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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

Inner Cupellation

03:12 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 917


"Just another plop from the shit fairy." Thank you, ImagesInWords, I SOOOOO needed that :)



We will in all likelihood all walk through our own tragedies. In fact, if I care for you, I pray that difficulty comes into your life. If I care for you, I will hold your hand and walk with you through as much as I can, knowing it is really your journey to make.



Why do I hope this? Because it is adversity that burns away from you the chaff...the stuff that doesn't matter. The stuff that is holding you back. Please don't misunderstand...if you've experienced even death or loss, I still wish it. For you and for myself. The person you've lost is not my celebration. Your opportunity to grow is. What will you do with the fires you must walk through? Will you burn up...melt away...scream in agony forever? Or will you find your strength and forge on? Find joy again and truly know it for the miracle it is because we live in a transitory world?



The best people I know have walked through tragedy. They have their scars. They have their tears. But they have a light inside that burns so brightly, because all that stood between that light and the world has been burned away.


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Can't Be Arsed...Still.

23:07 Dec 23 2007
Times Read: 978


Nope, sorry...your Vampire Rave drama doesn't stick to me. You can fling it through your cage bars toward me, but it will never reach me. Why is it all over you, but I am untouchable? Because I'm not here for that. I'm really not even here because I want to meet people. That has happened, but it's a numbers game. I'm incredibly choosy about where I spend my time and to whom I give my attention.



Many people say they don't care, but I have taken it to an art form. Online drama doesn't even capture my eye, much less my attention. Quite frankly, it's boring. I associate with the best of the best always, people who have beautiful souls, people who are creative, and give a damn about their own character. VR is no exception.



You called me arrogant and conceited. I can see why you might think that. Do I think I'm better than you? Honestly, I haven't bothered to consider it. It would take time and energy to assess your worth...you don't motivate me enough to expend either.



If you need my help, ask me for it. I am approachable and fair. Do not try to drag me into situations. Just give me the bottom line and I'll do for you what I can. If you need an audience for your drama, or your attention hunger to be fed, move on down the row...there's always someone who likes that sort of thing.


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Someone is in SO much trouble

02:09 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 1,009


Me: I wasn't even born then.



Stabb666: You bloody well WERE!


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"And should I then presume? And how should I begin?"

10:07 Dec 14 2007
Times Read: 1,061


Would you catch me before I hit the ground?



What makes you think you could? What makes you think you should?


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'Tis My Season

21:05 Dec 13 2007
Times Read: 1,080


I was ambushed by my own emotion. There I stood, crying over Christmas stockings in the middle of a department store. It came from nowhere, this spikey thing that jabbed at my heart. I have been doing so well in his absence. I don't even feel that I miss him, at least there is no conscious indication that I do.



Why the raw spot now over some schmaltzy merchandising? I hate the thought of walking through my life and having unwelcome breakdowns assault me. Is heartbreak like taking LSD? Long after taking the trip, I get to flashback without my permission?



Well, kiss my ass, you bastard. I listened to you say that you were so unhappy, that I don't have a mean bone in my body, but that you need happiness. I remember feeling as though I'd fall and never stop. I lived through your betrayals and walled-off emotions. But whose life turned to shit and whose blossomed? You pissed away everything that mattered and didn't stop until you'd pissed away everything else as well.



I pressed on, having been smart enough to build a life around your obstacles. I am proud of myself, but then, I always was. You ate up years of my life, but they weren't wasted. I learned and am smarter and better on this side for the experience of your measured disdain. I greet with joy the opportunities presented each new day that I open my eyes and you are neither lying beside me nor lying to me.



You do not get my todays and my tomorrows. They belong to me and I am greedy and possessive of them.


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PRIVATE ENTRY

08:12 Dec 08 2007
Times Read: 1,103


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •





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