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BleedingHeartCryingOut



Limbus Patrum (Coven)

Vampire Rave member for 15 years.

Status:  Interloper (47.41)
Rank:  Member
Honor 0    [ Give / Take ]
Affiliation:  Limbus Patrum (Coven)
Account Type:  Regular
Gender:  Female
Birthdate:  ?
Age:  ANCIENT
Location: 

dwelling in the darkness of the your soul




Journal


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Quote:

Is there a doctor in? I think I just lost my mind....


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Hello, my name real name is Natalia (aka Treasure) and I am a born vampyre. I have always had the essence of it in me even as a child. I currently reside in Maryland. I am mother of two boys, (Alexander & Cameron). I would like to become a singer and a writer. I am trying to get some of my written things published soon.

I was always different than everyone else growing up. I was the "outsider" and felt kind of lonely at times. I had a lot of friends though. A lot of them couldn't fill the void because they weren't like me. I was also the black sheep in my family. I know a lot of ppl on here can relate. I had family members that despised me because they didn't like my mother. W.T.F.

I was a victim of child abuse and was treated bad by a lot of ppl for no reason. I spent a lot of time in my room writing and daydreaming of one day making it without ending my life. I never thought i'd be here today. I was very pessimistic about a lot of things because I hadn't experienced true kindness that much. My used to hang on to my mother like she was my lifeline and she would treat me like shit. We have a different relationship now though. We get along a lot better than we used to. You know what they say, " Mother is God in the eyes of a child".


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I was also in the military (U.S. Navy). I was enlisted for two years and it was not what a expected. I had a hard time in boot camp at the beginning because I was fat.lol But by the end, I realized it was one of the most fulfilling experiences in my life. Now when I got to my command (U.S.S Wasp) it was not all that great. I ran into a lot of bad ppl there. they used to say that Our command was the worst in the U.S Navy. Can u believe it? We had ppl who got high, tricked, stole, and there was even a guy who killed a man on the road by drunk driving. This fool had the nerve to come back to work like nothing happened. Huh?

I do crazy stuff like:barking like a dog, reading the dictionary and phone book (I can spell damn good because of it lol), count the cracks in the walls and ceilings, have pinching fits with other ppl, and clean off the tables and counters at public places.




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French fries,
Biting into flesh,
The moon,
Red wine,
Bustiers,
Jeans,
Laughter,
Making love,
Music,
Art,
Literature,
Writing,
Dancing in the rain,
Singing,
Horror Movies,
Flipping people off,
Chocolate chip cookie dough,
Video games,
The sky,
True friends,
Animals,
Red kool-aide,
Kissing,
Fire,
Those who love me










Your clan is a dysfunctional one. That is because you are a Malkavian. Something is poisonous about this clan's blood that drives all those embraced to madness. However, in this madness, you tend to have great insight. Unfortunately, people just take it as senseless ramblings. In every family there is an insane one. You're it.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?



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Hatred,
Racism,
Homophobes ,
Fake people,
Crumb snatchers,
Cronies,
Liars,
Crying,
Sunlight,
Fear,
Having no communication,
Abuse,
Loneliness,
The government,
Bigots,
Liver,
Sleeping alone,
Homelessness,
People who take credit for what you do,
and the rest of you know who you are....


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"Beauty of Your Death"

It's very quiet as I stand here holding the butcher knife used for the dinner I have prepared. The blood on the blade still drips onto the floor I covered myself with it so I could also look as pure and beautiful as the dead corpses at my feet.

The bodies are in disarray around the house every wall has been painted crimson red. The screams that filled the halls earlier were like the sweet sounds of erotic masturbation. My underwear it's still soaked from the memory of the pleasure I received listening to the fear grow inside of them with every quickened heart beat.

I used the hammer for my father I broke his skull with a smooth ease. His blood splattered on my face and body. I made sure I was naked so he could admire the beauty of his daughter's body before I spilled his brains on the tile floor. He was always curious for my taste and feel of my tight pink pussy.

I made up my mind to drown my mother in her bath water she was never clean and pure like me. She never loved me but loved to play inside of me when she was hot and lonely for daddy. She told me that he would never believe a dirty whore like me. She said I could never satisfy him the way she does but she was wrong. He didn’t push me away when I followed him into his room and sucked him off until he screamed my name.

I saved my brother for last because I loved him the most. As he lay in his crib I smothered him with the pillow I stitched his name on. When he became breathless I carried him into the kitchen and cut his heart out. I'm still holding it now as the corpses lay at my feet. I devoured it drinking the sweet nectars of his blood first then I feasted on his remains. He is now apart of me forever.

I turn to look in the mirror on the wall and smile as my queen stares back at me. She was with me all along.



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“Consummation of a Beast”

Fighting the urges that engulf me
Not gonna let it control me
Biting into my own flesh until it bleeds
My hunger growing, trying to satisfy the need
Searching for places to plant my disease
I rage upon weak mortals ready to feed
There is no one who can stop me

No one can tame the hunger
Don't think you can run and hide
I'm coming when darkness falls
Tonight I'll help you die
I'm hiding in the shadows
So kiss your lover goodbye
I'll make you scream my name
Tonight I'll help you die

I see your death in my mind
Drinking your blood will surely make me high
Why do you attempt to deny
That I'll drain your body until you die
God won't be here by your side
I'll be the dark angel who'll take you inside
I'll bleed you dry
My hunger will be satisfied

No one can tame the hunger
Don't think you can run and hide
I'm coming when darkness falls
Tonight I'll help you die
I'm hiding in the shadows
So kiss your lover goodbye
I'll make you scream my name
Tonight I'll help you die

Holding you close like a lover would do
My lips and teeth pressed hard against you
I bit into your neck and your body fell loose
I drank you in killing you
Our bodies stuck together as if we were bonded by glue
Your blood on my lips were a beautiful hue
I threw you down because you are no more than food

No one can tame the hunger
Don't think you can run and hide
I'm coming when darkness falls
Tonight I'll help you die
I'm hiding in the shadows
So kiss your lover goodbye
I'll make you scream my name
Tonight I'll help you die


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"CHILD ABUSE"

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car.
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault.
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.


!!!!There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah. And you can help. Copy and send this poetry and maybe most of people will become more wise !!!!!
(This was copied from Devilsbestangel's profile)


"Kiss From My Lover"

Silence...
She hasn't spoken in awhile.
The ventilator is the only thing to prove she's still breathing.
I stare at her and then look away.
I need to be strong...
Besides she made me promise that I wouldn't cry when it was time.
She's so pale, like a ghost.
She's the strong one, not me.
I'm having a hard time holding it together.
Coughing awakens her from her deep slumber.
I grab some ice and put some in her mouth and on her lips.
Even though she's suffering, she still found the energy to smile at me.
I lean down and our foreheads touch.
As I look in her eyes I see no fear.
Flowers lace the walls in the room.
A single black rose lays across her chest.
She said she always loved the darkness I displayed...
The fact that I was like no other woman she had loved.
But I guess she doesn't realize that right now I can't be dark and mysterious.
I can't shrug my shoulders and say, "fuck it"
Like I usually would
The reality is that she's dying, withering away
Leaving me here in a world I could never live in alone.
As if seeing the pain in my eyes, she grabs my hand.
She whispers to me, "You'll be okay, I'll be okay. Please don't cry for me".
I can't take it anymore
I began to bawl like a baby and she holds me like a loving mother, close to her heart.
So beautiful she is
She's the strong one, not me
I turn around and our eyes meet
She kisses the tears that run down my face and then my lips
A deep strong kiss, I feel like I'm falling
and I can't catch my breath
She looks tired though when we part
I lay her down and she closes her eyes
The ventilator rises and falls for the last time
I kiss her again
She made me promise I wouldn't cry when it was time...
I climb next to her in the hospital bed
Her hair smells like peaches, she loved peaches
That scent will stay with me until the end of time.
I grab her close and dream of better days
When I was happy
When she was strong
When my lover wasn't gone...


The depths of my soul are empty, hollow, and black
from the cold
of the world
that expelled upon me
Just hate surges through my mind
as I lay sleeping
lonely
dreaming of a feeling
I will never know again,
Happiness
Hopelessness has taken over
my thoughts
trapping me like a prisoner
in my mind
The voices never stopping
calling me a failure
ridiculing me
as I pray on my hands and knees
for the strength
to get through this
but God has left me
He thinks I and worthless
so I will disappear
into the black abyss
of my soul...

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Interview with the Vampire
Bound
Hostile
Queen of the Damned
Cruel Intentions
Saw (all three)
Bastard out of Carolina
Imitation of Life
Radio Flyer
Underworld 1 & 2
House of 1000 corspes 1 & 2
Last House on the Left
Nightmare on Elm Street ( all of the above)
Friday 13th (all the above)
Philadelphia
But I'm Just a Cheerleader
Girl Interrupted
The Blob
The Stand
The Shining
American Psycho
Creep Show
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Night


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My Chemical Romance
N.I.N
Marilyn Manson
30 Seconds to Mars
Avenged Sevenfold
Evanescense
Korn
Taking Back Sunday
Green Day
Disturbed
The Kidneythieves
Zero 7
Coldplay
Linkin Park
James Blunt
Christina Aguilera
Tamia
The Isley Brothers
Papa Roach


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Family Guy
Scrubs
Criss Angel
King of Queens
Drawn Together


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This is my friend Tammy, she is a sire and the master of La Rose Noire Coven. She is the mother of my protege' DeathChild and she can be really silly at times. She stole my prize possession (my knife). lol *Damn you Tammy*

VR Coven "La Rose Noir" Family


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This is my protege' DeathChild! RancidMeat is her b/f. I have been teaching her to be the baddest lil devil she can be. Don't get on her bad side I have trained her well. She is my most loyal fan.


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This is Vamplez she is the wife of the leader of LOVR, a group I am a proud member of. It is a group for fellow vampire lesbians. She made the wonderful picture of my wife and I that I posted on my profile. :)

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I spend a lot of time wondering where I belong. I've spent so much time out of my life feeling isolated from the ppl in my life. No one in my family has really been able to figure me out. There is so much darkness within me. Sometimes I lose my self-control and destroy everything I touch and love with the words I try to hold inside. My thoughts are some of what I can't explain. I dream dark unruly dreams that sometimes interfere with my reality. Sometimes I look down at my hands and see them covered in blood. Voices stay in my head trying to change me. I find it hard to avoid. I live this life holding back the lies I keep inside. The thoughts that wander around my mind. I have stained my pillows with the sweat and tears of frustration because I can't seem to keep myself together. All along I have lived these lies. The lies of being normal, sane, and never afraid. It has become hard to wake up and stare myself in the face when I walk in front of a mirror. I feel weak and tired from the stress and trying to belong. This depression is wearing me down. I don't want to fight with anyone anymore to be me. How can I go on with the lies I tell? U know, the ones about me being happy all the time while my mind falls to pieces, me smiling and laughing trying to hold back the tears and screams, the hellos and hugs from those I do not love, the displays of strength when I feel so cowardess. Who can save me now? Not my loved ones, not God, not even myself. Maybe the devil has finally won. Maybe I will forever dwell in the darkness.

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Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



WORDS WOMEN USE

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or Faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.


Shake that booty!! lol



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Member Since: Dec 27, 2006
Last Login: Nov 14, 2020
Times Viewed: 6,319



Times Rated:303
Rating:9.723

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Ylvax
Ylvax
02:45
Oct 05, 2021


I have rated you fairly & wish you a good afternoon/evening.



20190825-144338-1
Halloqueen
Halloqueen
06:45
Nov 14, 2020
wallup-net
Earthgrinder
Earthgrinder
04:34
May 16, 2020

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