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In death would I
00:36 Nov 13 2005
Times Read: 681

In death would I?

In death would i be happier?

Would the pain be erased?

Would darkness embrace me?

Would time have no meaning?

An escape from the pain,

confusion,

hate,

anger,

love,

lust,

sadness,

and being alone...

To Let the darkness bind me and return to its arms.

To leave the fear behind me.

To dance this dance no more,

play this empty role,

to live no longer,

to cease to exist,

to be the person that all others want,

no never,

in death forever being who I am,

the reject,

the loser,

the lost cause,

the embaresment,

the slut,

the whore,

the fuck up,

the disapointment,

the neglected,

stronger by such words,

more then that I rember being called,

I cling to that little string of hope as its

quickly snatched away...all I want is peace and everlasting.

they say that it beats the alternative....but how do they know, they have not experianced that alternative the other side they have not embraced death they have no idea whats on the other side,

I have embraced death,

it could take me now,

no many would care.

And even then they would go on living.

I have felt deaths embrace twice,

once by my own hands,

drowning myslf in a lake..(damn assholes and mouth to mouth)

and once by anothers hand, (car accident)

only by that fleeting moment of calm was i truely at peace....

In death I was happy and in death I should have remained,

Unable to screw up the lives of others that think they love me.

They can not love me, I have no Idea "Who I am"

and even then they love in vain...

'You can not love another if you do not love yourself"

so For once it will not be "I" that cries in vain,

But it is i that SCREAMS in pain.....

rather
00:29 Nov 13 2005
Times Read: 683

--Rather--



How could you?

My love you had,

Still you needed more,

So did you find what you

needed in her embrace?

I guess not...

You come Crawling back to me...

Promising me such beautiful lies...

SILENCE....

How dare you think...

I would place my heart...

In your hands again...

I'd rather slice off my head,

And give it to the one you so desired...

Ivy-chan 02

Broken Promises
00:29 Nov 13 2005
Times Read: 684

You promised you wouldn't leave me,

You promised you would always be there,

Even as you spoke that promise you broke it,

Your thoughts turned you decided to go,

You left me once again,

and once again...

I screamed my pain into the night,

My tears silently roll down my face,

Once agian you are leaving me behind...

While you go and enjoy life,

While I must stand here and wait impatiently,

waiting for my wings to grow...

So I may leave this rancid cage...

Escape this heartache,

And to complete my desires.

The I will soar above this world,

It will be my turn to leave you...

Just as you left me...



Ivy-Chan 10-13-05

Love from afar
00:28 Nov 13 2005
Times Read: 685

Love from Afar



From afar...Love looks sometimes...

Sweet and beautiful...

But when you finally see it closer,

It becomes tainted and ugly,

It rips and tears Lovers hearts,

From their bodie and crushes it,

between its gaping teeth,

Devouring all and any in its path,

but a few escape loves wrath...

to live another day without the gut wrenching pain...



To my Enemies I bestow Love!!!

A deadly and the most painful tourcher.

Ivy-Chan 05

Watery Grave
00:27 Nov 13 2005
Times Read: 686






I watched from the shore,

As the sea opened her arms,

she called for my soul,

She called for me to join her,

To venture into the depths of her soul,

To leave the Shallo waters,

To Welcome the Truthm

Leave the shallow waters of deception,

So I followed my heart,

I dove into the darkness,

Into her depths I swam,

A cave I found,

A shelter given to me by her,

I was another treasure that she loved,

A treasure that she protected,

At the cost of my life,

She protects me well,

I now swim her depths,

Searching for her embrace again,

10-01-05

Ivy-Chan