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I am a 32 yr. old Vamp and I live in the woods with my keeper I am almost to the point of being embraced by Vassago a trusted Vampire friend of mine due to the fact that this mortal life is too unbearingly painful for me anymore I have dreamt of suicide many times yet have failed to act out such things not for lack of trying but for lack of self confidence in actually succeeding on the mission I always fail so hopefully if i feel like I belong here then maybe I might stay alive long enough to get what I want which is to be embraced by Vassago .