gangrelmother's Journal

gangrelmother's Journal


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5 entries this month

03:44 Apr 21 2006
Times Read: 705

So far away, yet so close

Knowing all of me wanting you most

Conversations gone dry

We barely say hi

Opening my mind, and you did too

One night, just up out of the blue

You sharing your feelings

To me you were so appealing

The next time we met

You were worried of how things would set

Would I turn my back on you

No, I do not judge the things you do

Yerning for all that I could get

Wanting to taste you the day we met

Your mind always kept me intrigued

Making me all the more wanting to feed

Now it seems we have no time to talk

But never forget in my dreams you walk

To my heart I will keep you close

The man that saw who I was the most

With love and care I write this

Just to let you know it is you I miss



04:46 Jun 04 2008

You write so beautifully !


03:27 Apr 21 2006
Times Read: 706

Feeling that cold metal cross my skin

Not worrying that what i do is a sin

The wetness of anger and hurt flow free

Careful so that i may not cut too deep.

Trying so hard to stay numb and not feel

Keeping all in my bottle under a seal

Now time shall come when it will over fill

Paying attention that i do not kill

Questions asked, answers I can not give

Fighting again wanting to live

Feeling so heavy from all of this stuff

When will others see that I have had enough

Maybe one day the cold metal goes too deep

Then in spirit I stand and watch them weep

Feeling all that I do, my anger and hurt

As they throw another shovel of dirt

Another day goes by people asking why

The spirit of another one had to die

Questions asked, answer I can not give

If I had the answers maybe I would have lived




03:20 Apr 21 2006
Times Read: 707

Sitting here wondering about whats next

Holding my head hoping the voices would leave

Telling me to do this and to do that

In my heart I feel the voices deceave

"Hey you" the voice says, listen to me

Your body so weary and your heart is so cold

Listen to the voice hear what I say

You are growing weaker almost as if your old

Crumbling to my knees and weeping

Numbness I feel so the voice has said

Calling out and reaching for the light

Hearing the voice saying that I am dead

Looking around seeing myself on the floor

The voice said look real hard, may that image remain

Holding onto a red peice of cloth so I see

The voice telling me to look closer, the cloth is blood stain

Feeling so cold and skin turning blue

The voice said "you think I'm here to deceave"

Weeping, not knowing what to think

The voice says, "I am the one you do not beleave"

Just open your heart if only for a moment

Take my hand the voice said, pulling with all his might

Leaving my lifeless body lying there so cold

Hearing the voice say, " I am the man of the night"

Still feeling as if I'm being deceaved

The voice saying come here take a look and see

Doing what the voice tells me to do

Moving closer seeing myself bleed

Oh dear God please send me an angel

Before the voice has noticed, please grab my hands

Pulling me back for that evil light

Keeping me safe just like one of your lambs

Praying for forgiveness, what I have done is evil

Hearing the voice saying you think you have won

Feeling my body become whole again

The voice said, "I will be back, I know that you are not done!"




02:53 Apr 21 2006
Times Read: 710

My guardian angel above

Came to me like a dove

Putting her hand on my shoulder

Guiding me as I grow older

As a young woman, I had no cares

Doing silly things all was dares

Now a middle aged woman, I start to see

All of the dangers and harm I would cause to me

An old woman that has grown so wise

Standing outside staring at the skys

Once again feeling my angel's hand

Taking me to that special land




02:44 Apr 21 2006
Times Read: 713

When I cry

The tears burn in my eye

When I cry

Lets you know when I am sad

Or maybe even when I am mad

When I cry

It hurts my heart so

Just because people know

When I cry

I just want to be alone

Not speaking, let me be on my own

When I cry

Down my face the tear will roll

Seeing everything black, black as coal

When I cry

Why do my tears sting so bad

Does it not matter if I am angry or sad

When I cry

Why is there so much pain

Does it matter if other sit and blame

When I cry

Why do I choose to isolate

Does it matter that there is so much hate

When I cry

Why do my tears come so fast

It all should matter thats why I ask

When I cry

The tears burn in my eye!!!



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