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HellChildDami's Portfolio



HellChildDami
PROFILE

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My mind is shattered in pieces upon the floor

My heart bleeds blood black as the midnight sun!!

A darkness drifts in and slowly surrounds

A heart dips low to protect it's soul

A girl lies upon the floor gathering pieces

A mind once strong

Torn slowly apart bit by bit

Friends gather in wonderment

Confused by the sight before them

To gaze into eyes of glass

No shadows, no color, no light left in them

Strength and desire once prominant within

Has begun to disolve as time passes

Will there be an end to the downward sprial

Clawing and griping as the earth falls away

Slipping further into the black hole that once was my mind ...



By HellChildDami 5/28/05 ©




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We can't always be happy go lucky now can we ???? >;^{




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The Sleeper



At midnight, in the month of June,

I stand beneath the mystic moon.

An opiate vapor, dewy, dim,

Exhales from out her golden rim,

And, softly dripping, drop by drop,

Upon the quiet mountain top,

Steals drowsily and musically

Into the universal valley.

The rosemary nods upon the grave;

The lily lolls upon the wave;

Wrapping the fog about its breast,

The ruin molders into rest;

Looking like Lethe, see! the lake

A conscious slumber seems to take,

And would not, for the world, awake.

All Beauty sleeps!–and lo! where lies

Irene, with her Destinies!



O, lady bright! can it be right-

This window open to the night?

The wanton airs, from the tree-top,

Laughingly through the lattice drop-

The bodiless airs, a wizard rout,

Flit through thy chamber in and out,

And wave the curtain canopy

So fitfully–so fearfully-

Above the closed and fringed lid

'Neath which thy slumb'ring soul lies hid,

That, o'er the floor and down the wall,

Like ghosts the shadows rise and fall!

Oh, lady dear, hast thou no fear?

Why and what art thou dreaming here?

Sure thou art come O'er far-off seas,

A wonder to these garden trees!

Strange is thy pallor! strange thy dress,

Strange, above all, thy length of tress,

And this all solemn silentness!



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The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,

Which is enduring, so be deep!

Heaven have her in its sacred keep!

This chamber changed for one more holy,

This bed for one more melancholy,

I pray to God that she may lie

For ever with unopened eye,

While the pale sheeted ghosts go by!



My love, she sleeps! Oh, may her sleep

As it is lasting, so be deep!

Soft may the worms about her creep!

Far in the forest, dim and old,

For her may some tall vault unfold-

Some vault that oft has flung its black

And winged panels fluttering back,

Triumphant, o'er the crested palls,

Of her grand family funerals-

Some sepulchre, remote, alone,

Against whose portal she hath thrown,

In childhood, many an idle stone-

Some tomb from out whose sounding door

She ne'er shall force an echo more,

Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!

It was the dead who groaned within.



THE END By Edgar Allan Poe ©




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ENDLESS YEARS OF PAIN



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Wounded39 By Mark Ryden




This constant flow of pain my life has always been

Although one may look at me hearing laughter, and a happy voice exclaim

It’s not the voice that screams within these walls of my soul

To know one single simple day that has no pain

I have never known the likes of it

Not a day has gone by in my years where no pain I’ve felt

Days go by with a slow never ending creep

An ache throughout my bones and muscles

A life lived in mindless stupor would cover the pain

But for how long?

My mind of endless thought clouded by chemicals within my body?

I suffer endless sleepless hours of lying there in the darkness

I fight back the tears from the surface before they spill forth for all to see

I yearn for the pain to go away but cannot end it for myself

I’ve tried, times no one knows of, nor ever will save for now

Days like today I wonder why?

Why am I here? Why was I allowed to live? Why did they save my tiny life?

Who controls this life?

I begin to think of all those I’ve touched in my life

Have the endless years of enduring the pain been enough to make a difference?



By HellChildDami ©




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Alone

by Edgar Allan Poe



From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were - I have not seen

As others saw - I could not bring

My passions from a common spring -

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow - I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone -

And all I lov'd - I lov'd alone -

Then - in my childhood - in the dawn

Of a most stormy life - was drawn

From ev'ry depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still -

From the torrent, or the fountain -

From the red cliff of the mountain -

From the sun that 'round me roll'd

In its autumn tint of gold -

From the lightning in the sky

As it pass'd me flying by -

From the thunder, and the storm -

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view -




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MAD GIRL'S LOVE SONG



"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;

I lift my lids and all is born again.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)



The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,

And arbitrary blackness gallops in:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.



I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed

And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)



God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:

Exit seraphim and Satan's men:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.



I fancied you'd return the way you said,

But I grow old and I forget your name.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)



I should have loved a thunderbird instead;

At least when spring comes they roar back again.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)"



By Sylvia Plath ©




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Too describe myself, it is a hard thing to do.

I don’t much like talking about myself.

I am an observer of man kind,

Emotions, thoughts, words, sights and sounds around me.

I have learned much in life by keeping my eyes, mind & heart open.



At a very young age I learned the meaning of loss.

My mother passed away when I was 6. I have 1 older sister, two brothers.

I am third born, and love and cherish my siblings very deeply.

We are all different in our own ways, my sister is more the yuppie, status quo type of person.

My older brother is and has always been my protector, having saved me from myself and others on a few occasions.

My younger brother is very spiritual, and a strong Christian. He has guided me often to find a desire to better my life.

I am the “Black Sheep” of my family for sure.



I am a mother, my daughter being the eldest granchild out of 9.

She is and will alwyas be my pride and joy,

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She is my light.

Truly she is not a child, she is a beautiful young lady.

Some of you have may even talked and befriended her through this site.

I will not give you her name, that is for you to figure out.

We are very much alike in almost every way.

But do not tell her that, she gets testie if you do.

I don't blame her at all one bit for feeling that way.

I was the same way growing up

Everyone telling me I was my mother in everyway.



I would give just about anything to see or speak to my mother just once more in this lifetime. It was very hard growing up thinking that your father (who never remarried) looked at you and saw his dead ex-wife within you. I felt at times that he took his pain out on me; that he didn't love me. Over the years though, I have come to realize that he does, he’s not the same man he was years ago. I am a different person!!




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THING'S I LIKE THAT ARE ME!!




Image hosted by Photobucket.comSEX!!! That is always a good one to start with.



Image hosted by Photobucket.comI love black, I wear basically all black clothing, and ocassionally other colors, but my pants are almost 99.9% of the time black

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI listen to every kind of music except Opera, and Reagge



Image hosted by Photobucket.comMy passion is writing, it is not just a hobby, but what I hope to one day acheive.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI write everything .. from poems, to rants, to raves, stories, even erotica ..

So please feel free to read my journal and add it to your list if you'd like.



Image hosted by Photobucket.comI like reading poetry, romance novels, as well as Vamprie novels, mythology, folklore, and much more.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comWhat ever my mood strikes, if it keeps my attention in the beginning I will finish it within a day or two, no matter the length



Image hosted by Photobucket.comI like going for drives just to get out and away and blasting the music of my mood just to collect my thoughts

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI love spending time with my daughter...she is my best friend as well

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI love animals, dogs, cats, little fuzy things...you name it

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI do like snakes and I'm not afraid of them.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI love talking to people ... most of the times, but like everyone else I have my moments!



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For nibbling a spoon does wonders ... but then nibbling leads to biting, biting requires a fork ... Therefore too much nibbling leads to spooning, too much spooning leads to forking .... so bite away my dear ...

AND message me some time ...

BUT BEWARER ... Biting once or twice is fine, mutiple bites at one time will get you blocked

WITHOUT WARNING!!


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His awful skin

stretched out by some tradesman

is like my skin, here between my fingers,

a kind of webbing, a kind of frog.

Surely when first born my face was this tiny

and before I was born surely I could fly.

Not well, mind you, only a veil of skin

from my arms to my waist.

I flew at night, too. Not to be seen

for if I were I'd be taken down.

In August perhaps as the trees rose to the stars

I have flown from leaf to leaf in the thick dark.

If you had caught me with your flashlight

you would have seen a pink corpse with wings,

out, out, from her mother's belly, all furry

and hoarse skimming over the houses, the armies.

That's why the dogs of your house sniff me.

They know I'm something to be caught

somewhere in the cemetery hanging upside down

like a misshapen udder.



Bat By Anne Sexton ©




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I HATE BUGS!!!!! SPIDERS!!!!!

I will jump a mile and scream and run around like an idiot looking for the 20 foot wasp spray to kill any bug in sight

I have stock in Raid!!! >;^}




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MY DIS-LIKES!!!




Image hosted by Photobucket.comI Dislike people who try to control me or my life

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI Dislike that I am unsure of myself all the time now when I never used to be

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI Dislike the things I am going through right now

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI Dislike fake people...

Image hosted by Photobucket.comI Dislike people who tell you one thing then do another



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Image hosted by Photobucket.comI dislike those that boo hoo about life....get a grip people...it's life...everyone's got problems...everyone's got their ups and downs...but if ya hate it that bad...stop wasting the air space...the ozone layer is already depleating...quit your whining...there's only so much cheese and crackers to go around...here's your sign...try putting yourself in say someone's shoes in Africa...Ethopia...you've at least got a roof over y'r head...hell you got a fuckin computer or else you wouldn't be reading this...I'm sure there are about a million people somewhere else int he world that would give their right eye to have half of what you have...Life is what you make it, if you choose to brood over allt he bad and not take it as a life learning lesson then of course your life will remain miserable...However if you learn from your mistakes and learn how to adjust your life you will find that it really isn't that bad...and as I said if it is then there is another option! And NO I DO NOT CONDONE SUICIDE! Or cutting or all that other BS!

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BEWARE!!!

Meet Beasty

Keeper of the blade that protects me!

Owner of all I cherish most in life!

Guardian and Teacher to my children, Grimm and Lillith!









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When they grow up they will do the same thing every night "Try to take over the world!"




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Embraced



She cries at night and I am not there

She reaches to me and I feel her touch

The soft caress of her hand within mine

I look to my side, there I can see her, sense her, feel her

Her blue eyes sad and lonely

Wanting to say so much

Yet knowing not where to start

The tears build to the surface

Then threaten to flow forth

They begin to cascade down her pale white cheeks

My heart aches to take her pain

To hold her in my arms

Steal the very soul that breaks her so

Slowly she steps within my embrace

Wrapping my arms I feel the beat of her heart next to mine

My chin upon her head I feel the tears begin to flow

Within the trembling of her body

All the years of hidden pain spills forth

Thoughts control my mind

I see all the hatred and agony suffered

I lower to whisper words of comfort

She clutches to me

Nails pierce my skin and blood trickles

Her silent sobs give way to heart wrenching cries

The images and pain I can no longer bear to see

My cold lips press gently against her warm throat

Blood pluses beneath the skin

Beating faster and deeper

My teeth against her pale skin sinking in tender flesh

Blood silently flows down my throat

Her grip loosens as her tears subside

I feel the life force leaving her body

She goes limp within my embrace

Gently laid upon the bed

Brushing years of her tears from her reddened cheeks

Turning to leave, one final glance

Her years of pain now gone



By HellChildDami May 22, 2005 (12:30 am) ©




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SONG PLAYING IN BACKGROUND


Shadow Realm By Seraphim Shock


Reflections start to lie

When the mirror knows too much

Yesterday has past

Tomorrow's long since gone

Thirteen years and nothing's changed

The promises, they died

Never let them see the rage

You left me wanting

Gifts, from gods below

The strangers riding call

The script already written

So patiently we wait

There's no rainbow here

These words are never mine

What's choice for the chosen

They never told me

Why?

Know now what you see

The voice behind the veil

Confessions will deceive you

Within the shadow realm

Our souls split and frayed

Through thoughts that transcend time

Know now where you stand

They'll never tell you

Why?




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Quiz Result Provided By: theOtaku.com.







What Darker Naruto Character Are You?





Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.





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Just one additional thing .. if you've managed to read this whole thing, then you'll know NOT to WELCOME me to the site. I'll let you all in on a NOT so little secret ... I was the very first Sire on this site ... ask around, those who've been here awhile will let you know this, I'm not just saying ti to brag ... things happened and I was away for a time, I miss all of my friends and late night buddies I made on here, and I love talking to them when i check back in.....



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Meetings held nightly at 9:00 P.M.

and

served at 10:00 P.M.

Now accepting new applications at the door!

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Last Updated: Jan 23, 2008
Times Viewed: 1,273



Times Rated:264
Rating:9.892

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Deedrah
Deedrah
01:13
Dec 18, 2021

10

AlderxWolf
AlderxWolf
02:57
Oct 08, 2021
Real vampires love Vampire Rave.
MorgenxStern
MorgenxStern
03:28
Oct 05, 2021
9zwh-E1lc34-VUWe stand as one, though our paths are many.

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