into words. This could give you a flair for the dramatic, public speaking, poetry, and the arts. You are proud of your mind and enjoy using it, solving puzzles -- any creative mental outlet.



Venus in the 5th House

You probably love the theater and all that is creative, expressive, and artsy. You appreciate the dramatic, and emotional scenes are a sign of life to you. You love action, sports, and putting your heart and feelings on the line.



Uranus in the 5th House

You are unconventional when it comes to self-expression and enjoyment. You find new and different ways to get it out -- possibly sports, the creative arts, and such. Always independent when it comes to emotions, you don't mind feeling a little different. You are innovative when it comes to self-analysis and self-care -- food, diet, health, and so on. You can see new ways to make use of the status quo. An unconventional approach to working for/with others may require a special work situation for you.



Neptune in the 5th House

You have great creative imagination, perhaps a strong sense for the dramatic and the ability to express ideas of a mystical or other-worldly flavor. Entertaining children (and adults) with enchanting stories and the like is indicated.



Capricorn on the 6th House Cusp

Capricorn is the business head of the zodiac, for it is the very opposite of the emotional Cancer. Given to clear ambition and practical insight and vision, this sign always takes a distanced perspective and a cool appraisal. Deliberate and painstaking, sometimes to the point of austerity, Capricorn loves work and the hard-earned results. Status and material reward are very important.



Saturn in the 6th House

Your critical faculties are very keen, and once you turn your analytical light on, you tend to be relentless in your appraisal. This could make working with others difficult because they find you too scrutinizing. But they also know they can rely on you to carry the heaviest load.



Aquarius on the 7th House Cusp

Aquarius, the sign of humanitarian goals and altruism. Always impartial and nonsectarian, Aquarian energy is communal (even global). The focus is on the goal, and the goal is always one that is for the many and not the few. Thus this sign is connected to far-seeing visions, world views and group work of all kinds. This sign tends towards coolness, independence.



Pisces on the 8th House Cusp

Pisces energy runs deep and toward the mystical -- whatever transcends the everyday world. This sign is understanding, patient and compassionate. Super-sensitive, it tends to absorb it's surroundings like a sponge. The sign is very trusting, accepting and giving of itself for the sake of more important issues. It loves free-ranging activities which allow for some imaginative scope.



Aries on the 9th House Cusp

Aries is the sign of pioneers, leaders and 'firsts'. It is impulsive, assertive and spontaneous. It tends to act first, only thinking about what it may have done later. Rushing in where others fear to tread, Aries energy is attention-getting and always provokes a response from the surroundings and from others. It takes decisive action and loves self-reliance.



Taurus on the 10th House Cusp

Taurus is about drawing on the bounty of the earth, and seeking material security and physical safety there. It is the on-going, enduring, unchanging and preserving element. Hightened sensory input is also important, for it is the mission of this sign to not only find a sense of place within the material realm, but to enjoy it to the fullest, becoming physically aware of, and bonding with the environment.



Mars in the 10th House

You are driven to manage and control things. An urge to organize and be practical amounts to a minor obsession. Your career motivation is constant and relentless.



Gemini on the 11th House Cusp

Gemini is concerned with connections, communication and logic -- voice, thoughts, writing, and rational mental processes in general. It is also concerned with making comparisons, 'twins' and duplications of all kinds. Gemini is the communicator, the gossip of the zodiac, the collector of trivia. Gemini energy is unattached, independent, very inquisitive and changable.



Cancer on the 12th House Cusp

Cancer is the mother of the zodiac, always making a home, protecting and providing a foundation for others. A sensitive sign where feelings and real experience count more than cold logic, it doesn't get any more physical and emotional than this. Cancer energy is always nurturing, sensitive, tender and moody. It feeds on emotional comforts, and often has a strong attachment to the past and ancestry.



Jupiter in the 12th House

You could excel in a career that involves understanding and self-sacrifice. Psychology, counseling -- guiding others to be forgiving and accepting -- may be a special skill that you have. Work with mental patients, prison inmates, and the like is possibl e.


COMMENTS

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Quizzes

22:47 Dec 09 2006
Times Read: 655


Bondage

100%

Biting

100%

Chains/Handcuffs

100%

Blood

83%

Blind Folds

67%

Whips

67%


What's Your Kinky Turn On?

created with QuizFarm.com





You scored as Biting. When it comes to being kinky, your biggest turn on is biting. You love the ectasy of teeth sinking into your flesh, and are probably willing to return the favor. Sex just isn't sex without using your teeth.



DisorderRating
Paranoid Disorder:Very High
Schizoid Disorder:High
Schizotypal Disorder:Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:High
Borderline Disorder:Very High
Histrionic Disorder:High
Narcissistic Disorder:High
Avoidant Disorder:Very High
Dependent Disorder:Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Moderate

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --









COMMENTS

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IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

13:14 Dec 06 2006
Times Read: 663


Today is my birthday. I'm 16. It's weird really. My mom's b-day is december 4, mine's december 6, and my little sister's is december 8. Isn't that some shit? Stuff like that doesn't happen everyday!


COMMENTS

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Blah, blah, blah.....

19:46 Dec 05 2006
Times Read: 667


Yesterday I joined this web site to find people to talk too.... AND I HAVE!!! I wanted to talk to people who I felt would understand me...

and I'm having fun. Tomorrow is my 16th b-day and I'm happy about it....I guess. Though I know I shouldn't count on my dad to remember it... He never does... of course, he's never remembers his own b-day... more about me later.


COMMENTS

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