Day 1 of shooting on the sound stage today:
*cell phone chime*
*Beeping of rolling highlift being moved*
*someone turns on a saw*
.... and so on, and so on....
So I was laid off from my job at the end of June. Fresh off the tails of a long weekend, and successfully producing my girlfriend's second headline entertainment showcase, I walked into work the next day, and was promptly met by my department director, and shortly after, HR, in what could only be described as unnecessarily anxiety driven meeting.
My director sincerely could not handle difficult situations, or conversations. He responded to it worse than I did: agitated, shaking, speaking too quickly. Not dissimilar from how someone might act on a cocaine binge. Anyway, I kind of knew it was coming. With the hospitals consolidating into a single system, IT would also be consolidated, and middle management is always the first to go in those situations. His job was safe. The technicians I over-saw, and guided through their daily requirements were safe. The nervous ones constantly expressed their concerns that they would be let go, and I constantly reminded them that if anything, I would be the first to go.
Of course, I was right. I know how business decisions are made.
I took my severance package, and started planning a summer off with my girlfriend. Working side-jobs, and photography gigs for a couple of months, I took the opportunity to enjoy life for a while, assuming once she returned to her full time job as a teacher at the end of August, I would have time to take on more creative projects.
But the end of August came, and I started a new job. Then I got the opportunity to work on this movie. Then more solicitations for photography, and all of the creative concepts I had went away with the time I would no longer have.
So come November, as Halloween, this movie, and other responsibilities pass away, I'm going to get back to it. Instead of Summer concepts, fall, and winter will reign.
That is unless I get this job with this IT firm I'm talking to....
Having to pay bills sucks.
As to not fill my journal here with anything significant that could potentially be lost, all of my new writing will go into my blog on my website.
So for anyone interested, I wrote a new poem, including a photograph for inspiration.
Very nice poem. A possibility of a lost love, and genuine feelings of pained love. I like it! Reminds me of that song by Nirvana... Where Did You Sleep Last Night. I like the poem!
In my mind, it's really more about how relationships change in time. How we go from those exciting, energy charged first days of passion, and fun... and things often turn gray later on, when we settle into a contentment, or the cracks in who we are start to show through. We take for granted the beauty we once marveled, and we give less of ourselves, spending less time trying to make each other feel that same sense of excitement.
We need to keep playing in those fields, and even through aging, as beauty fades, we need to appreciate the new beauty that exists, even if the rest of the world doesn't find it as attractive as it once was....
So the religious fundies say it's a sin to masturbate because every sperm is precious, a potential life, and to spill your seed on non-fertile ground is forbidden in the bible.
Ok, so what if a man has had a vasectomy? Is it no longer a sin because he isn't tossing a load of potential life, or is he living in constant sin because his little swimmers are dying, trapped in a tubular prison?
In the words of Bill Hicks, "I have wiped civilizations off my chest with a gray gym sock. That is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel. I've tossed universes...in my underpants...while napping! Boom! A milky way shoots into my jockey shorts, "Aaaah, what's for fucking breakfast?”
I have nothing else to do on set today.
Might as well move forward with projects of my own.
|World Visitor Map|
|Honeyflow by: Amorphis|
|The first Jaws movie.buttered popcorn and some kind of soda.|
|I will go first:Beech|