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Okay, this note was deemed so hilarious by my dad, he nearly fell out of his chair...fact is always better than fiction and it's not a bad piece of narration...so I am re-posting it here...enjoy...laugh until you cry or your sides split one...o.O...'tis my life..lol...:P

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(Written 9-10-11)

Well...I started the day off yesterday morning moving furniture...giving the sofa set, that Chris picked out, to his cousin Margaret Ann (Nelle's daughter)...for the price of One Dollar...o.O...I couldn't resist the First Wive's Club Notion.

Got my old black couch back and all the nice bookshelves that had been tossed out in the shed... back in my place again and things are fairly back in order...as the Chaos threatens to encroach the borders once again...o.o

I was cleaning up and had sat down to take a break and chat with Aunt Nelle in her room when my son, Kevin...sweet child of mine...came in to tell me I needed to "come here...it's sorta of an emergency."....Sorta? O.O

I got up and went into the kitchen to find soap suds foaming out of the crevices and door of the dishwasher and all over my floor.....o.o What happened son?

"I don't know!!!...I put Dawn Dishwashing Soap in it to clean the dishes like you asked me to!!"

"DAWN???!!!"...OMG!!!...DAWN?!!!! HOW MUCH????!!!" @_@

So my morning went....turning off said ...foaming- at- the- mouth dishwasher ...getting towels to soak up the flood that threatened to pull up my laminate floor and pulled it out of the cabinet to get the massive amount of foam from behind it...o.o...and got zapped....electricution feels fairly familiar to me...another weird, tingling sensation akin to the ones I feel every day from the already hyper-electric seizure disorder...my nerves were jumping...as usual....o.o

Got the dishwasher back in and running...floor cleaned up...and yay..whatdoyaknow?...damn thing wants to fall out now when you load it...O.O...I inherited the old encylopedia set left out in the shed when the bookshelf came over...Chris asked me what I would do with them...probably donate them I said...hmm...they've come in handy already...they hold up the dishwasher door pretty damn good ...:D

Finally...crap picked up off my floor...put back on shelves..I can finally LIVE with my house again...for Now..o.O

That's it...let's go to Shreveport...Pooky wants a theme party this year...didn't even have one last year...nope..."couldn't afford it"...."no kids over"...."no nothing"....1st time ever, my kids didn't have a real birthday party...o.O...damn sure ain't happening again this year....O.O Off to Party City...but we're hungry...so onwards to Chee Burger-Chee Burger...No Coke...Only Pepsi...Pure 100% Angus Beef Baby...:P

Had to check out Best Buy..Kevin's Mecca of Electronic Heaven....then onwards to Target...Kristen's Mecca for Anything...o.O...then to Party City...where the theme changed from Littlest Petshop to Party Pups..but they were fresh out of Party Pup Pinatas...o.o...I have to check on it again when I take Aunt Nelle back to Shreveport on the 23rd for her doctor's appointment.

Then a little surprise...took the kids to Tinsel Town...checked out that new movie...Warrior....reminiscent of the original Rocky film...but two brothers fighting against each other...for more than one thing...great story...a few strings left hanging though at the end..but otherwise...pretty good sleeper hit...Nick Nolte was awesome as ever.

Got back in the car...Pooky says..."I still didn't get it mom." (the movie...why were they fighting to begin with? Don't know..that was one of those loose thread-thingys left unanswered)

Checked the phone while in the car...guess who texted me?..Chris..."Yal Alright?"

O.O...uh yea dude..told you yesterday I was going to Shreveport with the kids...what?..Do I have to leave a check list of every time I take a pitstop in the women's bathroom too? o.o At least I'm not getting texted to death as I was before the court date...o.O Answered text...."yup"

Texted back..."k-have fun."

O.O No answers back..I refuse...it's ridiculous...ya know?..I'm not the one with restrictions...he is....o.o

Got home...about 11:30...my mother was in the kitchen...opened the door to the smell of fresh-cut onions...STRONG onions...what the hell? Mother is standing there with a tupperware dish full of cut-cubed potatos in water and a large freezer bag of chopped onions so thick, it looks like it's own best novel of culinary flavor. Mom has this look...like a deer caught in the headlights..."oh..you're home already?"...uh..it's nearly Midnight mom...what are you doing with my potatos and onions I just bought?

"oh they're going bad, so I decided to help you out."

Uh...help me?....by taking my potatos and onions to your house?....

"I'm not stealing them..I'm just going to put them in my freezer."

uh...how bout putting them in my freezer? on the back porch?

"There's no room."

yea there is..in the freezer on my back porch....

"What freezer on the back porch?"

the one next to my newly repaired dryer mom...

"I thought it didn't work."

o.O...uh...why would I keep a non-existing freezer that doesn't work on my back porch with room to store potatos and onions mom?

"what freezer?"

o.o...I've realized what I've been looking dumbly at my mother about now...o.o...

When did you shave your head mom?

Chesire Cat Smile..."Today"

Why? o.O....I'm looking at her dubiously...little tufts of hair here and there sprouting up like the remnants of Peter Cottontail's arse-end sheared off by the local farmer....a reverse mohawk patched up in the back...

"See...It's finally EVEN!!!"

smiles...at me.....o.O

Why did you cut your hair mom...Again?????

"So it would be Even...isn't it Even?...If not, I'll let you fix it."

O.O...Fix what?...You have no hair...OMG...My Mother Shaved Her Head...Move over GI-Jane...Demi Moore can't touch none of this now...o.O

"What freezer?"

#_# ....No Hair...No Freezer on My Back Porch in Existence...No potatoes....Again...and no Onions...My kitchen "Re-Organized"....Again....and all she wanted to do was to use my computer while I was gone...O.O

My Mother Shaved Her Head...Again....o.o

Good-nite all...it's 1:00 a.m. in the morning...I fell into bed with my kids...My Mother has Shaved Her Head...Again...I can't get past it...thank God I spent some Mad Money on Friday when I was upset....bought a new kick-ass game, Dungeon Seige III....hell yeah...my Mother Shaved Her Head...I'm going to kick a dragon's arse sometime today...because I slept this morning and now...cup of coffee in hand...to hell with Perky...I'm checking this mug out and try not to think about why my mother..... Shaved Her Head....O.O

The jacked-up wheelchair and rocket-propelled walker to fly across the Pond with Rose, Paul, and Carl in tow for a castle in Scotland is looking pretty damn good right now...My Mother Shave Her Head....and thinks it's EVEN....O.O

Got a few racing tires dad?...Surely, you still know how to change some of those out, yea?...o.O...

My Mother Shaved Her Head.....O.O

I gave her a popsicle....she didn't know the last time she'd ate...so she shaved her head....the reality I live in is more bizarre than any fiction I could possibly write....where the hell is the Dawn Dishwashing Liquid??? o.O...Maybe I can create a cloud to float away upon? I'll drop by Tennessee along the way...

My Mother Shaved Her Head...#_#

I love you guys...truly I do...never meant anything at all the other day..except...I love my friends...I love my family...because they're the only thing that keeps me from losing my ever-loving mind....my mother shaved her head...AGAIN....o.O

thank you for the coffee break...the words meant a lot...Love you...I'm off to slay dragons this morning...staying at home and locking the doors....because my mother shaved her head...and the world is beginning to look a little too scary for me at the moment...o.O

My Mother Shaved Her Head