I usually try to be the bigger person, but I don't always feel obligated to that.
After all, why should I be expected to rebuild every bridge that other people decided to burn?
If they want to rebuild it, I won't stop them. I'll even help, and clear the obstacles. But don't expect me to always start the project... I have enough on my plate.
How to be professional 101:
Wish that douchecanoe who can't stand you an enthusiastic happy birthday, and mean it, because everyone should have a good day and celebrate themselves with their loved ones on their birthday.
My friend Johnny just stopped to pick up his laptop that I fixed for him. Immediate topic of conversation was, "What do I want to do with my life?'
He's about 10 years younger than I am, and is already at the restless cross-roads where the path he chose in college a half of a lifetime ago no longer works for him. It is energy draining, dismal, and depressing. He wants to explore his creative side, and expand his awareness, and his knowledge, but where to start.
Through social media, he has been able to witness my own misadventures through career, creativity, entrepreneurship, and life in general. It became a counseling session; where to go? What to do?
I'm feeling it. I know. I stand in those same shoes.
There are no easy answers.
"I wish I had your courage..." he said.
"It's not courage, so much as a willingness to finally say, fuck it."
They say you have to feed a cold.
Feed it... I have done that well, tonight.
I'm trying to be good. Honest.
Another Saturday night to myself....
...what to do?
I'm open to suggestions.
Considering a cooking webcam demo... I need to make sauce for my lasagna on Monday...
Somehow the parts of my life I can't get enough of never seem to linger long.
And the parts I don't want, never fucking end.
I don't mean to complain here all the time, but not many people actually want to hear these complaints.
I think my office mate (the boss) showers about once a week. It stinks in here like stale BO. It punches you in the face when you walk into the office.
I need a window....
Half an hour on the phone discussing your blood pressure medication with your doctor.
I get it, and I'm not surprised. You're overweight, your diet is awful, and you sit in this office complaining incessantly about every little thing that is going on with this movie production.
Honestly, if this stuff has you so stressed out, and is worthy of that much energy, I can't imagine what the actual important parts of life do to you.
Halfway through the edits of the performance, as expected, everyone loves the photos.
She told me last night that I'm amazing, and talented, and brilliant. When I tell her the same, she scoffs.
I'll keep trying....
I wrote her a long letter last night explaining how I feel. Explaining how I struggle. Explaining all of the things that I desire from this life.
She thanked me. Said it was sweet, and articulate.
But I can guarantee she won't want to go any deeper into it....
Today did nothing to correct my balance, and sort out my foul mood.
But at least I'm almost to the point where I can say fuck it, and just do whatever the hell I want.
I'm in the foulest mood I've been in for a long time.
I probably shouldn't be spending time in my other tumblr tonight....
Sorry, I'm not "praying for" anyone. It's not that I don't care, I do. I just know prayers are pointless.
Elect leaders who care more about people than profits.
Elect leaders who understand science and that policies need to be written around applied science, not religions, or superstitions.
Vote for change, not more of the same.
And I hate to burst your bubble, but Trump isn't change. Trump is a shyster who is using his office for his own profits, and the expense of everyone in America.
What happened in Vegas sucks, and is heartbreaking, but it has been preventable for decades. We just refuse to prevent it.
trump is a fucking joke.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. This is just ridiculously brutal. I cannot understand the level of blind, willful ignorance it takes to support someone who is so obviously fleecing America...
Almost 70-days vacationing so far. More than 2/5 of his time in office has been spent filling his own pockets with taxes playing golf at his own resorts.
It's 12:30AM on Sunday.
I just got home, and am having dinner, which is consisting of a bagel with peanut butter, and chocolate milk.
I have completed my reversal back into my college life....
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