Illianos's Profile at Vampire Rave.

How do I feel right now? ...

Calm... I guess.
Things happen, it's fair to say my mind has changed on a number of things - but that's not for anyone here to know... without reason anyway, I suppose.

I do not rate people unless they rate me, I can't be bothered cycling through every person and rating D: i'm too damn lazy for that X.X

But yea - every person who rates me will receive a rating in return and it will be fairly distributed :D (aka. you rate me 10 doesn't mean I am indefinately going to give a 10 back.)

Ok, so... some 'interesting' things which have happened to me.
Someone very close, who has suffered for a long time, with Breast Cancer and then a Brain Tumour (uncurable) finally passed on with not long until christmas.
She was only young. A close friend and she will never be forgotton.

I recently found out that my Grandma was Schizophrenic and my mum has suddenly got to worrying about things out of her control, like will she develop or I develop Schizophrenia? that's one of the few things on her mind.
For those who are unsure, Schizophrenia is the form of mind where I could "imagine" something, but to me it's completely real, I can touch, feel, sense it etc. (if I had Schizophrenia I mean), but obviously any person without it could see nothing - hence why it is often coincided with the idea of Split-Personalities.

I'm sensitive... and make little sense. I'm a person... but i'm different. I'm myself... but remind people of others. I'm curious... but constantly aware of the situation. I'm determined... yet laid back.

These are a few of my 'personal' features.

I speak in riddles, or so they say, the man who once did walk away, he said there was no sense watching despair, because he really did not care, this man is I i'll let you know, but what I care I do not show, I speak in riddles of tounges in cheeks, but for what I care shall set few, As far apart or as near to you, my Heart is yours, If I should give it.

To those few worthy, This man (I) stood, ahead and apart, in tow with war, "We are at war my friends", This they too knew, "We shall set apart, forget the war, We have our own settling score, to teach the people of this world, They are not the fortold, they are not the ruling class, they are not the man in the tower! THEY are not the man in the white house, they are not the pope of religion, they are not the ruler of this world, they are people, and people as they are is people as they are treated... and never let them forget this, for when they do, terror unfolds, and every day, it is us who shall suffer, us who shall continually watch the pain... so teach my friends... Teach.

And never let those out of line forget.

ok, so where to begin. I am me. no labels, no stereotypes, I am what you get and you get what I am, I am me and nothing more, I am not something else, I am not a 'prearranged name' to give to a product, I am not something you buy off a shelf in a store, I am me.

I am who I am, and if you don't like it, get walking now.

You lie, you cheat, you claim defeat,
You stand upon your stubborn peak,
you bleed, you burn, you ne'er return,
Yet here you fly upon the heath.

You stab, you rip, you tender flip,
you concur the ending for me,
But this I say is won the way,
The way I say you fall on the floor,
The way you begin to find the end,
And the way this "doth depend",
Upon the mind so curt and ripped,
And I know you lie but unto me,
I no longer care for you the lying now,
is spared.

So leave me be,
And leave me there,
Don't look for me,
I won't be there.

I trust people for who they are, my question to the reader right now is, just who are you? explain this to me, show me who you are. how can you show me? be yourself. be it a comment or a message, who are you? why are you who you are, think about this. have others shaped you in some way? how did you come to be who you are today? the past may be behind us, and we may always be moving forward, but remembering where we came from is just as important as knowing where we are going.

The life which one lives,
Is but a thread on a web of lies,
A life is such a gentle thing,
Yet filled with such despise.

The gift which someone gives,
Is a gesture of a good will,
The sweet and innocent ever caress,
And yet they're martyrs still.

Yet the cause of concern is not the deceit,
The lies and the swift retreat,
The cause of concern is a hidden shield,
With a spine to your fate and a sudden wield,
The fight goes forever and the ending is nigh,
but the fight is forever, it'll continue into the night,
The ending is simple,
a minor oversight,
Fighting ends nothing and nothing starts fights.

A post i made which i think says a lot about me :

"Re: Is Love only a four letter word to you?
Posted: 03:46:10 - Oct 30 2007

There is a Psychological idea to this also, which doesn't warrant my own opinion, but it's sorta interesting.

The idea is that you judge what you get and then if you find something else which is better, eg, a more rewarding relationship. (I'm being very basic here) then chances are that person will "score" higher to you than the first.

In my opinion, love isn't just a connection, I can quite happily say i LOVE all of my friends, to me love isn't just love, it's everyone around me who deserves my attention.

Illianos. "

my question is, do you deserve my attention?

Perceieve me inadequacy,
Drive my heart forth,
Strive to seal the tomb endeavour,
And seek to cleanse it pure.

Heed me solimacy,
I tend your words so,
Seek ignorance in place of bliss
And tell it to me so.

Call me attrapothee,
My ears heed your word,
I call not to you alone,
But to those who hear my words...

You may have noticed a few poems here and there, these are how I express myself.
Well, these and my drawing, but they shan't be put on here, only the poetry is public. nothing more, and even then I may not write it here.

You get what you're given,
And with what you're given,
You work with to do your best...
And if you don't do your best,
What can you do?

Understand something, Reader. Whoever you are or may be, friend or stranger - If you are here to "Pass Judgement", go elsewhere, kindly leave no comment, no "mark" of any sort and just leave.
I may be telling you things about myself, but that doesn't mean i'm here to be judged - i'm here, for me. Not for any of you.

I notice not many people tend to talk and you all make me feel lonely :(

Hah i'm kidding! But seriously, any questions - regarding help with VR profiles or otherwise, feel free to message me :)

Member Since:	Mar 29, 2007
Last Login:	Oct 06, 2020
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