Vampire Boy was displeased with his uncle. "Why do we let these lesser beings mock us"? he thought. "Why can't they be brought into line"? "Father.....I mean Stabb665 works for the vice-president of these United States!Vampire Boy had been told his father was important, yet, he remembered reading that another important person who worked for the vice-president, "Scooter" almost went to prison. "Scooter" had been to Vampire Boy's house a number of times over the years. Vampire Boy thought "Scooter" was funny, especially when he wore a dress. Actually Vampire Boy was not supposed to know about that but he had slipped out of bed one night and crept to the top of the stairs and saw "Scooter" wearing a dress and high heels.
Vampire Boy had wondered about that but never said anything to anyone. Vampire Boy's attention returned to the immediate problem. "What can I do" ?he thought. Vampire Boy sat on the side of his bed, thinking hard when suddenly he ran over to his bookcase. He withdrew a slim volume on spells and rituals. He opened the book to the table of contents and started reading.
Vampire Boy suddenly leaps up and stomps his foot and shouted "I know what to do"! "I will perform a ritual that will smite my enemies"! With that he continued to read.
As Vampire Boy left his father's den he was muttering to himself "Stabb665 just doesn't understand me"! "Why should we have to tolerate such people laughing at us and the vice-president"? "Afterall we are supposed to be important"! Why should we tolerate disrespect from anyone at Miss Chalmer's School for the Unconventional"? "I know" thought Vampire Boy "I will call Uncle Tom of MI-5"!
Entering his room Vampire Boy threw his bookbag onto his unmade bed. He walked over to his wooden desk and knelt down and opened the bottom drawer. He then withdrew a small wooden chest that had a vampire bat engraved on the lid. Opening the lid revealed a ring. Vampire Boy removed the ring and replaced the box in the desk drawer. Walking back over to his bed he sat on it and eyed the ring. With a twist he removed the stone and a piece of paper was revealed. On the paper was a telephone number. "Great" thought Vampire Boy, "uncle Tom's telephone number at MI-5".
Walking out of his room and into the long hallway Vampire Boy walked over to the telephone that sat on the sidetable under an oil painting of a clown. Vampire Boy quickly dialed the number. Across the Atlantic Ocean Tom Quinn of MI-5 was just sitting down to watch his television set. It had been a very long day. First, he was upset because he had been placed under oath in an official inquiry into MI-5's role in persuading the government of former Prime Minister Blair to support an invasion of Iraq. He was also under some pressure from those in the the present government who were calling Blair a war criminal and pushing for his prosecution before the Hague. As the phone rang Quinn sighed "damn, what now"!. When he heard the voice on the other end he smiled "it was his nephew Vampire Boy" from the United States". Vampire Boy immediately launched into an explanation as to the reason for his call and concluded by saying "Uncle Tom can you make them stop laughing at me and maybe make them disappear"? Quinn sighed again and said "Vampire Boy we are not popular these days" "We have made a terrible miscalculation and the citizens of both the U.S. and England are on to us". "We will be lucky to get out of this one"! "Now I suggest that you finish your homework and then go and watch FOX News because they are trying to spread The BIG LIE for us". Quinn wished his nephew good night and thought to himself "I wonder if he still has that ring I gave him poor little tyke still hasn't figured out it came out of a cracker jack box"!
Today we find Vampire Boy being summoned to his father's den. Vampire Boy walks in with his bookbag trailing behind him, his shirt pulled out of his dark blue shorts and his loafers scuffing the hardwood surface. As he approaches his father with trepidation, his father is sitting behind a desk, in a swivel chair facing an oil painting of his own grandfather.
"Hello father"! Vampire Boy's father swivels around to look at his son. "Son, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Stabb665"! "I have told you do not call me father". "Son, I received a telephone call today from Miss Chalmer's School for the Unconventional and they are not happy with you". "What is going on"?
Vampire Boy looks down at the ground and begins to move his foot back and forth in front of him and responds to his father "Stabb665 I am having trouble with a stalker and the school officials do not care"
"What do you mean a stalker" asks Vampire Boy's father. "I mean that someone is being mean to me and has read my personal information that I posted on Vampire Rave" shouted Vampire Boy.
"I feel that we have been slandered" shouts Vampire Boy! "But Vampire Boy who is we". "Why Stabb665 it is you and uncle Tom of MI-5." "I have even told them that you work for the vice president of the United States but they laugh harder at me when I tell them that".
"They said something to the effect that the vice president is a war criminal and that he probably should be in federal prison".
With a sigh Stabb665 turned away from Vampire Boy and said "Straighten your beanie it is crooked and behave yourself in school now go and do your homework and then you can watch Fox News"
Yes, follow vampire boy as he moves from adventure to adventure spreading the gospel of vampirism and seriousness along the way. Yet, he manages to keep his identity secret from even his own family. A family that includes a father who works for the oily, draft dodging, vice -president of the United States, and an uncle, Tom Quinn, who is employed by MI5, the British secret police. Vampire Boy even manages to collect his very own assortment of stalkers and hangers on!
Yes, new adventures are on the way!
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