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I constantly put up around me these walls,

not wanting anyone to see me fall.



Deep inside I forever will cry these tears,

who knows what my heart and soul bares.



These feelings of loneliness inside make me want to crumple and cry,

but before anyone sees one tear I would rather die.



Tell me my good sir, what weapon would you choose,

the razor blade, the gun, the knife, or even the noose.



As I search desperately for the one I want,

these memories of the past come back to haunt.



I find the box that I am looking for,

but wait, suddenly a knock at the door.



Should I answer it ,

or wait for a bit.



Cause if they think that I am not here,

they shall shed not a single tear.



So I sit here in silence,

knowing that what I am about to do makes no sense.



I hear nothing outside the door, so I open the box and come to my pleasant surprise,

it's what I wanted, the .45.



I load it and get everything done,

getting ready for my life's final fun.



Knowing that I will not survive,

I aim the gun at my head,

pull the trigger, now dead,

but more than ever alive!!!!!!!!!

Why is it that I am always the one?

The one that always pours his heart out.

The one to give it all up for something that he believes in.

The one who gives his heart to the one who needs it.

The one who thinks everything will go his way in the end.

The one who thinks life is good until it all crumbles around him.

Why is it always me how gets the raw end of the deal?

Why is it always me who gets his heart ripped out and tramples on?

Why is it always me who cares too much?

Why is it always me who gets told I love you, but when needed no one is around?

Why is it always me????????????

Why do I always get put through this shit,

Not ever having one ounce of happiness in my life,

A person with lesser patience would not put up with this one bit,

People just cant help but put me through strife.



Pushing me over the edge and always testing me,

Always ruining the things I live for,

Can't they just see that I am happy and let me be,

Cause if you keep pushing me I will even the score.



They took away the only thing that kept me sane,

Living in peace was me then,

Now everyone will fel my pain,

I have no problems living my life in sin.



I can't take htis pain anymore,

I don't want to live like this,

Into the clouds above I will never soar,

Not even if it were my last wish!

Not really sure what to wrtie in these things so I usually just add poetry. So here goes my first entry, Yea!!!!!!!



"One Man's Misery Is Another Man's Pain"



What are we looking for in this ilfe,

considering all we get is pain and strife.



Looking for responses that may never be answered, getting ourselves into situatios that may never be bettered.



Asking for things that may never be done,

the weight on my shoulders now a ton.



Stabbing at my heart so swift and fast,

hoping to take away this pain now and from the past.



Wondering if all this pain is worth my time,

wishing someone would take away my thoughts for a penny; maybe even a dime.



Life's time line no one knows,

but with each passing day my heart grows cold like the winter snows.



Not really sure if anyone will be there or not,

Maybe I should just lay here and this will be my plot.



But I live each day; slowly getting longer,

for some unknown reason getting stronger and stronger.



Myabe I was meant to live this life,

if so could someone tell me please why I am gripping this knife!