BrokenChild's Journal


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7 entries this month

Confused thoughts...

01:35 Apr 23 2005
Times Read: 604

I am torn and broken

But no one really cares

All of those that cared for me

Were never really there...

I'm filled with love and filled with hate

I never know quite what to say

If I continue at this rate

I know where I will surely stay...

I've fallen again

And again I will fall

And with me I

Will bring you all...

I do not know what I am saying

But every now seems like a lie

I do not care what others think

But right now I would like to die...

I'm lost and confused

I doubt I make sense

But the grass is always greener

On the other side of the fence...

I'm Lost and I'm Broken

I'm Hidden. as well

And all of my names

This surely will tell...





01:50 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 609

Who am I now?

I lay here dying.

What to do now?

I'm almost crying.

I know who I've been

But who will I be?

The answer will come

Just wait and you'll see.

My thoughts just rage on.

I wish you were here.

For when you're around

There's nothing to fear.

If you left for good

Don't know what I'd do.

All that my world is

Consists just of you

Secrets to be shared

Of new and of old.

But if you did know

My heart'd still be cold.

Frozen in time

My life seems to be.

If you knew my life

Would you, too, dear, flee?

Just give me some time

But don't wait too long.

For life is so short and

I'll feel it is wrong.

To burden one's life

The pressure too great

Unless it so happens

We're together by fate.

My love I do send

To those who may care.

I'll be here if needed

And I hope you'll be there.

For if the day comes

And my time is at end

I hope you will be there

My dear and true friend.




The Unspoken Reality...

01:46 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 610

The face was covered with shadow

Who it was I all ready knew

From now until the end of time

That voice will belong to you

My hatred then began to grow

I felt I would be ill

The thought of you right here with me

I knew I had to kill

That horrid grin upon your face

It made me want to wretch

You chose right then to speak your words

My breath then chose to catch

"What has happened is now behind"

Your icy voice did say

The words were not meant for my ears

But the one across the way

My best friend is to whom you spoke

And until this day I swear

That look that crossed my allies face

Showed he would never care

"The past is the truth to who you are

And it can never change"

Those bold words fell from his crimson lips

And in your eyes I saw rage

Your voice, it never wavered

As you just stared him down

But he just chose to smile at you

And then you chose to frown

What happened next was all a blur

All I know is you lost

You chose to make a small mistake

And with that comes a cost

Your neck was grasped between his hands

Your life slowly slipped away

And then the ties within my friend

They all began to fray

His shoulders then began to shake

And then he went deathly still

The laughter erupted from his soul

It was so loud and shrill

I slunk back into the shadows

The shadows from which I came

I left him to fall into his mind

I've completed my twisted game





01:36 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 611

Hidden behind the mask,

A bright and happy face,

Lies a face of sorrow,

Of pain and deep disgrace.

Those around have naught to fear

For this mask hides it all.

But pain and despair will reign

If this mask is to fall.

The job was so simple

Just one life to take

The time the mask slipped

Thank god for his sake.

Those emerald eyes flashed deep, dark green

The fear was all shown beneath.

The assassin fled in deep despair

When he saw all that hidden grief.

That silvery blade slid sharp and smooth

The action one could not retake

The arm was sliced from left to right

And red blood ran, not nearly fake.

The killer returned that night

And saw the blood at the beauty’s feet

He stared in horror, too shocked to move.

Then, up to the body he did creep.

In a voice soft as an angel’s

The assassin then did speak.

“Hold on, now. Its not your turn to go

Suicide is for the weak.”

The green-eyed beauty gazed up at him

Though pain did fill his eyes.

The words the killed said to him

Had cut him down to size.

“Suicide is not the way

But it is all I had.”

His voice was fading, dark and grim,

Thought it was all but sad.

“Death comes with life, that is its gift

That we all must accept and learn.”

His green eyes closed, to look again

Upon a face he did not earn.

“Hush now, child. Don’t waste your voice”

The black-haired man then did say.

“Relax, for all things will be fine

If you understand then nod, okay?”

The green-eyed man lying on the floor

His head nodded just a tad

For as he looked at the man above

He knew it was not his dad.

The black surrounded his every bone

The man above did weep

For the beautiful man, lying on the floor

Was not his alone to keep.

He lay the man upon the floor

And then rose to his feet.

Stealing one last glance at the man, now gone

He turned and then did retreat.




Lost love...

01:31 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 612

I'm transfering some of my other poems here from one of my other sites... These poems are kind of old so be sure to brush the dust off befor you read them...

Lost love

Is being lost and alone so bad?

Or does it just make you sad?

To know that I am on my own,

And you, too now, are all alone.

Though you miss me

You have "his" arms to run to.

Will you come running back?

And it just be me and you?

Life is always full of pain.

Or is my life just lived in vane?

Tell me now before I'm gone

For I'm not sure I'll last to long.

Goodbye my friend

We've been through it all.

I'll see you in the end

When you, too, fall.

Though sadness will come

It too soon will pass

So do heed my words,

They may be my last.

It may not seem fair

But nothing in life ever is.

As our chapter is now closed

And is the start of yours and his.





01:27 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 613

I feel really pathetic putting this up here but I will anyway... I ran across this poem... It is one that I wrote in my freshman year... Uhg... Anyway, tell me what you think...


The fire now surrounds me,

Consuming all in its path.

You'd think it'd all be over,

The fire, done unleashing its wrath.

But, woe, I can't say that is true

As the wall burn to sinders and ash.

For the building erected around me

Will soon and most certainly crash.

Down upon the ground it will go

In an ugly and blackened old heap.

But me, when the house does fall down

No, I can not say I will keep.

Death isn't truly the way

And deep in my heart this is true

But feeling this pain in my heart,

It was all that I thought I could do.

This feeling then started to grow

It started from deep, deep inside.

There was only one thing it could be

And that was, it had to be pride.

As I stepped from the house and onto the street

I saw a spectacular sight

The walls of the house just fell to the ground

Like a man who had just lost a fight.

Watching the smoldering ashes

Some which still burned bright, bright red

Something then did occur to me

Right up in this now twisted head.

"If walls are small barriers,

What is the need?"

And then to the world,

"My warning do heed."

"For into the night

Will descend a great craze

And all in the world

Now, will be set ablaze."

The world did not heed

The warning I gave

For think if one had

The lives they would save

Now all is consumed

And no life will be spared

But none would have passed

If but one had dared.

To save those in danger

You surely should do

For in the next house

It just might be you.

As I now pass on

This tale of the past

Remember above all

The smoldering red ash.




Learning who I am...

01:12 Apr 18 2005
Times Read: 616

I turn my head and smile

I know I will be here a for while

I hide behind all of my lies

So that only I will have to cry

The only time I forget my pain

Is when I'm standing in the rain

The rain covers up all my tears

That I have hidden all these years

I cry for the Past

I cry for the Present

I cry for the Future, too

There is one more thing that I cry for

Something much worse than the rest

I cry for the things that can never be

Those little things that could set me free

As I stand in the rain

I pray to a god

It doesn't matter which one

The prayer is always the same

I pray for the life that can never be mine

I pray that everything in my life will be fine

I pray I will find the ones that I lost

And I really don't care how much it will cost

I'm writing this now

Without altering my words

Only two will understand

What I mean by this poem

My writing's not great

But it does the trick

It takes me away from this world

To the one place that I am free

I wish I could rhyme

But I know that I can't

I should keep on trying

But I know that I shan't

Goodbye is for now

And I know I may not be back

I will remain broken forever

For the qualities I lack.

Part of this poem is form a story that I wrote that I will transfer here. One of you know what I am talking about and soon the rest of you shall too... This is the first poem that I wrote here that I didn't alter at all so I hope it is alright... BC~~~



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