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i opened my eyes the day i was born..full of life and love..



to my knees..i crawled into this world full of wonder..no fear



watching as the days past..the joy.. the pain..and saw others knees go down..



those i loved said..one day you will understand..and on your knees you will go...



i grew..and saw more..felt more..knew more..the pain that this world held for those who resided on it..and said..i will forever stand..and never on my knees will i ever go before..anyone....



my pain stayed great..with fear..anger..and regret...cold as ice i was..never to love or be loved...



then i heard it...the cry..the sound of a ever lasting love that broke the..spell..and on my knees i fell...to the one who gave me this love that will never die..my God in heaven..but..never would there ever be a man on earth who could ever come even close enough to gain my respect..love..trust ..for me to be on my knees for them..no one could ever be that worthy..so i shall stand before all man..



a proud woman..strong in her beliefs....walking tall..knowing..i could handle all that God gave me..alone yes in this waking world..but God never leaving my side...to my knees i fell so many times..asking why...



life went on as it always dose...the good..bad...the love..pain....so many tried to tame me..i would laugh and sigh..knowing there will would never match my own...forget it surpassing it..



then it stopped....i broke..i couldnt walk the walk anymore..i was dead inside...so..on my knees i fell again..my head down...i prayed..so hard..the words came from my very soul...when i lifted my head...there He was..



*smiles gently*...hello little one..



i said..im far from little sir..



He chuckled....





and from that moment on...the world was open to me...there was no longer something wrong with me..nor was i bad...i started to become alive again..thoughts raced through my head..as feelings raced through my body...He was awaking things in me i never thought possible...i would fall and He would pick me up...with Him and God on my side...i could not fail...



as my heart sang it was heavy...because..i knew if i was to keep this...man...beast...my love..the part that was making me hole..i would have to know ...was He worthy of the real reality of being on my knees for...not in the way it was for..my God..but as close as it could be without Him being...was it wrong?...was it right?...on my knees i went again...lowering my head asking my God for the answer..i fell into a sleep of kind...when i woke and lifted my head...i knew ..for looking down at me at His feet was the deepest..most bluest eyes i had ever seen..i knew from that moment God had not intended for me to walk this path we call life alone...or to always have to be so strong...or always standing..



time has reached further now...i look back at times..more then i should here lately...i believe it is fear...for i know i have made the right choices..but im watching as His blue eyes lose their light..and His will begins to bend..i cry out to Him..but even though He is so close..He is unreachable...i know the man..beast..i fell in love with is still there inside of Him..but is asleep..He must awake..or all will be lost...i cry..fight..stand..by Him...stand my ground...stand..stand..stand....



then..i stop..



and out of pure love.. on my knees i fall...



i lower my head and pray to my God..at His feet



i whisper..my Master..You will awake..for i have faith in not only God but You...



and on my knees i stay...





those i loved said..one day you will understand..and on your knees you will go...