Kookieplayz's Profile at Vampire Rave.

I don’t remember those first few months, except for the hunger. Hungry, ALWAYS hungry. I could never get enough; I was never allowed to have as much as I wanted. I was so focused on the hunger that nothing else mattered. Not the decaying body stench; not my tattered, blood stained, dirty clothes; not the fact that I was in an underground hole in the ground with no floor or windows, no way out and very little light; and not even the fact that the food I craved was the pulsing, warm, life-giving blood of another.

Then there was the unending silence except for the occasional distant scream and the thud of the blood bags being tossed into the hole with me.

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It is no wonder I am outside the normal, no one will ever know what I had to do to survive. I freely admit, it broke parts of me. The only people I could talk to are the ones inside me. (smiling) We had such good conversations, arguments, and debates. The imaginary became real and the real became a nightmare.

Finally, I don’t know if it was day or night, but I woke from a slumber to find a rope ladder. I did not trust it. Fearful of what it meant, if it was my imagination, if it was a trick to get me to climb it only to be tossed back into the hole. It took me two more sleep cycles to figure out there would be no food, no one was coming, and the only option for me was to climb the rope.

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Months after getting out of the hole, I slowly began to come back to my “self”. No more hiding food in case or being nervous in the silence.

Sparkles, color, music, laughter, with a twist of crazy is who I am now. I am comfortable with that. I went through a lot to become who I am now.

I am Kookie…..and I am here to play.

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Member Since:	Jul 27, 2009
Last Login:	Jul 16, 2023
Times Viewed:	947

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